Slog

News & Arts

The Stranger Suggests

Critics' Best Bets
Music Arts & Food

Line Out

Music & the City
at Night

  |  

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Film News Flash: Cindy Crawford Cannot Act

Posted by on Wed, Sep 23, 2009 at 12:24 PM

scaled.Fg3_320.jpg

Last night I saw BADMOVIEART's presentation of the 1995 thriller Fair Game, in which Cindy Crawford tries very, very hard to act, but alas she cannot.

But watching her try is pretty fucking hilarious—if you haven't seen Cindy Crawford discuss maritime law, you haven't lived—and as scene after scene packed with Crawford's awfulness paraded across the screen, I wondered, "Who stole this woman's hard-earned Razzie for Worst Actress of 1995?"

And then I remembered.

As the genius over my left shoulder put it, "1995 is to horrible movies what 1939 is to classics."

 

Comments (15) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Cindy Crawford doesn't have to know how to act, faggot.
She's Cindy Crawford.
Posted by Heterosexual Guy on September 23, 2009 at 12:32 PM
David Schmader 2
She does look very, very pretty for the duration of the movie, even when she's just been blasted out of her apartment into a smelly lake.
Posted by David Schmader on September 23, 2009 at 12:35 PM
Rotten666 3
the thing that annoys me about the Razzies? They always go with such obvious choices.
Posted by Rotten666 on September 23, 2009 at 12:39 PM
LogopolisMike 4
Wow, based on my memory, I thought your dissing of 1995 was hyperbole. But damn...you're right.
Posted by LogopolisMike http://logopolis.typepad.com on September 23, 2009 at 12:41 PM
Enigma 5
Congo, wow. That was one of my favorite movies growing up, I loved Koko's synthesized voice. It's hard for me to see it as a bad movie because I have so much fun watching it.
And Tim Curry is fabulous in anything he is in. :-)
Posted by Enigma http://approvereferendum71.org/ on September 23, 2009 at 12:45 PM
6
I'm guessing that this means Cindy Crawford can eat a hamburger believably, making her a slightly better actress than Berkly in Showgirls.
Posted by Patty on September 23, 2009 at 12:57 PM
christopher575 7
I'm so glad this gem is finally on YouTube after all these years:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orxmkiH4H…
Posted by christopher575 on September 23, 2009 at 1:12 PM
Cato the Younger Younger 8
1939 was the year Hollywood peaked: it's been pretty shitty ever since.
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on September 23, 2009 at 1:17 PM
TheMisanthrope 9
And, as mentioned previously, in awesome retro style:

The mystery of Britney Spears Breasts...

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/Media/An…
Posted by TheMisanthrope on September 23, 2009 at 3:59 PM
10
Besides her lack of acting skills, in the interviews I've seen, Crawford has the personality of a door knob.
Posted by East Coast Realist on September 23, 2009 at 4:09 PM
emma's bee 11
Thanks for that linky trip down mem'ry lane. Speaking of which, why is Dan Aykroyd signing vodka bottles in the ad at right? Have Ghostbusters residuals tanked that much?
Posted by emma's bee on September 23, 2009 at 4:11 PM
12
sorry, IMHO 95's winners outweigh the losers

ups:
toy story
apollo 13
goldeneye
se7en
diehard 3
braveheart
get shorty
heat
species
12 monkeys
casino

downs:
batman forever
jumanji
waterworld
congo
mortal kombat
grumpier old men
outbreak
clueless
the net
under siege 2
brady bunch movie
power rangers movie
first knight
Posted by Jonno on September 23, 2009 at 6:40 PM
13
10
even better-
lickable!
yummy.
Posted by Heterosexual Guy on September 23, 2009 at 6:53 PM
TheRain 14
#1 FTW.
Posted by TheRain on September 23, 2009 at 6:54 PM
15
Why are all the movies that i liked in the '95 downs list?!
Posted by rollerboogieboy on September 29, 2009 at 10:17 AM

Add a comment

Advertisement
 

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy