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Saturday, July 4, 2009

Things Come In Threes

Posted by Dan Savage on Sat, Jul 4, 2009 at 11:31 AM

b5ee/1246732542-nailingpalin.jpg

McMahon, Fawcett, Jackson... Ensign, Sanford, Palin? Or is a third GOP sex scandal in as many weeks too much to hope for?

Perhaps I'm biased—and I don't mean politically—but from the second Palin announced her resignation I've been thinking this has to be a sex scandal. She's been utterly shameless about everything else—appalling abuses of power, racist political demagoguery, campaign-financed shopping sprees—so what could possibly be coming out that would prompt her to resign? A sex scandal. It's pretty much the only thing that would cause the right-wing-religious nuts in the GOP base—pretty much all that's left of the GOP base—to abandon her.

Remember how quickly Mark "Soul Mate" Sanford was scrubbed from the Values Voters Summit?

Something's coming, something good, something dirty.

UPDATE: Anderson Cooper slaps Sarah Palin's spokeswoman around:

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Comments (76) RSS

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Lee 1
Oh, I hope you're right. Let's hope there's paternity testing, too.
Posted by Lee on July 4, 2009 at 11:43 AM
2
A sex columnist thinks "this must be a sex scandal..."
Posted by Who Would'uv Thunk? on July 4, 2009 at 11:43 AM
3
Despite all her claims of political purity...less government, less taxes, less Obama, she's a shameless, power hungry harpie. And her going on and on about Trig...how she had the choice to abort but chose to have him despite the retardation, was really a choice she made to further her political career and she has used him to that end disgracefully. And now we should believe her resignation is some altruistic honor she bestows on Alaska. What a load of crap! The only thing that would convince me otherwise was if someone in her family had some fatal disease.
Posted by Vince on July 4, 2009 at 11:45 AM
4
"Something's coming, something good, something dirty."

another day in the gutter, eh Dan...
Posted by making those you love proud! on July 4, 2009 at 11:46 AM
5
Perhaps I'm biased—and I don't mean politically—but from the second that homeless guy next to me on the bus this morning farted I've been thinking:
"THIS HAS TO BE A SEX SCANDAL!".

But maybe that's just me......
Posted by Damn Savage on July 4, 2009 at 11:50 AM
6
Delicious. And it must have been her and not Todd. I'll bet she fucked her daughter's boytoy.
Posted by Jersey on July 4, 2009 at 11:54 AM
triceritemple 7
She was probably actually in the "Nailin Palin" porno. Escandalo!!!
Posted by triceritemple on July 4, 2009 at 11:55 AM
8
What's the difference between Sarah Palin and a pit bull?

Pit bulls don't give up!
Posted by his boy Sherman on July 4, 2009 at 11:56 AM
9
The world is literally her oyster! Literally!
Posted by Regina on July 4, 2009 at 11:56 AM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 10
Dan, you may have to get used to the reality that you'll never know. Because there's a better than average chance that she resigned specifically to keep people like you from knowing.

Either that or she's just nuts.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on July 4, 2009 at 11:57 AM
Theo Magyar 11
On the topic of just nuts, her spokesperson kept mentioning energy independence. Do you suppose she has plans to invade Canada and grab the tar sands?
Posted by Theo Magyar http://connexionsandcontradictions.blogspot.com/ on July 4, 2009 at 11:59 AM
Julie in Eugene 12
I don't know... I think this could just as easily be either (A) she think she could make more money and/or have more influence outside of politics (e.g., Fox News pundit) or (B) she delusionally thinks that resigning will somehow help her chances for either a 2012 run or a senate run.

If it does turn out to be a scandal, I would bet it's more likely to be an "abuse of power"/ethics scandal than a sex scandal. We'll see...
Posted by Julie in Eugene on July 4, 2009 at 12:00 PM
13
@9 Exactly what I was going to say - literally! I love how her spokesperson is just as rambling and incoherent as Palin herself.
Posted by BrinkleyBoy on July 4, 2009 at 12:02 PM
Fnarf 14
No sex scandal. She's just getting in position to lead the Republican Party off a cliff. She seriously believes that she's a Christ-like figure delivered by God to save the world. But she can't do it from Alaska; she needs to tour the country endlessly, showing off her painful speaking skills. She'll win, too; but in November 2012 she'll get 10% of the vote, in the last national election ever contested by the Republicans.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on July 4, 2009 at 12:03 PM
Theo Magyar 15
# 14 I hope you're wrong - a lesbian sex scandal would be so much more fun .....
Posted by Theo Magyar http://connexionsandcontradictions.blogspot.com/ on July 4, 2009 at 12:05 PM
16
It's believable that she would use the sudden free time to "pal around" in the lower 48 for a 2012 run, as much as I'm loathe to believe. I don't think she needs much more motivation that that, if someone's convinced her that it'll help her win next time.

Other than that though, the only other reasons I can think of immediately is that her ethics/other investigations ended up charging the state more money than they're letting on, or she thinks that resigning will give her an argument to get the press to back off a little bit for a while. Unfortunately, she does have a claim to privacy if she backs off from being a public figure, which would allow her back at least some freedom to do things under the table again that she lost during the campaign.

But sex scandal? I would be very (although, pleasantly) surprised.
Posted by Sam R on July 4, 2009 at 12:05 PM
floatilla 17
I dont know anything about basketball....:)
Posted by floatilla http://floatilla.wordpress.com on July 4, 2009 at 12:12 PM
Fnarf 18
Yeah, in basketball it's a well-known strategy to just walk off the court.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on July 4, 2009 at 12:15 PM
Theo Magyar 19
Perhaps her run for the Ruplican nomination adds credibility to the idea that the world will end in 2012.
Posted by Theo Magyar http://connexionsandcontradictions.blogspot.com/ on July 4, 2009 at 12:15 PM
20
Apparently her child is pregnant: http://xs141.xs.to/xs141/09275/s628.jpg
Posted by EricD on July 4, 2009 at 12:19 PM
21
Bah! Wishful thinking.
Posted by disintegrator http://bottlevariation.blogspot.com on July 4, 2009 at 12:20 PM
22
My money's on a Blagoyevich-style FBI wire tap with damning evidence, something along the lines of racketeering.

Sex scandal? C'mon, people. Seriously? Have y'all even been paying attention to this crazy shrew? Not her style.
Posted by Ackham on July 4, 2009 at 12:21 PM
Max Solomon 23
maybe she realized what a fucking 24/7 job having a downs baby is. and out of control dirtball relatives. and an 18 year old single parent daughter with an infant. and that her provincial political experience in a rural state with petroleum endowment in no way qualifies her to address the vast clusterfuck that is the lower 48.
Posted by Max Solomon on July 4, 2009 at 12:23 PM
Gordon Werner 24
isn't having a daughter who has had 2 children before she is 19 scandal enough?
Posted by Gordon Werner on July 4, 2009 at 12:31 PM
Gordon Werner 25
there is also all the flak resurfacing about her husband being a secessionist and her giving the keynote speech at one of their conventions

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwvPNXYrI…
Posted by Gordon Werner on July 4, 2009 at 12:33 PM
alex 26
lol at the Anderson Cooper bit.. I like how she manages to talk so much but say so little.. true Palin style
Posted by alex on July 4, 2009 at 12:35 PM
Reverse Polarity 27
Good Christ. Her spokeswoman is just as incoherent as Palin is. She was spinning a hundred miles an hour, and saying absolutely nothing. Did they have the same English teacher?
Posted by Reverse Polarity on July 4, 2009 at 12:38 PM
28
damn, did you LISTEN to her speech and her spokeswoman's?? Sounds like they've been enjoying that great Alaskan weed ...
Posted by rh on July 4, 2009 at 12:39 PM
29
Rumor has it that it's actually a federal indictment on embezzlement charges: http://www.bradblog.com/?p=7280

While not as juicy as a sex scandal, it's a lot more fun to think that she and Todd might go to jail. Also.
Posted by Aaron on July 4, 2009 at 12:41 PM
30
#9 it must be trippy to be Sarah Palin, when your world is a bivalve mollusk that is occasionally dangerous to ingest during warm months due to bacteria.
Posted by au_gout on July 4, 2009 at 12:44 PM
Sachi 31
On that Anderson Cooper Clip, I thought it very appropriate that there's another loon diving on the lake behind her.
Posted by Sachi http://web.me.com/thorw/Claire_and_Sachi on July 4, 2009 at 12:45 PM
pissy mcslogbot 32
... Gah! it's obvious that the Wasilla meth bosses are trying to divert attention from the cringe and ewww inducing Joe the Plumbers Crack scandal....

Posted by pissy mcslogbot on July 4, 2009 at 12:47 PM
33
Judah Freed reports that Brad Friedman says this is likely the result of a federal embezzlement investigation.

Friedman wrote:
Okay, I've now been able to get independent information from multiple sources that all of this precedes what are said to be possible federal indictments against Palin, concerning an embezzlement scandal related to the building of Palin's house and the Wasilla Sports Complex, built during her tenure as Mayor. Both structures, it is said, feature the "same windows, same wood, same products." Federal investigators have been looking into this for some time, and indictments could be imminent, according to the Alaska sources.
Posted by Phil M on July 4, 2009 at 1:08 PM
mackro 34
Do you all realize exactly a year ago, most of us didn't know who Sarah Palin was?

Man, it's been a painful year. It's felt like a decade.
Posted by mackro http://mackro.blogspot.com on July 4, 2009 at 1:18 PM
Parsnip 35
#22 "Not her style"

I'm in agreement. I just don't see sex scandal in her cards, however poetic we may find it. A brief glance at her character and past evidence suggests financial imprudence. I've already heard gossip about her generous relationship with a contracting firm.
Posted by Parsnip on July 4, 2009 at 1:18 PM
Posted by Parsnip on July 4, 2009 at 1:43 PM
37
I'm going to throw in my 2 cents against the sex scandal - given how close she and Todd are (remember, he basically followed her to work half the time, sat in on official meetings, and was cc'd on official emails), it just doesn't ring true, psychologically or logistically.

Sure would be juicy, but the whole financial impropriety / abuse of power thing seems so much more in character for her.
Posted by Your friend in SF on July 4, 2009 at 1:50 PM
stinkbug 38
"I don't know who the hoop is and who the ball is." Amen.
Posted by stinkbug on July 4, 2009 at 1:51 PM
39
Yep, financial embezzlement!

The suddenness of her announcement raises the question about whether Palin resigned to avert a major scandal. One logical place to start looking is the affair that has Alaska political circles buzzing: an alleged scandal centered around a building contractor, Spenard Building Supplies, with close ties to Palin and her husband, Todd.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-s…

It's also interesting to see she still hasn't grasped the English language. She is incapable of forming complete, coherent sentences in her speeches. Amazing!
Posted by RFrank on July 4, 2009 at 1:52 PM
pissy mcslogbot 40
and what a looker of a house Sarah, Todd and a "few of his buddies" built upon the shores of the dead Lake Lucille.

http://www.bradblog.com/Images/SarahPali…

Is this the very same house and lake of the press conference, where the Loons and their political dreams go to die?
Posted by pissy mcslogbot on July 4, 2009 at 1:53 PM
41
Wow, her spokeswoman sounds just like her.
"What has she been offered?"
"Oh, you know, everything that you could possibly think of."
Jesus.
Posted by zapfizzle on July 4, 2009 at 2:05 PM
Fnarf 42
That house was the focus of a lot of speculation last year, as people wondered how a $500,000 house suddenly appeared there, when the Palins didn't have any money and didn't take out any loans. I think it's pretty obvious that it was built with supplies and labor from the sports complex. I thought that was standard operating procedure in Alaska; witness Ted Stevens' similar arrangement.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on July 4, 2009 at 2:06 PM
kim in portland 43
There is something off here. I guess we will have to wait and see. Perhaps, she really wants to focus on her children, but she could have finished her term to accomplish that.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPpCxY05dqs on July 4, 2009 at 2:12 PM
pissy mcslogbot 44
If the allegations about the house are true, wouldn't a sane person want to distance themselves from it while giving a press conference? One thats going to be linked to something fishy about it?

Or I guess not "fishy", 'cause in this case the fish there don't last very long. It's basically a liquid runway.
Posted by pissy mcslogbot on July 4, 2009 at 2:19 PM
45
You seem to be making the same mistake that lots of people have made when trying to suss out Palin's thoughts- assuming she is acting rationally and according to common sense. Palin is not rational. She is erratic and nutty, and prone to abrupt, ill-advised moves. This is just another one of her fits of pique.
Posted by I have always been... east coaster on July 4, 2009 at 2:22 PM
46
If it's a lesbian sex scandal, I wouldn't mind being next in line. And I'll try to recruit her into the progressive lifestyle as well. We'll have sex and then I'll take her to Whole Foods.
Posted by socalgirl on July 4, 2009 at 2:23 PM
very bad homo 47
I bet David Letterman was right.
Posted by very bad homo on July 4, 2009 at 2:35 PM
pissy mcslogbot 48
@45 perhaps: or she fashions herself after Titus Andronicus, inviting her enemies to over to her house so she can drain their childrens blood, crush the bones and feed the grisly meal to them in a final orgy of revenge and pathos.

Then again she just might fashion herself after republican barbie with white trash tweaker tendancies and an expensive wardrobe paid for by other clueless people.
Posted by pissy mcslogbot on July 4, 2009 at 2:38 PM
memorex 49
46
As long as you let the rest of us see the tape.
Posted by memorex on July 4, 2009 at 2:42 PM
Rhett Oracle 50
re Meg Stapleton: If only Anderson had said: "Meg, you're stirring clouds with a stick. Making some fucking sense!"
Posted by Rhett Oracle on July 4, 2009 at 2:59 PM
51
i love that picture you posted. she looks like she could bite yer nuts off with those choppers.
Posted by Valkyrie on July 4, 2009 at 3:38 PM
52
Until the next shoe drops, enjoy this story in the new issue of Vanity Fair -- it tears her apart. How prescient:

http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/featu…

Posted by Irena on July 4, 2009 at 3:57 PM
53
From the VF article. Get this:

She created a political-action committee—Sarahpac—with the help of John Coale, a prominent Democratic trial lawyer. But just months into its existence the pac’s chief fund-raiser, Becki Donatelli, a veteran of Republican campaigns, suddenly quit. One person familiar with the situation told me that Donatelli could not stand dealing with Palin’s political spokeswoman in Alaska, Meghan Stapleton, who has drawn withering fire from Palin friends and critics alike for being an ineffective adviser. Also with Coale’s help, Palin formed the grandiosely named Alaska Fund Trust, to defray a reported half million dollars in legal expenses arising from a slew of formal ethics complaints against her in her home state—prompting yet another formal complaint, that the fund itself constitutes an ethical breach. Onetime supporters have become harsh critics. Walter Hickel, 89, a former two-term governor and interior secretary, and the grand old man of Alaska politics, who was co-chair of Palin’s winning gubernatorial campaign, in 2006, now washes his hands of her. He told me simply, “I don’t give a damn what she does.”
Posted by Irena on July 4, 2009 at 4:05 PM
54
Getting back to the original question: The GOP regularly delivers sex scandals that were too much to hope for, so hoping for one more is not unreasonable.

That said, though, I agree with @12 et al. who say an ethics scandal is much more likely.
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on July 4, 2009 at 4:19 PM
Uriel-238 55
I think a sex scandal is far more fun to ponder, but also might show more that Palin is actually human, whereas her delvings into ethics violations and greed so far have demonstrated, rather, a lack of humanity, or at least a lack of an ability to relate on a human level (in contrast to human foibles).

So, in that regard, for her sake, I hope it's a sex scandal rather than either a) an act of tactical whimsy or b) a scandal of just about any other sort.

That said, a recorded lesbian encounter, or a tryst with Levi would be fappably tasty, as opposed to, say, some whitebread neighbor or a civics negotiation gone juicy.

I keep hoping (while sure to be disappointed) that Trig is short for Trigonometry. Poor kid.
Posted by Uriel-238 on July 4, 2009 at 4:57 PM
dollface 56
funny resig speech version:

http://politux.wordpress.com/2009/07/04/…
Posted by dollface on July 4, 2009 at 5:12 PM
Mahtli69 57
This is calculated. Consider that even if Sarah Palin was the best Governor in history, she would still be the Governor of Alaska, which may as well be Governor of Timbuktu. She's got bigger fish to fry, and her current job isn't helping her. All she gets out of it is occasional bad press, if anyone notices her at all.

If GW Bush taught me anything, it's to take seemingly imbecilic politicians who have a cult-like following seriously. The jokes about her are funny, but don't help. Speculating about a non-existent sex scandal doesn't help.
Posted by Mahtli69 on July 4, 2009 at 6:59 PM
Posted by Heather on July 4, 2009 at 7:19 PM
Lily Fluffbottom 59
Dammit, I hate this woman.
Posted by Lily Fluffbottom http://lilyfluffbottom.blogspot.com on July 4, 2009 at 8:04 PM
60
This woman needs to step quietly off the soap box and into the insane asylum.
Posted by JudT on July 4, 2009 at 9:37 PM
meowmeowkitty 61
Pleez Jebus, let it be a big messy ethics scandal!

I wish I could see Andy Cooper's face when she says "You know her by now" in that sugary way. You know he got all Vanderbilty, and looked down his pointy gay nose as if to say "As if!"

Posted by meowmeowkitty on July 4, 2009 at 9:42 PM
Violet_DaGrinder 62
Oh, totally. She was so anxious at her little "press conference". . . woman is freaked out about something. I can hardly wait to find out what it is. :D

I wanted to kiss AC when he said, "Honestly, I know nothing about basketball, all I know about is politics." And the look on his face as she continued to push the retarded analogy. <3
Posted by Violet_DaGrinder http://www.imeem.com/jukeboxmusic51/music/y1malqpG/prince-the-new-power-generation-featuring-eric-leeds-on-f/ on July 4, 2009 at 11:39 PM
63
Personally, Dear Daniel, I think that it's just that she wants to be President, and she knows that to build a national machine necessary to be a player in a few years, she'll need to get to the Lower 48 and get to work. Forget all the people that say that she has no future in politics - her megalomania makes any general consensus irrelevant. She's running. Thank fucking hell.
Posted by I'm Cool on July 5, 2009 at 3:01 AM
64
Meg Stapleton cleaned that homosexual's clock.

Sarah resigned so she could concentrate on her 50 state sweep in '12.
Posted by Lord Basil http://sarahpac.com on July 5, 2009 at 3:28 AM
Tim Stalin in Accounting 65
"And we still all have the same common hoop..."

So, not only is this a metaphor so tortured as to make Dick Cheney ejaculate with glee, but we seem to be dealing with a basketball court with one hoop. Basketball games must be very confusing at Palin HQ.

What I love is that this person is supposedly a professional spokesperson, someone whose job it is to have expertise in talking to the media so her boss herself doesn't have to answer questions. Given that, what does it say about the Palin team that her spokeswoman doesn't have any kind of answer whatsoever, not even a convincing bluff, to simple questions like "so what is she planning to do?", won't stop wittering on about hoops when Cooper clearly isn't running with the analogy and isn't even in the same timezone when Palin is at the centre of a huge media storm? The whole operation is so amateurish, it's be hilarious if she hadn't come as close as she did to running the free world.

Still, really hope she does get the 2012 nomination, because I can't wait to see the epic trainwreck a full-scale Palin capmaign could turn into. I mean, she was good enough value when she was on the national scene for three months last year, and that was as the second person on the ticket, heavily protected against the media and the real world in general. Just imagine 18+ months of Palin at the eye of the storm. Looking at the clips they played from the big GOP rallies, it struck me that maybe she really has allowed herself to become deluded that all these party faithful holding IOWA<3SARAH banners and wildly cheerign her every inanity actually represent the mass of the American public. If she believes that, then she probably thinks she can get away with anything, with the presidency hers for the taking.
Posted by Tim Stalin in Accounting http://www.facebook.com/portraitinflesh on July 5, 2009 at 4:15 AM
66
Oh, yes, please. I hope you are right, Dan.
Posted by sadini on July 5, 2009 at 5:36 AM
meowmeowkitty 67
I did some digging last night, and the ethics scandal around her house looks promising as "the other shoe".

Palin in jail is a wonderful thought. She can run a cult/campaign from there, like La Douche.

Posted by meowmeowkitty on July 5, 2009 at 8:10 AM
Just Say No 68
At least she can speak without using a teleprompter....just sayin'.
Posted by Just Say No on July 5, 2009 at 3:43 PM
Womyn2me 69
It as to be bad, because she managed to weather her knocked up single teen daughter pretty well.
Posted by Womyn2me on July 5, 2009 at 9:26 PM
70
Doesn't it always seem like she's coming apart at the seams? I can't quite understand why nothing so far has derailed her. Which makes this latest thing either ridiculously epic (if it is a sex scandal, I'm crossing my fingers for lesbian-- but I doubt it) or just the last straw on the camel's back.

Either way, the final implosion may be in sight. (Minus any twitching and smouldering, which could drag on a decade or so.)
Posted by quarkster on July 6, 2009 at 12:18 AM
Rob in Baltimore 71
I'm hoping for a scandal that involves me having sex with Todd.
Posted by Rob in Baltimore http://domaflipflop.com/ on July 6, 2009 at 6:22 AM
72
This morning Palin is citing media attention to her children as the reason for the resignation.
Attention has been merciless and cruel, and mostly not pertinent to any public issue.
Slog feels that anything goes when the target is someone who disagrees with us and whose views we find unsupportable but that is a double-edged sword.
Considering the attention Dan has shown to Palin's children one wonders what will happen when America's most provocative homosexual sex columnist/spokesmodel/parent's child runs into the difficulties all teenagers inevitably experience.
It will be unfortunate if DJ pays a price for Dan's snark.
Posted by Bread Cast on Water on July 6, 2009 at 7:29 AM
Tim Stalin in Accounting 73
@ #72

If you're posting a plea to leave people's children out of it, no matter how much we might disagree with them, you might want to try not ending with a veiled threat to someone's child, you hateful prick.
Posted by Tim Stalin in Accounting http://www.facebook.com/portraitinflesh on July 6, 2009 at 9:06 AM
Matt from Denver 74
Internet pussy alert @ 72.
Posted by Matt from Denver on July 6, 2009 at 9:32 AM
i'm pro-science and i vote 75
I don't think so. I think her family and herself have had it with all the controversy and negative commentary/humor directed at them. Which SHE DESERVES. Yet she'd have us believe our free market news media is mean, extremely liberal, unfair toward folksy small-town conservatives like herself

But I really, really hope there is a sex scandal here!!
Posted by i'm pro-science and i vote http://home.comcast.net/~theyellowdog/joerepublican.htm on July 6, 2009 at 2:18 PM
Eva Hopkins 76
Taken from this:

"[W]hen I asked Palin if she ever decided to pursue national office again, as she did less than a year ago when she joined Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., in the race for the White House, wouldn't she encounter the same political blood sport? Can such ugliness ever be avoided?

Palin said there is a difference between the White House and what she has experienced in Alaska. If she were in the White House the "department of law" would protect her from baseless ethical allegations.

"I think on a national level your department of law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out," she said."

****

I hope there is some kinda scandal & she blows away, because the sheer stupidity of almost everything she has ever, ever said, coupled with her admittedly great legs + weird levels of charisma = she's like Dubya, but better story & better looking. A Palin Administration would make everything we hated about the 2nd Bush Administration (those of us that did) look like child's play...you betchya.

Posted by Eva Hopkins http://www.myspace.com/lunamusestudios on July 7, 2009 at 10:43 PM

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