
This one goes out to my good friend David Klinghoffer...
The basic gist of David's latest post: "There ain't no ladies now, there's only pigs and whores—and they're stankin' up mah comments!"
Following on our discussion of gay marriage and the stake heterosexual women don't realize they have in opposing it, a friend writes to correct me for giving women too much credit for innate modesty.... I have to admit that many of the comments left on our earlier threads by women (or people identifying themselves as women) were almost as crude as the ones left by men. Many had to be unpublished. Yes, I find myself wondering about my original thesis.
Giving women too much credit—that's David comin' and goin'. But who's to blame for the mouths/fingers on the ladies in David's comments threads? Me! David says that the sodomites of Sodom were to blame for Lot offering up his daughters to a mob to rape—the Sodomites having set such a bad example!—just like contemporary sodomites like me are to blame for the phenomenon of modern "female crudity." We so nasty. See how that works?
But a quick point of biblical scholarship, David. What's with the revisionist treatment of the story of Sodom?
Something else I realize is that the story of Lot and Sodom is an even more illuminating parable than I thought when I wrote about it before. You have the city with its depraved, shameless culture that gives us the term sodomy. You have the father (Lot) who, despite being from Abraham's household, assimilates its values to the point where he's willing to give his daughters over to the howling mob. Finally you have Lot's daughters themselves who, escaping from the city with their father, show us the idea of modesty they learned too well from their residency in Sodom.
Um, David? God spares Lot because he is the one and only righteous person with a Sodom zip code. Lot isn't presented as semi-righteous, or nearly-righteous. He's righteous. Period, full stop, end of discussion. The angels warn Lot to flee Sodom with his family because he's Sodom's only good guy—and his willingness to "hand his daughters over to the howling mob" to be raped is held up in Genesis 19 as proof of Lot's super-duper righteousness, not as proof that Lot has "gone native" or that Lot has assimilated the values of Sodom. And "Rape my daughters, please!" wasn't Lot's last, desperate attempt to placate the howling mob and save the angels who came to dinner, but the very first thing that popped into Lot's righteous head. Genesis 19:
(5) and they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.(6) And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him,
(7) and said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly.
(8) Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.
Offering your daughters to the mob to rape: I think that's wrong and so do you, David. And that's to your credit, I suppose, given your fondness for literal interpretations of the bible. But an honest reading of Genesis leads to just one conclusion: whoever wrote this book doesn't think Lot did anything wrong. Quite the opposite. Whoever wrote Genesis—God?—believes that offering your virgin daughters up to a howling mob to rape is the goddamn righteous thing to do. More proof that God approves of Lot's actions: What did the angels do after Lot offered his daughters to the mob to rape? Did they pull Lot aside for a quick chat about responsible parenting? Did they say, "Whoa, Lot, offering your daughters to a mob to rape—not cool. You've clearly been living in Sodom a little too long. Now stand back and let us smite these bastards"? No. The angels—the angels!—didn't take action until the mob threatened to break down Lot's door and rape their angelic asses. You get the distinct impression reading Genesis 19 that if the mob had said, "Sure, send out the girls!", the angels would've been just fine with that. God too.
The idea that the men of Sodom were a bad influence on Lot—just as modern-day sodomites are a bad influence on the ladies—and that this explains Lot's actions, actions that shock the modern reader, is something you pulled out of your bigoted ass, David, it's not something you'll find the biblical story of Sodom. And I can't imagine that the pigs and whores who stank up your comments threads wrote anything that can touch the obscenities that you'll find in Genesis 19, David.
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