The enemies of equality are fascinated by the more extreme examples of gay sexual expression. They insist that homosexuality and monogamy are incompatible. They sneak into gay leather events like the Folsom Street Fair to take pictures, which they post to Christian websites. They appear on cable news to insist that all gay men consume feces. Gays and lesbians counter these accusations by insisting that we're not that different, that straight people are kinky too, that lots of gay people are monogamous. But you know what? They're right: Gay sex is totally fucking nuts.
Something about being gay facilitates the kinds of sexual adventures that our enemies can only dream about. Our struggle for equal rights under the law—for workplace protections, for an end to the ban on gays in the military, for marriage equality—is succeeding. Same-sex marriage is now legal in six states. Many Americans now see queers as no big deal, normal, almost boring. Which is why the religious right is working to shift the focus back to the dirtiest details of our sex lives. And honestly... our sex lives are insane. We know the real reason they're gathering in church basements to share photos taken at Folsom: They're jealous. We're having a blast, and it's killing them.
My Kinky Normal Life by Dan Savage "Yes, gay people bake cookies, we go to work, we take care of our families, we pay taxes. But let's be honest: We're 'depraved' at slightly greater rates than straight people are..."
My Kinky Polyamorous Life by Jesse Vernon "I have been at this long enough that the history of my love life has gotten super complicated—my friends' love lives, too. One night, sitting at a cluttered kitchen table in that moldy house with a carbon-monoxide leak and buzzing fluorescent lights, we decided to create a visual representation of the horrible mess of love and hate and broken hearts and lust that we had gotten ourselves into..."
My Nights at the Human Vending Machine that Is the Internet by Dominic Holden "I just got laid. And you know what? I could get laid again right now if I wanted to. And it's not as if I'm particularly good-looking or dating someone with an elevated libido—or dating anyone right now. It's that I'm gay. And the internet contains magical vending machines where gay men can order sex like on-demand, pay-per-view porn. Except they're real humans on demand. And the vending machine is free..."
My Nights Getting Tied Up (and/or Tying My Girlfriend Up) by Madeline Macomber "Without a bed frame and with most of my stuff in storage, I had to get creative. Ropes and restraints opened up a lot of potential, and soon I couldn't look at objects without considering how much weight and tension they could hold. Door handles, window pulls, drawer knobs, chair legs, railings, and even bicycles..."
My Alleged Night(s) of (Group) Sex by Adrian Ryan "The very first thing you must understand about gay group sex, three-ways, orgies, four-gies, gang bangs, and alleged 'circle jerks' is SHUT THE GODDAMN HELL UP! I've never engaged in group sex! Jesus Christ! The idea! I'm not even sure what you mean by the term! Or that such things even really exist! The second thing you must understand about group sex is that everyone lies about having group sex..."
My Kinky Relationship with Barack Obama by David Schmader "That DOMA brief was the second punch to the face. Obama was officially becoming the Chris Brown to my Rihanna. I tried to understand, but there's only so much explaining away and narrative spinning you can do before you start looking like a deluded lovelorn masochist..."
My Adventures Playing Both Fields by Eli Sanders "A straight friend recently asked me what I think about the amount of sex I had with women as a younger man, now that I'm gay. What my friend meant was: How do I square the fact that it wasn't just sex? He knew me. He knew I'd been in love with women..."