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News & ArtsTuesday, September 8, 2009
Homo A Novel Use of the Gay Panic Defense
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Sep 8, 2009 at 12:02 PM
The 14-year-old gay kid my son has been bullying? He hit on my son, you know, and that makes me cry.
3
Be careful here, Dan. The facts are disputed. The alleged harasser says the gay kid punched him in the face. If the gay kid is following him around and hounding the harasser, saying he loves him and wants to date and wishes the kid's family dead, the sexuality is not relevant (i.e., its potential harassment if the kid were hounding a girl and saying the exact same things.) I agree that misplace fear of homosexuality can cause kids to lash out, but more facts are needed to draw conclusions in this particular case.
4
I thought you were writing about your actual son for a second there. OMG, Dan Savage's son bullies gay kids.
5
Agree with 3. From the very few details provided, the mom could be a lunatic making up a gay panic defense. But if what she says is true and the kid is hounding her son and punched him in the face, this is more than a simple case of gay-bashing.
6
Oh, gay kids can be real bullies alright, let's get that one out in the open. I was particularly nasty growing up.
However! As others have pointed out, this is a really precarious argument to make since we can't really be certain either way. The only fact we know is that teenagers are real jerks.
However! As others have pointed out, this is a really precarious argument to make since we can't really be certain either way. The only fact we know is that teenagers are real jerks.
7
@6: "The only fact we know is that teenagers are real jerks."
Truer words never spoken.
This is likely just a gay panic defense piece of crapola, but it might not be. More facts needed.
Truer words never spoken.
This is likely just a gay panic defense piece of crapola, but it might not be. More facts needed.
8
I sometimes wonder how any of us survived being 14. That was a particularly bad year for me, if I recall.
10
@3 and @6 -- I agree, but it seems that the real point here lies in this quote from the bully's mom -- “This boy has told my son that he loves him, that they should go out and that he wished my son’s family dead." Telling someone you wish their family is dead is clearly harassment. A 14-year-old asking another 14-year-old on a date and declaring their love -- not harassment. Despite whether the gay kid said those things or not, I bet she wouldn't say that part of it was inappropriate if it was coming from a girl.
11
It's easy for people to ascribe motives and motivations to people.
But we don't live in their heads.
But we don't live in their heads.
13
Bullies often try to blame their victims for 'making' the bully hurt them.
I am ashamed that some of you are falling for it.
I am ashamed that some of you are falling for it.
14
Obama seems to be all about getting the government involved in all aspects of our lives, so why can't he implement an intelligence test that people must pass before they can bear children? That would solve a lot of problems like this one.
15
This is why I unabashedly discriminate against stupid people. "Well, aren't you against ignorance? Isn't it ignorant to hate ignorance?"
Eat my ass.
Eat my ass.
16
"...but more facts are needed to draw conclusions..."
You obviously haven't ready much of Dan's work.
You obviously haven't ready much of Dan's work.
17
Mommy has a bad case of 'precious snowflake syndrome'. A disease that causes parents to believe their child is incapable of making a mistake and when they get caught it can't be possibly be their darling little snowflake's fault. Their darling, precious snowflake was the real victim or they were provoked. The teachers must have caught him in the act to suspend him for 6 months. I wonder if she also knows that most schools have security cameras now? Well, I'm sure she'll figure it out eventually....and then make up more excuses for her darling, darling snowflake.
18
What if you punch a guy and call him an ant-gay slur, but you actually believe he is straight and are just using the anti-gay slur to insult him?
You are clearly at least a bit anti-gay, but should you be charged with a hate crime in this particular instance? Does it make a difference if the the victim, contrary to your impression, actually is gay?
Yeah, this doesn't really apply to the instant topic being discussed. Sorry.
You are clearly at least a bit anti-gay, but should you be charged with a hate crime in this particular instance? Does it make a difference if the the victim, contrary to your impression, actually is gay?
Yeah, this doesn't really apply to the instant topic being discussed. Sorry.
19
I agree with 3 - with what's in the article, this is just kind of a sad story for everyone involved, the kind of stupid high school disputes that get blown out of all proportion because the administration at the school was intimidated by the protected status of one of the participants.
Maybe the bully was pure evil, or maybe the gay kid was a passive-aggressive, stalking, sexual harasser who felt enabled in poor behavior when the administration was too impotent to enforce safe, fair, universal boundaries on behavior because they mistook "supportive" with "indulgent".
With what's in the article, it's hard to say what's going on.
Maybe the bully was pure evil, or maybe the gay kid was a passive-aggressive, stalking, sexual harasser who felt enabled in poor behavior when the administration was too impotent to enforce safe, fair, universal boundaries on behavior because they mistook "supportive" with "indulgent".
With what's in the article, it's hard to say what's going on.
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