Slog

News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

Friday, July 10, 2009

The Reason...

Posted by Charles Mudede on Fri, Jul 10, 2009 at 7:31 PM

...why I hate crows:

Share via

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Newsvine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • del.icio.us
  • Email
 

Comments (58) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
You hate crows...because they're smart?
Posted by JenziWashington on July 10, 2009 at 7:44 PM
2
Charles I have known you are my exact opposite ever since you posted that entry ripping on Full Metal Jacket.

This video is why I love crows.
Posted by Dave M on July 10, 2009 at 7:51 PM
3
Crows are good! They keep the pigeons away and tear a fast food bag and contents to shreds when some litterbug throws it out their car window.
Posted by chucksaintpaul on July 10, 2009 at 8:04 PM
4
Do you also hate the Woodpecker Finch, the most interesting of Darwin's Galapagos finches? Much of its little bird life is devoted to finding and using tools to access food.
Posted by alight on July 10, 2009 at 8:16 PM
5
I love crows and ravens and magpies; such wonderful, misunderstood creatures. And they are absolutely beautiful too.
Posted by BlackbirdsRule on July 10, 2009 at 8:16 PM
danhowes 6
If I don't find a job soon, I'm going to start training attack crows and then sell them to celebrities to keep the paps away.
Posted by danhowes http://danhowescinephile.blogspot.com on July 10, 2009 at 8:17 PM
Crazy Cat Guy's Husband 7
In addition to using tools, crows can recognize and remember a threatening human face.

You might wish to disguise your antipathy by adopting a friendly stance, perhaps greeting a crow with a jaunty "hello, Crow!" as I do.

You have been warned.
Posted by Crazy Cat Guy's Husband on July 10, 2009 at 8:19 PM
elenchos 8
It's true; I've read Marzluff's book. Crows scare the crap out of me. Their population has been expanding along with suburbanization, at the expense of pigeons and ravens and whatever. The future we're building is the perfect crow habitat.

I don't think hating them is safe. They'll get you. Instead, fear them, and perhaps worship them as our early ancestors did.
Posted by elenchos on July 10, 2009 at 8:23 PM
TVDinner 9
@6: That sounds like a promising idea. You could be a bazillionaire!
Posted by TVDinner http:// on July 10, 2009 at 8:23 PM
10
That crow is smarter than a lot of people I know.
Posted by Jack Sprat on July 10, 2009 at 8:25 PM
11
Is it that you hate crows because they show some basic intelligence that makes you feel threatened and less special as a human?

Or did they just terrorize you as a small child by dropping rocks on you from great heights?
Posted by frame on July 10, 2009 at 8:33 PM
eclexia 12
Because you're a tool?
Posted by eclexia on July 10, 2009 at 8:53 PM
playswithknives 13
The Steller's jays keep the crows out of my yard.
Posted by playswithknives on July 10, 2009 at 8:54 PM
Anthony Hecht 14
Charles, don't forget that crows can be trained to clean up cities and/or gather money.

http://www.ted.com/talks/joshua_klein_on…
Posted by Anthony Hecht on July 10, 2009 at 9:06 PM
15
Just someone please keep them away from the dolphins or we are screwed. If things get bad we could make some deal, where humans keep the earth, dolphins get the sea and crows get the sky.
Posted by Jude Fawley on July 10, 2009 at 9:42 PM
Fnarf 16
I for one welcome our new crow overlords.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on July 10, 2009 at 9:52 PM
17
Crow, whiskey sour. I said whiskey sour, crow! Wait, where is my manservant? Why are you locking the door? Put that down, crow. I said put down that knife! Crow! CROOOOOW!!!
Posted by .Ahnon. on July 10, 2009 at 10:07 PM
18
"All your basket of fry are belong to us."

http://depts.washington.edu/uwcrows
Posted by uwcrows on July 10, 2009 at 10:50 PM
19
Okay, lemme guess... you hate crows 'cuz most black people would give up before they could figure out the same problem, and blame their failure on the white man? Or is this some race-baiting post, to see who would make the first racist comment? Well, here you go, Chuckles. One, and two.
Posted by Foie gras posts generate more comments on July 10, 2009 at 11:50 PM
20
Riding my bike to work one early morning, I came across a strange scene: a crow, lying dead on its back in the middle of the road. Three or four other crows, perched at various places around their dead comrade, cawing and hopping from foot to foot. One other crow, slowly dragging the corpse from the road.

What do you think: were the crows mourning their dead friend and trying to pull its dead body to a more respectful place, or were they simply interested in cannibalism?

Unfortunately, I was not able to determine the truth because the next day, the dead crow was crushed flat into the pavement.
Posted by emor on July 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
leek 21
Wow. Odd coincidence to come home to this post. I was in lower Queen Anne tonight and right in front of me a crow dropped like a stone out of a tree onto its back. As we stood there unsure of what was going on, it flapped a little, wriggled a little, was moving for a few minutes, then (apparently) was dead.

I mean, I guess birds and city wildlife die pretty consistently. But wham! right there in front of me. Crow flu!

Posted by leek on July 11, 2009 at 12:22 AM
very bad homo 22
They're pure evil. I prefer my birds dumb.
Posted by very bad homo on July 11, 2009 at 12:22 AM
blackhook 23
In the woods high above Aurora Ave on east Queen Anne, I've seen crows gather en masse, by the thousands ...it is an impressive & quite spooky sight - and sound.

I always wonder what they are doing. Could they be plotting our downfall?
Posted by blackhook on July 11, 2009 at 2:32 AM
24
I like smart animals. Makes me feel like our species is less lonely.
Posted by Beguine on July 11, 2009 at 4:11 AM
25
Careful what you say.

They could be listening.
Posted by adequately suspicious on July 11, 2009 at 4:38 AM
26
I feed the birds on a regular basis. Crows don't chase away the pigeons. They follow them to see what they're eating. I have seen crows chasing hawks and eagles. Birds are really such beautiful creatures. They are stuck in an environment that people created in just the last few thousand years and have adapted remarkably well. One day I was feeding the birds and a murder of crows appeared. They sat around me on the power lines while a couple of them seemed to be helping an injured crow towards me. He was badly hurt and in pain, but they watched as I tried to give him some bread.
In the end he was too afraid of me and just managed to make it onto a nearby roof. If you watched birds as closely as I have you would have a great deal more respect for them. Google the word Gansus and learn more about the astounding history of these most amazing animals.
Posted by Vince on July 11, 2009 at 5:35 AM
Fistique 27
Surely seagulls (aka shithawks) are more deserving of hate than pretty, devious crows.
Posted by Fistique on July 11, 2009 at 7:23 AM
28
#24: I always wondered why I liked crows so much. You just made me realise why. Thanks!
Posted by Stowe on July 11, 2009 at 7:25 AM
29
hey peeps who are seeing crows drop dead - might want to report it to the CDC or USFW or something. that might be a sign that West Nile Virus is hitting hard. poor crows.
Posted by onion on July 11, 2009 at 7:46 AM
30
20 - wow that is cool. Scrub jays do the same thing. They gather round a dead jay and mob it and make a big ruckus. It isn't for cannibalism though. There is a grad student at UC Davis who is trying to figure out what it is for.
I wonder if this mobbing-the-dead behavior is documented in crows.
Posted by onion on July 11, 2009 at 7:48 AM
31
My favorite smart crow story: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=…

Using our technologies!
Posted by laksa on July 11, 2009 at 8:11 AM
32
Link:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=…
Posted by laksa on July 11, 2009 at 8:13 AM
elenchos 33
@20. Yes, Marzluff's book says crows stage funerals. And executions. But maybe he's a nutter. He teaches at the UW, ok?
Posted by elenchos on July 11, 2009 at 8:15 AM
Charles Mudede 34
@ 15, word up! "If things get bad we could make some deal, where humans keep the earth, dolphins get the sea and crows get the sky."

Posted by Charles Mudede on July 11, 2009 at 8:27 AM
Peter F 35
There's a reason a grouping of crows is called a "murder"...

My office looks out on the Mercer Slough, and last spring I watched a crow hop over to a baby bunny that was peacefully munching grass in the shadows, then PECK its little head hard enough to crush its skull, just like that. The momma bunny was only a few feet away and she went nuts, but the crow took no heed and just started tearing open the little rabbit to feast on its still-warm entrails...
Posted by Peter F on July 11, 2009 at 8:27 AM
jmahlon 36
What a retarded statement..this is why i hate crows. think before you type.
Posted by jmahlon on July 11, 2009 at 8:29 AM
37
@20 - Crow funeral. Many corvids do this, where they gather around a dead one and even do stuff do it. Magpies especially.
Posted by STJA on July 11, 2009 at 8:48 AM
38
35 - well, that's predation, right? a lot of predators are pretty freakin cruel.
Posted by onion on July 11, 2009 at 8:49 AM
39
I'm with you here, Charles. Crows, those smart bastards, scare the crap out of me. Once when I was a kid I threw a rock at a crow and they've never forgotten it.
Posted by Regina on July 11, 2009 at 8:57 AM
40
@26 - It's fun to interact with birds/wildlife, but you're doing them a much bigger favor if you refrain from feeding birds (or wild animals of any kind) and just observe, sketch or journal about them instead. The reasons for not doing so are numerous (and seemingly boring, but stay with me), but topping the list would be that feeding birds creates a dependence on both humans and the food source, making the bird/animal lose its own abilities to hunt/gather and to develop aggressive, demanding behavior toward humans. Feeding birds also gives them no incentive to continue their natural migratory patterns (hello, thousands of annoying, aggressive, shitting geese) and can mess up their reproductive and digestive systems forevermore. :)

Posted by mitten on July 11, 2009 at 8:59 AM
41
@40 Thanks for the advice. I feed them little and in measured amounts so as to not overfeed. Like I stated, they are not in their natural environment so many of them are close to starving. I also see the birds I feed going about their normal routines of picking and feeding all around the area, so I know they are not just sitting waiting for the next meal. And beside that I have been doing it for many years and the bird population around here is healthy.
Posted by Vince on July 11, 2009 at 9:06 AM
Charles Mudede 42
@35, "The societies which it destroys are its food. This food is destroyed by dissolving it into somewhat simpler social elements. It has been robbed of something. Thus all societies require an interplay with their environment, and in the case of living societies this interplay takes the form of robbery..." Whitehead, Process and Reality.
Posted by Charles Mudede on July 11, 2009 at 9:23 AM
Fnarf 43
@40, crows are not "wildlife". They are city residents. They're not migratory, and they are flying garbage disposals; they can and do eat ANYTHING, from french fries to rotting roadkill. The only thing feeding crows does is encourage them to hang around. I like having them around. When the bald eagle at Green Lake robs their nests, and they chase the bastard around by the dozen, I'm rooting for the crow.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on July 11, 2009 at 9:31 AM
FreudianShrimp 44
Because of your monkey brains and opposable thumbs you silly homo sapiens believe you're at the top of the evolutionary ladder. Little do you know what plans we other species have in store for you. Your extinction will commence with avian arial assault!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JupbvUq5O…
Posted by FreudianShrimp on July 11, 2009 at 9:44 AM
45
Charles hates dolphins, too.
Posted by STJA on July 11, 2009 at 10:16 AM
Peter F 46
onion @ 38, it was the first time I'd seen a crow kill something to eat it; I guess I thought they were only scavengers
Posted by Peter F on July 11, 2009 at 10:34 AM
julie russell 47
Last summer I was biking on the BG trail and came across a wounded crow who was about to get crushed by bike tires.

Amazingly, he let me scoop him up and hold him in my elbow joint, as I kept riding until we got to the vet in Lake Forest Park.
It was hilarious because the wind was in his feathers as I rode, and of course I was talking to him (in obnoxious baby voice) the whole way."It'll be okay mr. crow...we'll get you all fixed up..."and so on.

I was stunned that the bitch at the front desk of the vet's office was like "ewww..I'm not touching it...I don't want bird flu."
I told her to consider a new line of work.And, called her a c*&t. Thankfully the vet took him to a birdie sanctuary and he lived:)

I, being crazy, went to visit him and SWEAR I could pick him out of a line up...or not. I love Mr. Crow.
Posted by julie russell http://www.fabbseattle.org on July 11, 2009 at 11:15 AM
48
god has reserved a special place for you in heaven, Julie. That's a wonderful story.
Posted by mrs crow on July 11, 2009 at 3:16 PM
leek 49
It's true, it is written that God loves the meek, and also those who throw around the word cunt.
Posted by leek on July 11, 2009 at 8:02 PM
julie russell 50
Cunt is a special word I reserve for special people...and if there's a heaven, I'm pretty sure I'm not invited:)
Posted by julie russell http://www.fabbseattle.org on July 12, 2009 at 10:40 AM
Toasterhedgehog 51
I raised a baby crow when I was a teen. Ming was one of the best non-human family members I ever had. Unfortunately the wild crows in the neighborhood didn't like Ming, and ended up dive bombing him/her. Ming was a happy, smart, loving creature. We failed him/her though. As humans, my family could not properly teach Ming how to fly, and where not to fly. We found him beneath the power lines. It sucked, and I cried.
Posted by Toasterhedgehog on July 12, 2009 at 11:41 AM
Charles Mudede 52
@51, as much as i hate crows and their craftiness, your story broke my heart. good crows die young.
Posted by Charles Mudede on July 12, 2009 at 2:12 PM
julie russell 53
@51..that is a sweet, sad story.
Posted by julie russell http://www.fabbseattle.org on July 12, 2009 at 2:16 PM
Stupid White Man 54
I'd love them too if they were good eatin', but the aint', so fu*k 'em.
Posted by Stupid White Man http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/ on July 12, 2009 at 4:55 PM
Greg 55
I like the way crows look. They are beautiful birds in their way. I could do without the loud cawing at 5 AM, though.
Posted by Greg on July 13, 2009 at 9:08 AM
JR Labrador 56
I've seen crows drop nuts from power lines onto Greenwood Ave and wait for traffic to roll over and crush them and then fly down and scoop up the goodies. Devious bastards.
Posted by JR Labrador on July 13, 2009 at 10:34 AM
57
@21 Clearly the little guy was pushed.

@24 :)
Posted by B. Betherton on July 13, 2009 at 10:50 AM
58
Crows symbolize curiosity and learning.
Posted by I have always been... east coaster on July 14, 2009 at 1:00 PM

Add a comment

 

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use