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Friday, July 10, 2009

??!! / Drugs / Film Three Apples High!

Posted by Lindy West on Fri, Jul 10, 2009 at 3:47 PM

That's what you'll have to be to enjoy the forthcoming live-action Smurfs movie (high—do you get it!?).

Live-action Smurfs movie.

Live-action Smurfs movie.
Live-action Smurfs movie.
Live-action Smurfs movie.
Live-action Smurfs movie.
Live-action Smurfs movie.
Live-action Smurfs movie.
Live-action Smurfs movie.
Live-action Smurfs movie.
Live-action Smurfs movie.
Live.
Action.
Smurfs.
Movie.

Smurfs.
Smurfs alive.
In a movie.
Smurfs.

I'd been hoping this whole Smurf-movie thing was a hoax, but apparently it's going to be directed by the guy who directed Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Also, it's a trilogy.

Just wanted to let you know. In case you didn't.

Comments (21) RSS

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Oh, Jesus fuck. This is going to be spectacularly terrible. That said, I will probably see it. On drugs. Lots and lots and lots of drugs.

Posted by Hernandez

on July 10, 2009 at 3:53 PM

This is terrible.

Everyone knows a live SNORKS movie would sell so much more.

Posted by Arsenic7 on July 10, 2009 at 3:55 PM

I did not know that.

The Smurfs threatened to sue me once. I'm not kidding. I put them in a comic strip -- an obviously satirical, one-shot comic strip -- and then I got a scary letter from their big law firm with like 30 global offices on its letterhead. The language was polite, but the subtext was, "THE SMURFS WILL DESTROY YOU."

So, yes, I want to see these movies.

Posted by Superfrankenstein

on July 10, 2009 at 3:57 PM

I would've gone to see an animated Smurfs movie, probably, if only out of nostalgia for those long-gone Saturday mornings.

Please tell me Jim Carrey isn't in it.

Posted by leek on July 10, 2009 at 4:05 PM

How could anything with John Lithgow and Julia Sweeney be bad? If they're really in it, I am totally there.

I don't think this is the first attempt at live-action Smurfs, though: http://fleshbot.com/349808/flesh-flicks-…

Posted by Levislade

on July 10, 2009 at 4:14 PM

holy fuck on a poop, this sounds awfully awesome.

Posted by TheFang on July 10, 2009 at 4:16 PM

Clearly Julia Sweeney is making this movie to prove once and for all that there is no God.

Posted by HellOnMeals on July 10, 2009 at 4:22 PM

John Lithgow as Gargamel is kinda genius, really.

Posted by Dougsf on July 10, 2009 at 4:26 PM

"it's a trilogy."

Bet it's not, after the first one comes out and hits the wall.

Posted by Garglerel on July 10, 2009 at 4:27 PM

heres slog in Smurfspeak:
http://websmurfer.devnull.net/cgi-bin/tr…

some work pretty Smurftastic, others not so Smurf.

Posted by pissy mcslogbot on July 10, 2009 at 4:31 PM

I can't smurfing believe it. When I first smurfed about this project, me and my smurf-buddy were smurfing each other's smurfs when my roommate, who was spastically smurfing his smurf while watching us, randomly smurfed it out. I about spat the smurf I was smurf-balling onto her greasy smurfs! This news is very, very smurf. For realz.

Posted by .Ahnon. on July 10, 2009 at 4:33 PM

I'm looking forward to the smurfy fourth movie in the trilogy, the one with the blue ducks.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on July 10, 2009 at 4:35 PM

and has anyone ever tried Facebook in Pirate talk? trippy.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on July 10, 2009 at 5:02 PM

Are you drunk, Will? It's not even 6 yet.

Posted by laterite on July 10, 2009 at 5:51 PM

Live action smurf trilogy.

Is like all the worst ideas in history coming together and germinating to make a colossal fireball of a catastrophy.

I hope it will be in 3-D!

Posted by Urgutha Forka on July 10, 2009 at 6:45 PM

You know, I don't think I could possibly think of a worse idea for a movie.

Posted by Reverse Polarity on July 10, 2009 at 7:28 PM

You mean to tell me that a live-action smurf-themed film hasn't already been featured at Hump?

Posted by donaldtaylorii

on July 10, 2009 at 9:56 PM

Well, honestly, could it be worse than a 3-D action film about a group of motherfucking Guinea pigs that are government spies and whatfuckingnot? I still wonder who was smoking what when that idea was presented in a boardroom somewhere.

Posted by bucket on July 10, 2009 at 10:14 PM

SNL did a Smurf skit. I can't find it anywhere. I'm sorta relieved.

Posted by yucca flower on July 10, 2009 at 10:55 PM

This movie is going to fucking blow. It'll make Super Mario Brothers look like Amelie.

Posted by Gomez

on July 11, 2009 at 12:42 PM

I hope it's fast paced with lots of CGI, and Smurfette gets in a slow-motion Matrix style fight, and dodges bullets. and Brainy gets hit in the head over and over because I hate smart people. Smart people are so dumb. And I hope that every five seconds there is a pop culture reference because things that I recognize from other places are funny.

Posted by Toasterhedgehog on July 12, 2009 at 8:04 AM