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News & ArtsTuesday, September 15, 2009
Savage Love Savage Love Letter of the Day
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Sep 15, 2009 at 5:32 PM
I don't understand flavored condoms. My frist assumption was that they were for performing protected oral sex, but on second thought I realized that there is no way in hell that any flavor would ever cover that nasty latex smell and/or taste. Therefore my question is what the fuck are they really for? Are they suppose to be used to spice up the penis or pussy for post-sex oral? Who gives head after condom sex really? Are they really meant for marathon sex sessions only? Or maybe were they just created as a novelty sex item that no one really sues for flavor?Carrot and Tomatocat
My answer after the jump...
Flavored condoms were heavily promoted during the worst years of the AIDS crisis. Back then we were obligated to pretend that all sex acts were equally risky—kinda like we pretended that people of all sexual orientations were equally at risk. If gay men needed to use condoms every time for anal intercourse then, by God, straight people needed to use 'em every time for vaginal intercourse and everybody needed to use condoms for oral sex (and "latex barriers," a.k.a. "dental dams," a.k.a. "a joke," for eating pussy and rimming). But sucking on a latex condom is pretty gross, as latex tastes pretty awful, and so flavored condoms—strawberry! cherry! bubblegum!
But you know what you want to taste when you're sucking cock? Cock. But somehow it never occurred to anyone to produce a cock-flavored condom.
These days flavored condoms sit on shelves in sex shops, and in bowls in college health clinics, gathering dust with dentals dams. Occasionally someone who doesn't like giving head, or is sleeping with someone who doesn't like giving head, buys or picks up a few flavored condoms, in the hopes that their blowjob-averse partner will have a change of heart after sucking on a flavored condom. Never happens.
1
Lesbian side note, my wife and I use flavored condoms on our toys, so that when she goes down on me after we've used the toys she doesn't have to taste latex on me. We could use toys without the condom, but this makes cleanup easier and we don't have to clean in the middle of sex.
2
If my lover or I have any of them around we will use 'em when screwing. Sometime I grab a handful of free condoms when I go to the ob/gyn and they are usually coloured and flavoured. However, I never would want to suck on one- ew!
4
Don't be dissing on dental dams. For the less fortunate among us, they are the only way to get a rimjob from an otherwise squeamish partner.
6
I made the mistake one night of going down on my boyfriend after he used one of those climax control condoms - it tasted awful and my entire mouth went numb for a full hour after. That's the only time I've ever given head after my partner had been wearing a condom, and while we had a good laugh at my talking funny for an hour, it was still a lesson I didn't need to learn twice.
7
I've never tried flavored. I do remember that we used flavored lube, pina colada, to mask the flavor and the scent of the latex initially, eventually the taste of latex was overwhelmed with the taste of spit with the essence of pina colada.
I'm guessing if they could make condoms taste and smell like cock, they could see an increase in popularity?
I'm guessing if they could make condoms taste and smell like cock, they could see an increase in popularity?
8
I'm thinking cock sauce... http://www.spicesetc.com/images/uploads/…
could be a bit of a painful flava for a condom.
could be a bit of a painful flava for a condom.
9
I don't find giving fellatio at all unpleasant with a condom (never tried a flavored one, don't mind the taste of latex). Sure, it's different than on a bare cock, but it's kinda fun in that the cock is artificially smooth and easier to quickly go up and down on. If laying on the guy I'm giving fellatio to, I've got plenty of skin-to-skin contact, and I don't miss mouth-to-skin contact.
10
I always assumed they were for novelty/gag gifts and didn't even think they were real (that is, they weren't tested to be up to par for real protection).
11
New name for flavored condoms:
Fruit Rolls (tm)
Pack 'em like LifeSavers.
Save the reds for special evenings
Fruit Rolls (tm)
Pack 'em like LifeSavers.
Save the reds for special evenings
12
@ seandr: How about plastic wrap? Probably cheaper too, unless you're already getting the condoms for free.
14
Used to get 'em for free from the needle exchange, and every once in a while we'd end up using a mint one. There is really nothing like the intermingled smells of sex and mint . . . and that's a good thing.
15
Dan Dan Dan,
Do you understand how many flavored condoms are sold every day? Lots and lots! They do not gather dust!
With love,
Someone Who Sells A Lot Condoms
P.S. The best flavored ones are made by Trustex. Either that, or you could pair a lube-free Trustex condom with a delightful flavored lube! (The regular ol' flavorless condoms are usually coated with a not-so-delicious lube.)
Do you understand how many flavored condoms are sold every day? Lots and lots! They do not gather dust!
With love,
Someone Who Sells A Lot Condoms
P.S. The best flavored ones are made by Trustex. Either that, or you could pair a lube-free Trustex condom with a delightful flavored lube! (The regular ol' flavorless condoms are usually coated with a not-so-delicious lube.)
17
For our health services ("Malfare") tent at Nowhere Festival in Spain, we gave away a few flavored condoms. Though it is a Burning Dude style DIY event, we figured that we should have some on hand in case they were needed by people who did not think about the whole "self reliance" thing in depth. The condoms were mostly donated from London and it was with great joy that some of our volunteers were able to hand out whiskey flavored condoms and CURRY flavored condoms...
Curry... the mind boggles..
Curry... the mind boggles..
20
During my sex-ed class freshman year of high school out teacher passed around flavored condoms to smell to encourage us to use them during oral sex.
I wasn't a fan.
I wasn't a fan.
22
Actually, my ex and I were huge consumers of flavored condoms for oral sex. Why? Because he was uncircumsized, and the nature of this for him meant that his penis was ultrasensitive. So, we had to use condoms during basically any sort of interaction to lessen the sensation to a manageable level for him (adult circumcision was not something he would consider). We generally used Durex, and strawberry is my favorite. They're really not bad, except for the mouth dryness that tends to occur when you use a condom during oral sex.
23
They need more interesting flavors. Barbecued chicken. Pad Thai. Harvey Wallbanger. Triple espresso would work for me.
24
Totally agree with number 22 and 9. My BF volunteers at an STD clinic and so he brings home a variety of condoms for free. We ended up with a strawberry durex one and I love it- best flavored lube ever. We made a little game out of how I'd better "clean it off" before we used it for vaginal sex. I love the taste of my man without a condom, but I also like how much slipperier he is with one on and how much easier it is to do different things with my mouth when I don't have to worry about accidently catching his foreskin. Thumbs up all around.
25
I agree with everyone who said condoms are fun for oral sex. I like the funny slipperiness!
My first real sexual experience involved a weird mint condom. It smelled kind of like pickles and tasted gross, but I still can't hold back the sighs of nostalgia.
My first real sexual experience involved a weird mint condom. It smelled kind of like pickles and tasted gross, but I still can't hold back the sighs of nostalgia.
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