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Monday, June 29, 2009

Savage Love Savage Love Letter of the Day

Posted by on Mon, Jun 29, 2009 at 3:06 PM

Dear Dan,

I am a bisexual woman. It has always been a fantasy of mine to have sex with two men at once. I've spoken to my boyfriend about this, and he has said he'd love to help me fulfill this fantasy someday but only under this condition: He wants the guy to give him fellatio. However, he does not want anything to do with pleasing the other man. Is this even a possibility? Would somebody agree to a threesome under these circumstances? It seems somewhat unrealistic.

Fine On Pine

This isn't going to be difficult, FOP. All you need to find is one slightly submissive bi guy who digs straightish dudes who don't reciprocate. And those guys—those slightly sub bi guys—are thick on the ground. (And straightish guys who don't reciprocate are thick on Craigslist.) Pull together an explicit personal ad that details your requirements—hot dude into banging a chick and blowing her boyfriend—and includes a line about what absolutely, positively isn't gonna happen—the boyfriend isn't going to blow him back—and post it to a few adult websites. This one might be a good place to start...

 

Comments (16) RSS

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rob! 1
Translation: she gives lousy head.

And secondary puzzlement that pops into my head: since she never mentions a MFF threesome, which her straight-ish boyfriend might dig, is it possible that this on-the-surface cosmopolite somehow came to the conclusion that "bisexual" means sex with two other people at the same time?
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on June 29, 2009 at 3:25 PM
Will in Seattle 2
This sounds like a fake letter thought up by someone to yank Dan's chain.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on June 29, 2009 at 3:27 PM
Urgutha Forka 3
My guess is that FOP is really, really young and really, really inexperienced and naive.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on June 29, 2009 at 3:32 PM
4
Let me answer this. Since Dan is now a member of the parent class and is ditching his gay friends, we must answer this through a child friendly lens. The bisexual woman must realize that fantasys are no fullfiled, they are instigated. Once you tasted blood, you will want more and more, until it wrecks your relationship. Guys get tired of sluts eventually. Back to the family friendly angle, though. If there is a child in your home, and we don't from your letter know that there is not, send him to a sitter that night and the many nigths that will follow once you have intigrated this into your daily living experiance.

best
xxx
Posted by the troll on June 29, 2009 at 3:34 PM
JF 5
what's it mean to be "thick to the ground"?
Posted by JF on June 29, 2009 at 3:40 PM
6
#5 unreal. I almost posted the same question. (oops I actually did). It means that you have run out of colloquialisms. Either that or your ghost writer is on vacation.
Posted by butt munch on June 29, 2009 at 3:53 PM
kresblamania 7
The problem is that her boyfriend may be setting up conditions that he thinks (from his straight point of view) make the realization of her fantasy impossible. He probably can't conceive of being willing to suck off another guy to get at a woman. It just doesn't sound like he's into the three-way for itself.

Let us hear back FOP when (as you surely will) you find your third. Did the boyfriend follow through?
Posted by kresblamania http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiI9Uc1uVtc on June 29, 2009 at 3:53 PM
Akbar Fazil 8
@5 and 6, you guys ever hear of this thing called google?

first link for search of "thick on the ground" http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionar…
Posted by Akbar Fazil on June 29, 2009 at 3:56 PM
Reverse Polarity 9
This could totally happen. This fantasy should be super easy to fulfill.

I can be totally happy sucking off a guy, and do not require him to reciprocate back if he's not into it. In fact, sometimes I prefer he doesn't. Depends on what kind of mood I'm in. I know tons of gay guys who feel the same way. I'm not into girls, so I'd be a poor candidate for a M/M/F threesome. But I think it would be pretty easy to find a bi guy who be happy to make out with a girl and suck off a guy, without requiring a reciprocal M/M blowjob.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on June 29, 2009 at 4:10 PM
Vince 10
If only I were thirty years younger! Oh well.
Posted by Vince on June 29, 2009 at 4:34 PM
Max Solomon 11
emphasis on -ish.
Posted by Max Solomon on June 29, 2009 at 4:59 PM
12
More posts about buttfucking, please.
Posted by Lester Patson on June 29, 2009 at 5:37 PM
eclexia 13
I hope she has a big inbox.
Posted by eclexia on June 29, 2009 at 8:54 PM
14
"Is this even a possibility? Would somebody agree to a threesome under these circumstances? It seems somewhat unrealistic."

Going to go with @3 here. Not all sex is huggy sharing and mutual loving (and it's hot). FOP doesn't seem to grasp that someone can want to give without expecting to receive -- which sounds like this is a threesome to pass on.
Posted by Gloria on June 30, 2009 at 7:14 AM
John M 15
I've done something kind of close, straight guy comes to very gay party at my house, lots of drinking and he wants to get blown by a guy on the condition that there is a girl there too and he gets to get it on with her too.

I was happy to oblige as was one of the faghags so a few minutes later all three of us hop into bed, we all fool around with each other, I blow him, he fucks the girl, good time are had by all, I wind of slightly traumatized that I just fooled around with a faghag to blow a straight guy.
Posted by John M on June 30, 2009 at 9:00 AM
Mike in MO 16
I was MADE for this. Any chance this letter came from the St Louis area?
Posted by Mike in MO on June 30, 2009 at 10:34 AM

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