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News & ArtsThursday, June 11, 2009
City / ??!! The Westboro Baptist Circus Comes to Town
Posted by David Schmader on Thu, Jun 11, 2009 at 9:13 AM
As I wrote in this week's news section, this weekend gives Seattleites the rare opportunity to see the hurricane of idiocy known as the Westboro Baptist Church—Fred Phelps's fag-and-Jew-hating, funeral-picketing, casualty-of-war celebrating gaggle of asshats, and America's most theatrical child abusers (see photo, and maybe next year, Jon and Kate!)—up close, as WBC loonies picket nine (!) Seattle locations, from the Jewish Community Center to Garfield High School (?!?).
The full picket schedule is here and it is amazing. I excerpted a sampling of the "explanatory text" accompanying each picket locale in the news blurb, but I didn't have room to share the most amazing chunk of text, explaining WBC's reasons for picketing Seattle Pacific University graduation ceremony (bolds and line breaks mine, the rest is sic):
Commence Ur trip to hell! We will be on hand at your graduation to ask a few things and point out a few things. Why do you Methodists want to pretend you are going to heaven? You know you threw out the truth of God many years ago. Now you are all about works righteousness, good deeds and such. You have forgotten your first love and gone the way of all the idolatrous perverts around you. Get real, and at least just admit you are all about appearances and could not care less about what God requires of you. The rate of divorce, remarriage and fornication (fag and otherwise) is extremely high amongst your membership. You are in big trouble for this and because you refuse to obey God. This song is really most fitting for you all (Sing it to 50 ways to leave your lover):The problem is easy if you want to obey God.
Put away your filthy idols and hear ye the rod.
But you love all your sins and follow lying frauds,
There must be 50 ways to eat your baby.
Just give 'em to the Pope, dope; pass 'em through the fire - liar.
Fornicate and divorce of course, just listen to me.
Put 'em on a bun, son. Don't forget the onion.
Make 'em take the mark, Clark - and eat your babies.Yes Obama will make official what you religious hypocrites have been doing for several decades now - so get that shocked look off your faces! Deuteronomy 28:53 And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the LORD thy God hath given thee, in the siege, and in the straitness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee: all because you are rebels, and refuse to obey God! AMEN!
If you'd like to gawk at the freaks with a group of equally horrified citizens, Seattle OUTprotest will be offering a "peaceful community response" to WBC's hate parades on Sunday morning. For full protest info, visit www.seattleoutprotest.org.
In the meantime, I look forward to Garfunkel & Oates' cover of "50 Ways to Eat Your Baby."
3
Maybe they have beef with a certain Garfield school, but aren't sure which one it is, since we have over 9,000 spread out across our wonderful nation. Or maybe they hate bulldogs, or have beef with bulldogs, but aren't sure which school with bulldogs as their mascot to picket, since we have over 9,000 spread out across our wonderful, original nation.
4
Well, they got one thing right:
so get that shocked look off your faces!My jaw hit the floor at "There must be 50 ways to eat your baby."
5
This is good. An appearance by the Westboros at Garfield should dramatically reduce the number of students there who succumb to the blandishments of regular Christianity. Westboro should be EVERYWHERE, singing their lovely, loving, intellectually coherent songs. Christianity would be gone within a generation.
6
The SJCC in Seattle isn't actually the community center; it's just a nursery school. A very good, one actually--my kid goes there. The main SJCC is on Mercer Island.
Temple Beth Am is next door, but their Shabbat service isn't until 8pm. So all they'll be protesting, should they show up, are a closed nursery school and one or two old ladies coming to help set up before the 8pm service.
Geniuses, these Westborons are.
Temple Beth Am is next door, but their Shabbat service isn't until 8pm. So all they'll be protesting, should they show up, are a closed nursery school and one or two old ladies coming to help set up before the 8pm service.
Geniuses, these Westborons are.
7
These freaks feed on attention. May I direct you to this sage advice:
To stop those monsters 1-2-3
Here's a fresh new way that's trouble free
It's got Paul Anka's guarantee...
Guarantee void in Tennessee!
Just don't look!
Just don't look!
Just don't look!
Just don't look!
To stop those monsters 1-2-3
Here's a fresh new way that's trouble free
It's got Paul Anka's guarantee...
Guarantee void in Tennessee!
Just don't look!
Just don't look!
Just don't look!
Just don't look!
9
I never knew they were so Anti-Semetic. Then I came to realize they just hate everyone that isn't them. Good job!
10
I'm getting really tired of "Peaceful community responses" to crazy, hateful, bullshit. When are the abortion clinics going to start shooting back?
11
Since when is it acceptable for Christians to make assumptions about who their loving deity hates? So arrogant.
12
This isn't a church -- it's a parody of religious zealotry. Why hasn't everybody else figured this out by now? You're getting upset over a theater troupe. And you know who else likes theater troupes, right?
13
@6:
Wouldn't that also be the case with Congregation Beth Shalom, which they're scheduled to picket at on a Sunday morning? If they actually wanted to protest to the congregation, shouldn't they have picked another day - like the one when people would actually be showing up for temple?
Or is my scant knowledge of Judaism somehow in error with regards to when their sabbath occurs?
Wouldn't that also be the case with Congregation Beth Shalom, which they're scheduled to picket at on a Sunday morning? If they actually wanted to protest to the congregation, shouldn't they have picked another day - like the one when people would actually be showing up for temple?
Or is my scant knowledge of Judaism somehow in error with regards to when their sabbath occurs?
14
@12:
It's only a parody if the people doing it KNOW it's a joke. I honestly think the WBC folks are quite sincere about their "witnessing".
It's only a parody if the people doing it KNOW it's a joke. I honestly think the WBC folks are quite sincere about their "witnessing".
15
People can be brainwashed into believing the most vicious and absurd nonsense. This is why it's so important to make sure we fund education.
16
@10 my main concern with that would be the possibility of escalation. It'd also feed their contrived victim/martyr complex.
Still, don't we have some layabout anarchos around anymore who can at least throw something smelly at them?
What's happening in Ecotopia these days. Get out of your damn vegan co-ops once in a while kids!
Still, don't we have some layabout anarchos around anymore who can at least throw something smelly at them?
What's happening in Ecotopia these days. Get out of your damn vegan co-ops once in a while kids!
17
This needs to be embraced. Think about the way Obama treats Limbaugh. These are the best thing ever to happen to gay rights.
18
I really do think they are a parody group. Theres no way they can be serious.
Anyone down for some paintballing?
Anyone down for some paintballing?
19
Any way we can hook these guys up with Critical Mass for a rolling protest on a freeway and take take care of 2 problems at once?
20
I feel like we need to fight crazy with crazy. What about the crazy homeless people ranting and raving around Westlake? Can we just shuttle a bus of these people to go around following the WBC people? The incoherent ramblings of both groups may cause a singularity in the time-space continuum, ripping a hole in the fabric of this dimension…swallowing both groups, never to be heard from again.
Or wait, maybe I just dreamed that.
Or wait, maybe I just dreamed that.
22
@20 Be sure to include the crazy lady who walks around Pine at 2am screaming and yelling at the top of her lungs.
24
Didn't Kelly O post that video documentary of the WBC some time ago. That might be an appropriate link.
Also, what happened to the search function? Or, did I just dream that?
Also, what happened to the search function? Or, did I just dream that?
25
@22
I'll raise you evil Santa Claus-looking guy that yells shit at my building from 6pm-10pm at 6th and Pine.
I'll raise you evil Santa Claus-looking guy that yells shit at my building from 6pm-10pm at 6th and Pine.
27
I feel so bad for those kids. Their minds are like wet cement being crapped on by these adults. They have zero control over it and will most likely end up just like their parents.
29
I should make some signs that look just like theirs that say things like "GOD DOESN'T EXIST" and "GOD HATES FRED PHELPS" and try to blend in. Maybe try some non-sequiturs like "GOD HATES BANANA TRICERATOPS".
30
I lived in Topuka Kansas when the the Phelps Family Cavalacade of Horror began their international jihad and crusade for publicity and all I can add is, that thanks to the Westboro Church and their graphic signs, every child born in Topeka since 1991 learns at a very young age the biomechanics of homosexual sex.
34
an amazing garfield student has organized this event:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=hom…
7:10am- 7:40am at garfield high school.
i encourage everyone to show up and support the school and the students behind this, and show westboro baptist church that they could not be less welcome in seattle.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=hom…
7:10am- 7:40am at garfield high school.
i encourage everyone to show up and support the school and the students behind this, and show westboro baptist church that they could not be less welcome in seattle.
35
I tried to sing that to "50 ways" but it was clunky at best and just fell apart comepletely when I tried to cram in "Deuteronomy 28:53". My office mates are not sure what to think of me at this moment.
36
@20:
Well, Tent City IS currently set up about two blocks from the front entrance to Garfield -
Just sayin'...
Well, Tent City IS currently set up about two blocks from the front entrance to Garfield -
Just sayin'...
37
Has anyone noticed that their protest schedule has been updated to show only ONE protest in Seattle??
38
I'm still kinda torn between ignoring them (which I'm sure is the correct thing to do, but, unless we ALL agree to it, it's just not gonna work) and going out to Garfield Monday morning to show my support for the students.
Yes, they're a freak show, they're not Christians, they're not a church. Yes, all they want is publicity for their crazy. Yes, I feel bad about wanting to play their game and giving them more eyeballs. But at the same time.... How often does an opportunity like this arise in Seattle? This may be our only chance to look at these humans, face-to-face. So....
I'm planning on getting up obscenely early Monday morning (the hootenanny is scheduled for 7:10am, right?).
Yes, they're a freak show, they're not Christians, they're not a church. Yes, all they want is publicity for their crazy. Yes, I feel bad about wanting to play their game and giving them more eyeballs. But at the same time.... How often does an opportunity like this arise in Seattle? This may be our only chance to look at these humans, face-to-face. So....
I'm planning on getting up obscenely early Monday morning (the hootenanny is scheduled for 7:10am, right?).
39
I think a good counter protest would be a farting contest. Where you set up some sort of PA system across the street, and then contestants fart into a microphone, and they are judged by a panel on a variety of criteria. Winner gets a prize. Also there should be a marching band.
I feel strongly that the only response to these people is absurd stupidity. I want them to know that I consider them to be a kind of farting contest.
I feel strongly that the only response to these people is absurd stupidity. I want them to know that I consider them to be a kind of farting contest.
42
Throwing eggs? How gauche. Illegal, too. No, if you're going to be there, you should honor the spirit of the occasion by wearing a clown suit. Or at least going in drag (bet those nut-jobs would love that).
43
Great job! This post is exactly what Fred Phelps wants. You're helping spread his message and hate and drawing attention to his insanity. He wins. We lose.
45
Louis Theroux did a documentary on these folks, The Most Hated Family in America. It is fascinating. And sad. And you can watch it on Google Video: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=…
47
They want you to get so upset with them that you confront them. If you have a hissy fit at them, they win; they achieve their objective, which is to upset you.
We will win if we stay calm, show them that there's more love than hate in Seattle, and have a teriffic party.
Let's show those poor abused kids that we're having much more fun.
We will win if we stay calm, show them that there's more love than hate in Seattle, and have a teriffic party.
Let's show those poor abused kids that we're having much more fun.
48
I think everyone should dress up as clowns as a counter-protest and carry signs that say: "Clowns 4 Hate"
Folks will get the point and really see how ludicrous Phelps' caravan of hate is....
Folks will get the point and really see how ludicrous Phelps' caravan of hate is....
51
god blew up the shuttle? and this is supposed to be a protest *in favour* of that god?
Why not cut to the chase and just say "god is an ignorant violent bullying bigot - who doesn't love that?"
Plus these idiots dont even think people can convert to their way. That'd be "works" after all!
Why not cut to the chase and just say "god is an ignorant violent bullying bigot - who doesn't love that?"
Plus these idiots dont even think people can convert to their way. That'd be "works" after all!
52
Hey I heard there's a protest going on tomorrow. It's supposed to be really big! I'm definitely going.
Here's the site: Seattleoutprotest.org
and the facebook event group: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=87…
Here's the site: Seattleoutprotest.org
and the facebook event group: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=87…
53
We SHUT THEM DOWN at Garfield. People who admitted to not fully supporting the gay community didn't even think twice about waking up an extra forty minutes early and standing out there to show our love. We had singing, laughing, and dancing and even though plenty of people wanting to physically wipe that smug smile off there face, I think we did a good enough job of that with our extreme unity.
they say we're all doomed to hell
well
hell has never been so inviting. cant wait
they say we're all doomed to hell
well
hell has never been so inviting. cant wait
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