Slog
News & ArtsTuesday, September 15, 2009
Crime / Life Burnt after Burning Man, Man
Posted by David Schmader on Tue, Sep 15, 2009 at 1:11 PM
A recent addition to the I, Anonymous forums (bolds mine):
I just got back from Burning Man. The main reason I went is because I was losing faith in humanity...the shit that everyone pulls, the nasty shit everone does, the horrible, haughty, vulgar, and pathetic things that everyone says to one another literally makes me sick. So I left.Now, at Burning Man, bikes are essential (too much desert, too little time) so I had to make myself a really awesome Burning Man bike! I went to the fabric store intending on getting some faux fur to glue on my bike, but then I saw the glorious polka dots! I love polka dots! I don't know why, but I do!
It was so nice having something beautiful and functional to work on at home after work. One week and a lot of glue later I had a bike that I loved. Then unfortunately I came home thinking that not everyone was a douche-bag anymore and that my bike would be fine for just one night outside, because I had just driven for thirteen hours straight and could not find my bike lock anywhere for the life of me. So we unloaded the van and I fell asleep. I left my bike alone for less than 9 hours... I don't know who the fuck you are but you are the scabies on the ass of the whore that is the U District. Thanks for helping me restore my faith in humanity you fuck.
I hope you die, and soon.
3
How obnoxious. It's not humanity that stole your hippie-ass bike, it's a thief or a junky that stole your bike. The U-District is full of thieves and junkies, so it's really not the best place to test your faith in "humanity" by being stupid and leaving your bike unlocked.
4
Bike thieves are the modern day horse thieves. They should be strung up and beaten with gear chains. In front of everyone. I hate bike (and bike wheel) thieves. Death to them all.
5
This whole I anonymous could be reduced to:
"I left my bike out overnight in the u-district and someone stole it."
I don't see anything gripping or even unexpected in this tale of woe. I do see a dumbass though.
"I left my bike out overnight in the u-district and someone stole it."
I don't see anything gripping or even unexpected in this tale of woe. I do see a dumbass though.
10
In my estimation, most of the people who declare they have lost their "faith in humanity" didn't have much to begin with and are looking for excuses to feel even more oppressed.
12
@11, that's exactly what I was thinking. I've spent many a night crammed into a van with a bike. It's totally worth it.
And what Carollani @3 said.
And what Carollani @3 said.
14
LOL. They've been stealing bikes in the U Dist for decades.
Seriously, you don't "need" a bike at the Burn. You're just too lazy and "want" one.
Sucks to be you.
Seriously, you don't "need" a bike at the Burn. You're just too lazy and "want" one.
Sucks to be you.
15
Perhaps you should be thanking the thief for finally teaching you a valuable life lesson:
Tools left unattended WILL BE STOLEN.
It's a shame that you didn't learn it sooner.
Tools left unattended WILL BE STOLEN.
It's a shame that you didn't learn it sooner.
16
Oh noes!
You didn't lock up your bike and it got stolen. That's why they have bike locks. For locking your bike. So it doesn't get stolen.
You didn't lock up your bike and it got stolen. That's why they have bike locks. For locking your bike. So it doesn't get stolen.
17
"I hope you die, and soon."
Nice ending. Just goes to show that all it takes to convert a hippie to a staunch republican is a tiny dose of cold reality. The only thing consistent about either side of the spectrum is that they're always fucking wrong.
It goes from :'All people are perfect, and we're all in this together man! Let's hug!'
To: 'Humanity is a waste, and it's all for themselves. Fucking die.'
...after the mere loss of a bike. Jesus. If we're gonna nuke the south, can we please do it while burning man is going on, just to get two birds with one stone?
Nice ending. Just goes to show that all it takes to convert a hippie to a staunch republican is a tiny dose of cold reality. The only thing consistent about either side of the spectrum is that they're always fucking wrong.
It goes from :'All people are perfect, and we're all in this together man! Let's hug!'
To: 'Humanity is a waste, and it's all for themselves. Fucking die.'
...after the mere loss of a bike. Jesus. If we're gonna nuke the south, can we please do it while burning man is going on, just to get two birds with one stone?
18
I want to give you sympathy. I fucking hate bike thieves....like if i saw someone stealing the most shitty huffy across the street I would literally risk my health and well being to defend that shit with a pipe and a knife... to the death, if needed. Being a bike rider myself I lock the shit out of my bike.....the likelihood of someone taking my bike is pretty slim. I really want to sympathize with you but I guess now you know that most people in the world fucking suck, there are a few of us out there that are awesome.....it doesn't take long for the average human to figure out this simple fact.....apparently it took you a lot longer. So sorry, how old are you by the way? 18?
Anyways, I would in general like to stop hearing about stolen bikes, stop reading about them on websites and stop seeing posts on Craigslist looking to recover their lost bikes. I'm convinced that probably 2/3 of stolen bikes weren't even locked up in the first place....not even a fucking shoelace. (I just pulled that % out of my ass btw)
furthermore, did you even bother to take off the front wheel so the thief would actually have to carry it away instead of just rolling away into the night? probably not.....
sorry, i am just so sick of careless riders whining..
/end rant
ps. Carollani, fuck you, I love the U-District, we have some amazing people & things to do here.
Anyways, I would in general like to stop hearing about stolen bikes, stop reading about them on websites and stop seeing posts on Craigslist looking to recover their lost bikes. I'm convinced that probably 2/3 of stolen bikes weren't even locked up in the first place....not even a fucking shoelace. (I just pulled that % out of my ass btw)
furthermore, did you even bother to take off the front wheel so the thief would actually have to carry it away instead of just rolling away into the night? probably not.....
sorry, i am just so sick of careless riders whining..
/end rant
ps. Carollani, fuck you, I love the U-District, we have some amazing people & things to do here.
19
You know what challenges my faith in humanity? People that leave their valuable possessions outside.
20
There's something fundamentally wrong with most of the comments in this thread. It is true that unlocked bikes are frequently stolen--but people seem to be taking almost a malicious joy in blaming the victim here. Possibly the difference is in the jadedness of Slog versus the optimistic helping environment of Burning Man (though it's true, there are bike-thieving douchebags there too). Sure, there's lots of ways in which theft can be avoided, but that isn't the point. It's not the OP's obligation, and we shouldn't consider it that way. It sucks as much if precautions weren't taken, as if they were.
21
"I love the U-District, we have some amazing people & things to do here."
Nevertheless, the U-District *is* full of thieves and junkies
Nevertheless, the U-District *is* full of thieves and junkies
23
Stupid hippie. Why don't you channel your pain thru interpretive dance? And then while you're doing that, I'll steal your wallet too.
26
Sorry your bike was stolen, Anonymous.
It's hard for people that have never done anything stupid or ever made a mistake to sympathize with people that have. Perfect people don't know what it's to be tired and use poor judgement, so naturally they would have difficulty understanding that it wasn't your fault.
Sure it wasn't smart to leave your bike unlocked, but the act of stealing it was completely and totally the fault of the person that chose to steal what wasn't theirs.
It's hard for people that have never done anything stupid or ever made a mistake to sympathize with people that have. Perfect people don't know what it's to be tired and use poor judgement, so naturally they would have difficulty understanding that it wasn't your fault.
Sure it wasn't smart to leave your bike unlocked, but the act of stealing it was completely and totally the fault of the person that chose to steal what wasn't theirs.
28
Burning Man huh? I don't acknowledge "The Man" therefore I do not have to burn. Let go of your anger.
30
Well, this person clearly burned a few billion brain cells at Burning Man because that wasn't very smart.
31
A person should be fucking able to anticipate that a bike left unlocked and unattended in such a place will probably disappear. The party who took the bike may not even actually wanted the goddamned thing or so much stolen it as relocated it in the nearest alley as a spiteful, drunken prank.
Boo hoo. Now the big hippy crybaby won't have a polka dotted bike with which to draw attention to themselves at Burning Man.
Boo hoo. Now the big hippy crybaby won't have a polka dotted bike with which to draw attention to themselves at Burning Man.
32
I went to BM for that same reason, but for me it worked. You gotta be a lil careful at BM with stuff because you have to consider that in the light of everything some people are just loopin outta their skulls and dont really know whats goin on. like i bet the person who took it was fucked up, and like "oh ima borrow this bike and bring it back" and the next morning couldnt even remember how they got it. Its rather surprising that you'd take it so personally...especially when im sur ethroughout the week you recieved some pretty cool things from other people...its just a bike; personally I just can't comprehend letting something like that bother me at a place like BRC...
33
Assholes ruin everything. It's not a thought-terminating cliche, it's the reason why you don't have a bike any more. Enjoy.
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