Slog
News & ArtsMonday, August 31, 2009
Wilderness A Confession
Posted by Eli Sanders on Mon, Aug 31, 2009 at 8:35 AM
- Via Creative Commons
1
Nice. I've always wanted to play with one of those things. Even though I knew a kid who got his neck broken and arm crushed when he flipped one over. Fun things are usually potentially lethal.
2
When I breath air thick with pollution and we have run out of clean water Eli, we'll blame you and only you.
When we are dying desperate for clean air our last gasp of breath of air will spit out your name!
When we are dying desperate for clean air our last gasp of breath of air will spit out your name!
3
Once when invited out to a Christian horse camp by an acquaintance who lived there, I enjoyed shooting his shotguns all day long at tv sets, clay pigeons, wooden posts and what not. I just really enjoyed shooting those guns!
5
In your defense, you were in Idaho. There is obviously something in the air or the water or something there that has strange effects on the brain. It causes people there to become white supremacists, vote for deeply closeted republicans, and ride ATVs.
I now shudder to think what the next SECB recommendations will be like, now that you've been exposed to this crippling Idaho element.
I now shudder to think what the next SECB recommendations will be like, now that you've been exposed to this crippling Idaho element.
9
Just be nice to Mtbikers..If you ever ride on 2 motorized wheels there is a GREAT secret trail between Mt St Helens and Mt Rainier called the Valley 270.
12
@11 Kim: these two activities are hardly comparable (see above references re pollution, noise, erosion)
Eli: Glad you fessed up. Now go the next step and admit how stupid you were to ride without a helmet, and showing pride in being an asshole while being smug about it publicly....
Eli: Glad you fessed up. Now go the next step and admit how stupid you were to ride without a helmet, and showing pride in being an asshole while being smug about it publicly....
13
Growing up on a 2700 acre cattle ranch in Northern California we had an ATV that we used for many utilitarian purposes. Anytime we needed to get somewhere you couldn't go in the pickup or just didn't need to haul much (say, just a chainsaw), we'd take the ATV (four-wheeler, we called it). Damn that thing was fun though, even just driving on dirt roads.
The problem with something like an ATV as a pure recreational item when you live in the city or suburbs is the pure hassle. You have to load it into the back of your pickup or trailer, take gas and tools, drive to wherever your play area is, unload it, roar around, load everything back up, drive the whole mess home and then unload everything. Ugh. As I am now a city slicker (flat-lander we used to call people like me on the ranch), I'll keep my recreational activities that I drive for to skiing and hiking.
The problem with something like an ATV as a pure recreational item when you live in the city or suburbs is the pure hassle. You have to load it into the back of your pickup or trailer, take gas and tools, drive to wherever your play area is, unload it, roar around, load everything back up, drive the whole mess home and then unload everything. Ugh. As I am now a city slicker (flat-lander we used to call people like me on the ranch), I'll keep my recreational activities that I drive for to skiing and hiking.
14
@12: well, whitewater involves a LOT of driving - and use of multiple vehicles for shuttling.
not AS bad, but no outdoor recreation is carbon-free, unless you just start walking from your house.
not AS bad, but no outdoor recreation is carbon-free, unless you just start walking from your house.
15
Did you feel the need to demonstrate a little testosterone poisoning publicly through this "confession?" I can't detect any sign of remorse. So you're an idiot, an idiot who writes passably well. As such, you're just one of a multitude.
16
Did you notice the warnings written all over the machine? Still, I suspect some moron files suit against an ATV manufacturer every day claiming they are inherently dangerous and poorly designed. "Please, protect me from myself!"
18
Rules for not getting killed on an ATV:
1. Don't drive like an idiot.
2. Don't drive like an asshole.
3. Don't let the ATV take you somewhere your mind hasn't already gotten to.
Actually, these are pretty good rules for not getting killed on any form of transportation.
1. Don't drive like an idiot.
2. Don't drive like an asshole.
3. Don't let the ATV take you somewhere your mind hasn't already gotten to.
Actually, these are pretty good rules for not getting killed on any form of transportation.
21
Technically you rode home on a combination of light rail and bus.
That said, sexy sexy French Canadian snowmobiles for the win!
ATVs are ok, but are more fun to flip off an embankment as you go into the river, and try not to flood the engine.
That said, sexy sexy French Canadian snowmobiles for the win!
ATVs are ok, but are more fun to flip off an embankment as you go into the river, and try not to flood the engine.
22
@14
Actually that's not carbon neutral either, unless all the clothing you're wearing, food you eat, and housing components you live in are all carbon neutral.
Plus cycling from your front door is far more fun.
Actually that's not carbon neutral either, unless all the clothing you're wearing, food you eat, and housing components you live in are all carbon neutral.
Plus cycling from your front door is far more fun.
23
@ 12 & 15 - Why does Eli have to offer up a "confession" for this? Does Eli now have to be vegan for a week as penance? Christ, you tight-assed pricks really ARE trying to drain all of the fun out of life.
27
@23 Hey stupid: Eli is the one asking for leniency. (Re-read his post)
We are pointing out that being unrepentant about jerkoff behavior doesn't deserve absolution from being an asshat/douchebag/current-dope-moniker.
Being ignorant and proud of it is a really unfortunate characteristic of dunderheads and selfish pricks (please see religious fundamentalists and Republicans).
We are pointing out that being unrepentant about jerkoff behavior doesn't deserve absolution from being an asshat/douchebag/current-dope-moniker.
Being ignorant and proud of it is a really unfortunate characteristic of dunderheads and selfish pricks (please see religious fundamentalists and Republicans).
28
dude...
giant "who cares!?"
seriously, you should be apologizing for the melodrama, that's the real crime here.
my god. a COW causes more toxic emissions in one day than you riding an ATV in RURAL idaho. do we all realize how OVER THE TOP this sounds?
@23 and @26...i'm with you.
giant "who cares!?"
seriously, you should be apologizing for the melodrama, that's the real crime here.
my god. a COW causes more toxic emissions in one day than you riding an ATV in RURAL idaho. do we all realize how OVER THE TOP this sounds?
@23 and @26...i'm with you.
29
@ 27 - I read the post just fine, thanks. Eli shouldn't have to ask for leniency.
So having some fun riding an ATV is "jerkoff behavior" and being an asshat/douchebag and ignorant and selfish? Jeez, you don't sound like you're much fun to hang out with.
So having some fun riding an ATV is "jerkoff behavior" and being an asshat/douchebag and ignorant and selfish? Jeez, you don't sound like you're much fun to hang out with.
30
@27, there's no need for name-calling. wow. why so hostile?
and who the hell do you think you are for calling somebody riding an ATV "jerkoff behavior?"
how uppity and self-righteous! go back and re-read what you wrote and KNOW that you DO NOT speak for all that is right and good in this world.
WOW. read your last statement in your post again. being so judgmental AND ignorant AND proud is an unfortunate characteristic of WAY too many trendy-hipster-wannabe's in Seattle these days...get a life, yo.
and who the hell do you think you are for calling somebody riding an ATV "jerkoff behavior?"
how uppity and self-righteous! go back and re-read what you wrote and KNOW that you DO NOT speak for all that is right and good in this world.
WOW. read your last statement in your post again. being so judgmental AND ignorant AND proud is an unfortunate characteristic of WAY too many trendy-hipster-wannabe's in Seattle these days...get a life, yo.
31
@27, there's no need for name-calling. wow. why so hostile?
and who the hell do you think you are for calling somebody riding an ATV "jerkoff behavior?"
how uppity and self-righteous! go back and re-read what you wrote and KNOW that you DO NOT speak for all that is right and good in this world.
WOW. read your last statement in your post again. being so judgmental AND ignorant AND proud is an unfortunate characteristic of WAY too many trendy-hipster-wannabe's in Seattle these days...get a life, yo.
and who the hell do you think you are for calling somebody riding an ATV "jerkoff behavior?"
how uppity and self-righteous! go back and re-read what you wrote and KNOW that you DO NOT speak for all that is right and good in this world.
WOW. read your last statement in your post again. being so judgmental AND ignorant AND proud is an unfortunate characteristic of WAY too many trendy-hipster-wannabe's in Seattle these days...get a life, yo.
32
I hereby demand that we get back to the topic at hand, which is that ATVs and snowmobiles are cool, even if the electric ones don't have that neat gas-fired engine sound.
33
i've never ridden an ATV before, but posts like this (and the comments that ensue) make me want to buy one and do donuts in all your front yards, then sell it and donate the proceeds to sarahPAC.
34
@30 Pookie: Come sit down here and I will let you in on a little secret, m'kay? This is the COMMENT section where people make comments about blog entries. Some commentors even call each other suggestive names like "tight-assed pricks".
That isn't very nice is it? But golly some people are just jerks and do all kinds of things, like ruin public land, endanger others, cause unwarranted noise in public spaces and then they walk around bragging about it! This is what defines an ASSHOLE.
Now run along and don't let me catch you reading the adult section again!
That isn't very nice is it? But golly some people are just jerks and do all kinds of things, like ruin public land, endanger others, cause unwarranted noise in public spaces and then they walk around bragging about it! This is what defines an ASSHOLE.
Now run along and don't let me catch you reading the adult section again!
35
@ 30/31 - In all fairness, I was probably the one who started it by referring to some as "tight-assed pricks". But I stand by my words.
It's just that it burns be up when I see so-called "liberals" and "progressives" who are supposed to be in favor of increasing personal freedom trying to control human behavior with spinsterish wags of the finger, like some judgemental right-winger. The right AND the left use this same infuriating tactic. Fuck 'em all, I say.
It's just that it burns be up when I see so-called "liberals" and "progressives" who are supposed to be in favor of increasing personal freedom trying to control human behavior with spinsterish wags of the finger, like some judgemental right-winger. The right AND the left use this same infuriating tactic. Fuck 'em all, I say.
36
@ 34 - Sooo, let's see, whose behavior was worse: Eli, for tearing up (or further tearing up) a teensy, teensy bit of public land, or hartiepie, for not being forgiving towards Eli? Hartiepie, you do acknowledge Eli's pre-emptive apology in an earlier comment, but it sure as hell doesn't sound like you accept it. I'll invoke the old saying "to err is human, to forgive is divine." You chew on that for a while, OK?
37
@34
(taken from UrbanDictionary.com)
Asshole: someone being arrogant, rude, obnoxious, or just a total dickhead....
so, it would seem that YOU are the definition of an Asshole.
NEXT time you bravely call someone out in the anonymous COMMENT FORUM maybe you'll be able to control you childish name-calling. all i did was call you out for being hostile, must have gotten to you. you didn't address anything i really said, you just acted all condescending (Pookie was a nice choice) and went off again about things that the author didn't actually mention, but you assumed.
none of this changes the fact that you're still the self-righteous aggressor on this COMMET FORUM.
come back when you want to be schooled again...
(taken from UrbanDictionary.com)
Asshole: someone being arrogant, rude, obnoxious, or just a total dickhead....
so, it would seem that YOU are the definition of an Asshole.
NEXT time you bravely call someone out in the anonymous COMMENT FORUM maybe you'll be able to control you childish name-calling. all i did was call you out for being hostile, must have gotten to you. you didn't address anything i really said, you just acted all condescending (Pookie was a nice choice) and went off again about things that the author didn't actually mention, but you assumed.
none of this changes the fact that you're still the self-righteous aggressor on this COMMET FORUM.
come back when you want to be schooled again...
38
12: You have me on the noise issue, because I'm in a paddle boat and not a motorized craft. Still, the amount of fossel fuel it takes to bring in the gear and people for a two week trip down the Colorado via the Grand Canyon is large. I'll give you the erosion point, too. Even though we pack out what we bring in, pulling the boats in, pushing them out, camping, and hiking some of the inner canyons does cause some erosion.
River rafting is popular, despite the risks involved, and the sum total of so many people on the river (via private, rafting tours, and large jet boat tours) is having an impact. And, in the Grand Canyon's case the more affluent can take a helicopter in and catch a boat.
You can have the win.
River rafting is popular, despite the risks involved, and the sum total of so many people on the river (via private, rafting tours, and large jet boat tours) is having an impact. And, in the Grand Canyon's case the more affluent can take a helicopter in and catch a boat.
You can have the win.
40
Of course you loved it, small motorized stuff is fun. But that's the source of progressive moral superiority -- sacrificing your chance to have fun on an ATVs to save the planet. Don't worry, though, you confessed and are forgiven.
41
i do all sorts of weird out-of carachter things when i visit idaho. ATV driving, buying cheesy indian art whilst thinking it's actually sort of cool, eating awful mormon pot-luck food based on canned soup and american cheese....
42
I was talking about the wealthy rafters that don't have the time or wish to hike the 9.6 miles from the south rim or 14.2 miles from the north rim, to get to the Colorado if they don't want a two week trip, Will. It's a hot, steep, and painful down hill hike, especially with your gear on your back, and it was 120F/48.84C last time I did it.
43
Will @ 39 - a fine turn there. Sort of like affect and effect, right? Anyway, though to haul that Port-A-Pottie around no matter how rich you are.
45
Wow Kim - Guitarist, River Rafter, Hardcore Hiker and Learned Debunker of Religious Intolerance. You just keep getting better, and reflect well on Oregon. Rock on!
46
ROCK N MUTHAFUCKIN ROLL! The only way that could be more awesome is if you shot a grizzly bear eating a bald eagle with a flaming arrow and theny dynamite fished with The Nuge!
47
Kim:
Erosion caused by launching kayaks or clambering out of a riverbank? Uh, don't worry about it. ATV erosion was, I think, the subject. They tear up some stuff. Of course, their owners would never do that in a place that they weren't supposed to do it in. Oh no.
Erosion caused by launching kayaks or clambering out of a riverbank? Uh, don't worry about it. ATV erosion was, I think, the subject. They tear up some stuff. Of course, their owners would never do that in a place that they weren't supposed to do it in. Oh no.
50
Next time you ride the light rail and want to know what is near each station (for lunch or whatever), SeattleLightRail.net shows all the locations within a block of the stations.
52
As Charlie Sheen once so wisely almost said "Riding an ATV is like kissing your sister. Sure she's a cute little thing with a sweater full of goodies, but it's just wrong."
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