Slog
News & ArtsThursday, July 30, 2009
Chow / ??!! / Drugs The Urban Hunt: Drug Dealer Edition
Posted by Brendan Kiley on Thu, Jul 30, 2009 at 4:10 PM
This story about Kinnear Park is marvelous:
... late last year, [Kinnear Park] became the site of some pretty hefty drug dealing, which police attributed to Honduran gangs moving in from Belltown. That led to tension between the dealers and their clients, which would have been normal (bad drugs, money, violence), had it not been for the squirrels.As police moved in to get the situation under control, Officer Burns, who patrols the area, started getting complaints from druggies—not just about bad drugs, but about what the dealers were doing to the squirrels.
According to Burns, who is known as the "mayor of Kinnear Park," his informants told him the dealers "eat the squirrels and we don't like that. The squirrels are our friends."
Turns out the dealers set traps in the hillside, and after a hard day's work of selling drugs, collected their bonus meal of fresh squirrel, Burns said.
If these are the same Honduran dealers busted out of Belltown earlier this year, they were selling crack—possibly the nastiest, most vicious drug out there.
Apparently, urban hunting is more distasteful than turning people into zombies.
1
I think meth has eclipsed crack in the category for most nasty and vicious drug out there.
More to the point why the hell are drug dealers eating squirrels? They should really increase their prices if they are having to trap their own meat.
More to the point why the hell are drug dealers eating squirrels? They should really increase their prices if they are having to trap their own meat.
2
The Hondurans were the "want fries with that?" level workers here. They probably wired all their pay home as remittances to feed their families. Or else, as sometimes happens, the wholesalers kidnapped their families at home first and made them pay ransom through their sales labor, owing their souls to the company store.
5
Can rabies be acquired through ingestion of tainted meat?
The use of the phrase "turning people into zombies" just kind of got me wondering.
Rabid immigrant drug-dealers might make a good stand-in for actual zombies.
The use of the phrase "turning people into zombies" just kind of got me wondering.
Rabid immigrant drug-dealers might make a good stand-in for actual zombies.
6
Re: #5:
Looked it up. Plausible, but not likely. More likely to get rabies just by getting bit.
There goes that movie idea.
Looked it up. Plausible, but not likely. More likely to get rabies just by getting bit.
There goes that movie idea.
8
but in all honesty, can they kill the crows instead? I actually just bought a BB Gun for the sole purpose of killing those fuckers if they ever dare attack me again.
9
@4: Only in the 1974 and 1931 editions. The 2000 edition, sadly, doesn't include a recipe for squirrel, scrapple, or even head cheese. *shaking head* The Joy, alas, goes downhill with every new iteration.
10
@8: LOL, I seriously considered buying a BB gun after this crow kept waking me up at 5am with it's horrid cawing, and then attacking me and my dog when I was outside the house. What a little fucker!
Then it left. No idea what it's purpose was, or where it went.
Then it left. No idea what it's purpose was, or where it went.
11
@10: They become aggressive when defending their brood. Around late spring/early summer when the young are first venturing outside the nest the parents can be very territorial, defending against perceived predators with dive-bombing attacks and loud cawing.
12
Perhaps because the users had a choice about their situation, but the squirrels did not?
Crack does nasty things to the body and mind and it's a habit that's hard to break, but it can be done and every use is a choice. Being dead and roasted is a lot harder to get over, especially if you hadn't first put an add up on Craigslist looking for a cannibal.
Crack does nasty things to the body and mind and it's a habit that's hard to break, but it can be done and every use is a choice. Being dead and roasted is a lot harder to get over, especially if you hadn't first put an add up on Craigslist looking for a cannibal.
13
Eating squirrels isn't my cup of tea, but it makes a lot more sense to me than making "friends" with them. Horrid little disease-carrying garden-decimating vermin.
To the people complaining about crows: my recommendation would be to not fuck with a species that can recognize human faces. They'll stop scolding you if you feed them some unsalted peanuts.
To the people complaining about crows: my recommendation would be to not fuck with a species that can recognize human faces. They'll stop scolding you if you feed them some unsalted peanuts.
16
Did it not occur to SPD that squirrels typically disappear in the winter, when they hibernate? Great diversion tactic, winos! Keep up the good work!
Advertisement
Most Commented on Slog
-
Hating People Doesn't Make Them Thinner by Jen Graves
-
Los Angeles Gay Bar Bans Bachelorette Parties Until Marriage Equality Is Attained by David Schmader
-
Fill in the Blank by Grant Brissey
-
This Reminds Me of the Great Calculator Scare of the Late '70s/Early '80s by David Schmader
-
Idiot Tries to Defend Bigoted Anti-Gay-Marriage Preacher on Anderson Cooper by Paul Constant
-
Six Moms with Too Much Time on Their Hands and a Shitty Website Decide to Fight Gay Superheroes by Paul Constant
-
Why Mayor McGinn's Wife Canceled Her Family's Seattle Times Subscription by Eli Sanders
-
What the Hell Is Wrong With Seattle's Pride Parade? by Dominic Holden
-
The Saturday Morning News by Unpaid Intern
-
NYC Man Ticketed for Not Riding in the Bike Lane by Jonathan Golob
RSS
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (16) RSS