Friday, June 12, 2009
Life Carrie Prejean: What's Next?
Posted by David Schmader on Fri, Jun 12, 2009 at 10:08 AM
Sometimes I almost feel sorry for poor Carrie Prejean, a pretty young woman shoved into the front lines of the culture war simply by answering a question at the Miss USA Pageant. But then I remember what an emphatically idiotic trash heap she's repeatedly revealed herself to be, and I get over it.
The latest hubbub, referenced earlier this morning by Bethany, involves Prejean's insistence that her recent firing from the post of Miss California was a "set-up," designed as punishment for her anti-gay marriage remarks, and having nothing to do with her ongoing failures to do her job correctly. (These failures are well-documented here.)
So, having been supported by Donald Trump in her right to free speech, then fired by Donald Trump for her inability to do her job right, Carrie Prejean is left a pretty young unemployed woman with a troubled track record and few supporters. Prejean's primary support continues to come from the National Organization for Marriage, the anti-gay marriage bigots who latched onto Prejean immediately after anti-gay marriage statements, and continue to sing her praises. NOM's hilariously delusional reaction to Prejean's firing:
"Hollywood hates Carrie. First they abuse her, then they try to get her to recant, then they threw mud, and now they are doing what they wanted to do from day one: Get rid of Carrie. This cover story about a contract dispute doesn’t pass the smell test. Americans aren’t fooled that easily. God knows, and we know, the truth about Carrie: She’s a young woman of great beauty who chose truth over the glittering tiara that Hollywood offers," said Brian Brown, Executive Director for NOM. "Of course they will try to punish her, but we know she will be fine in the end, because her values are in the right place.""Hollywood will dance its tribal war dance over her body—the hatred generated against her has been extraordinary—but Carrie will be free to define her own mission and message from now on. Congratulations," stated Maggie Gallagher, President for NOM.
With NOM and other anti-marriage-equality folks in her corner, Prejean may likely choose to "define her own mission" by becoming a full-time spokesmodel for the Religious Right, which is one of the few ways she'll be able to remain paid and in the spotlight just for being "who she is." (Pissing off gays and friends of gays and Donald Trump while making headlines with your shitty work habits is no way to commence a career as a secular showbiz personality.)
However, by permanently aligning herself with the Religious Right, Prejean would be throwing down the proverbial gauntlet to the nation's pornographers, who are sure to start inundating this unemployed-former-beauty-queen-with-snazzy-new-boobs-and-nude-photos-in-her-past with offers to pose and perform for the XXX world.
I don't like to think of making pornography as a punitive measure, but for Carrie Prejean, I'll make an exception, and now I ask you, dear readers:
What job most likely lies in Carrie Prejean's future?
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1
Trophy wife, for sure. She'll marry someone with money. Then have children that she pays someone else to raise, but she'll make sure that those kids grow up knowing the opposite marriage is the only marriage in God's eyes.
2
I hear all you need to be up there is good looking and you're in!
No other qualifications required!
3
And she still - after all this time - misses the point. Her statement that well, you know "tolerance is a two-way street" shows that she doesn't and won't ever get it until she's forced to. How does this woman define tolerance?
Christians have their own Christian rock, their own Christian teevee channels, their own Christian bookstores. Jesus, pretty much anything comes in a Christian flavor.
But why not Christian porn? It could feature Christian themes (polygamy, slavery, oppression of women, indiscriminate slaughter of innocent people, intolerance, bigotry, etc).
Or, Prejean could just give out blowjobs to all the people who oppose the inevitable repeal of Prop 8.
Either way, she's over.
"...chose truth over the glittering tiara that Hollywood offers"
"...chose truth over the glittering tiara that Hollywood offers"
Don't take this to mean that I'm a fan of pageants (I don't think I've even watched on on TV from beginning to end.) but by making it look like Prejean was the runner up to Miss America gives her a level of credibility that she doesn't deserve.
11
Her roots and eyebrows beg to differ, she isn't a blonde.
That said, I don't know why she is being discussed either.
13
I stand by a previous, mocked comment that she has a Rondo Hatton-ish jawline which makes her face look mean when she's not smiling.
24
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