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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Life Attention Sons and Daughters

Posted by David Schmader on Tue, Jun 16, 2009 at 10:54 AM

This Sunday, June 21, is Father's Day, and if your father is alive and you plan on mailing him something to commemorate the day, you'll want to do it by tomorrow.

Yes, Mother's Day and Father's Day are fake holidays designed to sell crap, but if anyone deserves a fake holiday it's mothers and fathers, who, at the very least, gave you life and the skills to remain alive long enough to read this.

One of the things I regret about being a non-kid-haver is exempting myself from that avalanche of empathy that falls on new parents regarding their own parents, once they realize just how fucking hard and scary it is to have a kid. I try to approximate such advanced empathy—using how I feel about my dog and iPod times a million, for example—but it only goes so far. Thus, my lifelong responsibility to send my dad some goddamn thing every Father's Day for as long as we're both alive.

To get you in the father-honoring mood (and temper that onerous example of "father's day art" above), here's some well-worn footage of 2009's Father of the Year. (Sure, the kid may be embarrassed by the YouTube exposure, but such embarrassment can't compare with having a dad who's willing and able to talk you through the hard shit, with love...)

Comments (15) RSS

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Jeez, David, put it behind the cut -- I can see Moses's wingwang, and it's NSFW. God, you people are perverts!

Sadly my father died several years ago. We had a very stormy relationship (at one point he told my sister that I was going to die in the gutter, which did seem possible at the time), but we got better towards the end, but there were many things still unsaid. I strongly recommend that if yours is still living that you connect with him on this day at the very least; you'll be sorry forever if you wait until after he's gone.

Posted by Fnarf

on June 16, 2009 at 11:08 AM

more like the "fun" shit, david. but, yes, he is a cool dad.

Posted by ellarosa on June 16, 2009 at 11:24 AM

I know it has been floating around the internet for a while now, I've seen it several times now, but can I just say that I LOVE that video.

Posted by Reverse Polarity on June 16, 2009 at 11:25 AM

Fnarf, your comment makes me think of The Living Years, which is, incidentally, one of my father's favorite songs. As cheesy as it is, I'm not capable of listening to it without some major tears.

Posted by Julie in Eugene on June 16, 2009 at 11:29 AM

Well, Julie, there's also Philip Larkin: "They fuck you up, your mum and dad; they may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had, and add some extra just for you".

Of course, Larkin's own father kept a Hitler doll on the mantelpiece that gave a Nazi salute when you pulled the string, and kept a large portrait of Hitler in his office in Coventry Town Hall, right up until the day the Nazis bombed Coventry flat. So, he had what you might call "issues".

Posted by Fnarf

on June 16, 2009 at 11:35 AM

O'Reilly had the dad who made this video on his show, and tried to claim that he was exploiting his kid, and you know, was basically evil. Which is just another example in the unending list of reasons why Bill O'Reilly is an asshole.

Posted by nat on June 16, 2009 at 11:48 AM

Oh good Lord... why'd you have to post something about Father's Day? I haven't spoken to mine in over a year and am usually just fine with that. But now... argh!

Posted by Jimbo on June 16, 2009 at 11:50 AM

Already celebrated it two weeks ago.

Real dads don't do holidays when The Man tells them to.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on June 16, 2009 at 11:50 AM

My father bailed when I was two. Since then, I have seen him exactly twice in forty years. He sent me a card for my birthday in May this year. I still have not opened it.

Fuck a dad. My mom gets all the credit on Father's Day, as well as the accompanying accolades.

Posted by kerri harrop

on June 16, 2009 at 11:51 AM

I accidentally gave all my regards to my dad this past Sunday. He claims that exempts me from further sentiments being thrown at him this week but I'm pretty sure he's wrong. He's a good egg and I don't mind thanking him twice.

Posted by girlstyle on June 16, 2009 at 11:57 AM

My dad's great; the only problem is that I already gave him a new set of pool balls for his birthday, and he hates ties. Hmm.

Posted by Greg on June 16, 2009 at 12:32 PM

dads don't want ties, they want you to have a good life.. and would love it if you would share it.. mom's too. I'm a single mom, and am touched to hear you guys acknowledging parents. ..I miss my sons..maybe just make some time available.. not just on the "day"?

Posted by acuteally on June 16, 2009 at 2:06 PM

We really don't want ties.

This year I got a rad belt. They were out of the ones that had two skulls on em, but it's still cool.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on June 16, 2009 at 2:07 PM

What if your dad's a right-wing nut who stopped talking to you after you came out, and also thinks we should nuke all the Muslims and let God sort 'em out? I act polite when I have to be around him — is that enough of a gift, or do I have to get him a card too?

Posted by john t on June 16, 2009 at 2:19 PM

if god's already sortin', he wouldn't mind if he nuked the wingnuts, too. it's just a bit more sortin', and it's not like it would take God all that much time, right? Dude laid down some serious physics over 6 days and snoozed. What'd wingnut dad get done this week? The TV Guide crossword? ha! not likely.

sincerely,
diggum

Posted by diggum on June 16, 2009 at 3:12 PM