...tonight's your chance. On the heels of Joey Chestnut's third consecutive win at Nathan's annual hot dog eating contest, Ballard restaurant/bar Tigertail is hosting a hot dog eating contest. (Stranger readers have given Tigertail an overwhelmingly average three star rating; reviews seem to go straight from one to five stars. There's very little compromise here, it seems.) From Tigertail's blog: [Everything (sic)]

you come in and pay your $10 and get a chance to win $100.00 in local gift certificates, all the hot dogs you can handle, a commemorative tshirt, and a couple of beers. there is no better deal anywhere and best of all - all the proceeds benefit PAWS.

Before you ask, I am not competing. I have retired from the world of competitive eating. But I can tell you from experience that if you've ever wanted to try competitive eating, you totally should.

And if you're going to compete and you want my advice, here it is: If you've eaten breakfast, stop eating for the rest of the day. If you haven't eaten, eat a small bowl of cereal right now. Then drink as much water as you can to stretch your stomach out. Stop drinking water two hours before the competition. During the competition, dip the buns in water before you chew, and break the hot dogs in half and eat both halves at once (this is called "The Solomon Method"). Get into a rhythm and try to drown everything else out. Don't overstuff your mouth—pace yourself. Relax. Everything will be fine.

(Thanks to Slog tipper Lara for the tip.)