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Monday, June 29, 2009

Sex If Those Condoms Could Talk

Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Jun 29, 2009 at 2:13 PM

This is utterly brilliant: an AIDS-prevention organization in Stockholm is passing out 100,000 individually-numbered condoms. The group, LAFA, is inviting Swedes who use one of the numbered condoms to visit a website and share their condom's story—just what and who was done—and inviting other Swedes to log on and read these stories. People will visit Kondom08 for the titillation factor, of course, but they'll be reading stories about safe sex practices while they're being titillated. The television spots are okay (they're here), but the posters for the campaign are sly and smart and they could never happen here (click on posters for larger versions):

Get it? The woman in the poster on the left had sex with the guy selling hats—and such a nice big hat he has too—and not with the small-hatted guy with whom she was traveling. Which means... this woman had sex with a strange man in a foreign country and cheated on her partner in the process. And aren't those just the sort of circumstances that require the use of a condom? So good for the unfaithful-but-responsible Swedish hussy! (Alternate interpretation: this woman's insanely cute boyfriend has a cuckold fetish and was tied to a chair in their hotel room and "forced" to watch his girlfriend get it on with the guy who sold him his tiny hat—so no one was cheated on, but it was still sex that requires a condom.)

In the second poster the groom got with his best man—his insanely hot best man (and his top, I'm thinkin')—sometime prior to the wedding. Which means... this presumed-to-be-straight groom had casual gay sex on or before his wedding day, another set of circumstances that require a condom—so good for the two-timing, closeted-gay-or-bi groom! (Alternate interpretation: the groom is bi and his bride knows it and digs it and she likes her fiance's insanely hot fuckbuddy so much that she asked him to stand up at the wedding—and join them on the honeymoon.)

Needless to say...

This AIDS prevention campaign couldn't happen here. It's hard to picture federal AIDS-prevention dollars underwriting an outreach effort that encouraged condom use and explicitly acknowledged that condoms are often used—often best used—when you're having the kinds of sex you're not supposed to have, i.e. when you're cheating on your boyfriend or doing your best man the night before your wedding. (Via Copyranter.)

There are condom stories up here... but I don't read Swedish. Anyone care to translate a few?

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Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

Dan, it is a myth that pot enhances creativity.

Posted by Hire a Real Editor on June 29, 2009 at 2:23 PM

In the first poster the young guy didn't have any money, so he let the vendor bone his girlfriend in exchange for a hat. Kind of a recession-era "Indecent Proposal".

Posted by DOUG.

on June 29, 2009 at 2:33 PM

"Dan, it is a myth that pot enhances creativity. "

Coming from a boring, dry troll.

Posted by you could just not read his articles, dimwit on June 29, 2009 at 2:33 PM

3 you could just not read his posts, dimwit

Posted by yeah, dimwit- you could just not read his posts on June 29, 2009 at 2:36 PM

Dan, Google will translate for you: http://74.125.127.132/translate_c?hl=en&… ://www.kondom08.nu/&rurl=translate.google.com.au&usg=ALkJrhh65pZej_Q2a-82ic-N24hCKH2hIw

Posted by diane b on June 29, 2009 at 2:37 PM

Damn it, I'm a MAN, not a NUMBER!

Posted by Will in Seattle

on June 29, 2009 at 2:39 PM

I don't think the link posted well. Google Language Tools (http://www.google.com.au/language_tools) is the service that translates. Not 100% perfectly, but enough to be readable.

Posted by diane b on June 29, 2009 at 2:41 PM

If these condoms could talk... they'd probably say, "Pffft! I'm drowning in this big dark cave!"

Posted by demo kid

on June 29, 2009 at 2:41 PM

i assumed just that the groom and best man both got laid on their wedding day. in fact, i assumed the bride slept with them both. guess you see what you want to see, eh?

Posted by spoiler alert on June 29, 2009 at 2:42 PM

oh the swedes. so sexy.

Posted by joel on June 29, 2009 at 2:43 PM

@9, Except they both used the same # condom. So, unless they shared a condom while fucking the same girl.... I mean, I guess weirder things have happened, but the gay sex explanation seems more plausible.

Posted by Julie in Eugene on June 29, 2009 at 2:46 PM

@9 - did you not notice the condom numbers over the heads of the "participants"? Since each condom number is unique, the fact that the groom and the best man had the *same number* indicates they were involved in the act at the same time.

Posted by diane b on June 29, 2009 at 2:46 PM

I just translated about 6 of the stories. They were all really lame.

Posted by The BTB

on June 29, 2009 at 2:46 PM

oh, i'm stupid. sad.

Posted by spoiler alert on June 29, 2009 at 2:47 PM

Dan, just because you are a sick-ass faggot does not mean that everyone is.

Posted by Dan Fagmo on June 29, 2009 at 2:47 PM

Auto-translation:

Condom code 6710

My wife thought that he was my best man. He was amazing. But it was before the marriage tough. I promise. Love, David.

Posted by pox on June 29, 2009 at 2:49 PM

What?! That would mean they reused condoms! Ewww....

Posted by jinushaun on June 29, 2009 at 2:51 PM

I think it's a great idea! But yes, it's a shame that ads like that wouldn't be possible in god-fearin', gun-lovin', gay-hatin' 'Merica.

Condoms are a total drag, so anything to make them less so is a hit as far as I'm concerned.

Posted by Urgutha Forka on June 29, 2009 at 2:52 PM

Notice in the first one, the hat seller has a BIG hat, whereas the boyfriend just has a LITTLE hat.

Size only matters when you're on vacation, is the message I took away.

Posted by Fe Man on June 29, 2009 at 2:54 PM

This isn't going to look so good when the only people motivated to submit their story got pregnant because their cheaply-made promotional condom broke.

Posted by w7ngman

on June 29, 2009 at 2:55 PM

Hot honeymoon story! Gets attention.

Posted by Vince on June 29, 2009 at 3:03 PM

I thought the first guy with the pink sombrero was gay, and he was with his hag who has low self-esteem (or a bad taste in men).

Posted by TheMisanthrope on June 29, 2009 at 3:06 PM

@11 - ewwww.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on June 29, 2009 at 3:30 PM

At first I felt upset when I saw these, since the ads capitalize on cheating to titillate their audience. I've gotten over it, though. Harm reduction is a good thing, and everyone, especially cheating bastards, should take precautions to avoid getting STDs.

Posted by Greg on June 29, 2009 at 3:40 PM

if you can wait till thursday night, my stepdaughter is coming back from sweden.

Posted by Max Solomon on June 29, 2009 at 3:53 PM

Is she hot?

Posted by Will in Seattle

on June 29, 2009 at 4:02 PM

Two comments from the translated website:
"Go upstairs and use a condom No 15049 ALL NIGHT LONG".
-Shouldn't you change condoms when he comes? To use one all night long, a free one at that, just seems overly frugal.

And for those commenting about the ad with the groom and best man, here's the groom's words: "My wife thought that he was my best man. He was more than that. He was more than that. He was amazing. He was amazing. But it was before the marriage tough. But it was before the marriage tough. I promise. Love, David. I promise. Love, David."

Posted by Enigma

on June 29, 2009 at 4:26 PM

David is obviously a gay boy trapped in a straight man's body.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on June 29, 2009 at 4:41 PM

I'm Swedish so I was able to read through a couple of pages of comments... I didn't find anything too exciting but I kind of liked this one: "It was my birthday. Some friends & I were sitting on swings and talking about the usual. No one was sober and we did the classic: we blew up a bunch of condoms and filled them with water and had a water balloon fight. There were probably a lot of people watching since we were all in white T-shirts."

Posted by trow125 on June 29, 2009 at 4:54 PM

Hey Dan, I know you're an old man and all and that this technology stuff is really confusing, BUT HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF GOOGLE?

They have translation tools!

I mean, you're a blogger so I know you are aware of the copy+paste ability, so here you go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://translate.google.com/

Posted by Keyboard Gat on June 29, 2009 at 4:59 PM

"Dan is an old man" lol lol lol
Maybe he and Dr. Ruth should do a senior citizen's column, and leave the newspaper editing to someone qualified.

Posted by He's already got veiny arms, yuck on June 29, 2009 at 5:40 PM

This is good Swedish practice.

Posted by emilythehaikubot

on June 29, 2009 at 6:24 PM

#2 is my hero!

Posted by freshnycman on June 29, 2009 at 8:14 PM

I like #15005, which seems to be from someone who was at a party, out on the balcony smoking, and heard a couple in the bedroom lamenting that they didn't have a condom, so threw one in for them. Imagine saying you needed a condom and having one fall from the sky. Is that what socialized medicine is all about?

Posted by chris in dk on June 29, 2009 at 9:18 PM

Did you notice the popular tags on the Kondom site? "USA" is one of the more prominent. They should translate for us!!!

Posted by idaho on June 29, 2009 at 9:44 PM