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News & ArtsMonday, June 22, 2009
Film Congratulations, Fox Marketing Team!
Posted by Lindy West on Mon, Jun 22, 2009 at 2:36 PM
Your advertising materials for 500 Days of Summer managed to make me EVEN MORE ANNOYED by that stupid movie than I already was.
The front:
The innards:
In case you can't make out the words, here's what they say:
THE (10) BEST THINGS ABOUT SUMMER1. HER CROOKED SMILE
2. HER HAIR
3. THE SOUND OF HER LAUGH
4. HER HEART SHAPED BIRTHMARK
5. HER KNEES
6. HOW ONE EYE IS HIGHER UP ON HER FACE THAN THE OTHER
7. THE WAY SHE LOOKS IN MY CLASH T-SHIRT
8. HOW SHE LOOKS WHEN SHE'S SLEEPING
9. THE WAY SHE MAKES ME FEEL
10. WE BOTH LOVE THE SMITHS
Oh my god. The quirks. THE QUIRKS! THE QUIRKS! The quirkiness kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiills.
My short review of the film (which played at SIFF and opens July 17) is after the jump.
Aggravating and cloying from minute one, 500 Days of Summer feels like it was written by a bunch of marketing executives who just took a class on indie quirkiness at the Learning Annex. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (yes, yes, adorable, in adorable cardigans) falls in love with Zooey Deschanel (yes, yes, her giant eyeballs), but she does not believe in love. They flash backwards and forwards through the 500 days of their doomed and boring relationship, doing gimmicky young-people things like listening to this little indie band called the Smiths (who!?!!?!?!?) and trying to remember the tune to the Knightrider theme. I wanted to die.
3
I am so bagged out on indie quirkiness. Ooooh, a Clash t-shirt! Edgy! "Juno" made me want to barf, too.
4
Agree with EMMB. The Clash and Smiths were hardly edgy 20+ years ago. Is this a sign of how fake things are right now that the eighties are referenced as a time when things were real? Yikes.
6
best review ever! sounds like this movie is the red-headed step-child of garden state & juno. barrrrrrf.
7
thanks for the warning! sounds like this movie is the red-headed step-child of garden state & juno. i will stay far far away.
8
OMG, that is not the way someone who loves the Smiths indicates that they do. You don't just say 'I love the Smiths' and sing a line from There is a Light That Never Goes Out. Even the person that wrote that crap doesn't love the Smiths. This is not acceptable form of worship at all.
9
You know, I think Lindy is the best writer at the Stranger (which may be like saying Moe was the smartest of the Stooges), but she really shouldn't be criticizing others for their faux hipster quirkiness.
10
Everyone loves the Smiths.
That said, I'm looking forward to seeing Cherie and Whatever Works ... plus that Hamster film in 3-D (going to go for the IMAX version!)
That said, I'm looking forward to seeing Cherie and Whatever Works ... plus that Hamster film in 3-D (going to go for the IMAX version!)
11
but all the stuff that makes them annoying is why their relationship deservingly fails! it's a parable for our time against delusional indiequirkiness.
12
@4 says it best. For this list I would punch Joseph Gordon-Levitt in the nuts, if I thought he had any. I know Zooey Deschanel is every indie-geek's sweetheart, but when will people notice that she can't act? Her older sister is way hotter anyway.
13
The movie was fun. Nearly everyone who saw the screenings at siff had a good time watching it. Not a perfect movie by any stretch, but it was entertaining. I'm not exactly sure why you hated the movie so much.
15
additional best things about Summer
11. The gurgling noise she makes when I drown her in a bucket of vomit
11. The gurgling noise she makes when I drown her in a bucket of vomit
16
additional best thing about Summer
12. The 'Act Locally' t-shirt she bought at Anthropology that was made in China.
12. The 'Act Locally' t-shirt she bought at Anthropology that was made in China.
17
Now you know how we feel when we read your forced and strained quirkiness. "Annoyed" kind of covers it.
20
The point wasn't that she was cool since she had a heart-shaped birthmark. The point was that he saw the same object much differently after certain events.
21
Doesn't indie quirkiness include any political views? How about an opinion on agribusiness and the taxing of corporations? Anything other than views on products?
22
Who has a heart-shaped birthmark, I mean, c'mon! I have a birthmark shaped like a hickey, on my neck of all places, thanks God or whoever you are for making every first date a little more uncomfortable.
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