
[Originally posted yesterday afternoon. Moved up for morning Slog readers.]
The theme this year is Shocked and Repelled: Our Dangerous, Depraved, Sometimes Hilarious Sex Lives. From the intro:
The enemies of equality are fascinated by the more extreme examples of gay sexual expression. They insist that homosexuality and monogamy are incompatible. They sneak into gay leather events like the Folsom Street Fair to take pictures, which they post to Christian websites. They appear on cable news to insist that all gay men consume feces. Gays and lesbians counter these accusations by insisting that we're not that different, that straight people are kinky too, that lots of gay people are monogamous. But you know what? They're right: Gay sex is totally fucking nuts.Something about being gay facilitates the kinds of sexual adventures that our enemies can only dream about. Our struggle for equal rights under the law—for workplace protections, for an end to the ban on gays in the military, for marriage equality—is succeeding. Same-sex marriage is now legal in six states. Many Americans now see queers as no big deal, normal, almost boring. Which is why the religious right is working to shift the focus back to the dirtiest details of our sex lives. And honestly... our sex lives are insane. We know the real reason they're gathering in church basements to share photos taken at Folsom: They're jealous. We're having a blast, and it's killing them.
My Kinky Normal Life by Dan Savage
"Yes, gay people bake cookies, we go to work, we take care of our families, we pay taxes. But let's be honest: We're 'depraved' at slightly greater rates than straight people are..."
My Kinky Polyamorous Life by Jesse Vernon
"I have been at this long enough that the history of my love life has gotten super complicated—my friends' love lives, too. One night, sitting at a cluttered kitchen table in that moldy house with a carbon-monoxide leak and buzzing fluorescent lights, we decided to create a visual representation of the horrible mess of love and hate and broken hearts and lust that we had gotten ourselves into..."
My Nights at the Human Vending Machine that Is the Internet by Dominic Holden
"I just got laid. And you know what? I could get laid again right now if I wanted to. And it's not as if I'm particularly good-looking or dating someone with an elevated libido—or dating anyone right now. It's that I'm gay. And the internet contains magical vending machines where gay men can order sex like on-demand, pay-per-view porn. Except they're real humans on demand. And the vending machine is free..."
My Nights Getting Tied Up (and/or Tying My Girlfriend Up) by Madeline Macomber
"Without a bed frame and with most of my stuff in storage, I had to get creative. Ropes and restraints opened up a lot of potential, and soon I couldn't look at objects without considering how much weight and tension they could hold. Door handles, window pulls, drawer knobs, chair legs, railings, and even bicycles..."
My Alleged Night(s) of (Group) Sex by Adrian Ryan
"The very first thing you must understand about gay group sex, three-ways, orgies, four-gies, gang bangs, and alleged 'circle jerks' is SHUT THE GODDAMN HELL UP! I've never engaged in group sex! Jesus Christ! The idea! I'm not even sure what you mean by the term! Or that such things even really exist! The second thing you must understand about group sex is that everyone lies about having group sex..."
My Night Getting Peed On (To Say Nothing of My Nights Being Shaved, Being Beaten, and Being Fucked on Every Floor of a Park Avenue Office Building at Midnight by the Cuban Night Watchman) by Edmund White
"He has this completely nondescript face you'd never notice in a crowd—a balding blond in his 30s, a hard but un-worked-out body, and a foot-long kielbasa. Once I put my tux on for him. Soon we're stoned and I'm a disheveled mess of ruffled shirts and dangling bow ties and ripped-out studs and cuff links and big baggy boxer shorts around my gartered ankles and he's plowing all this crumpled finery..."
My Night with a Muslim Terrorist by Christopher Frizzelle
"Everyone has his thing. Mine is crazy people. His eyes should've been a clue—that vortexy feeling I got staring into them..."
My Kinky Relationship with Barack Obama by David Schmader
"That DOMA brief was the second punch to the face. Obama was officially becoming the Chris Brown to my Rihanna. I tried to understand, but there's only so much explaining away and narrative spinning you can do before you start looking like a deluded lovelorn masochist..."
My Adventures Playing Both Fields by Eli Sanders
"A straight friend recently asked me what I think about the amount of sex I had with women as a younger man, now that I'm gay. What my friend meant was: How do I square the fact that it wasn't just sex? He knew me. He knew I'd been in love with women..."
My Nights Being Watched—Or, the Sadomasochistic Life of a Musician by Gina Young
"Musicians make ourselves vulnerable, repeatedly, publicly. Musicians set up a scene with no idea where it's going to go. It's edge play with no safe word. And it's pretty hot..."
PLUS! Ellen Forney on how to have a decadent, mind-blowing, all-day threesome. A taste:

OH, AND: an all-queer Stranger Suggests and the full pride calendar.
The awesome photo on this week's cover is by the kinky genius Slava Mogutin, who's got quite the collection going: Remember this one? Or this one? You can find more of his stuff here.
Considering that the city funds and manages Seattle Center like a city park, then a park's rules for free speech ought to apply there, too. The 9th Circuit appeals court agrees:
Seattle Center rules aimed at addressing complaints about street performers making too much noise, blocking access or aggressively seeking donations are unconstitutional, a federal appeals court ruled Wednesday.The 8-3 decision by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals reverses an earlier ruling by a three-judge panel of the same court.
The original lawsuit was brought by Michael Berger - known as Magic Mike - a magician who performed at the downtown center. He sued the city and Seattle Center in 2003. Berger objected to regulations issued in 2002 that required street performers to obtain a permit, to wear a badge displaying the permit, to not aggressively seek donations, to limit performances to 16 designated locations and to not engage in "speech activities" within 30 feet of most visitors to Seattle Center.
Next someone ought to challenge the backward rules for holding protests and rallies there. Right now, a big free-speech event like gay pride is required to hire the Seattle Center staff and pay tens of thousands in fees to use the space. That, in part, is how Seattle Out and Proud got into about $90,000 of debt holding the pride festival there in 2006 (now a company holds the festival while SOaP only runs the parade). But those regulatory fees don't apply to gay pride or Hempfest in city parks; they shouldn't apply in Seattle Center—an underused concrete tundra that's empty most of the year—either.
The "F" word is not the "N" word, GLAAD.
And I saw it.

Honestly, I have no problem with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. It is exactly what it's supposed to be: a movie based on a line of plastic dolls, in which trucks turn into robots and vice versa and shit blows up for 150 minutes and sometimes Megan Fox's boobs do things in slow motion. Mission fucking accomplished. This might be the only film franchise for which Michael Bay is absolutely, preternaturally suited. I am not even mad.
You can read the whole review—and maybe answer some of my questions—HERE.

In addition to what I wrote earlier today about serial novels and the internet, this looks like a neat little idea: If:Book London is producing something called The Fictional Stimulus. I'm not sure I understand it, so I'll let them explain it:
You love books but are interested if sceptical about what ebooks, iPhones and laptops might do for literature? Re-ignite your passion for reading this summer - make sure you get if:book's FICTIONAL STIMULUS, an amazing experience in digital reading which will be delivered to you by email, download, webpages and post in six segments and added extra bits.EXPERIENCE THE STORIES OF TOMORROW TODAY!
Presented by novelist Kate Pullinger, including new writing by Cory Doctorow, Naomi Alderman, Kate Pullinger and poetry from Jacob Polley, Daljit Nagra, Eva Salzman plus new media renderings of classics by Rudyard Kipling, Williams Blake, Shakespeare and more, the FICTIONAL STIMULUS is an introduction to the future of reading in the 21st Century and beyond.
Produced by if:book, featuring newly commissioned work from our groundbreaking project MOTFOTHOTBOOK (Museum of the Future of the History of the Book) and designed by Toni Le Busque, the FICTIONAL STIMULUS is for bookgroups and individual readers who know what they love about books, and want to see what might be gained from new ways of reading.
Apparently, you have to sign up by leaving your e-mail in the comments of the blog post announcing Fictional Stimulus. If you're nervous about doing that without understanding exactly what you're signing up for, I'll keep you posted on how my Fictional Stimulus experience goes and whether you should sign up for it.
About one hundred people—mostly architects and Seattle gentry—jammed into the back room of Spitfire in Belltown last night to devour bacon-wrapped prawns and munch on chips at the kickoff for Marty Kaplan's campaign for city council. Kaplan, an architect who serves on the city’s planning commission, spoke, too. But his speech, while delivered with a rousing cadence, stuck to stale talking points. As Kaplan has done again and again, he painted Licata as a Viaduct-hugging, business hating, Sonics-evicting curmudgeon.
“We have an incumbent who doesn’t look to the future,” Kaplan said. “My opponent is living in the ‘70s.” He adds, “He took pride in kicking the Seattle Sonics out of town.”
But getting Kaplan to explain what he does support—rather than who he opposes—takes some probing. He briefly assailed the business and occupation tax in his speech, but when asked afterward what he would do about it, Kaplan said, “I don’t want to talk about that right now.” He did, however, jump on the recent Mayor Greg Nickels bandwagon in seeking to repeal the “head tax,” which taxes businesses for each employee who doesn’t take public transit to work. “It’s a disincentive to small business,” he says. Kaplan also supports a tunnel instead of a viaduct, and pushing for more development in South Lake Union, as does Nickels. “We should invest in housing and jobs; where we should do that is South Lake Union. Where is Nick on this? He is absolutely against this,” he says. So while Kaplan is the anti-Licata, his positions sounds a lot like the mayor’s. And it’s unclear that the council needs a yes-man for the mayor.
Kaplan, despite running on a pro-business message, will have a tough row to hoe in this race. Licata won reelection with 77.68 percent of the vote in 2005. Licata has also out-raised Kaplan, by $76,870 to $42,385.
But the competition could challenge Licata to become a stronger council member. While he has been a stalwart champion of accountability and criminal-justice reform on the council, Licata has been on the lonely end of plenty eight-to-one votes in recent years.
And the campaign for Kaplan, meanwhile, could help him build name recognition and run for council in future years. But he'll first need to figure out what he's for (that doesn't sounds like a mayor's office press release). To his credit: Kaplan is smart and charismatic—qualities Seattle could use more of in its politicians.
Unapproved pride flags are apparently prohibited in Seattle's best known landmarks.
The Daily Dozen Doughnut Company in the Pike Place Market was told on Monday to remove a 2'x3' pride flag because they needed prior approval from the market to hang them. The owner, Barb Elva, took the rainbow flag down Tuesday. She has since tried to negotiate with the Pike Place Preservation and Development Authority (PDA) and the Historical Commission, who basically run the market, to leave up the flags (they aren't signs, Barb notes) until she can fill out the requisite application and plead her case to the market's governing bodies. After all, Pride Week is this week and she has already missed the deadline to get on the agenda this month to get the signs approved.
Are we really to believe that, with all the visual clutter, around the market that every vendor has asked and received approval from the historical society to put up each sign, flag, post it note, and bit decoration? Is there a good reason why the pride flags had to be taken down or was this something silly and petty?
A call was placed to the Pike Place PDA and they are currently investigating the matter. The Historical Society has yet to comment.
UPDATE: Pike Place Market PDA spokesman James Haydu got back to me and explained that any sign or decoration that "alters the look or feel of the market" must have prior approval by the market's historical commission and is added to the tenant's lease. When asked why the market only approves new stall decorations once a month, he said that "The market moves organically."
Thanks to Slog Tipper Keith!
Post by news intern Alexander P. Brown
In his tearful admission this morning, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford said he had been unfaithful to his wife with a "dear friend" from Argentina, with whom he had "developed a relationship." "It began very innocently...," said the one-time would-be GOP hopeful, "in just a casual e-mail back and forth..."
No pronouns. No hints at a gender. Just a dear friend he met over the internet. Fine. If he wants us to fill in the blanks with our imaginations, so be it.
What do you imagine this "dear friend" to be?
UPDATE!: She's a she.
Here's an interview with Sanford that opens with a question about gay marriage:
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
Sanford was more than five months into his affair when he gave this interview—and you gotta love Joe shoving his tongue up Sanford's ass at the end of the interview: "We all love you, Mark." Get in line, Joe.
And Sanford—who ditched his four young kids on Father's Day in favor of his mistress—opposes civil unions for gay couples and adoptions by gay couples. Because every child deserves a mother and a father...

You'd think that you'd have no interest in a multi-part exploration of the Aquaman logo from 1941 to today, written by one of the best comics letterers in the business, wouldn't you?
You'd be wrong. If you're into graphic design, fonts, or the history of comics, it's a really fascinating read.
(Via Robot 6.)
Last Friday, officers on patrol in Lake City busted a teen for carrying several knives while he was hanging out near a community center.
According to a police report, officers spotted a group of teens sitting in the park behind the community center, which was hosting a hip hop night. Police smelled marijuana and contacted two teens they saw blowing smoke, the report says. Officers asked one boy if they could search his backpack, and found a foot-long machete in his bag.
The boy told the officers the weapon was for self-defense, the report says. When police patted the teen down, they also found a three-inch blade in his pocket.
The teen was driven to his home in Lake City and released to his mother. Police are requesting weapons charges be filed against the boy.
On May 15, a teenage girl was reportedly assaulted at the Lake City Community Center. That same night, police also detained and released a group of young men in possession of a bulletproof vest and suspected crack cocaine near the community center.
In other unfortunate-and-tenuously-connected-with-hip-hop-news, it appears that a man who was stabbed outside of a Fremont hip hop show was friends with members of local rap group Black Senate, who've already had plenty of problems in the last year. Find out more over on Line Out.
What if I want to be left alone, Joel?
Of course I'd rather be proselytized by a "gay-affirming" church than attacked by an anti-gay church. But what I'd most like—what many of us non-religious types would like—is for religious people and institutions to leave us alone. Don't attack our families, don't march under our windows waving banners "welcoming" us. Leave us alone. I'm aware of the Anglican church, thanks, and I know that I can get my gayness affirmed at some locations. I'm still not interested.
As for the "copious coverage" of anti-gay preachers in the Stranger and on Slog: we take swings at "anti-gay rights pastors" because they're taking swings at us. If they left us alone, we'd leave them alone.
And speaking of religion...
This is one of the window displays at Macy's on Fourth Avenue:

In case it's not clear, with the glare and all, those are two female mannequins (lesbian figurines!) with a kid (their kid!). Macy's supports gay mannequin parenting! Other windows feature more same-sex mannequin parents with their adorable mannequin children.
Happy pride week!
Last year, local horror publisher Cryptic Bindings published an untitled serial novel. It's now available for purchase, and it has a title—Billionaires, Bullets, Exploding Monkeys. It also has a cover that makes my palms itch, it's so bad. You can read the serial novel or buy a hard copy over here.
And Underland Press, which produced the very lovely and gruesome story about amputation cults, Last Days, has a new serial novel up, which they unfortunately have named a "wovel," or web novel. It's called Exit Vector. The difference between a wovel and a regular web novel is that you can actually vote on the way the story runs, like a Choose Your Own Adventure read by committee. For instance, the first installment ends:
“Sorry, don’t think so,” Billy said, more with regret than indifference, and he reached under his jacket and pulled out...
And your options are 1. "A black gun with many many many barrels" or 2. "Eyeglasses with attached mini-microphon (sic)"
You can vote until July 3rd. Someone is going to figure out how to do this sort of thing on a mammoth scale, I'd be willing to bet. It feels right for the publishing industry to go back to the Charles Dickens-era model of publishing: Micro-bursts of soap opera to keep people returning to your site. The books can be collected later for extra revenue. I'm surprised that the New Yorker hasn't done this already on their website with an up-and-coming author.

Wednesday, June 24th 2009: Northwest area restaurants will rally to raise funds for the victims of the L'Aquila earthquake. This tragic earthquake hit 6.3 on the Richter scale and devastated the central Italian region of Abruzzo on April 6th 2009 @ 3:25AM, taking close to 300 lives, hospitalizing over 25,000 and displacing more than 60,000. The L'Aquila earthquake is the deadliest earthquake to occur in Italy since 1984. On June 24, restaurants participating in the "Big Night for Abruzzo" will donate a portion of their sales to the victims of the L'Aquila earthquake. Proceeds will be given directly to: Polisportiva Paganica Rugby and used to help rebuild the sports and recreation facility lost in the devastated town of Paganica, the epicenter of the earthquake. Currently, hundreds of displaced youth in Paganica and neighboring communities have no organized sports or facilities because of the destruction resulting from the earthquake.
"I recall to your attention the extraordinary fact with which I began. To wit, that the human being, like the immortals, naturally places sexual intercourse far and away above all other joys—yet he has left it out of his heaven! The very thought of it excites him; opportunity sets him wild; in this state he will risk life, reputation, everything—even his queer heaven itself—to make good that opportunity and ride it to the overwhelming climax. From youth to middle age all men and all women prize copulation above all other pleasures combined, yet it is actually as I have said: it is not in their heaven; prayer takes its place."—Mark Twain, "Letters From the Earth."

Dying* is easy, monogamy is hard.
One day we're gonna put screw and screw together and realize that the problem is our unrealistic and unnatural fixation on monogamy and not that "some men just can't keep it in their pants." Human beings aren't wired to be sexually monogamous—male or female—and the feigned shock with which we're required to greet each new revelation of infidelity on the part of an elected official, a reality-show star, or a sports figure would be comical if the costs weren't so great. Elevating monogamy over all else—insisting that it, and it alone, is true love's only marker—destroys marriages and families and careers.
Which is not to say that anything goes and that people shouldn't be expected to honor their commitments and that there aren't folks out there who're capable of remaining monogamous over the three, four, five, or six decade course of a marriage. But think of all the people who've cheated and gotten caught. Now think about all the people who've cheated and gotten away with it. Our ideals about the place of sex within marriage are at war with who and what we are. They're at war with reality. Sex is powerful, relationships are fragile. Why on earth do we insist on pitting them against each other?
* Physically, politically.
In an unexpected move, the King County Council voted unanimously yesterday to push acting King County Assessor Rich Medved from office while he runs a campaign to become the elected assessor. The former assessor, Scott Noble, had resigned last week after being sentenced for felony vehicular assault. But denying the interim position to Medved could upset the office during its busiest time of year appraising properties—resulting in uneven distribution of property tax obligation—and slaps Medved in the face.
“I was surprised,” says Medved, who has served as the office’s chief deputy for the past six years. “It represents a deviation from the way they have handled interim appointments for other electeds.”
For example: When former King County Sheriff Dave Reichert left his post in 2004 for a seat in Congress, the King County Council appointed his deputy, Sue Rahr, to the interim position while she ran for the office; when County Prosecutor Norm Maleng died, the council appointed his chief of staff, Dan Satterberg, who later won the seat; and when Ron Sims left his post as the King County Executive, the council looked for a new candidate and picked—of course—his former chief of staff, Kurt Triplett.
But the council's bill essentially excludes Medved from being named interim assessor. The ordinance states that “it will be important for an appointed county assessor to focus on the operation of the department of assessments, rather than on the demands of campaigning for office.” It added that the process “would make it unlikely that the appointee would run for any elective office while serving as appointed assessor.”
The decision may be risky.
Switching assessors right now would be an especially bad choice, says Bob Rosenberger, who worked as a commercial appraiser in the assessor’s office for 24 years and is acting as Medved’s campaign manager. “Some appraisers will appraise at the high end of range and others at the low end, and the job of the [head] assessor is to make sure those are equalized so that you don’t have folks in their Rainier Valley subsidizing property owners in Medina.” He says, “It is really imperative to have a consistent philosophy in reviewing those appraisals” or people could end up “paying more than their fair share of the property tax bill.”
More, including added comments from Ferguson, after the jump.
I'm pretty sure that one in the middle is, you know.

From the American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore.

How Burger King's hyping its hot new seven-incher. Thanks, Copyranter.
Yesterday I wrote about two weird controversies banging heads at the Paramount on Monday night: Wurlitzer organist Dennis James, who played the organ at the Paramount's silent movies for 11 years, was let go by Seattle Theater Group without explanation. And the version of the film The Godless Girl that aired at the Paramount was a "goat gland" cut, which is a second cut of the film made with sound to capitalize on the "talkie" craze that was temporarily overtaking movies at the time. The film was shown without sound, though, so Godless Girl ended with actors talking silently for a few minutes, leaving the audience confused as to what actually happened.
Jason Ferguson, the Director of Programming at STG, said that he can't discuss why James was let go, because it's STG's policy to not discuss personnel issues. When I asked if there was room for reconciliation, Ferguson responded with a fairly curt "He is not coming back." By e-mail, James said that he doesn't know why he was fired. He explained: "I'm told by the musicians union local that employers are not required to give any reason whatsoever for cessation of services."
And what about the goat gland print of Godless Girl? Ferguson says that STG actually screens the original prints of the silent movies—the Godless Girl print that showed on Monday night was 80 years old—and "you don't know the exact print of the film" that you're getting until you've got it. When I asked if they expected to get the goat gland print, Ferguson responded: "It was not the ending we expected."
(Illustration of goat and rhino glands from the gorgeous blog BIbliOdyssey.)
NYT:
Documents gathered by lawyers for the families of Sept. 11 victims provide new evidence of extensive financial support for Al Qaeda and other extremist groups by members of the Saudi royal family, but the material may never find its way into court because of legal and diplomatic obstacles.A German intelligence report described bank transfers made in the early 1990s by Prince Salman bin Abdul Aziz and other members of the Saudi royal family to a charity that was suspected of financing militants’ activities in Pakistan and Bosnia. The case has put the Obama administration in the middle of a political and legal dispute, with the Justice Department siding with the Saudis in court last month in seeking to kill further legal action.
Gee... maybe the Department of Justice would go after the Saudis if they were pouring money into gay marriage in not Al Qaeda.
Then head immediately to Line Out.