Santorum—the slick, the Rick—washed over Slog earlier today. The point was made—yet again—that the gays and teh buttsecks is so icky. How can we expect mainstream Americans to accept us if we're having teh buttsecks and getting santorum all over absolutely everything?

Two points:

1. If you're doing anal sex right, America, there's shouldn't be any santorum. (And if you're doing politics right there shouldn't be any Santorum.) That's why santorum is defined as the "frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex." If you're clean, if you're only engaging in anal sex when your bowels are good 'n empty, if you're using condoms—in short, if you're doing it right—you're only going to have some frothy lube to show for your efforts, not a frothy mix of lube, fecal matter, and semen. Santorum sometimes happens, of course. Let's not kid ourselves: it's ass fucking, and accidents sometimes happen. But it's always an unwelcome and unexpected occurrence, a mood-killer and a sex-ender ("Let's hit the shower!").

2. Most of the santorum produced in America—or frothed in America—is produced by... STRAIGHT PEOPLE. According to a 2005 study by CDC, "40% of men and 35% of women between 25 and 44 had engaged in heterosexual anal sex." And then there's this: "Another survey in 2008 focused on a much younger demographic of teens and young adults aged 15-21. It found that 16% of 1350 surveyed had had anal sex in the previous 3 months, with condoms being used 29% of the time. However, given the subject matter, the survey hypothesized the prevalence was probably underestimated."

Gay people are a tiny percentage of the population—roughly 3-5%—and even if every gay couple in America had anal sex every time they had sex (and something like a 30% of gay men never have anal sex), we would still be way, way, way outnumbered by the numbers of straight couples having anal sex.

So who's responsible for most of the santorum being pumped out in America? Straight people are.