Monday, June 22, 2009
TV / Celeb Today in Traditional Marriage
Posted by Paul Constant on Mon, Jun 22, 2009 at 10:35 PM
OMG! Jon & Kate are divorcing! But don't fret; their show will continue, with Jon and Kate filming segments separately. We will get through this, America. Somehow.
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1
How the hell can you get divorced when you have EIGHT KIDS? Tiny ones at that? Shit, in the real world they'd be so busy they wouldn't have time to hate each other or even see each other much. Reality TV 1, Humanity 0.
3
So, Jon and Kate have single-handedly ensured that eight children will not have "a mother and a father." Take that, gays. Most of you can only hope to prevent one or two kids from having both a mother and a father. You only wish you could screw up the lives of that many kids.
6
If there were ever any doubts (there weren't were there?) that it was all about the fame and money and not the kids, then this should prove it.
The kids will stay in the house and the 'parents' will alternate their time in the house with the kids, and will continue with the show, filming their segments separately.
The kids will stay in the house and the 'parents' will alternate their time in the house with the kids, and will continue with the show, filming their segments separately.
7
I wonder what it would be like if the Duggars got divorced? With so many kids it would be more like a secession than a divorce.
8
Maybe Kate should get lesbian-married to Octomom. Or Jon, but that would be boringly conventional. But think -- 22 kids! She's divorced too!
Just think of the great opportunities for further reality shows we're going to have in just a few years -- the youngest Gosselin twins are almost nine, so they should be getting into partying and drugs in, what, three-four years? And pregnant not long after that, unless they're in juvie, of course. No, wait -- a reality contest to see which of the girls can get pregnant by a prison guard first! Break new ground! Watch underage girls make potato wine in their cell toilet! And there's twenty more fucked-up celebrity kids coming up after them! Fuck, this is the jackpot!
Just think of the great opportunities for further reality shows we're going to have in just a few years -- the youngest Gosselin twins are almost nine, so they should be getting into partying and drugs in, what, three-four years? And pregnant not long after that, unless they're in juvie, of course. No, wait -- a reality contest to see which of the girls can get pregnant by a prison guard first! Break new ground! Watch underage girls make potato wine in their cell toilet! And there's twenty more fucked-up celebrity kids coming up after them! Fuck, this is the jackpot!
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