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Monday, August 10, 2009

Teh Internets Introducing the New NIKE GUN SAFE!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Aug 10, 2009 at 12:06 PM

Are you sick of trying to remember complicated lock combinations, or twisting cumbersome handles to get quick access to your loaded revolver? Are you tired of your idiot child NOT knowing where the bathroom is? Then by all means, store your weapons in the new Nike Gun Safe. Now getting your gun out of the top of your closet is easier than ever—so easy in fact, even your idiot child can do it! (That is, if she doesn't accidentally pee on it first, because she's too stupid to find the bathroom! HA! HAHAHAHAHA!!) Order now and also receive a horrifying clown.

Hat tips to Everything is Terrible!

Comments (9) RSS

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Aren't you supposed to store ammo and guns in separate Nike gun safes?

Posted by kinaidos on August 10, 2009 at 12:21 PM

Remove the firing pin like they did in Shooter.

Now that's safe!

Posted by Will in Seattle

on August 10, 2009 at 12:26 PM

I've always thought that the "for protection" argument was a weird one when you have kids in the house. I mean, if you're supposed to keep the gun in the ammo in separate, locked safes (so kids can't get access to them), how much time will it take you to get the ammo, get the gun, and then load the gun? Probably too much time to actually be of any use (in the already unlikely scenario where someone breaks in to your house while you're home).

Posted by Julie in Eugene on August 10, 2009 at 12:28 PM

One less annoying kid in the world. Very happy ending.

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on August 10, 2009 at 12:38 PM

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmm

Posted by the UKE on August 10, 2009 at 12:48 PM

Or you could teach kids that guns aren't toys. That guns should never be pointed at anything you're not going to shoot. And if you find a gun anywhere, get an adult.

So many tragedies could be avoided if people taught their kids about basic firearms safety. It's no more complicated than teaching them to be safe around water. If you don't, the message they're going to get is from movies and tv--where there are no accidents and only the bad guys get hurt.

Posted by Westside forever on August 10, 2009 at 12:56 PM