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Monday, June 22, 2009

Mormon Vampire Barbie

Posted by on Mon, Jun 22, 2009 at 2:32 PM

3b86/1245699813-ptruca1-6132064dt.jpgComing soon to a Toys R Us near you: Bella and Edward Twilight Barbies. The Edward doll comes with "a shimmering complexion and trademark gold eyes." Perhaps instead of chasing the real Robert Pattinson into traffic as some kind of weird sacrifice to teenage hormones, the ladies can just throw the doll at a taxi and call it a day.

(Via Bookshelves of Doom.)

 

Comments (9) RSS

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Baconcat 1
"Perhaps instead of chasing the real Robert Pattinson into traffic as some kind of weird sacrifice to teenage hormones, the ladies can just throw the doll at a taxi and call it a day."

Game over, Slog won.
Posted by Baconcat on June 22, 2009 at 2:40 PM
Super Jesse 2
ooooh, an albino anorexic cro-magnon uni-brow doll. I'll put it on the shelf with the others.
Posted by Super Jesse on June 22, 2009 at 3:28 PM
3
The best part is you can easily break the Bella doll's spine for real-life "giving birth to a demon vampire baby" action! Borrow Dad's pliers if your tiny hands can't get the job done!

In more sobering news, I predict a nationwide outbreak of friction-based forest fires caused by tweens dry-humping those goddamn things together.
Posted by Karla http://underthewagon.com on June 22, 2009 at 4:03 PM
Jessica 4
@3: I'm waiting for the fan-made special edition where you can chew her stomach open to reveal baby Renesmecharlilalijasperosalie Cullen.
Posted by Jessica on June 22, 2009 at 4:09 PM
michael strangeways 5
thanks a lot, Spoilers!
Posted by michael strangeways http://www.seattlegayscene.com/ on June 22, 2009 at 4:20 PM
Y.F. Redux 6
My 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' action figure can kick your 'Edward Cullen' dolly's ass.
Posted by Y.F. Redux on June 22, 2009 at 5:22 PM
Badger 7
Is Twilight Barbie groping Twilight Ken?
Posted by Badger on June 22, 2009 at 7:11 PM
8
@6 Buffy vs. Edward Cullen http://rebelliouspixels.blip.tv/file/226…
Posted by Cate B http://- on June 22, 2009 at 9:58 PM
tammy 9
@4: Renesmecharlilalijasperosalie Cullen??? AWESOME! :)
Posted by tammy on June 23, 2009 at 12:22 PM

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