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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

A Lame Product and a Lame Consumer

Posted by on Tue, Sep 29, 2009 at 4:39 PM

American Girl is selling a $95 doll that is homeless.

The wildly popular and outrageously pricey American Girl Store recently released a new doll. Her name is Gwen Thompson and she is homeless. According to her back story, her dad took off on the family, mom fell on hard times and now she sleeps in her car.

Just like Jewel! Technically, though, if you buy the doll, doesn't she have a home? And can't kids use their imaginations to make any doll they own homeless without their parents paying a hundred dollars for the privilege? Or does Gwen Thompson come with that special assy smell? I have so many questions.

And! A man is suing Froot Loops because they don't have any fruit in them.

Kellogs intentionally deceived consumers into buying Froot Loops by misleadingly using the word "froot" in the title, Werbel alleges...Had Werbel known that "Froot Loops contained no fruit, he would not have purchased it," his suit alleges.

Regular Slog readers will know that I do not generally take the side of large corporations over human beings, but—unless it turns out that the media has somehow distorted Werbel's lawsuit to appear frivolous the way they manipulated the McDonald's coffee lawsuit—this is an exception to that rule.

 

Comments (23) RSS

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1
Yeah, no kidding about the Froot Loops. The guy can't even bother doing his due diligence by reading the ingredients...guy should get laughed out of court.
Posted by The Avatar of Blue on September 29, 2009 at 4:46 PM
2
That damn doll is more talented than Jewel.

I am suing Cap'n Crunch because it does not contain real captains for me to crunch.
Posted by CommonKnowledge on September 29, 2009 at 4:47 PM
3
I bet Kellogg's specifically spelled it "Froot" to avoid these kinds of legal challenges. Too bad they underestimated the stupidity of the American public.
Posted by keshmeshi on September 29, 2009 at 4:51 PM
4
Funny you mention Cap'n Crunch, a similar lawsuit was laughed out of court earlier this year after a woman sued because there weren't any real berries in Crunchberries.

And I think that lawsuit actually mentioned a previous failed lawsuit against Froot Loops brought by the same attorneys. I don't know if that same firm is back to their old tricks now, but this would probably be a case for Rule 11 sanctions if it were.
Posted by PJF on September 29, 2009 at 5:03 PM
5
boy i can't wait for Fnarfs shit-handed insight on this.
Posted by SNARF on September 29, 2009 at 5:04 PM
Fnarf 6
Thank you for mentioning the McDonald's coffee lawsuit. I still hear people cite that all the time as an example of a court system out of control, an all-victim society, a stupid bitch who didn't know coffee was hot, yadda yadda. The truth is, McDonalds begged for that jury award, and they got what they deserved.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on September 29, 2009 at 5:06 PM
Vince 7
I was homeless for years and I managed to stay clean and "assy smell" free. And Werbel is a friut cake, a fruit free fruit cake.
Posted by Vince on September 29, 2009 at 5:18 PM
Will in Seattle 8
She's not homeless.

She has a car.

Lots of kids around the world don't have a car. Or a mat. They're lucky if they can sleep in the sewers when it isn't the rainy season.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on September 29, 2009 at 5:28 PM
Michael of the Green 9
The cereal has plenty of froot.
Posted by Michael of the Green on September 29, 2009 at 5:38 PM
lizzie 10
He's not trying to get rich, obviously. He's fighting for consumer protections against food corporations trying to pass off chemical foods as actual foods. Why would you bash someone like that? Froot Loops, for example, contains more insect- and petroleum-derived ingredients (FDA dyes) than fruit ingredients.

If you want unregulated free-market foods, you'll get something like the current herbal supplements market (although those are still prohibited from making "structure and function" claims). You'll get foods that aren't what they say they are, ridiculous health effects with no warning or recourse (like Zicam's permanent loss of smell), and ridiculous claims and lies of all kinds.

We need a LOT more food regulation against unscrupuous corporations, not less. I hope this guy wins.
Posted by lizzie on September 29, 2009 at 6:10 PM
11
I am guessing she has an "assy smell," running sores and her very own bottle of cheap wine. But the best part is when you bring home and she gets your child drunk, throws up on your sofa and then sells your dog for crack.
Posted by Senor Guy on September 29, 2009 at 6:20 PM
Will in Seattle 12
How come my Fruit of the Loom undies aren't made out of Fruit?
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on September 29, 2009 at 6:25 PM
meowmeowkitty 13
OHMYGODWILLYOUPLEASESHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by meowmeowkitty on September 29, 2009 at 6:40 PM
Aislinn 14
User reviews for Gwen go back to February - that's hardly "recently." Gwen is made as a friend to their Doll of the Year, Chrissa, who deals with bullying and issues of acceptance. ALL the dolls cost $95, it's not like they released a homeless doll at an especially exorbitant price. The target demographic for American Girl dolls is middle-to-upper-class girls, aka the girls who would be in a position to pick on another girl for being poor, and personalizing a story of a homeless girl strikes me as a reasonable way to address that.
Posted by Aislinn on September 29, 2009 at 7:33 PM
julie russell 15
I hate those stupid dolls...I bought the Julie doll for my niece (she's a free-spirit with 3 dogs...just like crazy aunt Julie).
Apparently my sister has some 2 American Girl Doll limit in the household,which I was unaware of....so she intercepted the gift, witheld it from my niece and I have become the evil aunt for sending it???Stupid Effing American Girl Dolls
Posted by julie russell http:// on September 29, 2009 at 7:43 PM
Jessica 16
American Girls have made less-well off "companion" dolls before, doesn't anyone remember Nellie, the orphan factory girl who worked to support her younger siblings and then was recruited as a lady's maid by Samantha (who should never have been discontinued).
Posted by Jessica on September 29, 2009 at 10:39 PM
17
Oh my god, I am suddenly reminded of how I used to obsessively pore over those damned catalogs when I was little. I wanted an American Girl doll SO BAD but I never got one. My friend's mom made her a dress that looked just like Samantha's nautical dress and I was green with envy.

@6 - totally, the McDonald's case was legit. It's amazing how the media's portrayal of that case (either lazy or willfully manipulative) so thoroughly permeated the public's consciousness.
Posted by JenV on September 29, 2009 at 11:23 PM
18
Jewel actually only had to live in her van for a couple days while her apartment was being remodeled.
Posted by Kevin Erickson on September 30, 2009 at 12:06 AM
19
This is all way too hilarious to comprehend right now.
Fuck a 95 dollar doll and fuck a company for trying to make a profit off of the perceived image of a less fortunate member of society... although I do wonder what the tattered clothes of the overpriced plastic doll look like.

They should make a third world american girl.

MMmm... froot loops.
Posted by mammal on September 30, 2009 at 3:20 AM
20
Oh wait...
that is a third world american girl.
Posted by mammal on September 30, 2009 at 3:26 AM
21

I went to the supermarket and bought an apple, but it wouldn't play mp3s.

Was I ripped off?

Posted by Hints from Heloise on September 30, 2009 at 3:37 AM
dollface 22
SAD DOLLS!
Posted by dollface http://www.protovietic.wordpress.com on September 30, 2009 at 7:04 AM
Posted by Urgutha Forka on September 30, 2009 at 8:47 AM

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