Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Science The Vindication of Aloysius Snuffleupagus
Posted by Charles Mudede on Tue, Jun 2, 2009 at 11:50 AM
Science Alert reports:
Children with imaginary friends are better at learning to communicate than other children, according to La Trobe University psychologist, Dr Evan Kidd.Nevertheless, for reasons that are obvious, I find it hard to believe that imaginary friends are better (and even healthier) than real ones. The self can only reproduce the self. The imaginary person is no one else but the person who is imaging it. The imagined conversation is in fact a monologue. Only a self that is outside of the self can be a complete other and connect the self to an experience that is outside of and other than itself. Also, a boy or girl who experiences more satisfaction from a product of their singular imagination than a person in the real is hard to trust. They are treated with suspicion, and with good reason. The child with an imaginary friend in some ways returns us to an early meaning of the word "conscious"—a secret conversation, a sinister whispering, a hiding of something in inaudible words—"who are you talking too?" An imaginary friend is troubling because it can never be shared. It's wholly ones own.Dr Kidd and colleague Anna Roby explored the hidden world of imaginary companions in a bid to understand the benefits.
The study of 44 children showed that the 22 children who had imaginary friends were better able to get their point across than were children of the same age who did not have one.
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2
Charles, I don't think they're suggesting children forgo having real life friends. And, who says that they can't be shared? Plenty of kids interact with other children and even act as translators for their imaginary friends, thus showing they know how to communicate with others effectively. Perhaps you should spend more time with children if you want to converse intelligently about them?
3
@2 I'm with you. My older sister and I as well as many of my neighborhood friends, had imaginary friends, or would make up new friends regularly for games that we were playing.
Does it say somewhere in the study, Charles, that these kids had ONLY imaginary friends and no real ones?
Does it say somewhere in the study, Charles, that these kids had ONLY imaginary friends and no real ones?
4
'Do I contradict myself? No, I contain multitudes.'
Maybe a conversation with yourself would've made you realize that this blogpost misses the point of the study.
Maybe a conversation with yourself would've made you realize that this blogpost misses the point of the study.
5
The self is only one of many possible selves that we winnow down throughout childhood. Our interaction with others is not based on their actual selves, but of rough models of other minds that we build in our own consciousness based on what we have witnessed what other people do and say. An imaginary friend is practice for building models of what other people think and feel without the risk of failing to interact in socially acceptable ways. This research indicates that an imaginary friend helps children develop a theory of mind.
8
I disagree. My imaginary friend was "my sister" Amy from California who was pregnant with a baby coincidentally around the same time that my mom was pregnant. I'm thinking this was more like a useful role play than a secretive or sneaky interaction on my part.
9
Charles, I respectfully disagree when you say: "The self can only reproduced the self. The imaginary person is no one else but the person who is imaging it."
These children interact socially as well as alone. Their "selves" do come from outside -- from parents, peers, storybooks, TV, movies. Perhaps having an imaginary friend is beneficial because it allows them to have a bit of control over a social interaction, a chance to personalize it. They are not conversing; they are mimicking, but putting their own personal twist on the interaction. It's pure creativity -- fiction-making. It's no wonder they are more creative than kids who only interact in real-world situations.
By the way, the study says that 65% of children have imaginary friends or toys with their own "personalities", so there's nothing unusual about it.
These children interact socially as well as alone. Their "selves" do come from outside -- from parents, peers, storybooks, TV, movies. Perhaps having an imaginary friend is beneficial because it allows them to have a bit of control over a social interaction, a chance to personalize it. They are not conversing; they are mimicking, but putting their own personal twist on the interaction. It's pure creativity -- fiction-making. It's no wonder they are more creative than kids who only interact in real-world situations.
By the way, the study says that 65% of children have imaginary friends or toys with their own "personalities", so there's nothing unusual about it.
11
"The self can only reproduce the self." Do you not have an imagination Charles? Did you never have one? A child can't conceive of how another might act, and that that might be different from how they themselves might act?
Come to think of it, perhaps that's one of the reasons behind the finding that kids with imaginary friends are better communicators. Kids that can more clearly imagine the behavior/thoughts of someone different from themselves are likely to be able to "better get their point across."
Come to think of it, perhaps that's one of the reasons behind the finding that kids with imaginary friends are better communicators. Kids that can more clearly imagine the behavior/thoughts of someone different from themselves are likely to be able to "better get their point across."
12
I find it hard to believe that imaginary friends are better (and even healthier) than real ones
I find it hard to believe you are not a narcissistic asshole, so what?
I find it hard to believe you are not a narcissistic asshole, so what?
13
Forty-four children? That's it? That seems to be a small sampling.
My child has had a few imaginary folks, but not one consistent friend. BTW, it's not just herself a child is arguing with. Consider that children are replaying conversations they’ve had or heard. They will practice these conversations over and over and change little details, they will try different outcomes (instead of saying “NO!” as in real life, a child talking to herself will practice saying “but I’d rather…” (at least, MY child did)).
Imaginary friends may not be the key to the advances these children have; it may be the self-training they’re doing all day long – whether their live friends are present or not.
My child has had a few imaginary folks, but not one consistent friend. BTW, it's not just herself a child is arguing with. Consider that children are replaying conversations they’ve had or heard. They will practice these conversations over and over and change little details, they will try different outcomes (instead of saying “NO!” as in real life, a child talking to herself will practice saying “but I’d rather…” (at least, MY child did)).
Imaginary friends may not be the key to the advances these children have; it may be the self-training they’re doing all day long – whether their live friends are present or not.
14
@11 Julie - They also are practicing/learning empathy when they talk to their own imagination, which is another key in learning how to communicate.
15
My main imaginary friend when I was a kid was named Eddie. Eddie looked like a worm and lived in the wall of my bedroom.
Having an imaginary friend let me "practice" interacting with real children. I am an introvert, but when I was a kid I was almost pathologically shy, especially with my peers. I could play out a social situation with Eddie, then when something like that happened in real life, I would be able to respond appropriately and quickly, without embarrasing myself or having to stop to think of answers.
And Eddie was nothing like me. Aside from being male and a worm, he was much more outgoing and fearless than I was. Exactly the type of person who would intimidate me into hiding in real life.
Having an imaginary friend let me "practice" interacting with real children. I am an introvert, but when I was a kid I was almost pathologically shy, especially with my peers. I could play out a social situation with Eddie, then when something like that happened in real life, I would be able to respond appropriately and quickly, without embarrasing myself or having to stop to think of answers.
And Eddie was nothing like me. Aside from being male and a worm, he was much more outgoing and fearless than I was. Exactly the type of person who would intimidate me into hiding in real life.
16
By assisting in development of individuality, perhaps an imaginary friend is troubling because it cannot be controlled by another larger communal force.
17
"An imaginary friend is troubling because it can never be shared. It's wholly ones own."
Seriously? WTF is wrong with having something that is wholly your own?
Seriously? WTF is wrong with having something that is wholly your own?
19
I disagree with the tone of this article. Imaginary friends are spoken of as though they are a crutch, but the fact of the matter is that most kids don't live in their own heads forever. Imaginary friends are incredibly useful to children. Moreover, they are a therapeutic presence.
"The self can only reproduced the self."
I'm calling bullshit on this sentiment. This assumes, quite incorrectly, an omniscience of the self. Speaking as a survivor of childhood trauma I know firsthand how the mind can obscure parts of itself from you. What an imaginary friend allows is a mirror through which those parts can be seen. They are a part of you, no doubt, but they feel autonomous, and they can move in ways you don't expect them to.
"The self can only reproduced the self."
I'm calling bullshit on this sentiment. This assumes, quite incorrectly, an omniscience of the self. Speaking as a survivor of childhood trauma I know firsthand how the mind can obscure parts of itself from you. What an imaginary friend allows is a mirror through which those parts can be seen. They are a part of you, no doubt, but they feel autonomous, and they can move in ways you don't expect them to.
20
Basically what I mean in a nutshell is, the imaginary friend is a safety mechanism, oftentimes it is a vital one. It is only problematic if it becomes uncontrollable (as in some cases of schizophrenia) or you become too dependent on it. Most kids don't. I don't really understand where the writer is coming from with this, but he is not convincing.
21
From a child development perspective, Mr. Mudede, imaginary friends are incredibly healthy. Like @15 says, for introverted kids and perfectionists, imaginary friends allow "rehearsal". When I taught young children, I found the strength and independence in those who had interior lives to be a character asset.
American culture is overly obsessed with externalized relationships. Perhaps this is why so many people fear quiet and being alone. I learned at an early age to take pleasure and solace in my own company (and that of my imaginary friends). I have never been steered wrong by that.
American culture is overly obsessed with externalized relationships. Perhaps this is why so many people fear quiet and being alone. I learned at an early age to take pleasure and solace in my own company (and that of my imaginary friends). I have never been steered wrong by that.
23
What does it mean if I can never remember having had an imaginary friend? I just realized that. Weird.
24
Seriously Charles, you are a god damn idiot - a Charles Winchester without the skills to back up your arrogance. And thank you Dan for saying what I think the majority of Slog readers have wanted to say.
There is NOTHING wrong with wanting something for yourselves, and trust me - if you take the time to actually READ this study, and talked to children about their imaginary friends, you'll realize it's perfectly healthy. Writers, Artists, etc. where probably the ones with a whole platoon of imaginary friends, and it's good for children who are unfairly ostracized.
I never really had friends as a kid, I was always new (Military parents), had a speech impediment, did horrible at P.E, very mild case of Asperger's, and I read at a 6th grade level while I was still in second grade, etc. That, and my red hair just put the icing on the cake of just how fucking cruel and nasty little kids can be. I had parents who were fucking clueless that 'just ignore them', never helped, and teachers who just looked away because I was the weird girl, the one who 'refused to fit in'.
I learned to enjoy my own company because otherwise, it'd just be too depressing. I made imaginary friends, varied - some were the mischief-makers that alleviate the strong need for revenge, others - one I particularly remembered fondly was the wise faerie queen that just listened when I wanted to yell at someone but I can't.
I hate to say it, considering how pathetic it sounded, but those imaginary friends probably saved my sanity and my life.
There is NOTHING wrong with wanting something for yourselves, and trust me - if you take the time to actually READ this study, and talked to children about their imaginary friends, you'll realize it's perfectly healthy. Writers, Artists, etc. where probably the ones with a whole platoon of imaginary friends, and it's good for children who are unfairly ostracized.
I never really had friends as a kid, I was always new (Military parents), had a speech impediment, did horrible at P.E, very mild case of Asperger's, and I read at a 6th grade level while I was still in second grade, etc. That, and my red hair just put the icing on the cake of just how fucking cruel and nasty little kids can be. I had parents who were fucking clueless that 'just ignore them', never helped, and teachers who just looked away because I was the weird girl, the one who 'refused to fit in'.
I learned to enjoy my own company because otherwise, it'd just be too depressing. I made imaginary friends, varied - some were the mischief-makers that alleviate the strong need for revenge, others - one I particularly remembered fondly was the wise faerie queen that just listened when I wanted to yell at someone but I can't.
I hate to say it, considering how pathetic it sounded, but those imaginary friends probably saved my sanity and my life.
25
"An imaginary friend is troubling because it can never be shared."
You don't read much fiction, do you?
You don't read much fiction, do you?
26
Charles is my imaginary friend. At least I hope that you don't really exsist. That would be unfortunate.
29
As an over-intelligent kid who was bullied at school, I created a whole imaginary world to live in. It could be that other hyper-smart kids turn to imaginary friends for self-comfort if they're bullied, or self-stimulation if their peer group is boring. That would explain the correlation in the study.
30
Not true that the Self can only reproduce the self. You underestimate the imagination of our collective and of our archetypal nature, and you overestimate the degree to which our "real ones" (friends) can operate outside of this internal perception. Yes, they can (theoretically), but I don't believe we allow much of this external tamping to permeate the limits of the "imagination", as you say. Even as my friend, your access to me (and mine to you) is limited by my imagination. You are only slightly more than a figment.
[admittedly, you are slightly more, though, and I love that]
[admittedly, you are slightly more, though, and I love that]
31
as for the direct relationship between kids having imaginary friends and being better at explaining things: that makes total sense. It's like dialectics in philosophy, right. Wasn't Socrates Plato's imaginary friend?
32
it makes sense that having imaginary friends would make kids better at explaining things. Dialectic philosophers always developed their arguments with people who weren't there. Wasn't Socrates an imaginary friend for Plato?
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