I've been thinking about octopuses these days—not octopi, for reasons explained here—and found this disconcerting bit of information on Wikipedia:
Some cephalopods are able to fly distances up to 50 m. While the organisms are not particularly aerodynamic, they achieve these rather impressive ranges by use of jet-propulsion; water continues to be expelled from the funnel while the organism is in flight.
The reference for this troubling "fact"—a fucking octopus can fucking fly? and wrap its wicked suckers around your fucking face? and chew off your fucking nose?—is the academic abstract to a journal article that I, a mere dumb-ass, an-academic, am not allowed to read without paying for the privilege.
Can anybody out there in Slogland get me a copy of this article? Or any other scientific evidence—or even pseudo-scientific evidence—that this crab be your nose?
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