Friday, July 10, 2009
Politics / Religion Is That the Body of Christ In Your Pocket... Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Jul 10, 2009 at 8:12 AM
Meanwhile in Canada...
Prime Minister Stephen Harper dismissed reports that he pocketed a communion wafer as "ridiculous" and "terrible" and said he would never do such a thing.Earlier this week, controversy broke out after a video clip emerged that appeared to show Harper accepting a communion wafer at the funeral for former governor general Romeo Leblanc, but not consuming it.
Allegations emerged that Harper had slipped the wafer into his jacket pocket.
But the video seems pretty (and literally) damning...
When I was an altar boy we snuck sips of church wine and made communion-wafer sandwiches—so I'll see you in hell, Stephen Harper.
Share via
3
The body of Christ tastes better when it's sitting on a Ritz! I like my Christ with a little Cheez Wiz.
4
Catholic Churches should have drive-up windows where you can get a bite of the lord with out having to get out of the car. Maybe the Prime Minister was already full of it and just taking JC home to have as a snack latter on.
An ex Catholic friend of mine used to refer to communion as "swallow the leader."
An ex Catholic friend of mine used to refer to communion as "swallow the leader."
6
He also missed the first photo op round at the G8 -- the same stunt he pulled at the G20. Bright guy.
7
And for the youth pastors who like to think of an under age body of Christ in snack form:
http://www.theimaginaryworld.com/crk29.j…
http://www.theimaginaryworld.com/crk29.j…
9
If someone is a Catholic vegan and they really believe that the communion host is the body and blood of Jesus is taking communion a dilemma for them?
10
Well, I heard that he was walking down the street and stepped on a crack, which is scandalous because that means he broke his mother's back.
What's that you say? That's just a silly superstition?
What's that you say? That's just a silly superstition?
12
It's wrong only if it's consecrated. I, myself, believe that Harper was smouching the B. of Ch. to take home and use in a black arts experiment, but that's only because all Canadians are deep-dyed evil.
15
Okay, that should say, "nail my wafers to them." Christ, please make me a better writer...oh, right.
16
The video is damning??? The video is totally inconclusive. Unless, of course, you want it to be otherwise.
17
Some people actually take Communion seriously - if you have unconfessed sin in your heart, you don't accept it. So at a public funeral he has to attend, in a communion ceremony he has to participate in because people will notice his refusal? I'd do the same thing. If I cared about things like unconfessed sin, anyway.
20
Wait, didn't we already have this as national news earlier this year - a kid didn't eat his wafer 'cause his friend who wasn't catholic wanted to see it?
21
Aislinn, you're supposed to refuse the wafer, not pocket it. Once it's been consecrated, it's the actual body of Christ, through the miracle of transubstantiation. Before then, like when Dan was making sandwiches out of them, they're just flour and water. It's a deeply weird thing for a Catholic to do.
However, at Matt from Denver points out, Harper is not a Catholic, so he's not supposed to be getting a wafer at all; he's not been confirmed. This is a gross failure on the part of the priest, not Harper; again, Harper should have refused it, but didn't commit any horrific sins by taking it away. Quite the opposite; his kook evangelical faith holds these Papist sacraments to be the embodiment of pure evil.
He DID, however, insult the living crap out of about half of all Canadians by shitting on their sacrament.
However, at Matt from Denver points out, Harper is not a Catholic, so he's not supposed to be getting a wafer at all; he's not been confirmed. This is a gross failure on the part of the priest, not Harper; again, Harper should have refused it, but didn't commit any horrific sins by taking it away. Quite the opposite; his kook evangelical faith holds these Papist sacraments to be the embodiment of pure evil.
He DID, however, insult the living crap out of about half of all Canadians by shitting on their sacrament.
22
Harper should have sent it to notorious atheist PZ Meyers for a proper desecration:
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/…
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/…
23
Clearly he doesn't know what the fuck to do here. He doesn't put out his hands right (the guy next to him does), he just pinches it between his forefinger and thumb.
Harper isn't Catholic. So he's not supposed to eat the thing anyway. Technically I don't think he was even supposed to take it, but whatever.
Can't say as I care either way. Screw religion and definitely screw outrage over not complying with a pedantic ostentatious religious ritual.
Harper isn't Catholic. So he's not supposed to eat the thing anyway. Technically I don't think he was even supposed to take it, but whatever.
Can't say as I care either way. Screw religion and definitely screw outrage over not complying with a pedantic ostentatious religious ritual.
24
As someone who's not a confirmed Catholic, who goes to a large number of Catholic weddings, funerals, etc... Formally speaking, what you're supposed to do is cross your wrists over your chest, to indicate you just want a blessing, not the wafer. Though, depending on the situation, you can usually just say something to the priest. So, technically, it is still Harper's fault for not refusing the wafer (even though, since he's the Prime Minister and all, you'd think the priest would know he's not Catholic and not give it to him).
I usually just don't go up, but sometimes it's unavoidable (when you're standing up in a wedding, etc.).
I usually just don't go up, but sometimes it's unavoidable (when you're standing up in a wedding, etc.).
26
As kids my sister and I attended a Catholic Mass because our friend was an alter boy. We were going to stay in out pews during Communion, but these little old ladies were beckoning at us to come up so we went. As the priest handed my sister the Host, my friend whispered frantically in his ear, "They're not Catholic!" My sister was already walking away with the wafer when the priest went after her and took it back. Needless to say I also went without my mid-Mass snack that day.
28
omg, that is so funny because when i was a kid I really really hated going to my catholic church every Sunday (who knew I would turn out to be atheist) and one summer i decided to see how many of these wafers i could pocket instead of eating, I saved them in an empty POG case and only accrued 10 of them for some reason.
29
I've heard that some folks are selling them as a diet snacks.
Eat Christ! Eat him with honey mustard sauce. Eat him with tangy sweet-and-sour sauce. Eat the new fiesta Christ salad. Enjoy eating Christ on the patio, in the car, or on the boat. Wherever good times are had!
Does anyone think about what happens to the body of Christ when it gets to the end of the digestive system?
Eat Christ! Eat him with honey mustard sauce. Eat him with tangy sweet-and-sour sauce. Eat the new fiesta Christ salad. Enjoy eating Christ on the patio, in the car, or on the boat. Wherever good times are had!
Does anyone think about what happens to the body of Christ when it gets to the end of the digestive system?
30
Rob, since it's the Body of Christ, there is no waste product. It's entirely absorbed into your bloodstream and from there, into your soul. This is the only foodstuff known to do this.
The Blood of Christ, OTOH, just gives you a nice buzz and a few antioxidants.
The Blood of Christ, OTOH, just gives you a nice buzz and a few antioxidants.
31
I'm not a huge fan of Harper, but I think he probably did the right thing here. How do you refuse a wafer at a public ceremony without looking like a dick? If the priest offers, take it, but don't eat. The crossing the arms over the chest thing looks as obvious as doing one of those hip-hop, hand-waves that indicate no,no.
And bravo to him for not eating it. I wouldn't either. I don't dig cannibalism - even symbolic cannibalism.
And bravo to him for not eating it. I wouldn't either. I don't dig cannibalism - even symbolic cannibalism.
32
@11 - Rob, don't you mean "how I love my foie gras Jesus"?
Oh, and I don't care if some douche from America's Hat pockets a wheat thin at some Euro-Voodoo ceremony.
Oh, and I don't care if some douche from America's Hat pockets a wheat thin at some Euro-Voodoo ceremony.
33
30, I like that new HBO vampire show, "True Blood of Christ" It's about priests who like to suck.
34
@27, um, nails it. But @24 "Formally speaking, what you're supposed to do is cross your wrists over your chest, to indicate you just want a blessing, not the wafer. Though, depending on the situation, you can usually just say something to the priest." Fascinating. I never knew that, though I grew up Catholic. So theoretically, why not one-stop shopping: whisper to the priest "I just rubbed one out this morning," get the blessing/absolution, and wolf the wafer. What a time-saver!
Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional,
There, the guy who’s got religion’ll
Tell you if your sin’s original.
If it is, try playin’ it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!
--Tom Lehrer, "The Vatican Rag"
35
32, I love foie Gras Jesus! It's made by shoving a tube down Christ's throat, and force feeding him until his liver is nice and fatty. Serve it at holiday parties on communion wafers, and it's sacridelicious!!!
36
Must be a slow news day for Dan. This is an old scandal and has been resolved. Believe the video if you like, or hear from the priest who gave him said wafer.
http://www.nationalpost.com/news/canada/…
http://www.nationalpost.com/news/canada/…
37
Those wafers taste like crap anyway; I don't blame him.
I once went to a service that served real bread broken into pieces. That struck me as way more classy, and likely tastier. I'm also a fan of using a communal glass for the wine. Isn't that how the apostles did it?
I once went to a service that served real bread broken into pieces. That struck me as way more classy, and likely tastier. I'm also a fan of using a communal glass for the wine. Isn't that how the apostles did it?
38
Someday, they'll be able to take that real, consecrated Body of Christ, extract DNA from it, and clone a whole ARMY OF SUPER-CHRISTS!
39
He is saving the wafer for later so he can make some tools for slaying vampires. Harper leads a tough double life. You have no idea the forces he is up against.
40
When I was about 14 I was visiting a friend, along with several other friends, over a weekend and we went to Mass. I had never been to a Catholic Mass (and haven't been since) and didn't have any idea what to do, and I just kind of went along with the Communion line to avoid drawing attention, and he gave me the wafer and I couldn't figure out if I was supposed to eat it, because it honestly looked and felt like a piece of styrofoam, and I ended up leaving it on the pew. I forgot all about it until that story a few months ago and then I started feeling kind of guilty and nervous when I remember it.
42
@36, I don't believe the priest; he was just trying to make nice. It's perfectly clear from the video Harper put it in his pocket.
The most interesting thing about this story is not the wafer, but the fact that he lied about it and then used the occasion to tear into the media for reporting it. I am not happy with a PM who is so consistently arrogant and dishonest.
The most interesting thing about this story is not the wafer, but the fact that he lied about it and then used the occasion to tear into the media for reporting it. I am not happy with a PM who is so consistently arrogant and dishonest.
43
I wonder if anyone's ever choked to death on a communion wafer? How would the church fumble their way through that?
44
I've always just crossed my wrists over my chest when in a Catholic Church.
To other denominations the wafer and wine are taken in rememberance, they aren't believed to be the actual body or blood. It's much easier you either don't go forward, or you just pass the plate.
Dan, you were a little boy, acting like a little boy, your antics likely made God laugh. You weren't the first, and you won't be the last. The gospel of grace announces that forgiveness precedes repentance. Little boys (and little girls) are given lots of grace.
To other denominations the wafer and wine are taken in rememberance, they aren't believed to be the actual body or blood. It's much easier you either don't go forward, or you just pass the plate.
Dan, you were a little boy, acting like a little boy, your antics likely made God laugh. You weren't the first, and you won't be the last. The gospel of grace announces that forgiveness precedes repentance. Little boys (and little girls) are given lots of grace.
45
I don't really believe the priest either, Irena. I also think there may be some CYA going on because maybe the priest is getting some flack for having given him the wafer (since, presumably, he should have known better, even if Harper should have refused).
I don't know, I don't really blame Harper. I might have been a bit flustered too if the priest came down to my pew to hand them out. He probably just figured he wouldn't go up to the front to take communion, and then here the priest is in front of him, and how do you refuse without looking bad? Even the arms crossed thing might seem like a snub to someone who wasn't familiar with it.
I don't know, I don't really blame Harper. I might have been a bit flustered too if the priest came down to my pew to hand them out. He probably just figured he wouldn't go up to the front to take communion, and then here the priest is in front of him, and how do you refuse without looking bad? Even the arms crossed thing might seem like a snub to someone who wasn't familiar with it.
48
Does anyone think an omnipotent god would give two shits about people eating crackers? This is a silly human ritual, made up by superstitious people.
49
Rob @ 48:
I don't think it matters to him, it is done by the faithful in rememberance and is for the benefit of the faithful.
I don't think it matters to him, it is done by the faithful in rememberance and is for the benefit of the faithful.
50
49, I couldn't believe in, or take this anymore seriously than I could a wiccan priestess mixing hex ingredients on an alter to cast a spell. People just make stuff up. You might as well ask me to believe in fairies, leprechauns, Santa, and the Easter Bunny.
51
@42 and 45 - Priests don't lie about handing out wafers. They lie about molesting children.
And really, who cares? I hate Harper with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, but I have to agree with him that this is a friggin' non issue. It's a wafer. You can buy them in a deli. Not really the body of some imagined deity. .
And really, who cares? I hate Harper with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, but I have to agree with him that this is a friggin' non issue. It's a wafer. You can buy them in a deli. Not really the body of some imagined deity. .
52
Rob in Baltimore - TEN fucking posts?
You're an atheist. We get it. So are many of us.
But must you be such an unfunny, smug douche-bag about it all?
Do you get an erection when you argue with Loveschild?
You're an atheist. We get it. So are many of us.
But must you be such an unfunny, smug douche-bag about it all?
Do you get an erection when you argue with Loveschild?
53
50: I know, and I like you as your are. You should just listen to and follow your heart.
I wish you love, joy, peace, and justice.
I wish you love, joy, peace, and justice.
54
The local parochial kids here in San Francisco would get high off the transubstantiation wafers, when pilfered and eaten in large quantities (like around a dozen). I never learned what the magic additive was that did that, but it was well known the wafers were wacky.
Rumors are they don't feature the magical ingredient anymore, but I'd expect when Dan was munching on the spares in little sandwiches, he was getting dosed.
Rumors are they don't feature the magical ingredient anymore, but I'd expect when Dan was munching on the spares in little sandwiches, he was getting dosed.
55
Julie @45: Yeah, I don't think the wafer-in-pocket thing was a big deal either, and I think it was silly for that priest to call it a "scandal". I do think Harper could have dealt with it better instead of flipping out and calling it "a new low" in journalistic standards. What a hypocrite! The Conservatives are famous for their nasty attacks on the Liberals; why should the rules be any different for them?
Listen to me rant! Kim in Portland, thanks for being your humorous, forgiving self. I'm outta here; I've got a date with a drink.
Listen to me rant! Kim in Portland, thanks for being your humorous, forgiving self. I'm outta here; I've got a date with a drink.
56
Harper's a Christian and Missionary Alliance -- fucking fundie nutjob probably thought God wouldn't forgive him if he actually ate the damned thing.
Christianist idiot.
Christianist idiot.
57
It amazes me that anyone - least of all an atheist - would give an outhouse shit about this "issue". I despise Harper almost as much as the Liberal leader Ignatieff (who, ironically is FAR more right-wing than the Conservatives but is leading a party that is "Left" because he is a wolf in sheep's clothing... fortunately, I vote NDP but I digress)
Harper was just trying to respect the flow of the ceremony. I care far more about Arctic sovereignty, our obligation to give our fresh water to the US, and the Alberta bitumen sands than I do about where he puts a fucking cracker.
It is a complete insult to our intelligence that this "issue" takes up time, energy, and print space when Canadian troops are dying in Afghanistan for the amusement of Greg Gutfeld and for the sake of American bloodlust.
Harper was just trying to respect the flow of the ceremony. I care far more about Arctic sovereignty, our obligation to give our fresh water to the US, and the Alberta bitumen sands than I do about where he puts a fucking cracker.
It is a complete insult to our intelligence that this "issue" takes up time, energy, and print space when Canadian troops are dying in Afghanistan for the amusement of Greg Gutfeld and for the sake of American bloodlust.
58
I grew up in a very staunch, Irish Catholic family, where my brothers and I were all Alter Boys. Pictures of my brothers and I in our black and white Alter Boy gowns still grace the hallway of my parent's home. My parents still practice many of the traditions of Vatican I, such as, no meat on ANY Friday, not just during Lent, as is now practiced under Vatican II doctrine. Or going to Confession weekly, as was practiced under Vatican I, to only going to Confession when you've committed a grievous sin, as is now practiced under Vatican II.
That being said, I determined many years ago, there is no explaining the "unexplainable" to those not growing up Catholic. We do a lot of bat shit crazy things non-Catholics will never understand. A great book outlining the experiences of Catholic youth is "Growing Up Catholic" by Mary Jane Frances Cavolina. The book is chocked full of similar experiences of many that grew up in a Catholic household, and is quite humorous.
It's not all bad, being Catholic. It does provide for some humor, in the right environment, for my non-Catholic friends. And, sadly for my mother, she is like many Catholic mothers, that only wished one of her sons had become a Priest. But that's a whole other story.
That being said, I determined many years ago, there is no explaining the "unexplainable" to those not growing up Catholic. We do a lot of bat shit crazy things non-Catholics will never understand. A great book outlining the experiences of Catholic youth is "Growing Up Catholic" by Mary Jane Frances Cavolina. The book is chocked full of similar experiences of many that grew up in a Catholic household, and is quite humorous.
It's not all bad, being Catholic. It does provide for some humor, in the right environment, for my non-Catholic friends. And, sadly for my mother, she is like many Catholic mothers, that only wished one of her sons had become a Priest. But that's a whole other story.
59
This is straight up voodoo shit! Do Catholics actually read the Bible? It doesn't seem like it. As far as I can figure, they'll all be burning in Hell for the whole "saint/worshipping people" thing. Such a sick cult. The only thing the Prime Minister did wrong was to walk into a Catholic Church...and you can be damn sure I wouldn't put anything in my mouth that had been offered by a priest...and if I did, I would definitely not swallow.
Most Commented on Slog
-
Life and Death in a Recliner in South Carolina by Dan Savage
-
Health at Every Size by Dan Savage
-
"Let his days be few... Let his children be fatherless and his wife a widow." by Dan Savage
-
$2,600,000,000 by Dan Savage
-
All The Best Men Are Taken by Dan Savage
-
I Hate You, Garrison Keillor by Jen Graves
-
SL Letter of the Day: Hot & Drunk by Dan Savage
-
Becoming a Man by Dan Savage
-
Pit Bulls! by Dan Savage
-
Unreal Americans by Dan Savage
RSS
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (59) RSS