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News & ArtsTuesday, June 2, 2009
Savage Love Central Washington University
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Jun 2, 2009 at 11:01 PM
Some of the questions put to me by Central Washington University students tonight...
Which is worse: watersports or anal sex?
Why are all my ex's so vengeful?
If a boy had a night of experimentation with another boy, a night that included a make-out session (during which he got immediately hard), followed by a handjob (that was unfortunately short), and then tried to reciprocate the hand-job (and failed miserably), and THEN says it wasn't for him and he's "straight"—what is your take on the truth of his sexuality?
What do you think it says about society that people are quick to assume that two close friends of the same sex are dating?
What is your thoughts on bondage?
Is it normal to fantasize about other people when your partner is gone for long periods of time?
What are your views on agnostics dating Christians?
Is Ira Glass as adorable in person as he sounds on the radio?
Some of my answers: whichever one you like less; you're the common denominator; I'd need to review the videotape; that things are improving; what are my thoughts on bondage; it's normal to fantasize about other people when your partner is on top of you; they can do better; Ira Glass is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.
2
Excellent Manchurian Candidate ref.
I actually used that in a performance review feedback and got away with it.
I actually used that in a performance review feedback and got away with it.
3
Who can do better? The agnostic or the Christian? I'm guessing your favoring the agnostic. Still, ouch, I never thought of it as I was lesser, that my husband deserved better. I must be tired, because this is resulted in my crying. I know you don't like us as a mass group, but shit, I guess this is my taste of how we as a collective whole make you feel. I'm going to take this and learn from it. So, thanks.
6
Oh, Kim. I'm sorry -- I was just teasing. Usually the response to a question like that -- the one most advise pros would give -- presumes that the Christian is slumming and can do better. Just flipped it for fun. Didn't mean to hurt you.
9
@3 - Don't cry, Kim.
Good on Savage for apologizing, though.
Also, I want to fuck Ira Glass until the cows come home. I am so going to intern at TAL first chance I get.
Good on Savage for apologizing, though.
Also, I want to fuck Ira Glass until the cows come home. I am so going to intern at TAL first chance I get.
11
OK, now I'm going to lie awake in bed all night, scared of Angela Lansbury incest nightmares.
Seriously, anyone who only knows Lansbury from Murder, She Wrote and her Disney movies really, really needs to see The Manchurian Candidate. You'll never look at her the same way again.
Seriously, anyone who only knows Lansbury from Murder, She Wrote and her Disney movies really, really needs to see The Manchurian Candidate. You'll never look at her the same way again.
12
Oh Dan, there's still nothing to equal your advice to U of L: "Don't fuck Sue Johanson in the ass." You were on fire then.
15
Kim, I hope that you are okay (I'm in tears this morning for other reasons, and Dan's post was a welcome relief, but I digress).
It is safe to say that we all know that Dan didn't mean to hurt you - and that he has said so confirms it.
If all Christians comported themselves as you do then there wouldn't be the kernel of truth that made that statement the ambiguity to be interpreted humorously.
I know that you have invested a lot of time and energy in representing progressive Christians here (on Slog) from the likes of LC. And when you are so heavily invested an unintentional barb may have the unexpected result of cutting you to the quick.
Unfortunately, when most of us encounter Christians - it is usually the self-proclaimed ones who then go on to say and do un-Christian-like things. (I don't want to presume too much here but It probably isn't that much of a stretch to say that when Dan encounters people who claim to be Christian it usually is attached or followed by some attack on him personally, his family, or his views.)
Perhaps after a night's sleep, things will look better to you this morning.
It is safe to say that we all know that Dan didn't mean to hurt you - and that he has said so confirms it.
If all Christians comported themselves as you do then there wouldn't be the kernel of truth that made that statement the ambiguity to be interpreted humorously.
I know that you have invested a lot of time and energy in representing progressive Christians here (on Slog) from the likes of LC. And when you are so heavily invested an unintentional barb may have the unexpected result of cutting you to the quick.
Unfortunately, when most of us encounter Christians - it is usually the self-proclaimed ones who then go on to say and do un-Christian-like things. (I don't want to presume too much here but It probably isn't that much of a stretch to say that when Dan encounters people who claim to be Christian it usually is attached or followed by some attack on him personally, his family, or his views.)
Perhaps after a night's sleep, things will look better to you this morning.
16
Dan @ 6,
No worries. I'm fine, still tired, but fine. There was a collision in my heart, between what I'd been reading earlier (essays from Mitchell Gold's, Crisis) about a young man who would carve I hate you into his chest after his ex-gay meetings, and your answer. So, it was a good thing that I cried, its good to have a glimps (even small pathetic ones) into that young man's world, and perhaps yours, on being refered to as lesser. This was a good thing.
Again, no worries ... Now to get some caffine. Perhaps, I'll become more rational? One can hope.
No worries. I'm fine, still tired, but fine. There was a collision in my heart, between what I'd been reading earlier (essays from Mitchell Gold's, Crisis) about a young man who would carve I hate you into his chest after his ex-gay meetings, and your answer. So, it was a good thing that I cried, its good to have a glimps (even small pathetic ones) into that young man's world, and perhaps yours, on being refered to as lesser. This was a good thing.
Again, no worries ... Now to get some caffine. Perhaps, I'll become more rational? One can hope.
17
JoeG @ 5, Jocelyn @ 9, kresblamania @ 14, Hyzenthlayk9 @ 15,
Thank you all. You are all correct. I'm fine. Sleep is good, but it still alludes me. I really need to rerack, but the day won't allow it. Caffine will be consumed, likely in large quantities. It wasn't just Dan's comment (see post 16), allowing oneself to sit in anothers shoes momentarly (even over something silly and small) is a good thing.
Thanks for writing me. I appreciate both your kindness and concern.
Now .... to make coffee, tea won't cut it this morning.
Best wishes,
k
Thank you all. You are all correct. I'm fine. Sleep is good, but it still alludes me. I really need to rerack, but the day won't allow it. Caffine will be consumed, likely in large quantities. It wasn't just Dan's comment (see post 16), allowing oneself to sit in anothers shoes momentarly (even over something silly and small) is a good thing.
Thanks for writing me. I appreciate both your kindness and concern.
Now .... to make coffee, tea won't cut it this morning.
Best wishes,
k
18
"when we encounter Christians..." - and so on
Such utter blather. There are 20 affirming churches in Seattle, full of loving and bright and non - homophobic modern Christian bleivers ...
Bashing people is fun, own it. mean and angry and pricking have become lifestyle for a lot of Queer Hipsters, the target can be anyone or anything ...
For months on Slog it had been Christians, of course not Dan's totally OK very Catholic mom , just those other ones ...
Kim, your task is futile. They lie. Go the MCC in Portland, meet some real gay folks just doing religion together. You will love it. Let the hipsters rant ... on and on ...
Cry not dear one, they will mock you in the end.
Such utter blather. There are 20 affirming churches in Seattle, full of loving and bright and non - homophobic modern Christian bleivers ...
Bashing people is fun, own it. mean and angry and pricking have become lifestyle for a lot of Queer Hipsters, the target can be anyone or anything ...
For months on Slog it had been Christians, of course not Dan's totally OK very Catholic mom , just those other ones ...
Kim, your task is futile. They lie. Go the MCC in Portland, meet some real gay folks just doing religion together. You will love it. Let the hipsters rant ... on and on ...
Cry not dear one, they will mock you in the end.
19
Ira Glass was a total dickwad to Lynda Barry. I'm not sure that's forgiveable, thought the fact that he admits it should mitigate it somewhat...
20
19 - that was like 9,000 years ago, he admits it, and all men are retarded until they're like 45 anyway. many of them manage to stay retarded well into old age. this has no effect on the fact that ira glass is a sexy sex god with whom i want to have a lot of sexy sex.
21
Roman Vasnich @ 18,
Thank you for your concern. I appreciate your recommendation to attend MCC Portland.
I did not expect any apology, but I accept the one given none the less. I've no reason to doubt its sincerity, it is fitting with the man, not the blogger/writer/radio personality that I've spoken (over the phone) with before. Again, I was not seeking or even desiring an apology. Love is about accepting someone for who they are, and right where their at. It is safe to say, that I love them, even if/when they mock me.
Thanks again.
Best wishes,
k
Thank you for your concern. I appreciate your recommendation to attend MCC Portland.
I did not expect any apology, but I accept the one given none the less. I've no reason to doubt its sincerity, it is fitting with the man, not the blogger/writer/radio personality that I've spoken (over the phone) with before. Again, I was not seeking or even desiring an apology. Love is about accepting someone for who they are, and right where their at. It is safe to say, that I love them, even if/when they mock me.
Thanks again.
Best wishes,
k
22
13 - Sorry hun, but given the reference, what Dan is saying is:
"It isn't as if Ira is hard to like. He's impossible to like!"
"It isn't as if Ira is hard to like. He's impossible to like!"
23
I enjoy these posts, Dan. You could make them more fun by mixing up your answers to create a matching game.
25
I'd like to live in a world where more people assume two friends of the same sex are dating--everyone always assumes that me and my girlfriend are either sisters or friends.
27
I think that adults who date people with imaginary friends should consider that they can find people who are sane.
29
Is it too obvious to point out that those Central students displayed some very poor grammar? Yeesh.
30
@26
There is something very non-Slogish about Slog lately. Slog, not just in the comments, makes cracks like the one Kim cried over on a regular basis. Especially Dan. Why does a crack at the expense of a persons fetish not cause the same emotional response as one of a religion? A religion that's actions and beliefs are a consistent fucking buzzkill in the new, and all of those news items almost always being addressed on Slog. So Kim can laugh and enjoy Dan's lingo so long as it isn't at her expense, and instead of calling that out (old Slog), everyone gets on there knees and starts licking her pussy. SERIOUS CONVERSATION ALERT, GUYS, a girl is CRYING over a JOKE. Over FOUR WORDS. CRYING. ON A BLOG.
Let's all hold hands. Hey you, over there, come here. You sure look like you could use a hug. What's your name? Well, Brian, I have some news for you. Jesus loves you. I love you.
There is something very non-Slogish about Slog lately. Slog, not just in the comments, makes cracks like the one Kim cried over on a regular basis. Especially Dan. Why does a crack at the expense of a persons fetish not cause the same emotional response as one of a religion? A religion that's actions and beliefs are a consistent fucking buzzkill in the new, and all of those news items almost always being addressed on Slog. So Kim can laugh and enjoy Dan's lingo so long as it isn't at her expense, and instead of calling that out (old Slog), everyone gets on there knees and starts licking her pussy. SERIOUS CONVERSATION ALERT, GUYS, a girl is CRYING over a JOKE. Over FOUR WORDS. CRYING. ON A BLOG.
Let's all hold hands. Hey you, over there, come here. You sure look like you could use a hug. What's your name? Well, Brian, I have some news for you. Jesus loves you. I love you.
31
@30 Right on! Um, this is a BLOG, people. Where Dan and everyone shoot off the cuff about shit. If you're crying because of joke he made on the freakin BLOG, you've got some serious issues, sorry. Take a deep breath, unplug the computer, and take a walk outside. And stop taking this guy's words so seriously for chrissakes. Sheesh.
Dan is a phenomenal advice columnist, yes, but he's also an egotistical prick if you haven't noticed. That's right, groupies, take off the rose-colored glasses for just one sec. If you're exactly like Dan, you're brilliant and SO right, but if you differ from him in some way, you're an ignorant idiot. Like a big child. So, of COURSE the guy's going to say that an agnostic can do better than a Christian. What Dan is is better than everybody else, didn't you know that? Clearly you haven't been paying attention.
Dan is a phenomenal advice columnist, yes, but he's also an egotistical prick if you haven't noticed. That's right, groupies, take off the rose-colored glasses for just one sec. If you're exactly like Dan, you're brilliant and SO right, but if you differ from him in some way, you're an ignorant idiot. Like a big child. So, of COURSE the guy's going to say that an agnostic can do better than a Christian. What Dan is is better than everybody else, didn't you know that? Clearly you haven't been paying attention.
32
@30 Right on! Um, this is a BLOG, people. Where Dan and everyone shoot off the cuff about shit. If you're crying because of joke he made on the freakin BLOG, you've got some serious issues, sorry. Take a deep breath, unplug the computer, and take a walk outside. And stop taking this guy's words so seriously for chrissakes. Sheesh.
Dan is a phenomenal advice columnist, yes, but he's also an egotistical prick if you haven't noticed. That's right, groupies, take off the rose-colored glasses for just one sec. If you're exactly like Dan, you're brilliant and SO right, but if you differ from him in some way, you're an ignorant idiot. Like a big child. So, of COURSE the guy's going to say that an agnostic can do better than a Christian. What Dan is is better than everybody else, didn't you know that? Clearly you haven't been paying attention.
Dan is a phenomenal advice columnist, yes, but he's also an egotistical prick if you haven't noticed. That's right, groupies, take off the rose-colored glasses for just one sec. If you're exactly like Dan, you're brilliant and SO right, but if you differ from him in some way, you're an ignorant idiot. Like a big child. So, of COURSE the guy's going to say that an agnostic can do better than a Christian. What Dan is is better than everybody else, didn't you know that? Clearly you haven't been paying attention.
33
Ira Glass! Just seeing his name makes my heart beat faster...
And Kim in Portland, I will add to the chorus and say you are always inspiring to me, so thanks and take care. *hug*
And Kim in Portland, I will add to the chorus and say you are always inspiring to me, so thanks and take care. *hug*
34
@31/32:
In case you haven't noticed, almost everyone thinks they're better than everyone else in some respect. Anyone who claims they are NOT is either lying, an idiot, suffering from a clinical inferiority complex, or woefully naive.
In case you haven't noticed, almost everyone thinks they're better than everyone else in some respect. Anyone who claims they are NOT is either lying, an idiot, suffering from a clinical inferiority complex, or woefully naive.
35
30, 31, and 32,
Thanks, your advice has been heard. Actually, I wasn't crying specifically about the joke. I thought I made that clear above.
But, thanks anyway.
Thanks, your advice has been heard. Actually, I wasn't crying specifically about the joke. I thought I made that clear above.
But, thanks anyway.
37
@12
Some Savage fire from last night: "If you showed the Pope some porn...he'd throw some Nazi wood."
Thank you Dan Savage, for not completely patronizing us poor spellerers and grammerers at Central Washington University. Last night was more educational (and useful) for most students than a whole year of bullshit classes blathering about dreams and goal-setting.
From all of us at the Observer staff, you're our lesbian firefighter.
Some Savage fire from last night: "If you showed the Pope some porn...he'd throw some Nazi wood."
Thank you Dan Savage, for not completely patronizing us poor spellerers and grammerers at Central Washington University. Last night was more educational (and useful) for most students than a whole year of bullshit classes blathering about dreams and goal-setting.
From all of us at the Observer staff, you're our lesbian firefighter.
39
I used t'be a choir girl, altar girl, youth group president, Episcopalian Christian. When I was around 13-14, we had a huge influx of gay couples into our very old congregation (their church had moved). About half the older congregants stopped coming in "protest". I talked to my pastor about it & he couldn't explain properly to my young self that change was happening (this was about 18 years ago), that the older folks were threatened by that change, etc. What I took away from that conversation was that the new church members weren't the same in the eyes of either God or congregation. I didn't know yet that I was bi but took the whole thing really personally & left.
Since stumbling through various "isms" in search of my own spiritual belief, I've met the Xtian crazies & then people who really had a Christian ethic: love their God, love others, less w/ the judgment. Not that you need online huggages from a stranger Kim in Portland, but you definitely strike me as the latter sort.
Since stumbling through various "isms" in search of my own spiritual belief, I've met the Xtian crazies & then people who really had a Christian ethic: love their God, love others, less w/ the judgment. Not that you need online huggages from a stranger Kim in Portland, but you definitely strike me as the latter sort.
40
If the answers were each placed on their own line it would facilitate matching answers with question. Or they could be numbered. Or the answer could follow right after it's question. Of course, if you are a professional dickwad you probably don't give rat shit about helping the reader out a little.
42
In my experience, the Christians who have no problem with dating an agnostic tend to be the cool kind.
43
Stumbled over this reading the archives ... Just wanted to go on record and say I'm an agnostic chick very happily living with (and screwing! And tying up! And being tied up by! And ... well, you get the idea) a liberal, tolerant, open-minded Christian guy. He's studying theology (academically) and makes a convincing argument that most bigots are doing extremely poor biblical exegesis.
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