Slog
News & ArtsFriday, July 10, 2009
Chow Death By Chocolate, and Fudge, and Drizzle, and Cookie Pieces, and Whipped Cream
Posted by Anthony Hecht on Fri, Jul 10, 2009 at 4:26 PM
Should it even be legal to sell things like this? If kids can't buy cigarettes and alcohol, then surely they should be restricted from just buying up all the Chocolate Oreo® Shakes they can eat, no?
Men's Health has awarded this shake the title of Unhealthiest Drink in America.
Is this the worst drink on the planet? All signs point to yes. First off, it has an ingredient list that reads like an organic chemistry final. Those 70-plus ingredients conspire to pack this shake with more sugar than 29 Fudgsicles, as much fat as a stick and a half of butter, and more calories than 48 actual Oreos. Oh, it also has 3 days’ worth of saturated fat and, most bizarre of all, as much salt as you’ll find in 9 bags of Lay’s Classic potato chips.
But look at all that Calcium! And take heart, for it contains no crustaceans.
Oh well, I'm off to Molly Moons. Or Old-School Custard, maybe? Oh, there's that new Bluebird place, too! And soon, Trophy Cupcakes Cupcake Royale. Maybe I'll enter that giant burger contest. My arteries runneth over.
via @cabel and @TheSquare
1
Weird. Men's Health isn't really doing their research, are they? One ounce of Lay's has 7% of your daily sodium intake. So it would be as much salt as nine snack-size bags, maybe.
3
It's 32-farking-ounces. Forget how bad it is for your arteries; I'm not sure anyone could drink that much processed dairy product in an hour without throwing it up again.
5
A hundred and thirty-five grams of fat? That's insane. 2600 calories? That's more than a normal person should be eating in a single day. I didn't even realize you could GET that much sugar in a cup that size; that's more than HALF A POUND OF SUGAR.Wow.
6
I looked at the ingredient list; it's actually very straightforward and not at all like an "organic chemistry final". You can get basically everything at almost any supermarket. The vast majority of it is just cream, milk, and sugar.
This is just an example of how bad dairy is for you, especially if you eat 32oz of it. I'm sure frozen custard is even worse for you, as it's essentially the same thing with the addition of EGG YOLKS, probably the one non-meat food more unhealthy than cream.
This is just an example of how bad dairy is for you, especially if you eat 32oz of it. I'm sure frozen custard is even worse for you, as it's essentially the same thing with the addition of EGG YOLKS, probably the one non-meat food more unhealthy than cream.
7
The sad thing is that one could make a reasonably proportioned orio shake that would not be too bad for you. It just would not be huge and cheap.
I say label the menus, like King County recently required and let the idiots make their choices.
I say label the menus, like King County recently required and let the idiots make their choices.
8
It's like that friendly southern cook said on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me a couple weeks ago about her specialty (burger between two Krispy Kreme donuts with a fried egg on top):
"The catch is, honey--it's just one serving per lifetime."
"The catch is, honey--it's just one serving per lifetime."
9
@6- Can you please lay off your anti-dairy crusade? Most northern europeans are perfectly well adapted to consuming some dairy.
It would probably be more delicious and better for you to just drink a litre of chocolate pudding. Mmm. Pudding.
It would probably be more delicious and better for you to just drink a litre of chocolate pudding. Mmm. Pudding.
10
@6. "This is just an example of how bad dairy is for you." Give me a break. This is an example of how bad dozens of Oreo cookies are for you. This is an example of how bad 32 oz. of ice cream is for you. If this were skim milk blended with non-fat, sugar-free frozen yogurt, we would not be having this conversation.
11
Ok, with all this talk of Oreos, custard, and chocolate, I'm getting hungry. I really want to try this now.
12
#9: I'm not talking about the digestive problems associated with dairy -- and you're right, most non-Europeans can't tolerate dairy, and most Europeans have a lot better time in the bathroom without dairy. Dairy is just dense fat - especially saturated fat and trans fat (which is 2-5% of dairy fat, but is usually rounded down to 0 on labels).
#10: If it were skim milk, nobody would buy it. All 5 of the new dessert places on Pike/Pine that Slog has been obsessed with use full-fat dairy and cream (and the custard place adds egg yolks, which are even worse, but at least a relatively minor ingredient).
Also, there's no such thing as sugar-free dairy - you mean "no sugar added". Milk is just fat and sugar (lactose). Milk without sugar is whey, milk without fat is skim milk, milk without either is water.
Skim milk is nutritionally the same as soda pop, with a few vitamins, calcium, and cholesterol thrown in (so it's basically Vitamin Water with cholesterol).
#10: If it were skim milk, nobody would buy it. All 5 of the new dessert places on Pike/Pine that Slog has been obsessed with use full-fat dairy and cream (and the custard place adds egg yolks, which are even worse, but at least a relatively minor ingredient).
Also, there's no such thing as sugar-free dairy - you mean "no sugar added". Milk is just fat and sugar (lactose). Milk without sugar is whey, milk without fat is skim milk, milk without either is water.
Skim milk is nutritionally the same as soda pop, with a few vitamins, calcium, and cholesterol thrown in (so it's basically Vitamin Water with cholesterol).
14
Sorry, I screwed up shortening my longass comment - milk without sugar is milkfat. Small amount of protein blah blah.
15
lizzie, the point isn't whether anybody would buy the hypothetical skim milk/frozen yogurt concoction (though, you know that there's a huge market for "healthier" versions of sweets like frozen yogurt, right?). The point is that, it's not the DAIRY that's what's bad about this shake. It's the oreos and the ice cream. In mass quantities.
Make arguments against dairy all you want, but seriously, this shake is not Exhibit A why dairy is bad for you. All ice cream is dairy, but not all dairy is ice cream.
Make arguments against dairy all you want, but seriously, this shake is not Exhibit A why dairy is bad for you. All ice cream is dairy, but not all dairy is ice cream.
16
I wonder how many of those Paul Constant could drink (eat?) in a competitive eating contest?
I mean, before the body totally shut down from overload, that is...
I mean, before the body totally shut down from overload, that is...
18
At 38 grams of protein, that's more protein than in two entire 15oz cans of black beans:
http://www.swfinefoods.com/products/pdf/…
http://www.swfinefoods.com/products/pdf/…
19
@6, 12, 14.
I'll stay out of the dairy argument. However, egg yolks, while containing plenty of not=so-great stuff, are also jam packed with nutrients. We all know eggs are nutritious, and all you get from the white is pretty much protein - not exactly the healthiest diet.
Say it with me. Moderation is key. Moderation is key. Moderation is key.
I'll stay out of the dairy argument. However, egg yolks, while containing plenty of not=so-great stuff, are also jam packed with nutrients. We all know eggs are nutritious, and all you get from the white is pretty much protein - not exactly the healthiest diet.
Say it with me. Moderation is key. Moderation is key. Moderation is key.
20
I love beyond love how much libertarians kick and scream when large chains are required to label ther signature dishes. Informed competition that allows the smaller places to compete with scaled operations are obviously their enemy.
21
Even without reading the nutrition facts, that thing looks like way too much stuff in one place for me.
22
@12- you've said this before on another post, and I really have to disagree. You can't reduce milk down to these basic components. I don't think any baby or calf would flourish on a diet of:
"soda pop, with a few vitamins, calcium, and cholesterol thrown in."
Such an insult to milk! I'm going to sick the La Leche league on you!
"soda pop, with a few vitamins, calcium, and cholesterol thrown in."
Such an insult to milk! I'm going to sick the La Leche league on you!
23
How is it even possible to stuff that many calories into a milkshake? A fucking butter milkshake would be less fattening.
24
Heard over the radio ow a 29 year old man in New Jersey met his demise by falling into a vat of chocolate at a cocoa processing factory. now that's real "Death By Chocolate".
26
Where can I get this? Seriously--I need the calories, carbs and fat. I'm about 40 pounds underweight due to illness and it doesn't seem to matter how much I try to eat.
I don't want to make it a habit, but one or two isn't going to hurt me.
Anyone?
I don't want to make it a habit, but one or two isn't going to hurt me.
Anyone?
27
To our favorite vegan fanatic... you are aware that 2,900 calories of ANYTHING all at one time would be less than wise as far as health goes, regardless of if it is dairy, meat, vegetable, soy-protein, or shit if thats your thing. I don't even buy into the over-hyped 'obesity crisis' (which is about as fact filled as the war on drugs) and I wouldn't eat/drink one of these things. Thats just more of everything than anyone needs.
Although a reasonably sized chocolate oreo shake made at home once in a while probably wouldn't kill someone... my limit for shakes is roughly 12oz, and it takes me so long to finish even that much that it's basically flavored milk by the time I'm done lol.
Although a reasonably sized chocolate oreo shake made at home once in a while probably wouldn't kill someone... my limit for shakes is roughly 12oz, and it takes me so long to finish even that much that it's basically flavored milk by the time I'm done lol.
28
"I don't even buy into the over-hyped 'obesity crisis' (which is about as fact filled as the war on drugs)"
Obesity stats aren't made up. Caloric content isn't made up. Intake and abuse of fast food isn't made up. Personal choice is great, but holy fuck people are eating themselves to death and while many public or media-derived SOLUTIONS to the crisis are similar to the "war on drugs", the existence of the problem is not similar.
Obesity stats aren't made up. Caloric content isn't made up. Intake and abuse of fast food isn't made up. Personal choice is great, but holy fuck people are eating themselves to death and while many public or media-derived SOLUTIONS to the crisis are similar to the "war on drugs", the existence of the problem is not similar.
30
Lizzy by insisting on using questionable, biased statistics, you are not winning anyone over.
You're being very disingenuous. The fact is, you are against eating animal products for moral reasons, not heath ones, so you twist and spin until you have no credibility left.
Eating too much fat, sugar, and calories is bad for you, no matter what the source.
You're being very disingenuous. The fact is, you are against eating animal products for moral reasons, not heath ones, so you twist and spin until you have no credibility left.
Eating too much fat, sugar, and calories is bad for you, no matter what the source.
Advertisement
Most Commented on Slog
-
Hating People Doesn't Make Them Thinner by Jen Graves
-
Los Angeles Gay Bar Bans Bachelorette Parties Until Marriage Equality Is Attained by David Schmader
-
Fill in the Blank by Grant Brissey
-
This Reminds Me of the Great Calculator Scare of the Late '70s/Early '80s by David Schmader
-
Idiot Tries to Defend Bigoted Anti-Gay-Marriage Preacher on Anderson Cooper by Paul Constant
-
Six Moms with Too Much Time on Their Hands and a Shitty Website Decide to Fight Gay Superheroes by Paul Constant
-
Why Mayor McGinn's Wife Canceled Her Family's Seattle Times Subscription by Eli Sanders
-
What the Hell Is Wrong With Seattle's Pride Parade? by Dominic Holden
-
The Saturday Morning News by Unpaid Intern
-
NYC Man Ticketed for Not Riding in the Bike Lane by Jonathan Golob
RSS
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (31) RSS