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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Politics / Religion / Books Utah, I Love Thee

Posted by Paul Constant on Wed, Aug 26, 2009 at 11:30 AM

So say you're a Republican Senator from Utah. Say you're facing a tough battle from inside your own party. But you're the establishment candidate, and you have been for a long time now. So what do you do to win back the affection of voters?

You get the Mormon Church to publish a book you wrote about how much you love the Book of Mormon just in time for the primary:

Sen. Bob Bennett knows The Book of Mormon is true, and in a new book he tells others how he came to that conclusion.

The book, published by LDS Church-owned Deseret Book, comes as the Utah Republican faces a tough re-election challenge from within his own party ranks. In fact, Deseret Book's news release was issued the same day the conservative group Club for Growth launched a blistering attack on Bennett's bipartisan health-care-reform bill co-sponsored by Oregon Democratic Sen. Ron Wyden.

The book reportedly "applies four forgery tests" to the Book of Mormon to prove that it is true. I don't know how you prove that a book was written by angels on a magical gold plate and translated using a magical spectacle, but there you go.

This proves what I have always suspected: Utah is the Bizarro version of Daley's Chicago. Instead of voter fraud, the Machine publishes a book to prove your devoutness.

Comments (14) RSS

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Those whacky Mormons!

Posted by Suz on August 26, 2009 at 11:39 AM

Ugh, yet I'm almost considering moving back!

Posted by Idaho Spud on August 26, 2009 at 11:53 AM

For fun, I use my scrying stone to read my golden dinner plates I made from these golden tablets that were lying around in Gas Works Park.

There was some angel saying something when I took them, but I ignored him, since he was obviously crazy.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on August 26, 2009 at 12:12 PM

I think I'd rather read a book published by the LSD church...

Posted by El Cabong on August 26, 2009 at 12:20 PM

Those "forgery tests" are in effect the Mormon version of a catechism. He's just reciting stuff that previous generations of elders have come up with. They are bogus arguments based on a bogus premise.

I do love the irony that the "Club for Growth" is a conservative group. Does that mean the "Club for Beatings" is a peacenik group?

Posted by Sir Vic on August 26, 2009 at 12:29 PM

@5 - no, they're both conservative groups.

Talibangelists are kinky that way, just ask any house of ill repute.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on August 26, 2009 at 12:37 PM

I applied a bullshit test to this book and it is, indeed, bullshit.

Posted by w7ngman

on August 26, 2009 at 1:14 PM

Scratch that, I applied four bullshit tests to this book.

Posted by w7ngman

on August 26, 2009 at 1:19 PM

@2 - Don't move back! Aside from the liquor laws changing, nothing good is happening here. The local news is still just as slanted and church-oriented as ever, the politicians (except for Ralph Becker and former mayor Rocky Anderson) all SUCK, and Matheson is just a pseudo-Democrat. I'm temporarily stuck here in whacko-land and can't WAIT to get out.

Posted by StuckInUtahHell on August 26, 2009 at 1:49 PM