Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Books Authors Should Not Be Allowed on the Internet
Posted by Paul Constant on Tue, Jun 30, 2009 at 2:28 PM
After Alice Hoffman's Twitter meltdown, you'd hope that would be all the authors-behaving-badly business on the internet this week.
Sadly not. After Caleb Crain wrote a negative review of Alain de Botton's new book The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work in the New York Times Book Review, de Botton left a long negative comment on Crain's blog. It's pretty exceptional:
Caleb, you make it sound on your blog that your review is somehow a sane and fair assessment. In my eyes, and all those who have read it with anything like impartiality, it is a review driven by an almost manic desire to bad-mouth and perversely depreciate anything of value...You have now killed my book in the United States, nothing short of that. So that's two years of work down the drain in one miserable 900 word review...I will hate you till the day I die and wish you nothing but ill will in every career move you make. I will be watching with interest and schadenfreude.
Apparently, pampered middle-aged authors throwing tantrums is the hot new thing.
UPDATE: Looks like de Botton won't be apologizing for his blog post anytime soon.
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2
Can you link to the review in question? I want to use it as an example in my writing class of A) how to write a review and B) why my students should learn C# instead of Chaucer.
3
Paul fuck-face Constant shouldn't be allowed on the internet.
Shit-for-brain alternative weekly book writers posting inane ramblings is definitely NOT the new thing. Give it a rest you ugly piece of shit.
Shit-for-brain alternative weekly book writers posting inane ramblings is definitely NOT the new thing. Give it a rest you ugly piece of shit.
4
@3
Yes, how dare the Books Editor post about books. What?
The trolls are registering for accounts. Who knew?
Yes, how dare the Books Editor post about books. What?
The trolls are registering for accounts. Who knew?
9
@1, fyi, Alain de Botton is a dude (who may not know the difference between "depreciate" and "deprecate").
10
I think someone should post Alice Hoffman's phone number (maybe Alice Hoffman?) so I can tell her what I think of chirlish, bratty authors.
And this new one is pretty epic as well...
And this new one is pretty epic as well...
11
well, de Botton was right in one respect: upon first sight of his book, I thought, 'hey, this could be an interesting read about how and why people work!' After reading the review, I have no desire to buy and read it.
Rightly or wrongly, that review makes the book, and by extension the author, sound like a real douche.
Rightly or wrongly, that review makes the book, and by extension the author, sound like a real douche.
12
P.S. According to a commenter who follow's Alain's Twitter, Alain did the same "tell them what you think!" as Hoffman, though without the phone numbers:
http://www.steamthing.com/2009/06/review…
These guys have to grow up.
http://www.steamthing.com/2009/06/review…
These guys have to grow up.
13
@3, dude. That's off the hook. Paul Constant spends hours reading books and turning people onto them. For that alone he should get your thanks.
Of all the people to attack on SLOG, you really picked the wrong one.
I wonder what fnarf thinks of this?
Of all the people to attack on SLOG, you really picked the wrong one.
I wonder what fnarf thinks of this?
15
These authors need to accept that it's a tough industry, live by the (s)word, die by the (s)word, and grow the fuck up.
16
Oh God, at least he didn't write about Proust this time. I hate him so much for wasting that day of my life.
17
I love De Bottton. It was great seeing him read in Seattle a couple of weeks ago. And that book is really good. (I haven't read the review of it yet.)
18
@13
Everyone spends hours reading books and Paul dipshit constant couldn't turn on and light switch without help.
And he's a fucking moron. Have you read his posts? He's clearly a stupid person, and isn't qualified to critique mud puddle.
Everyone spends hours reading books and Paul dipshit constant couldn't turn on and light switch without help.
And he's a fucking moron. Have you read his posts? He's clearly a stupid person, and isn't qualified to critique mud puddle.
19
I get that authors would feel hurt by a bad review, particularly one that dings the sales of their book. If I'd spent two years slaving away on my art and I was counting on the royalties to keep my mortgage payments goint, I would be royally pissed at the double hit from a bad review. However, authors need to be adults like everybody else. Nobody is owed a certain amount of money or praise just for writing a book, whatever the quality. Lashing out in anger at a negative review makes you look like an asshole, particularly if you take the childish step of inciting harassment against the reviewer.
Here is a tip, for free, for people who feel upset about what somebody else said about them on the internet. Write out your retaliatory screed in Word or on a piece of paper. Make it as nasty as you want. Call him names, question his credentials, insult his mother. Write until you feel like your anger is satisfied (for now). Then put the letter away and don't look at it for at least 48 hours. When you've calmed down, you'll realize how childish you sounded. Plus you will have worked through your feelings without offending the reviewer and damaging your reputation.
Here is a tip, for free, for people who feel upset about what somebody else said about them on the internet. Write out your retaliatory screed in Word or on a piece of paper. Make it as nasty as you want. Call him names, question his credentials, insult his mother. Write until you feel like your anger is satisfied (for now). Then put the letter away and don't look at it for at least 48 hours. When you've calmed down, you'll realize how childish you sounded. Plus you will have worked through your feelings without offending the reviewer and damaging your reputation.
20
Dear Authors: A reputation for being a whiny, classless asshole will do worse things for your book sales than one negative review.
21
Caleb Crain is a deep philosophical thinker compared to how I judge books at the store. I read the synopsis on the cover/jacket, and if your synopsis sounds tired/played, I just put your book back. I would expect the same from readers if I ever published a novel, as well we all should.
Alain can go John Kennedy Toole and hang himself over it if it bothers him so much. (Yeah I went there)
Alain can go John Kennedy Toole and hang himself over it if it bothers him so much. (Yeah I went there)
22
The linked article has a new update.
UPDATE (8:29 A.M.): It appears this morning that Mr. de Botton actually is a little sorry. Starting three or so hours ago, he has been posting reflective little dispatches to his Twitter account, starting with a quote from Montaigne ("To learn we have said a stupid thing is nothing: we must learn a more ample, important lesson: we are but blockheads") and followed by an admission that the message he left on Mr. Crain's blog was "clearly an insane thing to write in a new public age." "I do apologise," he continued, "and hope you won't think ill of me forever."
A little later, after apparently searching his name on Twitter and coming upon someone who'd referred to his latest book as "subpar," Mr. de Botton wrote: "I won't bite, but do sum up what makes it sub par? Sorry about outburst."
23
@11,
Rightly or wrongly, that review makes the book, and by extension the author, sound like a real douche.
No, the author's response to the review is what proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that he's "a real douche."
Rightly or wrongly, that review makes the book, and by extension the author, sound like a real douche.
No, the author's response to the review is what proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that he's "a real douche."
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