Oh, the wretched tragedy of it! Over-extending oneself! So many fabulous things to do, so only one little me.

For example: Tonight many things are happening, including THE WIZ. Yes, The Wiz—I know that '70s Nipsy-Russell-Michael-Jackson-Dianna-Ross nightmare movie version scarred you for life and made you feel all hollow and hopeless and rather gross inside. But this is the Y2Ks, dammit, and The Wiz is all grown up now, and somehow gay, Gay, GAY! In fact they bill it as "A Queer Multicultural Cabaret" featuring several drag queens, and everything else you need to know about it was written by a nice girl called Gina at Line Out.

I'VE GOT TWO TICKETS. I CAN'T GO!

Then there is The Columbia City Cabaret! A dearly loved revue of dazzling feats of cabaret, featuring/hosted by Tamara The Trapeze Lady. It's $25 at the door. And, you guessed it, I'VE GOT TWO TICKETS AND I CAN'T GO TO THAT, EITHER!

Do you want my tickets? Do you?

SO! Wanna take a Wiz...on me? (Who doesn't? Reowr!) Feeling like life is a Cabaret? Email me at adrian@thestranger.com, QUICK! First-come-first-serve, the tickets are yours! (Naked pictures accepted and may help your chances. Offer void in Idaho.)

The WIZ is at The Langston Hughes Cultural Arts Center, 104 17th Avenue South, 7:30PM.

The Columbia City Cabaret is at Columbia City Theater, 4916 Rainier Avenue South, 206.605.9920.Show at 7:00PM!

Write me! adrian@thestranger.com! QUICK.