As you know, I bring lots of free books to Slog Happy every month, with the request that people write book reviews for all of us here on Slog. As you probably also know, many people haven't written book reports for us to enjoy lately; you people should be ashamed of yourselves. But Geni—wonderful, brave Geni—has stepped up to the plate and delivered a Slog Commenter Book Report of a book titled Love Will Tear Us Apart, by Sarah Rainone.

As always, you should remember that any errors or inelegancies you may find in the text are not Geni's fault. They are the fault of the editor. I am the editor.

dfaf/1246552621-0db155bdaa858af4_love-will-tear-us-web.jpgOK, I'll admit it. I grabbed the book because a) I was at Slog Happy and it was free, b) I was at Slog Happy and the books went fast, so I grabbed the closest one, and c) the hubris of choosing that particular title intrigued me. I thought, if nothing else, it should provide good material for supercilious mockery.

Little did I realize, the title was only the beginning. Each chapter of the book is named for an 80's pop song (some classics, some, thankfully, near-forgotten). In some cases, the chapter title works with the storyline; in others, the author has gone to some near-prepubescent-Chinese-acrobat-type contortions to squeeze it in there.

The structure of the book is slightly irritating; it's written as first-person entries from the perspective of several different self-absorbed 30-something yuppie brats. The setting is the wedding of two persons, Lea and Dan, who do not narrate any of the chapters. The narration is done by the wedding guests: Ben, Cort, Shawn, and Alex, all of whom are so fucked-up and narcissistic as to make one wish to beat them with sticks. As the narration continues, one realizes the six all met in the "gifted" program back in their hometown as kids, and each bemoans their subsequent ostracism by the small-town '80s caricatures inhabiting their respective classrooms.

Strangely, I actually kind of enjoyed the book. Granted, my expectations were pretty low; this was an unsolicited manuscript received by a book reviewer at a free newspaper, given out free to drunks. However, there is something deeply satisfying about reading about characters who are more fucked up than I am. I was never actually convinced any of them belonged in the "gifted" program, though—the writing is so self-consciously imitative of Bret Easton Ellis and the like as to seem utterly devoid of any vestige of literacy.

The story itself isn't bad. The problem is that there is no sympathetic character in the book. I thought initially that maybe the sweet little gay boy, Shawn, would prove to be the exception, but no, he turns out to be as selfish, vapid, and shallow as the rest. The most interesting theme running through the book is cocky, overcompensating, jock-archetype Ben's inability to orgasm without picturing Shawn, but sadly, that promising avenue is not explored, only hinted at. One tantalizing vignette featuring the Lost Dead Boy (every novel of this type requires a dead character who's more interesting than all the rest combined - why is that?), Jason, Alex and Shawn edging toward a three-way gets completely dropped. Meh to that!

I'd be interested to see what the author, an editor at HarperCollins, can do when she stops imitating Ellis and McInerney and writes in her own style.

Thank you to Geni for the very entertaining review, and I hope all you other Slog Commenters will send me your book reports soon.