Slog
News & ArtsFriday, August 14, 2009
Politics Still #1!
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Aug 14, 2009 at 9:08 AM
Rick Santorum is back in the news, which has emails like this one back in my inbox...
I read some of your article about Senator Santorum and I can't help but wonder how your mother must be so proud of you, being a faggot..I look forward to the day when I can read that you have AIDS and I will pray for you to die very very slowly..You definately are a scumbag and a lowlife faggot...
Because here's what you get when you Google ol' Rick...
1
So basically you used Google to politically murder this man.
You still rank high among my role models.
You still rank high among my role models.
2
How can Savage love readers secure that the appropriated use of santorum is always the first result when someone searches google for rick santorum?
3
i'm not usually a fan of your juvenile side, dan, but i think what you did with santorum is fuckin' ace.
pure gold.
pure gold.
4
that is awesome that your concoction comes up before wikipedia!!!!! don't listen to them Dan, you are awesome and your mom will always be proud of you!
8
@1:
Right, because prior to Dan's cruel politicide, Mr. Santorum never did anything even the least bit wrong of his own accord.
What a douche nozzle.
Right, because prior to Dan's cruel politicide, Mr. Santorum never did anything even the least bit wrong of his own accord.
What a douche nozzle.
9
Also when you bing Santorum (wow typing that kinnda made me want to puke)
Santorum the mixture is number 2. http://www.bing.com/search?q=Santorum&sr…
Santorum the mixture is number 2. http://www.bing.com/search?q=Santorum&sr…
10
@2. The basis of Google's ranking algorithm is links. The more links there are all over the internet like this one: Rick Santorum, the higher it will rank. Link! Link! Fill the world with links! :)
11
When Obama's middle name became a liability in the Presidential, his follower's rallied and changed their middle names to Hussein. Can we hope Santorum's followers will do something similar? That would be sweet.
14
@7 It depends on whether you search for "Santorum" or "Rick Santorum". But it sure would be great if both Santorum and Rick Santorum took you to http://www.spreadingsantorum.com/
Yay! More links! :)
Yay! More links! :)
17
Dan, it would be really helpful to me personally if you could go ahead and publish the names, email addresses, etc. of the people who send you notes like that.
18
@16 - You're welcome. And just FYI, it also depends on where the links are coming from. If the link itself is on a higher ranking page, it carries more weight than one from a lower ranking page (in general). So, if you put some nice Santorum links on, say, CNN.com, that's more valuable than more links on lower-profile sites.
21
Hahahaha, I can't believe that 5 years later, that basically dead web page is still the #1 (or #2 depending on how you search) link for Santorum.
I can't wait to see him attempt to run for president. What a douchenozzle.
I can't wait to see him attempt to run for president. What a douchenozzle.
23
This remains the most awesome thing ever.
(Although Americablog's minute-by-minute countdown on Rick's career as a US Senator came very, very close. "20 minutes, bitch.")
(Although Americablog's minute-by-minute countdown on Rick's career as a US Senator came very, very close. "20 minutes, bitch.")
24
Hm... what do you mean by "normal people," 13? People who are straight? Or people who don't have anal sex? Because there are gay people out there who don't have anal sex—and are never at risk of santorum—and straight people out there who do.
And santorum is not a given during anal sex. It is an unwelcome occurrence, a mood-spoiler. Which is part of the genius of the word (and I'm crediting Savage Love readers for their genius here, not myself): santorum is as unwelcome in our beds as Santorum.
If you're doing it right, there won't be any frothy fecal matter.
And santorum is not a given during anal sex. It is an unwelcome occurrence, a mood-spoiler. Which is part of the genius of the word (and I'm crediting Savage Love readers for their genius here, not myself): santorum is as unwelcome in our beds as Santorum.
If you're doing it right, there won't be any frothy fecal matter.
25
Just wanted to say, amidst all the Googling, the internet machine is still your friend:
http://www.d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.com/
There's a link for the angry reader who wants to give Dan AIDS.
http://www.d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.com/
There's a link for the angry reader who wants to give Dan AIDS.
26
It seems that googling "santorum" brings up Dan's page first, but googling "rick santorum" brings up:
1) Wiki page for the former Senator
2) Wiki page for the sexual neologism
3) Spreading Santorum
Which kinda makes sense. What we should be aiming for is to get the top Wikipedia result to be the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.
1) Wiki page for the former Senator
2) Wiki page for the sexual neologism
3) Spreading Santorum
Which kinda makes sense. What we should be aiming for is to get the top Wikipedia result to be the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.
27
It's not like Santorum needed any help destroying his political career, but I certainly don't mind Savage giving him a little nudge.
28
I haven't had enough coffee to entertain thoughts of either santorum or Rick Santorum. They are both mood spoilers, and stomach turners, especially Mr. Santorum.
29
@24
I mean people who realize that the rectum is not a sex organ, Dan. Golob could explain it to you, it's biology and anatomy.
I imagine it is an unwelcome,
and totally unexpected(!),
occurance.
I mean, you stick something in someone's ass and the last think you expect to come out is shit- you know?!
I mean people who realize that the rectum is not a sex organ, Dan. Golob could explain it to you, it's biology and anatomy.
I imagine it is an unwelcome,
and totally unexpected(!),
occurance.
I mean, you stick something in someone's ass and the last think you expect to come out is shit- you know?!
31
If you're doing it right, there won't be any frothy fecal matter.
This is equally true of politics. If you're getting Santorum, something is wrong.
32
I'm not sure whether to laugh or headdesk at this assmonkey who thinks Gay = AIDS. Same kind of idiot who assumes Graham Chapman died of AIDS just because he was gay (it was cancer, people!).
If there's any poetic justice in this world, this twerp will get some horrible venereal disease from whichever opposite-gendered skank he/she is banging without protection because Mommy and Daddy went for Abstinence education.
If there's any poetic justice in this world, this twerp will get some horrible venereal disease from whichever opposite-gendered skank he/she is banging without protection because Mommy and Daddy went for Abstinence education.
33
32 - I suspect it is highly likely that this twerp has already contracted a horrible venereal disease, they've simply rationalised to themselves that this is fine and in no way hypocritical because it was acquired during 'normal' straight sex - with whichever unfortunate creature they managed to ensnare into their lair with their charitable personality and witty repartee.
34
@29:
Every human orifice is a "sex organ"; some are also reproductive organs, but that's another matter entirely.
Every human orifice is a "sex organ"; some are also reproductive organs, but that's another matter entirely.
35
@ 29 - Breasts aren't sex organs either. Neither is the mouth, for that matter...
But I bet you utilise both of those when YOU'RE doing it, huh?
Exercise in Logic: FAIL.
But I bet you utilise both of those when YOU'RE doing it, huh?
Exercise in Logic: FAIL.
41
Damn, 40. If you don't think an ear is a sex organ you're really doing it wrong.
[Hint: if you get away from the idea that your dick is the only thing worth stimulating, you'll get laid more]
[Hint: if you get away from the idea that your dick is the only thing worth stimulating, you'll get laid more]
43
Dan, do people like that (emailer) scare you? Have you been visited by them in-person? I think her/his degree of vitriol is dangerous, and I hope you keep yourself safe.
44
31 for the epic win, in my book.
By the way, the only actual "sex" organ is between your ears. There are other parts of the body, including reproductive organs, that can be utilized in sex, but the only one that matters is grey.
By the way, the only actual "sex" organ is between your ears. There are other parts of the body, including reproductive organs, that can be utilized in sex, but the only one that matters is grey.
47
I imagine that Dan gets as many emails damning him to hell for being the devil as he does ones that praise him for being the messiah. Like most things, the truth is somewhere in between.
49
The author of that email was talking to him/herself. That kind of vitriol originates in dissatisfaction in oneself.
50
@44 beat me to it, but I'll quote RAW anyway "The largest sex organ is the brain."
And some folks obviously never use theirs, more's the pity.
And some folks obviously never use theirs, more's the pity.
53
Dan damages a healthy dialogue. You don't agree with Santorum? Then say so. What's the point of disparaging him. Coward.
55
I like when people wish you death and suffering and tell you about their seething hate for you because you aren't nice enough. It's cute.
56
I LOVE what Dan created with this creep's name. In fact, I think it's one of Dan's finest moments. You did good, Dan! Sorry you have to get emails like that.
57
For real, when I'm losing faith in humanity (pretty much a daily event), I can just think of this magnificent little campaign of Dan's and feel like maybe there's hope for us still.
Advertisement
Most Commented on Slog
-
Hating People Doesn't Make Them Thinner by Jen Graves
-
Los Angeles Gay Bar Bans Bachelorette Parties Until Marriage Equality Is Attained by David Schmader
-
Fill in the Blank by Grant Brissey
-
This Reminds Me of the Great Calculator Scare of the Late '70s/Early '80s by David Schmader
-
Idiot Tries to Defend Bigoted Anti-Gay-Marriage Preacher on Anderson Cooper by Paul Constant
-
Six Moms with Too Much Time on Their Hands and a Shitty Website Decide to Fight Gay Superheroes by Paul Constant
-
Why Mayor McGinn's Wife Canceled Her Family's Seattle Times Subscription by Eli Sanders
-
What the Hell Is Wrong With Seattle's Pride Parade? by Dominic Holden
-
The Saturday Morning News by Unpaid Intern
-
NYC Man Ticketed for Not Riding in the Bike Lane by Jonathan Golob
RSS
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (57) RSS