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News & ArtsFriday, August 14, 2009
Drugs Anal Beer Bongs
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Aug 14, 2009 at 4:50 PM
Vodka-soaked tampons, highlighter-pen pot pipes, caffeine as the new gateway drug—please enjoy this hugely entertaining example of local-news-fear-mongering.
UPDATE: There are two kinds of kids out there: the ones who already knew about sticking vodka-infused tampons up their butts, and the ones who didn't know about it until they watched this...
Think of the children!
1
Is there ANYTHING that a half-awake stoner can't turn into a pot pipe? This wasn't news 30 years ago.
3
I'm not buying the vodka tampons. They're hard enough to insert dry...try a floppy, wet one against a tight sphincter.
No way.
No way.
7
You could totally soak the tampon with vodka while it's still in the applicator, and then insert it into vag/anus. That would be easier than cramming a floppy, wet one in there.
8
This seems horrible, but I don't understand how when one does this, the vodka "goes directly into the bloodstream"--especially up the butt. It all sounds kind of "South Park"-y. (And yes, I saw that episode.)
10
If putting alcohol up my butt is ever preferable to a good martini (albeit, it would be gin, not vodka) taken orally, kill me.
19
Wouldn't a tampon dipped in vodka (or any liquid) expand and thus render it unstuffable? Even if you did it in the plastic applicator it would expand till it jammed the applicator. I have a feeling this is an urban legend and any teenagers who get their hands on vodka will be drinking it.
20
Well, this seems the obvious next step for kids to take. When everything around them encourages them to mess with orifices that are made for the expulsion of bodily waste. Are there really people out there who are surprised by this? When engaging in acts like sodomy and all the diseases that are brought because of it are as terrible as this is. Kids (and some adults) are just changing one foreign object for another. If we want to stop this then we as adults need to have a serious discussion with them about what their reproductive organs are really made for, and what diseases are brought about when they mess with orifices like the anus, be it when they engage in sodomy or inserting alcohol in their anal area.
21
On the bright side, dumb frat boys are learning how to insert things into their own butts. Which opens up a new opportunity for them to earn supplementary income in the world of video.
22
actually in precolumbian mexico it was common practice that when you could not lodge anymore pulque (a low level alcoholic bevrage from agave) in your stomach you would turn to the other side to get an alcoholic enema sometimes eaven mixed with mushrooms or peyote or other psicotropics
anyway eaven if low level alcoholic drinks might need this to get really pissing drunk vodka is strong enough to take orally and get you as stupid as you want to get without having to resort to enemas
but a beer enema might deserve a try
(I wonder if ill have drunk breath after?)
and a floppy vodka soaked tampon that hardly seems credible
anyway eaven if low level alcoholic drinks might need this to get really pissing drunk vodka is strong enough to take orally and get you as stupid as you want to get without having to resort to enemas
but a beer enema might deserve a try
(I wonder if ill have drunk breath after?)
and a floppy vodka soaked tampon that hardly seems credible
23
You know, athletes (especially football players) have for years been anally administering Red Bull immediately before big games thanks to a rumor that it would offer a more extreme and immediate energizing effect. They call such a maneuver a 'china shop.'
24
I've seen the beer enema's in a couple of gay porns come to think of it. And I think that "doctor" was the one who was getting it.
25
@20: So... vaginas are for expelling bodily waste? I think you're being a little hard on your kids there.
26
@20 Indeed. And those filthy, urine-expelling penises shouldn't be put anywhere near a sexual organ.
27
I am loving the juxtaposition of Loveschild's icon and the phrase 'inserting alcohol in their anal area'.
28
The guy in the white jacket is totally jonsin' to try out both of these techniques. Freeze-frame at 0:50 and 1:07 to see what I mean.
29
So because Steve-O did it, we're all gonna do it?
@9, if tampons may destroy your vagina, pads destroy your dignity.
@9, if tampons may destroy your vagina, pads destroy your dignity.
30
Whatever happened to the good old days? When I was growing up, we stuck to "huffing," and we all turned out just fine! Isn't that good enough for these snot-nosed kids today?
33
I totally call shenanigans on the vodka-tampon. It sounds like those "sex act jelly bracelets" all over again.
35
I like to think I have a pretty good idea of what you can and can't take up yer butt, and I don't see how the anal beer bong "works", that is, can you get enough beer into yer butt to get as drunk as you would drinking it. A little would get in, but it wouldn't "pour" in, like an...oral beer bong (Lord, do we now have to make that distinction?). Yer butt doesn't suck it in, so there would have to be some pressure forcing it in. Cato@24 called it right, it's not a beer bong, but a beer enema.
37
@8 & 35: both the vagina and the colon (which your anus leads to) are lined with membranes which will allow the alcohol to move directly into the bloodstream. It's quicker than via the throat/stomach. This is why putting high alcohol liquids (such as vodka) in yer butt can make you much drunker much quicker. The problem, as the lovely MDs point out, is that you can't control the dosage and are more likely to get alcohol poisioning.
38
Loveschild..."sodomy" has been with us humans since, oh, biblical times. Just think about it, before TV, video games, and all the other tiem-wasters we have, humans had A LOT of time on their hands to experiment with "sensations", such as putting things up our butts (or, as you prefer, "mess with orifices". Twenty-first century folks did not invent condoms or sex toys, nor were they the first to spread diseases that way (syphillus came from human/animal interactions, probably prior to recorded history....) Didja ever stop to wonder why our anus's have so many sensory receptors around them???? (I guess not, you're too busy trying to be righteous (and squeamish)).
40
Loveschild is also too dumb to realize that every bodily orifice expells waste in some form or another.
41
it's hard to imagine women not getting monster-truck yeast infections after nuking their vaginal flora with pure vodka - as such i have real doubts that this is a trend.
42
@ 32 you can begin your quest here
Bernal Diaz del Castillo relates, "I wish to note only one here which we found in the province of Pánuco; they make an injection by the anus with some (hollow) canes and distend the intestines with wine, and this is done among them in the same way as among us an enema is applied…" and the El Conquistador Anonimo writes, "…bored drinking wine with their mouths, lie down and, extending their legs, have the wine poured into their anus through a tube until the body is full."
and there is much more information though not much on the net
maybe a good archeology website or something
it´s just something i learn´t and thought it was curious and hey it was good for something! yay for dispersed knowledge and weird facts in my head
Bernal Diaz del Castillo relates, "I wish to note only one here which we found in the province of Pánuco; they make an injection by the anus with some (hollow) canes and distend the intestines with wine, and this is done among them in the same way as among us an enema is applied…" and the El Conquistador Anonimo writes, "…bored drinking wine with their mouths, lie down and, extending their legs, have the wine poured into their anus through a tube until the body is full."
and there is much more information though not much on the net
maybe a good archeology website or something
it´s just something i learn´t and thought it was curious and hey it was good for something! yay for dispersed knowledge and weird facts in my head
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