a037/1248715395-wholefivefeet.jpgIf it is your dream to spend a weekend in a hotel in Seatac with a bunch of aspiring authors, the Pacific Northwest Writer's Conference is the event for you. It begins today. Keynote speaker Terry Brooks speaks on July 31st, and the conference runs through Aug 2.

At Seattle Mystery Bookshop, Karin Slaughter reads from Undone, in which a hospital worker discovers a woman who has obviously been tortured. Lisa Gardner is signing at the same time as Slaughter. The copywriter who is promoting this reading for her mystery, called The Neighbor, suggests that "The disappearance of a wife isn't that odd." I feel as though we should investigate this copywriter's recent past with a fine-tooth comb.

There will be a Suggests box popping up soon about the Brandon Scott Gorrell and Matthew Simmons reading. I told you to read Simmons's novella A Jello Horse a couple months ago, but did you listen? No! Maybe you will read it tonight, after you attend this reading at lovely new bookstore Pilot Books, in which Simmons and Gorrell scribble fortunes and tuck them into fortune cookies just for you.

Clyde Ford reads at Third Place Books today. Whiskey Gulf is a mystery novel and not a vacation resort for hobos.

Elliott Bay Book Company hosts two authors tonight. I have nothing to say about James Fuerst, who is the author of Huge, a novel about a sixth grader who loves Philip Marlowe and then has to solve a mystery. I haven't read it. Christopher Beha read all 51 volumes of the Harvard Classics and wrote about it in The Whole Five Feet: What the Great Books Taught Me About Life, Death, and Pretty Much Everything Else. I did read this book and it was a total piece of fucking shit. I thought about reviewing it, but I didn't want to give it the column inches because there are too many good books to write about. But since we're online, I'll say this much: This is an awful book. Beha brings nothing to the classics, and his memoir is vapid and pointless. It's the worst book I've read in a while. You should avoid it.

And Tom Hartmann reads at Town Hall today. Threshold: The Crisis of Western Culture is another book that is eager to explain how fucked we all are. This is starting to seem like the 21st century equivalent of walking around with a "The End is Nigh" sign.

The full readings calendar, including the next week or so, is here. And if you're planning on staying in and you're looking for personalized book recommendations, feel free to tell me the books you like and ask me what to read next over at Questionland.