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News & ArtsThursday, June 4, 2009
Homo When Death Does You Part
Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Jun 4, 2009 at 12:46 PM
Rhode Island is now the only state in New England that doesn't allow same-sex couples to marry and we shouldn't expect a marriage equality bill in that state anytime soon. But Rhode Island state senate did approve a domestic partnership bill yesterday. So what rights might same-sex couples in Rhode Island soon enjoy? Just one.
[The] Senate on Tuesday approved a bill giving “domestic partners” the right to claim the bodies of—and make funeral arrangements for—their loved ones.
And that's it. To get the state of Rhode Island to treat a same-sex couple equally one the partners has to die first. Isn't it romantic? And why did the Rhode Island senate decide to bestow this right—and only this right—on same-sex couples?
At a hearing earlier this year on one of the stalled bills to allow same-sex marriage, Mark S. Goldberg told a Senate committee about his months-long battle last fall to persuade state authorities to release to him the body of his partner of 17 years, Ron Hanby, so he could grant Hanby’s wish for cremation — only to have that request rejected too because “we were not legally married or blood relatives.”
Goldberg was in possession of the documents that opponents of marriage equality insist are all we queers really need. He and his partner had wills, living wills, powers of attorney, and a marriage certificate from Connecticut. But the police and the medical examiner's office wouldn't even look at these documents. Instead they held on to Hanby's body and conducted a weeks-long search for Hanby's "next of kin." It took a month for the state to release Hanby's body to Goldberg and even then Goldberg couldn't get his partner's remains cremated in Rhode Island—he had to have Hanby's body taken to Massachusetts—because Goldberg wasn't Hanby's "next of kin."
Goldberg and Hanby were together for 17 years.
3
Un-fucking-believable.
Now you can have the right to claim the body - but no guaranteed rights to stay beside your loved one and minister to their needs when they are ill or dying.
And having loved ones close at hand IS a need.
Now you can have the right to claim the body - but no guaranteed rights to stay beside your loved one and minister to their needs when they are ill or dying.
And having loved ones close at hand IS a need.
4
Aren't they a totally Democratic party controlled state?
What's the story, why are they behind the rest of New Enlands, too many Catholics?
What's the story, why are they behind the rest of New Enlands, too many Catholics?
5
There is no reason to live in RI. You have Massachusetts and Connecticut so close it makes no sense. In addition RI has higher taxes than both states.
7
So they're taking the Washington state approach of extending rights incrementally... One. At. A. Time. (?)
8
From the article:
"Sen. Edward O’Neill, I-Lincoln, questioned the wisdom of giving a domestic partner rights to make such important decisions as cremation, over that of adult children. Perry noted that current law gives that right to spouses, over children of past marriages. O’Neill was one of three senators not voting. The final tally was 35 to 0."
People like O'Neill really don't see homosexuals as full citizens.
"Sen. Edward O’Neill, I-Lincoln, questioned the wisdom of giving a domestic partner rights to make such important decisions as cremation, over that of adult children. Perry noted that current law gives that right to spouses, over children of past marriages. O’Neill was one of three senators not voting. The final tally was 35 to 0."
People like O'Neill really don't see homosexuals as full citizens.
9
@7 - Sounds like they are taking it one step further. You know all those bad things that we say can happen because gays & lesbians don't have the same rights? Well, we'll only grant you a specific right unless a bad thing actually happens to someone in our state as a result of not having that right. Otherwise, those bad things are just hypothetical.
10
Ahhh -- he wants the straight adult children to inherit, too, not their dad's gay partner.
It's always about money.
And O'Neill = Catholic for sure.
It's always about money.
And O'Neill = Catholic for sure.
12
Has this article been placed on Obama's oval office desk as a "Must Read" item? Oh yeah, I forgot. Civil rights is a state issue. No need for the feds to get involved. Be patient, be patient. My ass.
13
Wow. This is exactly why we are fighting so hard for our rights. Nobody should be treatede like that.
14
I can't believe it. RI is actually relatively progressive, and the Mayor of Providence is out. They'll get around to it, just not soon enough.
15
Us queers only need one legal document, and it's called a marriage certificate! It's time for politicians to quit f*#king around with our rights.
19
This is both tragic and inhumane. Freedom and justice for all is a hollow thing in the state of RI.
20
When my partner of 20 years died, I had no problems claiming and signing for the release of the body from the hospice facility. We had wills, DPoAs, medical directives...nobody even ever ASKED to see them. I signed the death certificate applications, the mortuary had no qualms about giving me his ashes. The life policy I had on him through my job paid out without blinking. The mortuary called and asked if I wanted an autopsy.
His mother, aunt and brother are still alive and nobody once consulted any of them. Everyone came to me.
I live in freaking Indiana. Come on Rhode Island, you're more progressive than us. Or maybe you're just willing to take our money and offer nothing in return.
His mother, aunt and brother are still alive and nobody once consulted any of them. Everyone came to me.
I live in freaking Indiana. Come on Rhode Island, you're more progressive than us. Or maybe you're just willing to take our money and offer nothing in return.
21
Lil Rhody will be the last state in New England to attain marriage equality, but it will come around before a great many other states do. The Governor is a parrot of the far right and has a few too many allies in the legislature, but their losing support everywhere ahead of next year's elections. Their policies saw RI waste a lot of money on new discriminatory policies (and old bullshit, too) while the unemployment rate surpassed Michigans.
RI is very Catholic but it is still a New England state, and its voters want the government to stay out of their business as much as any Mainer, Masshole or New Yorker (people from Vermont). The Biggest Little is not the coolest place in the country, but it is a way more progressive place to live than the vast majority of the states. As @14 pointed out the mayor of Providence is out. He was elected twice by landslides in the state's biggest city (yeah, yeah, yeah...). This young, liberal, gay, less corrupt, Democratic machine politician is the bridge to the next phase of RI politics.
This law makes the legislature look dumb, but if I learned anything growing up with these assholes it's that they are capable of surprising leaps, often in the right direction.
RI is very Catholic but it is still a New England state, and its voters want the government to stay out of their business as much as any Mainer, Masshole or New Yorker (people from Vermont). The Biggest Little is not the coolest place in the country, but it is a way more progressive place to live than the vast majority of the states. As @14 pointed out the mayor of Providence is out. He was elected twice by landslides in the state's biggest city (yeah, yeah, yeah...). This young, liberal, gay, less corrupt, Democratic machine politician is the bridge to the next phase of RI politics.
This law makes the legislature look dumb, but if I learned anything growing up with these assholes it's that they are capable of surprising leaps, often in the right direction.
23
As a native Rhode Islander, I am so ashamed! It is actually a pretty progressive little state, but still ass-backwards in many ways! Let us all remember the former great Mayor Buddy Cianci, twice convicted felon...Rhode Islanders will trust the governance of their State to the mob, but not individuals the freedom to make consenting, adult, responsible decisions together. I wish I could say Seattle allowed gay marriage and was better :( but at least we have a kick ass DP bill. Thanks WA State Legislature!
24
I hope Goldberg sues. Sues for the damages incurred by this outright discrimination in clear violation of the equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment. Sues for having to truck his partner's corpse to MA for cremation. Sues for pain and suffering. Sues sues sues sues sues.
25
"Goldberg was in possession of the documents that opponents of marriage equality insist are all we queers really need . . . and a **marriage certificate from Connecticut**."
I'm terribly sorry for him. This must have been a very painful experience. There is, however, one bright side. He has been HARMED by the state not following the full faith and credit clause of the United States constitution. He has grounds for *a Supreme court case*. One that might finally grant marriage rights to ALL.
I'm terribly sorry for him. This must have been a very painful experience. There is, however, one bright side. He has been HARMED by the state not following the full faith and credit clause of the United States constitution. He has grounds for *a Supreme court case*. One that might finally grant marriage rights to ALL.
26
I'm surprised they would ignore a power of attorney document. How can they even do that? It's like putting out a big sign that says, "SUE ME PLEASE."
27
What I can't decide is, is this bill a toe in the door, or a deliberate vehicle of humiliation on the part of the bigoted fukkers in the senate? Maybe both. Strange (death)bed fellows.
Big Q: Will the governor sign this "groundbreaking" piece of legislation?
Big Q: Will the governor sign this "groundbreaking" piece of legislation?
28
@22:
How fucking rude and assumptive. It wasn't an "AIDS body." He died of kidney failure.
Fuck off.
How fucking rude and assumptive. It wasn't an "AIDS body." He died of kidney failure.
Fuck off.
29
@15 "Us queers only need one legal document..."
...and it's called the Constitution of The United States of America.
...and it's called the Constitution of The United States of America.
30
Many powers of attorney do not grant a partner the ability to make funerary decisions. It's a sad story (and absolutely awful that the state caused the survivor such pain, and has now only given this single ability to partners), the document required would have been something called an "Appointment of Agent to Control Disposition of Remains." Powers of attorney generally grant the ability to make financial and health decisions for someone incapacitated. Once death occurs, most powers of attorney are useless.
31
The Stupid thing is though that a recent survey showed aver 60% of Rhode Islanders support same sex marriage, despite being a mostly catholic State. Unfortunatly their government is stuck in the past and unlikely to act on the peoples will.
32
uh, great. so civil rights can be won, as long as they're petitioned for one at a time? should only take about 6,000 years more of this clusterfuckery.
holy hell, man.
holy hell, man.
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