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Thursday, July 30, 2009

I Wish It Was For You Can't Do That on Television: The Movie

Posted by on Thu, Jul 30, 2009 at 11:44 AM

cf5b/1248979457-goo.jpg

I received this small canister of green goo as a promotion for some movie. I really want to pour it in my hand. I also really don't want to pour it in my hand.

It has no odor.

 

Comments (27) RSS

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no marketable skills 1
Given the YCDTOT reference, shouldn't your poll have an "I Don't Know" option?
Posted by no marketable skills on July 30, 2009 at 11:49 AM
Lindy West 2
I thought about it, and then I decided against it for some reason, and I cannot remember what the reason was. Clearly I was wrong. You know what would have been funnier?

Yes
No
I don't know
Water

Thanks for workshopping this joke with me.
Posted by Lindy West on July 30, 2009 at 11:53 AM
spoiler alert 3
do it. you already know what it's like to NOT do it, but you'll never know what it's like to do it unless you do it.
Posted by spoiler alert on July 30, 2009 at 11:53 AM
amazonmidwife 4
Wear a glove. That stuff, or something that looked a lot like it, gave me a rash when I was a kid.
Posted by amazonmidwife http://amazonmidwife.linuxcolumbus.com on July 30, 2009 at 11:56 AM
5
i say you eat it.
Posted by Steven on July 30, 2009 at 11:58 AM
The Amazing Jim 6
Do it, you pussy!
Posted by The Amazing Jim http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=100000076496291&ref=profile on July 30, 2009 at 12:10 PM
Timmytee 7
Lindy, the people who tell you to pour that stuff on your hands ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS--DON'T DO IT! (Also, don't put in your capsac!) Best wishes.
Posted by Timmytee on July 30, 2009 at 12:11 PM
FreudianShrimp 8
WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! Destroy it before it destroys you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g79_ljVC5…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKESo2ofE…
Posted by FreudianShrimp on July 30, 2009 at 12:12 PM
Hernandez 9
Pour it on a co-worker. Duh.
Posted by Hernandez http://hernandezlist.blogspot.com on July 30, 2009 at 12:17 PM
David Schmader 10
Don't you have an intern?
Posted by David Schmader on July 30, 2009 at 12:23 PM
Sben 11
Alternate poll option: I wouldn't do it, but you totally should.
Posted by Sben on July 30, 2009 at 12:26 PM
12
Lindy West would be a good writer if she wasn't always trying to come accoss child-like. It's cloying and reaks of trying-to-hard to be adorable
Posted by joshua f on July 30, 2009 at 12:28 PM
13
i saw the trailer for that film before harry potter and when they discover that rock thing quite a few people started laughing, all realizing that they'd found gay pride power. we weren't sure what the message was supposed to be, but it reminded me of that scene in Big Daddy where the kid has a gay pride pin on for a few shots. i think it's when Adam Sandler is still allowing him to dress however he wants.
Posted by soco on July 30, 2009 at 12:29 PM
Grrr 14
The guy that played Barth (and a few of the other grownups) passed away not too long ago.
Posted by Grrr on July 30, 2009 at 12:47 PM
Dougsf 15
The studio was a little quick to rebrand their old Ghostbusters schwag—the third film is just getting off the ground. Or maybe it's what you think it is, just the "opposites".
Posted by Dougsf on July 30, 2009 at 12:48 PM
Fnarf 16
Make your intern put it in his or her pants and write an item about it.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on July 30, 2009 at 12:49 PM
Reverse Polarity 17
Go for it.

If it harms you in any way, you can sue for a bazzillion dollars.

Fear of such lawsuits means that there is a very low likelihood of this stuff being harmful, regardless of how radioactive it looks.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on July 30, 2009 at 12:51 PM
Will in Seattle 18
MOOOOSE!
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on July 30, 2009 at 12:54 PM
19
@2 does that mean that you already disposed of it?!?!

First thing I would have done, checked for warning label ... no warning label? Sweet! In goes my hand!
Posted by Take it all in on July 30, 2009 at 12:59 PM
20
@19 ... umm, no, no that is not necessarily what your comment meant ... goodness did I read that all wrong ...
Posted by Take it all in on July 30, 2009 at 1:00 PM
21
That's clearly re-purposed TMNT Ooze™.
Posted by Henry on July 30, 2009 at 1:19 PM
Bruce Garrett 22
Poke a stick into it and see if it crawls up it and onto your hand...
Posted by Bruce Garrett http://brucegarrett.com/brucelog on July 30, 2009 at 1:19 PM
smade 23
Surely it's just flavored Astroglide.
Posted by smade on July 30, 2009 at 1:30 PM
TVDinner 24
It might be mint jello, in which case I'd recommend mixing it with peace schnapps and tiny little marshmallows.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on July 30, 2009 at 1:49 PM
blank12357 25
Oh God I'm so turned on right now. Lindy, put it in your hand pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

Now smack me.
Posted by blank12357 on July 30, 2009 at 2:34 PM
Mittens Schrodinger 26
Gawd I'd love a shot of peace schnapps right now!
Posted by Mittens Schrodinger on July 30, 2009 at 2:40 PM
beelzebufo 27
put a little bit near your nose and pretend to sneeze extravagantly near one of your co-workers.
Posted by beelzebufo on July 30, 2009 at 5:43 PM

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