Slog
News & ArtsTuesday, June 9, 2009
Sex Re: Um....
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Jun 9, 2009 at 12:04 PM
Unless you're in the habit of using stranger's toothbrushes, Dave, or you pick your toothbrushes up secondhand, I don't see why that episode of Obsessed should bother you so much. Yes, that woman put her toothbrush to disgusting off-label use. But it's not like you're ever going to brush your teeth with her toothbrush, right? So why take it so personally? If you're looking for a reason to fear your toothbrush, Dave, check out this "Savage Love" column from a few years back:
There are freaks out there—and I use the word "freak" in the sex-positive sense—who get off on leaving pubes, photos, semen, and other sexually charged ephemera in places where innocent bystanders will happen upon them.... I have a letter in my inbox from a man who indulges a similar impulse when he uses his friends' bathrooms. But he doesn't just leave his pubes behind: "I quickly rub one out," he writes, "and then put a tiny amount of my come on my friends' toothbrushes. I know it's wrong, and I feel bad about it, but I can't stop."
I kept my toothbrush in a secret hiding place for a year after reading that letter.
1
At lunch I am going to go buy a new toothbrush and when I get home I am hiding it... thanks for the tip. I will never be the same.
2
It's not the off-brand use of the toothbrush, it's the depth and force of the use, which caused enough blood loss she'd needed two blood transfusions!
That is the worst exclamation point ever.
That is the worst exclamation point ever.
5
um....she wasn't just using the toothbrush, but scraping the lining of her rectum with it until bloody. FOR TWO HOURS. EVERY TIME SHE HAD A BM.
There is a difference.
There is a difference.
6
If you're keeping your toothbrush in the bathroom, you may as well be using one that’s been used to scrub an anus or one smeared with ejaculate.
7
Or, to put it another way, being upset about Obsessed isn't about what's happening to the toothbrush, it's about what's happening to the rectum. (FOR TWO HOURS! EVERY TIME SHE HAS A BM!!!)
9
That column is burned in to my brain until the end of time. It was the first time I thought "holy shit, being a sex advice columnist must be harder than I thought. How the fuck do you respond to something like that?"
10
Is disgusting really the right word to describe this? Go ahead and wince if it sounds like a painful procedure to you. It's a little surprising to find so much fear of shit here. She was using her own brush wasn't she? Try rimming someone you love tonight. It'll be good for your mental health.
11
I did that once back in Tech School. There were these three guys that lived with my ex who were total assholes, and had spent about a year just being total d-bags.
So one night, while drunk and courageous, I broke into their house and rubbed one out on their brushes. I even took photos. I was going to upload them onto the school server, but I realized after the fact there's really no way to do that anonymously.
Hey, it's Seattle. We're really passive aggressive.
So one night, while drunk and courageous, I broke into their house and rubbed one out on their brushes. I even took photos. I was going to upload them onto the school server, but I realized after the fact there's really no way to do that anonymously.
Hey, it's Seattle. We're really passive aggressive.
12
DO remember to keep your toothbrush in the drawer and not out on the counter.
http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/time-war…
Actually, I think Mythbusters did a segment on this, and fecal coliform made it on their toothbrushes regardless of where in the house they were stored.
http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/time-war…
Actually, I think Mythbusters did a segment on this, and fecal coliform made it on their toothbrushes regardless of where in the house they were stored.
13
@12,
When you flush the toilet a fountain of microscopic spray goes all over the room, which includes feces and urine and all that come with it. Less if you shut the lid, but still...
When you flush the toilet a fountain of microscopic spray goes all over the room, which includes feces and urine and all that come with it. Less if you shut the lid, but still...
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