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News & ArtsMonday, June 1, 2009
City Critical Mass, a Suggestion
Posted by Chicago Fan on Mon, Jun 1, 2009 at 1:17 PM
Friday, while Seattle's Critical Mass was taking the Viaduct by storm, enciting the slog sturm und drang over here, I was taking my students on a bike tour of the North Side of Chicago. After hitting a number of key sites—James T. Farrell's grave, canals and pumping stations, Chicago's only waterfall, the old Indian treaty boundary line, the Vienna Beef Hot Dog factory, Nelson Algren's boyhood home—I left them at the Billy Goat and set out to scout out my next tour, which will cover the near south, west and north sides.
On my way southbound on State Street, I was twice blocked by Chicago's Critical Mass. Each time I stood there steaming along with drivers and pedestrians, a CM dolt shouted "Join us!". The first time, I just said, "No!" The second time (after scooting through a gap in the lead group, I got stuck near the middle as they looped around) I said "Fuck you!" One of the tattooed, fixed-gear, Ancient Celtic hairdo messenger types took exception, and circled back, telling me I was a sonofabitch and should go fuck myself, and perhaps he'd teach me a lesson. . . which led me to reach back and grab my U-lock off my rack and let him know he'd be in for more than a civil conversation if he wanted to continue along this path. He rejoined his tribe to show Chicagoans . . . well, I'm not exactly sure what.
The overwhelmingly negative response to the CM Viaduct Putsch in the comments of Frizzelle's entry should be setting off some alarm bells in CM. If liberal bike-loving slog readers think you're a bunch of jerks, what must the people who drive—the people you're trying to convince of the righteousness of your cause—think about you?
The suggestion I made last time CM was a big slogging deal stands: if CM wants to make a point that cyclists have the same rights and responsibilities as all users of the public roads, then show that with a protest that demonstrates it. Start at dozens of remote locations, and have everyone converge on Pioneer Square or the Space Needle or some other central location, riding single file and obeying all traffic laws along the way. The sight of hundreds or thousands of cyclists all over town, stopping for red lights, letting little old ladies cross the street, signalling their turns—it might change a few minds.
1
Dear Chicago Fan
I know you are related to Dan that's all cool he gives you rights but
THIS IS A SEATTLE MAGAZINE. GO THE FUCK AWAY YOU WORTHLESS CUNT
I know you are related to Dan that's all cool he gives you rights but
THIS IS A SEATTLE MAGAZINE. GO THE FUCK AWAY YOU WORTHLESS CUNT
3
this guy seems smarter than your average bike rider who would randomly decide to bike on the highway
4
The only safe attitude to take around Seattle bicyclists is to assume that they will do the dumbest thing imaginable, because six times out of 10, they will.
Everyone riding lawfully from all over the city to a single rendezvous point? Never gonna happen; can't happen. It's not in their DNA.
Everyone riding lawfully from all over the city to a single rendezvous point? Never gonna happen; can't happen. It's not in their DNA.
5
I agree with this one hundred percent! It just seems obvious that the best way to ask for respect is to give it and show that you're worthy of it. I think your idea for a demonstration is just along those lines. Respectful and good natured.
6
Nice post.
You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
(If it's flies you're after...)
Dan could learn something from his brother.
You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
(If it's flies you're after...)
Dan could learn something from his brother.
7
Dear Fuck You!
Fuck YOU. A very large number of non-Seattlites read/comment on here...this isn't a Resticted Club and we're not a bunch of Aryans from Darien. All are welcome....well, except for non-registered "cunts" such as yourself.
That is all.
A Seattlite from Nebraska
also, why would CM riders obey traffic laws and ride single file to a rally? The vast majority of bike riders don't obey traffic laws normally, so why would they on a demonstration day?
Fuck YOU. A very large number of non-Seattlites read/comment on here...this isn't a Resticted Club and we're not a bunch of Aryans from Darien. All are welcome....well, except for non-registered "cunts" such as yourself.
That is all.
A Seattlite from Nebraska
also, why would CM riders obey traffic laws and ride single file to a rally? The vast majority of bike riders don't obey traffic laws normally, so why would they on a demonstration day?
8
I've never understood why cyclists think they have a constitutional right to keep their heart rate in their aerobic target zone that supercedes the observance of petty annoyances like stop signs, red lights, and pedestrians. They ride the wrong way, use sidewalks when they are supposed to be in the street, etc. Plenty of cyclists do the right thing, but the percentage of them doing stupid shit is probbably higher than the percent of bad drivers.
9
What I would like to see is a bunch of pedestrians walk out in to the cross walk in front of these douchebags. I am pretty sure they would get the worst of any collision.
I like your idea, but it assumes CM is about more than useless hipsters and trust funders being jackasses.
I like your idea, but it assumes CM is about more than useless hipsters and trust funders being jackasses.
10
The problem with CM is that it's populated by pre-yuppites in their vegatative growth state. While they may have not flowered into full yuppie bloom, they still display many characteristics of the mature species; raging entitlement, blind arrogance, and unfettered whiteness.
11
Sounds like a great idea to me. At the very least, it's a better option than riding around town acting like assholes to everyone you encounter.
12
sorry chicago fan, much like mahatma ghandi and martin luther king, jr., non-violent protest has been and will be an effective means to bring about social justice.
little inconvenienced? at least you're thinking about the bicyclists on the roadways. most car-drivers tend to ignore and disregard the cyclists at the peril of the cyclists. which is one reason why critical mass exists and still continues to be needed and relevant - force motorists critically think. like you did this weekend.
would i rather be hated or ignored on the streets while riding? hated, 'cause *at least* you see me.
see y'all next month. last friday, 5:30, westlake. i unfortunately missed last friday, but after reading so many posts, looking forward to june. (oh, and thanks once again to the stranger for all the publicity. it's free!)
little inconvenienced? at least you're thinking about the bicyclists on the roadways. most car-drivers tend to ignore and disregard the cyclists at the peril of the cyclists. which is one reason why critical mass exists and still continues to be needed and relevant - force motorists critically think. like you did this weekend.
would i rather be hated or ignored on the streets while riding? hated, 'cause *at least* you see me.
see y'all next month. last friday, 5:30, westlake. i unfortunately missed last friday, but after reading so many posts, looking forward to june. (oh, and thanks once again to the stranger for all the publicity. it's free!)
14
@giffy #9
I have always thought about getting a large number of big guys and hang out at an intersection that CM likes to cork through. When the light turns green in the opposite way (that the CM blocks) have all the guys lock arms and file into the crosswalk holding there until the light changes. Sure the front guys are gonna get hit but it would be nice to force CM to not block intersections.
I have always thought about getting a large number of big guys and hang out at an intersection that CM likes to cork through. When the light turns green in the opposite way (that the CM blocks) have all the guys lock arms and file into the crosswalk holding there until the light changes. Sure the front guys are gonna get hit but it would be nice to force CM to not block intersections.
15
No, it won't change any minds at all. In fact, I'd say somebody would probably get hurt, maybe killed. The second you get in a car, you are making a choice between your own conveinence and other people's safety. This makes car drivers selfish assholes by definition.
Do you really think that some asshole in a car is really gonna wait through multiple lights trying to make a right turn while an unending stream of single-file cyclists inch along in the bike lane? No, he's gonna cut somebody off, like a dick, because that's how car drivers are. The entire point of the mass is to prevent people from doing shit like that. Would you rather have a 1-3 block mass or 20 blocks in all directions where you can't turn because you're blocked by a few bikes.
Do you really think that some asshole in a car is really gonna wait through multiple lights trying to make a right turn while an unending stream of single-file cyclists inch along in the bike lane? No, he's gonna cut somebody off, like a dick, because that's how car drivers are. The entire point of the mass is to prevent people from doing shit like that. Would you rather have a 1-3 block mass or 20 blocks in all directions where you can't turn because you're blocked by a few bikes.
16
Politically and tactically, CM riders have more in common with the Scott Roeder's of the world than with me...a fellow biking liberal.
FU CM.
FU CM.
17
Chicago Fan - the Chicago CM always struck me as particularly pointless. Mayor Daley is a biker and extremely bike-friendly -- so much so that as far as I could tell the CM rides are given a fair amount of latitude/support. Plus, he pretty much does whatever he wants without approval from anybody. So... if you want something to happen (bike lanes, etc.), don't you think working with him might be a better way to do it?
But no... that's not really the point of CM. After reading the comments in the last CM post, I have come to believe that CM is the new "freaking out the squares".
But no... that's not really the point of CM. After reading the comments in the last CM post, I have come to believe that CM is the new "freaking out the squares".
18
@4 - "The only safe attitude to take around Seattle drivers is to assume that they will do the dumbest thing imaginable, because ten times out of 6, they will."
There, fixed that for you.
There, fixed that for you.
19
Ah, provinciality. It reminds me of the North Carolina license plated truck with the bumper sticker, decorated in the style of the Colorado license plate, that read "No Vacancy".
Chicago Fan, are your rides only open to your students? I am sure other Chicago sloggerites such as myself would like to tag along for the history lessons.
Chicago Fan, are your rides only open to your students? I am sure other Chicago sloggerites such as myself would like to tag along for the history lessons.
21
The main point of Critical Mass isn't to protest, or demonstrate, or make our presence known, it is to flip the power dynamic for, at most, two hours a month. It wouldn't be enough to just have a presence, Critical Mass has to control the streets, in the same way that motor vehicles get to control the streets every single hour of every single day other than those two hours or so each month. That is the only way to flip the power dynamic. If we were just riding with traffic and being good vehicle operators, motor vehicles would still be in control, would still dominate. It is anarchy, and it will delay you by 10 - 15 minutes, unless you make a compelling case otherwise.
So my answer to the OP is: you don't get it, and that's fine, but don't provoke situations. That's stupid.
And your suggestion about cyclists converging on downtown sounds fine and dandy, but it's a horrible idea. That many cyclists would just piss off motorists more, regardless of how well they obeyed traffic laws, leading to the kind of unsafe passing and weird maneuvers that would get people killed and injured. I see that every year on the first nice day of the year when lots of clueless and slow cyclists come out and ride around Ballard: the motorists go positively insane.
I didn't understand Mass at all until I rode with them. Now I get it, despite being a stop-sign-on-the-line-stopping cyclist the rest of the time. I get it because I gave it a chance to make sense in its own reality, maybe you should too.
So my answer to the OP is: you don't get it, and that's fine, but don't provoke situations. That's stupid.
And your suggestion about cyclists converging on downtown sounds fine and dandy, but it's a horrible idea. That many cyclists would just piss off motorists more, regardless of how well they obeyed traffic laws, leading to the kind of unsafe passing and weird maneuvers that would get people killed and injured. I see that every year on the first nice day of the year when lots of clueless and slow cyclists come out and ride around Ballard: the motorists go positively insane.
I didn't understand Mass at all until I rode with them. Now I get it, despite being a stop-sign-on-the-line-stopping cyclist the rest of the time. I get it because I gave it a chance to make sense in its own reality, maybe you should too.
22
Um... James T. Farrell's grave and Nelson Algren's boyhood home are only "key sites" to James T. Farrell and Nelson Algren... (and not even them anymore.)
23
@15: Hmm... maybe the bicyclists could actually be thoughtful about the people around them and let the car trying to turn in? Did that thought cross your mind? If not, why didn't it? Is it because the idea of actual sharing is so far removed from the CM mindset?
It's karma. If you act like an ass, you will bring assholery upon yourself. If you act like an adult, others will take notice.
Of course there will always be asshole drivers and asshole bikers and asshole pedestrians. But right now CM is not on its way to reducing those numbers.
It's karma. If you act like an ass, you will bring assholery upon yourself. If you act like an adult, others will take notice.
Of course there will always be asshole drivers and asshole bikers and asshole pedestrians. But right now CM is not on its way to reducing those numbers.
24
@12 Your doing it wrong. CM makes me want to oppose bike improvements not support them.
@15 If they obeyed the traffic laws then the car could simply turn when the light was green.
@21 I don't care about its reality anymore than I give a shit about most other hobbies.
@15 If they obeyed the traffic laws then the car could simply turn when the light was green.
@21 I don't care about its reality anymore than I give a shit about most other hobbies.
25
I'm a biker and I HATE Critical Mass. I don't want these assholes representing me. They're a disservice to the biking community.
26
SLOG readers are bike-loving? All that Old Style has apparently distorted the professor's perception of reality.
27
@12 You, sir, are no Mahatma Gandhi.
Non-violent protest works when the cause is actually just. "Support children with entitlement complexes" isn't quite the same.
Non-violent protest works when the cause is actually just. "Support children with entitlement complexes" isn't quite the same.
28
#10 makes an excellent point. I ride my bike almost every day, but I avoid CM like I would the plague, or burning man.
29
Just don't be surprised when you Shittical Asses start getting run over - on purpose - and your guts squirt out of your buttholes.
30
It's always nice to have Chicago Fan inject some common sense into this place.
All the a-hole CM posters on here can rationalize their actions all they want but it doesn't change the basic facts that you have no support outside of your douchebag collective. I look forward to hearing about escalating conflicts and news of the first "mow down" during an upcoming circle jerk.
All the a-hole CM posters on here can rationalize their actions all they want but it doesn't change the basic facts that you have no support outside of your douchebag collective. I look forward to hearing about escalating conflicts and news of the first "mow down" during an upcoming circle jerk.
31
Meh.
Who cares, the Billionaires who don't live in Seattle have already decided for Seattle that we are going to build a bicycle-free tunnel so they can get to their stadia and their private airplanes at Boeing Airfield faster while we in Seattle pay the taxes for it.
Who cares, the Billionaires who don't live in Seattle have already decided for Seattle that we are going to build a bicycle-free tunnel so they can get to their stadia and their private airplanes at Boeing Airfield faster while we in Seattle pay the taxes for it.
32
Chicago Fan is a shinning example of a bicyclists. With his "fuck you"s and threating people with U-locks. Listen to him and his suggestions, he knows how to make everyone get along.
And "liberal bike-loving slog readers"? Did I miss something? Any post about bicycles seems to get inundated with negative comments about bicyclists. I don't think slog readers are anything-loving.
And "liberal bike-loving slog readers"? Did I miss something? Any post about bicycles seems to get inundated with negative comments about bicyclists. I don't think slog readers are anything-loving.
33
I hate cyclists. Always fucking complaining, but they never show any respect for drivers or pedestrians. Practically invisible, travelling at speed, totally unpredictable, jumping from sidewalk to road without warning, ignoring all traffic signs and crosswalks. And how to they respond to these difficulties? By lashing out at everyone, damaging vehicles, demanding special treatment and generaly being total dicks about it.
Funny thing is that cycles are great. Its just a pity about the cyclists.
Funny thing is that cycles are great. Its just a pity about the cyclists.
34
I think this sounds like a great idea! I've proposed the same kind of thing quietly to friends (lack of respect for others is one reason why I don't participate in CM) but I think Chicago Fan should take this idea and run with it!
35
"Start at dozens of remote locations, and have everyone converge on Pioneer Square or the Space Needle or some other central location, riding single file and obeying all traffic laws along the way."
sounds exactly like EVERY WEEKDAY MORNING COMMUTE. that'd sure make everyone sit up and take notice - "look at me doing what i'm told!"
sounds exactly like EVERY WEEKDAY MORNING COMMUTE. that'd sure make everyone sit up and take notice - "look at me doing what i'm told!"
36
@ 12 and 15: I was on my bike, not driving, when I was stuck by CM. And @32, I only draw the U-lock when someone is coming right at me spouting threats of physical violence. "Fuck you!" is pretty tame urban street banter where I come from, and if CM were really all peaceful non-violent protest, this mope would have blown me a kiss. But CM is about intimidation and grandstanding, and sometimes some folks gotta learn that's a two way street. Without sharrows.
37
Ok, maybe that's a little strong. My level of sympathy for cyclists has been depleted by having to dodge so many. I don't have these problems with cars. I'd like to see a new solution because right now, I am not feeling sympathetic.
38
Hey CM why don't you go cork in the black neighborhoods and enlighten all the buhruthaz in their hoopties?
What? You don't want to do that?
CHICKENS BOCK BOCK BOCK
What? You don't want to do that?
CHICKENS BOCK BOCK BOCK
39
So, as a non-driving, non-biking pedestrian, let me try to get this straight:
All drivers are assholes. CM riders feel that because of this condition, they should be allowed a turn to be assholes themselves. And whether we understand it or not, we should allow it to "make sense in its own reality", whatever that load of hippie bullshit is supposed to mean. Basically, riding around town blocking streets and threatening people with violence is super fucking awesome and everyone who disagrees is a death machine-loving douchebag. Did I get that right? Is there some greater meaning that I'm missing?
All drivers are assholes. CM riders feel that because of this condition, they should be allowed a turn to be assholes themselves. And whether we understand it or not, we should allow it to "make sense in its own reality", whatever that load of hippie bullshit is supposed to mean. Basically, riding around town blocking streets and threatening people with violence is super fucking awesome and everyone who disagrees is a death machine-loving douchebag. Did I get that right? Is there some greater meaning that I'm missing?
41
I agree 100% with Chicago Fan. You get a lot better from positive reinforcement than negative reinforcement. This is the basis of Gandhi's philosophy, this is the basis of Jesus' philosophy, this is the basis of Martin Luther King's philosophy, it's the basis of Buddhist philosophy; shoot, it's even the basis of modern dog and dolphin training, people.
Yet it eludes Critical Mass.
When Critical Mass sets out to piss people off, it closes minds and hearts and ends any discussion. No one looks at the bicyclists with any envy or wonder or respect. There is no communication, there is only anger and resentment on both sides.
There are so many ways Critical Mass could use POSITIVE reinforcement to achieve so much more. But, alas, CM supporters are as impatient and angry and resentful as the drivers they impede.
I'm an avid bike rider myself; but I go to great lengths to denounce CM's behavior when it comes up. They are an embarrassment to bike riders everywhere. To say nothing of Gandhi.
Yet it eludes Critical Mass.
When Critical Mass sets out to piss people off, it closes minds and hearts and ends any discussion. No one looks at the bicyclists with any envy or wonder or respect. There is no communication, there is only anger and resentment on both sides.
There are so many ways Critical Mass could use POSITIVE reinforcement to achieve so much more. But, alas, CM supporters are as impatient and angry and resentful as the drivers they impede.
I'm an avid bike rider myself; but I go to great lengths to denounce CM's behavior when it comes up. They are an embarrassment to bike riders everywhere. To say nothing of Gandhi.
42
@15
There, fixed that for you.
The second you get on a bike, you are making a choice between your own conveinence (sic) and other people's (aka pedestrian's) safety. By flagrantly disregarding all stop lights and stop signs, this makes Critical Mass selfish assholes by definition.
There, fixed that for you.
43
What we need is grade separation. Bicycles don't make any sense on the roads, since they have completely different vehicle dynamics from cars. Give 'em a separate ROW entirely. Otherwise, tragedy, carnage, assholery, gnashing of teeth, blog posts.
45
@ 1, shove it up your ass. When Slog restricts itself to Seattle issues, and only Seattle issues, you'll have a leg to stand on. (You'll still be an anonymous coward, though...)
46
I completely agree, Chicago Fan. This is a great piece.
eric.br, Critical Mass really does hurt your cause -- It's true that it makes people think more about bikers, but it makes them think more about how much they dislike them. That's not nonviolent protest, it's proto-adolescent tantrum throwing.
I walk or ride transit, so this isn't about being a car addict. I'm just a person who believes in behaving civilly, taken productive action and following the social contract.
eric.br, Critical Mass really does hurt your cause -- It's true that it makes people think more about bikers, but it makes them think more about how much they dislike them. That's not nonviolent protest, it's proto-adolescent tantrum throwing.
I walk or ride transit, so this isn't about being a car addict. I'm just a person who believes in behaving civilly, taken productive action and following the social contract.
47
This whole conversation is seriously misguided. I'm a middle aged working stiff who rides a bike to work and around the city. And I LOVE Critical Mass. I've been on dozens, maybe hundreds, of Critical Mass rides in cities around the world. I would never claim to be a spokesperson for such a wonderfully loose organization, but I can tell you this straight up: Critical Mass DOES NOT CARE what you think of us! We're not the least bit interested in the thankless task of swaying public opinion, which is already self-evidently opposed to bike riders. We ride because it's fun and because when there are enough of us, we get to stick a group finger in the eyes of humorless car drivers. I know, you think you own the street because you can't imagine actually getting around without burning fossil fuel. But I'm serious here: it's not about YOU.
48
hey 45 - this CM event WAS A SEATTLE ISSUE and your faggot ass is over 1000 miles away so go stick it up YOUR mile high ass and do something for your city rather than trying to 'be cool' with another cities event.
PS: YOU ALL ARE FUCKING MORONS
PS: YOU ALL ARE FUCKING MORONS
49
@19: Nicely done, sir. I'm always bemused by the attitude of some Sloggers that if you're not a lifelong Seattleite you have no right to speak and nothing useful to contribute.
50
I entirely and completely agree that drivers of ANY vehicle (bike or motorized) just don't fucking pay any attention. Cars don't notice bike riders, pedestrians, animals, hardly anything, but bicyclists are just as guilty of this. I have nearly been run over by someone blasting past a crosswalk, nearly knocking people off kilter, because they just weren't paying any fucking attention.
Yes, people in cars don't seem to take their driving seriously. They don't seem to realize that they are operating something that could easily KILL me as I walk across the street, or KILL a bicyclist just by not fucking paying attention to them.
BUT I also believe that SOME bicyclists are fucking cunts. They act entitled to the road, sidewalks, wherever the fuck they want. They pick and choose which traffic laws they want to obey. They fly from the sidewalk to the left turn lane without hardly even looking. Unfortunately for the bicyclists that participate in the CM bullshit, I just assume that you are the asshole that act this way on a regular basis. Why? Because all that you are doing is the same fucking thing on a larger scale. Acting entitled and not giving a shit about the other people on the road. And, yes, I know that cars do similar shit, and I know that some dumbasses should have their license revoked, etc. etc. etc. but don't beg to be treated like you have partial ownership over the road and then not follow the rules of the fucking road.
I love that people opt for walking or cycling over driving, but that doesn't make you any better, more invincible, or more entitled than anyone else on the road. How is this bullshit maneuver doing anything? What is the saying "two wrongs don't make a right"? It's about taking control of the road? Bullshit. It's a power trip. You get off on it. You are not making any difference. Nothing has changed. Nothing will. Try to learn to live and work with each other on the road. Ever thought of that?
More...
Yes, people in cars don't seem to take their driving seriously. They don't seem to realize that they are operating something that could easily KILL me as I walk across the street, or KILL a bicyclist just by not fucking paying attention to them.
BUT I also believe that SOME bicyclists are fucking cunts. They act entitled to the road, sidewalks, wherever the fuck they want. They pick and choose which traffic laws they want to obey. They fly from the sidewalk to the left turn lane without hardly even looking. Unfortunately for the bicyclists that participate in the CM bullshit, I just assume that you are the asshole that act this way on a regular basis. Why? Because all that you are doing is the same fucking thing on a larger scale. Acting entitled and not giving a shit about the other people on the road. And, yes, I know that cars do similar shit, and I know that some dumbasses should have their license revoked, etc. etc. etc. but don't beg to be treated like you have partial ownership over the road and then not follow the rules of the fucking road.
I love that people opt for walking or cycling over driving, but that doesn't make you any better, more invincible, or more entitled than anyone else on the road. How is this bullshit maneuver doing anything? What is the saying "two wrongs don't make a right"? It's about taking control of the road? Bullshit. It's a power trip. You get off on it. You are not making any difference. Nothing has changed. Nothing will. Try to learn to live and work with each other on the road. Ever thought of that?
51
@47: At least you're honest about it. I still don't like CM, but it's a relief when people admit it's about feeling empowered or being provocative and not about creating meaningful social change.
52
from #47 "Critical Mass DOES NOT CARE what you think of us! We're not the least bit interested in the thankless task of swaying public opinion, which is already self-evidently opposed to bike riders. We ride because it's fun and because when there are enough of us, we get to stick a group finger in the eyes of humorless car drivers."
======
Fine. I won't care at all when you get run over and your guts squirt out of your butthole. I have seen it happen before and the gal lived for about 15 minutes before she finally died crying and screaming.
======
Fine. I won't care at all when you get run over and your guts squirt out of your butthole. I have seen it happen before and the gal lived for about 15 minutes before she finally died crying and screaming.
53
@ 48, I lived in Seattle for 8 years, so pardon me if I feel that I can still speak intelligently about Seattle issues on a Seattle blog. You anonymous coward.
54
Chicago Fan, your last paragraph is so right on and so full of good common-sense... that, of course, it will never happen...
I like biking as much as the next person, but bikes are not The Dominant Animal on the roads, cars are, and for good reason...
And, I am growing hoarse from shouting "Same Roads, Same Rules" at asshole bikers I see ALL THE FUCKING TIME cutting through lanes, running red lights, crossing illegally -- you name it, if it can be done on a bike, it IS being done on a bike....... These people with their self-righteous attitudes can just go fuck themselves.
I like biking as much as the next person, but bikes are not The Dominant Animal on the roads, cars are, and for good reason...
And, I am growing hoarse from shouting "Same Roads, Same Rules" at asshole bikers I see ALL THE FUCKING TIME cutting through lanes, running red lights, crossing illegally -- you name it, if it can be done on a bike, it IS being done on a bike....... These people with their self-righteous attitudes can just go fuck themselves.
55
Also, @ 48, please note that I'm not commenting on CM at all, just your provincial, I-gotta-shut-up-those-I-disagree-with attitude which is exhibited by your lazy go-home postings. If you had something with which to criticize Chicago Fan, you would. You only have your pathetic defensiveness, however, so you take the low road.
56
This morning an asshole biker sat in the pedestrian crosswalk at NE 45th and Roosevelt blocking the crossing while he headed North.
Just because you can use a crosswalk when dismounted doesn't give the right to be an asshole and sit on your bike while 20 people are trying to cross as you endanger their lives.
Just because you can use a crosswalk when dismounted doesn't give the right to be an asshole and sit on your bike while 20 people are trying to cross as you endanger their lives.
58
@23,
While I agree with the first sentence of your last paragraph, I don't share the sentiment in the first para. At all. Probably because I've been on a bike, or on foot, far too many times where motorists could see me and knew I was attempting to cross a street in a legal manner and chose to completely ignore my presence. I've watched both pedestrians and cyclists be narrowly missed by motorists who didn't have the right-of-way...and who weren't on their cell phones or otherwise visibly distracted...just blow right past folks who *did* have the right of way. The difference, of course, is that the person with the thousands of pounds of metal has a unique responsibility to be aware of the damage they can do with their vehicle.
"Assholery" continues to work both ways. Putting the burden on cyclists isn't going to change it. And again, by the very nature of driving a car, you're accepting an additional burden - so the power relationship, and everything else associated with sharing the road, will never be the same.
While I agree with the first sentence of your last paragraph, I don't share the sentiment in the first para. At all. Probably because I've been on a bike, or on foot, far too many times where motorists could see me and knew I was attempting to cross a street in a legal manner and chose to completely ignore my presence. I've watched both pedestrians and cyclists be narrowly missed by motorists who didn't have the right-of-way...and who weren't on their cell phones or otherwise visibly distracted...just blow right past folks who *did* have the right of way. The difference, of course, is that the person with the thousands of pounds of metal has a unique responsibility to be aware of the damage they can do with their vehicle.
"Assholery" continues to work both ways. Putting the burden on cyclists isn't going to change it. And again, by the very nature of driving a car, you're accepting an additional burden - so the power relationship, and everything else associated with sharing the road, will never be the same.
59
I'm a law-abiding cyclist who dislikes Critical Mass. I get what they're trying to do, and I've joined in enough times to see how it goes, but no more. I've had too many bike-on-bike and bike-on-pedestrian close calls with non-law-abiding cyclists to believe cyclists bending the law is an interesting or useful protest at this point.
I don't see how this is a Chicago-vs-Seattle issue. I've seen similar hostility from Critical Mass riders directed at pedestrians and non-participating cyclists in both Portland and Seattle.
I don't see how this is a Chicago-vs-Seattle issue. I've seen similar hostility from Critical Mass riders directed at pedestrians and non-participating cyclists in both Portland and Seattle.
60
I'm with @51. Nice that you're honest, Gurldoggie... CMers as a whole should be more honest about it just being a fun time (and a chance to freak out the squares) with no real point (other than pissing off drivers, pedestrians, other bikers...). Own your asshole-ness.
61
Commenting on Seattle issues is restricted to those with at least 8 years' residency and a currently valid Seattle address.
63
The problem with Gurldoggie is she isn't honest-- she acts like CM is only pissing off car-worshipsing anti biking car drivers, when in fact CM is pissing off car worshipping anti biking car drivers, car using pro biking car drivers, car-neutral bikers, pro transit pro biking ocassional car users, all a/k/a the masses.
Dear CM why not change your name to "We Piss off the Masses and We Like It, That's the Point."
then we can call CMers honest.
Dear CM why not change your name to "We Piss off the Masses and We Like It, That's the Point."
then we can call CMers honest.
64
@60
Unless I'm missing something, I'm the only regular Critical Mass rider on here. All the "dishonesty" is because you're making shit up. Ascribing motives to someone you don't know is always dodgy. Reacting as if your inventions are facts seems to me like the source of much of the "asshole-ness" on this thread.
Unless I'm missing something, I'm the only regular Critical Mass rider on here. All the "dishonesty" is because you're making shit up. Ascribing motives to someone you don't know is always dodgy. Reacting as if your inventions are facts seems to me like the source of much of the "asshole-ness" on this thread.
65
@62: i think they'd get their panties in less of a bunch than the offended car drivers in these threads.
now, let's see this theoretical "pedestrian's union" organize such a counter-protest.
now, let's see this theoretical "pedestrian's union" organize such a counter-protest.
66
Just one point of clarification. As a Chicago masser for nearly a decade now, most of our masses do go to the South and West Sides. Reason? The folks who live there give us a far warmer welcome than the Northsiders. Also, if you;d take the time to look at Chicago Mass photos on flickr you'll find we're pretty representative of the city's ethnic and racial mix.
67
@64 ... I'm sorry, did you mean something else when you said that you "ride because it's fun" and that CM "DOES NOT CARE what you think of us!" ... did I miss something here or did you not ascribe to those motives outright yourself?
68
@64: Other people (eric.br, Lilting Missive) have claimed to be regular CM riders. One assumes Christopher Frizelle is also a regular rider. You're not the only one here that's posted speaking for the group. Others have implied that CM is trying to effect political change.
I think that's what I and @60 (who is one of the most balanced and thoughtful commenters here) are responding to.
I think that's what I and @60 (who is one of the most balanced and thoughtful commenters here) are responding to.
69
@67
Oh for sure. I'm all about having fun and paying you as little mind as possible. All that is true. What I never said was that I'm interested in taking some political stand or "trying to convince you of the righteousness of my cause." When you start up making up that kind of gobbledygook, you lose me and probably most other CM'ers. We're not the Bicycle Alliance. We don't expect a "bike-friendly Seattle" or any of those daydreams. We're just riding our bikes.
And as for @63, sure. Call us anything you want. We're still gonna ride together on the last Friday and make you 8 minutes late to watch your TV show. What'chu gonna do about it?
Oh for sure. I'm all about having fun and paying you as little mind as possible. All that is true. What I never said was that I'm interested in taking some political stand or "trying to convince you of the righteousness of my cause." When you start up making up that kind of gobbledygook, you lose me and probably most other CM'ers. We're not the Bicycle Alliance. We don't expect a "bike-friendly Seattle" or any of those daydreams. We're just riding our bikes.
And as for @63, sure. Call us anything you want. We're still gonna ride together on the last Friday and make you 8 minutes late to watch your TV show. What'chu gonna do about it?
70
Gurldoggie – There are plenty of CMers who say that the goal of CM is “to assert cyclists right to the road” or “to promote bikes as a fun, healthy, viable alternative to cars” (directly from the Seattle CM website). There are also plenty, like yourself, who say it’s to just “have some fun” and “build a greater sense of community” (also from the website).
I think many people get so irritated with CMers who say that the goal is advocacy or promoting bikers rights because CM actually does the opposite of those things, in their opinion. Hence much of the debate and emotion. Especially from people who are pro-biking and think that CM hurts the cause.
I think many people get so irritated with CMers who say that the goal is advocacy or promoting bikers rights because CM actually does the opposite of those things, in their opinion. Hence much of the debate and emotion. Especially from people who are pro-biking and think that CM hurts the cause.
71
Hey Gurldoggie: I posted a version of this on the original thread, but I'll repost it here so you can more easily find it:
As others have, I give you credit for being honest...at least you acknowledge the true goal of these rides: inconveniencing, even endangering, other people for no reason except to provide you with a good time, i.e., to "stick a group finger in the eyes." You rightly point out that the political agenda, whatever it may be, is a distant second to the cause of your own individual enjoyment, empowerment, etc. Congratulations! That air-headed detachment from reality perfectly encapsulates why almost the entire world hates you and your spiritual ilk (a diverse group that includes hippies and Paris Hilton, as well as militant bicyclists).
Your fantasy land of childlike reverie--"oh, we're just free spirits having fun and healing Mother Earth, and it's not about you squares who need to pick kids up at daycare, or get to the hospital, or whatever it is you do when you have a 'job'! La la la look at the pretty view!"--justifiably makes most of us want to puke.
But who cares, right? You're having a blast! Woohoo! I salute you and your grotesquely immature friends. Your blasé contempt for actual adults with actual responsibilities is a shining example for us all!
(P.S. I hate to admit this, but I actually love your free spirited ways. So allow me to be passive-aggressive and ask: Are you single?)
As others have, I give you credit for being honest...at least you acknowledge the true goal of these rides: inconveniencing, even endangering, other people for no reason except to provide you with a good time, i.e., to "stick a group finger in the eyes." You rightly point out that the political agenda, whatever it may be, is a distant second to the cause of your own individual enjoyment, empowerment, etc. Congratulations! That air-headed detachment from reality perfectly encapsulates why almost the entire world hates you and your spiritual ilk (a diverse group that includes hippies and Paris Hilton, as well as militant bicyclists).
Your fantasy land of childlike reverie--"oh, we're just free spirits having fun and healing Mother Earth, and it's not about you squares who need to pick kids up at daycare, or get to the hospital, or whatever it is you do when you have a 'job'! La la la look at the pretty view!"--justifiably makes most of us want to puke.
But who cares, right? You're having a blast! Woohoo! I salute you and your grotesquely immature friends. Your blasé contempt for actual adults with actual responsibilities is a shining example for us all!
(P.S. I hate to admit this, but I actually love your free spirited ways. So allow me to be passive-aggressive and ask: Are you single?)
72
@69 Okay, so you're not angry that we say that that you're acting like assholes that don't give a shit about other people on the road ... you're angry when people try to hypothesize about the reasoning behind the seemingly selfish and pointless act?
Umm, I'm all for having fun, but anyone who's definition of having fun is intentionally fucking other people over and placing their own values on my time is a straight up asshole, and not just while they are participating in the CM, you are an asshole all the time. Because you don't care about other people. You just care about your fun time.
Umm, I'm all for having fun, but anyone who's definition of having fun is intentionally fucking other people over and placing their own values on my time is a straight up asshole, and not just while they are participating in the CM, you are an asshole all the time. Because you don't care about other people. You just care about your fun time.
73
I could get into how CM has been a catalyst that has energized the cycling and alternative transportation advocacy community in Chicago and led to many real policy and infrastructural changes, but I really want to ask one question about the original post:
Hey Chicago Fan, while you were "blocked" by Critical Mass, did you ever consider that, since you were on a bicycle yourself, you could have easily heeded the friendly suggestion of the "CM dolts" and joined up with the ride for a block or so, then made your way across to the next side street and kept going on your merry way? Or was it more fun to just say "F you" and elicit an unsurprising negative reaction which you could turn into a snarky blog post?
Hey Chicago Fan, while you were "blocked" by Critical Mass, did you ever consider that, since you were on a bicycle yourself, you could have easily heeded the friendly suggestion of the "CM dolts" and joined up with the ride for a block or so, then made your way across to the next side street and kept going on your merry way? Or was it more fun to just say "F you" and elicit an unsurprising negative reaction which you could turn into a snarky blog post?
74
Drivers:
This Friday, lets pull the posts on the Burke Gilman and drive that sucker from ballard to kenmore.
It's the same logic as riding on the viaduct. We could be so rebellious! People will notice us and finally agree that cars should be able to go anywhere that they like.
This Friday, lets pull the posts on the Burke Gilman and drive that sucker from ballard to kenmore.
It's the same logic as riding on the viaduct. We could be so rebellious! People will notice us and finally agree that cars should be able to go anywhere that they like.
75
so chicago fan, basically you have picked up the attention span of the children you are "teaching"?
seems like you got taught.....
you couldn't wait 5 fucking minutes for these bikes?
guess what? if you drove instead of bike to your destinations with your horde of little nuggets you were carrying around you would have been back home early to jack off and catch a few shows on the tube.
seems like you got taught.....
you couldn't wait 5 fucking minutes for these bikes?
guess what? if you drove instead of bike to your destinations with your horde of little nuggets you were carrying around you would have been back home early to jack off and catch a few shows on the tube.
76
@73/75: But why should he? If CM is interfering with pedestrians AND other bikers... doesn't that basically just make them a mob/gang/bully?
77
No one has the right to delay me, for any reason whatsoever, from carrying out my legal business. Try it and you will remember it for the rest of your life (that's if you live).
78
I'm glad to finally know that the entire point of CM is only "to have fun", no matter whom it inconveniences, and that all I need to do is grab some friends, and suddenly I can do as I please. So CM-ers, when my freespirited friends and I come and greet the sunrise outside your bedroom windows with our bagpipes once a month, just chill, k? We only play for 15 minutes or so.
82
@76: "But why should he? If CM is interfering with pedestrians AND other bikers... doesn't that basically just make them a mob/gang/bully?"
Sure, if you want to look at it that way, then I suppose that any demonstration which uses the streets could be considered a mob/gang/bully. Or any funeral procession, Toys for Tots parade, street festival, etc.
But are you really asking me why it would have been a better response for Chicago Fan to just go with the flow for a few minutes instead of, by his own admission, turning the situation into a confrontation by resorting first to profanity and then to implied violence? Who's the bully here?
More to the point, who is more likely to change anyone's mind about anything? You do catch more flies with honey, and Chicago Critical Mass has been doing just that with great success, growing every year to the point where it now regularly attracts thousands of riders in the summer months. This was accomplished by the vast majority of participants working to make it a fun, friendly event, not by telling people to F themselves and brandishing U-locks as weapons. It's unfortunate that Chicago Fan's response was the latter. And it's just as unfortunate that all the commenters here who probably have never even witnessed a Chicago Critical Mass ride, let alone participated in one, are just as eager to throw stones.
Sure, if you want to look at it that way, then I suppose that any demonstration which uses the streets could be considered a mob/gang/bully. Or any funeral procession, Toys for Tots parade, street festival, etc.
But are you really asking me why it would have been a better response for Chicago Fan to just go with the flow for a few minutes instead of, by his own admission, turning the situation into a confrontation by resorting first to profanity and then to implied violence? Who's the bully here?
More to the point, who is more likely to change anyone's mind about anything? You do catch more flies with honey, and Chicago Critical Mass has been doing just that with great success, growing every year to the point where it now regularly attracts thousands of riders in the summer months. This was accomplished by the vast majority of participants working to make it a fun, friendly event, not by telling people to F themselves and brandishing U-locks as weapons. It's unfortunate that Chicago Fan's response was the latter. And it's just as unfortunate that all the commenters here who probably have never even witnessed a Chicago Critical Mass ride, let alone participated in one, are just as eager to throw stones.
83
This is a variant on the theme of, "we'd support you if you observed proper decorum, but since you don't we will totally ignore every valid point you make."
As if American cities are clamoring to build safe bike lanes and bike trails;
As if motorists who drive with cell phones or tailgate or shout at or throw things at bicyclists or pass too close are all just dying to become polite and respectful drivers;
and the only thing stopping them is the conduct of a few hippies at Critical Mass.
Yeah, right.
I also hear that unruly anti-war protesters are the main reason we're still in Iraq, and the presence of a few dozen sectarian socialists at some rallies is what's keeping us from having single payer health care. Until far left adolescents in their teens and early 20s act properly, liberals should ally with conservatives under a "law and order" paradigm. Also liberals should never get involved with the causes they lecture the left about, never join them or create a better alternative. Armchair sniping only, telling activists what they should do to get your affection even thought you'll never actually join them.
As if American cities are clamoring to build safe bike lanes and bike trails;
As if motorists who drive with cell phones or tailgate or shout at or throw things at bicyclists or pass too close are all just dying to become polite and respectful drivers;
and the only thing stopping them is the conduct of a few hippies at Critical Mass.
Yeah, right.
I also hear that unruly anti-war protesters are the main reason we're still in Iraq, and the presence of a few dozen sectarian socialists at some rallies is what's keeping us from having single payer health care. Until far left adolescents in their teens and early 20s act properly, liberals should ally with conservatives under a "law and order" paradigm. Also liberals should never get involved with the causes they lecture the left about, never join them or create a better alternative. Armchair sniping only, telling activists what they should do to get your affection even thought you'll never actually join them.
84
Gurldoggie, do you actually hear what it is you're saying? do you care how shallow and prejudiced you sound? the time that I have the greatest ire toward CM isn't when I happen to be driving downtown on the last Friday of the month (that would be idiotic). it's when I have nowhere to go and just happen to be cruising along downtown on foot for whatever reason and I see 200 or so dopes on bikes, many of whom I'm embarrassed to say are my friends, hooting and wheeing along the fucking road, pissing off anyone in sight. and sure, you think the only people who are mad at you are those who need to "go watch their tv show", but no everyone walking down the street thinks you suck too. you guys are a self-serving buzz kill.
85
I will only take CM "seriously" when the go cork in black neighborhoods. Otherwise I consider them a bunch of wimps.
87
@82: Most of those other events require a permit and give advance notice. There's a huge difference there.
88
@82: I've never experienced CM in Chicago, just Seattle and New York, so I may be unfairly judging your city's CM because of theirs. If so, I'm sorry.
93
reality check, everyone (and a rant):
Anyone will do anything as long as they think they can get away with it.
This goes for all of you, whether your drive your car, ride your bike, or walk. You know you've done it. You've pulled the dick move, the selfish move, because you knew you could. You coasted through the stop sign at speed. You went 85 in a 70 zone at night. You jaywalked without checking the street carefully.
The crime is the same in all cases: people acting selfishly on our streets. The difference here, and it's an important difference, is the consequences.
When someone in a car pulls a dick move, someone might die. When a driver speeds excessively, death is always an inch away. When a driver drives while texting, crashes, often horrible, occur.
Yet for some reason we all agree to focus on something else. Bicyclists running stop signs or lights. Annoying? Yes? Deadly? Rarely.
The inescapable fact is that when you are driving a car, every distraction you engage in has far more deadly consequences than other, less excessive modes of transit. Yet we all have decided to treat driving as something other than life-or-death. It is nothing. It is a harmless inconvenience, easily multi-tasked. People die every year because someone else was doing something stupid like looking for a bag of chips.
Yet we turn the other way and get mad at some bicyclists who hardly ever kill anyone. Except themselves, of course.
Anyone will do anything as long as they think they can get away with it.
This goes for all of you, whether your drive your car, ride your bike, or walk. You know you've done it. You've pulled the dick move, the selfish move, because you knew you could. You coasted through the stop sign at speed. You went 85 in a 70 zone at night. You jaywalked without checking the street carefully.
The crime is the same in all cases: people acting selfishly on our streets. The difference here, and it's an important difference, is the consequences.
When someone in a car pulls a dick move, someone might die. When a driver speeds excessively, death is always an inch away. When a driver drives while texting, crashes, often horrible, occur.
Yet for some reason we all agree to focus on something else. Bicyclists running stop signs or lights. Annoying? Yes? Deadly? Rarely.
The inescapable fact is that when you are driving a car, every distraction you engage in has far more deadly consequences than other, less excessive modes of transit. Yet we all have decided to treat driving as something other than life-or-death. It is nothing. It is a harmless inconvenience, easily multi-tasked. People die every year because someone else was doing something stupid like looking for a bag of chips.
Yet we turn the other way and get mad at some bicyclists who hardly ever kill anyone. Except themselves, of course.
94
@83: People protesting the Iraq war didn't do so by duplicating war atrocities. That would be a poor tactic - sort of like protesting driving culture by mimicking everything you hate about it.
I commute daily by bike, and I fucking hate you guys. Thanks for making my ride less safe just so you can get your screw-the-man jollies, assholes. And be honest with yourself - that's all it's about. (@21 doesn't deny it, to his credit.) It's certainly not to try to get motorists - a.k.a., voters - on your side for the next pro-bike levy.
Really, would a permit defeat the purpose? Explain how without confirming everything I've said above. Please, make your "valid point."
I commute daily by bike, and I fucking hate you guys. Thanks for making my ride less safe just so you can get your screw-the-man jollies, assholes. And be honest with yourself - that's all it's about. (@21 doesn't deny it, to his credit.) It's certainly not to try to get motorists - a.k.a., voters - on your side for the next pro-bike levy.
Really, would a permit defeat the purpose? Explain how without confirming everything I've said above. Please, make your "valid point."
95
Yow. Glad to get a little conversation going here. Some responses:
@45 You hit it. Seattle is part of the world, and issues in it are parallel/identical to issues in other cities. Common conversational ground, if not zip codes.
@ 66 I hear from friends/students who do CM (including one who was in the ride discussed here) that they do indeed go go black and Latino neighborhoods, where they feel very welcome and have fun. Good for them. By that point, they've dissipated somewhat, and are far more spread out, not corking the roads. That's always the downtown stick it to the man moment. Once the ride spreads out, then it's much more urban/friendly.
@ 73 No, it never occurred to me to join a bunch of inconsiderate assholes as they block traffic and alienate everyone but their own selves. I'd never join a march of anti-abortion protesters who were blocking my route for the same reason. I join them, I endorse them, and I will not do so. And the comparison is not off-hand: I know plenty of people who are anti-abortion (Catholics and all) who HATE anti-abortion protesters with their vile posters of mangled fetuses. Just as lots of middle of the road folks are alienated by those extremists, so lots of middle of the road folks are less likely to share the road with CM shitheads representing cyclists.
@75 But if I don't own a car, and if I drove, I couldn't've fit all my students into the car. And seeking parking in my neighborhood would severely slow down my masturbartory schedule; and I don't own a TV, so my jerking off usually involves memories of actual sexual experiences rather than video. So, thanks for the suggestion, but don't project your own habits on the rest of us. Oh, just like CM, trying to make everyone do as they do, ride as they ride, etc.
And hey, Gurldoggie, long time no tangle. Good to see your tag again. Want to argue sports? Isnt' cycling a sport? Isn't it therefore stupid?
More...
@45 You hit it. Seattle is part of the world, and issues in it are parallel/identical to issues in other cities. Common conversational ground, if not zip codes.
@ 66 I hear from friends/students who do CM (including one who was in the ride discussed here) that they do indeed go go black and Latino neighborhoods, where they feel very welcome and have fun. Good for them. By that point, they've dissipated somewhat, and are far more spread out, not corking the roads. That's always the downtown stick it to the man moment. Once the ride spreads out, then it's much more urban/friendly.
@ 73 No, it never occurred to me to join a bunch of inconsiderate assholes as they block traffic and alienate everyone but their own selves. I'd never join a march of anti-abortion protesters who were blocking my route for the same reason. I join them, I endorse them, and I will not do so. And the comparison is not off-hand: I know plenty of people who are anti-abortion (Catholics and all) who HATE anti-abortion protesters with their vile posters of mangled fetuses. Just as lots of middle of the road folks are alienated by those extremists, so lots of middle of the road folks are less likely to share the road with CM shitheads representing cyclists.
@75 But if I don't own a car, and if I drove, I couldn't've fit all my students into the car. And seeking parking in my neighborhood would severely slow down my masturbartory schedule; and I don't own a TV, so my jerking off usually involves memories of actual sexual experiences rather than video. So, thanks for the suggestion, but don't project your own habits on the rest of us. Oh, just like CM, trying to make everyone do as they do, ride as they ride, etc.
And hey, Gurldoggie, long time no tangle. Good to see your tag again. Want to argue sports? Isnt' cycling a sport? Isn't it therefore stupid?
96
"much like mahatma ghandi and martin luther king, jr., non-violent protest has been and will be an effective means to bring about social justice"
Cyclists: the new Black Man.
I guess this is what happens to bored, middle class white kids who are angry at their parents for raising....well, boring, middle class kids.
Good luck with the barista jobs guys.
"The second you get in a car, you are making a choice between your own conveinence and other people's safety. This makes car drivers selfish assholes by definition."
You folks are fucking nuts. this is why I giggle whenever a moron on a fixie gets nailed.
Cyclists: the new Black Man.
I guess this is what happens to bored, middle class white kids who are angry at their parents for raising....well, boring, middle class kids.
Good luck with the barista jobs guys.
"The second you get in a car, you are making a choice between your own conveinence and other people's safety. This makes car drivers selfish assholes by definition."
You folks are fucking nuts. this is why I giggle whenever a moron on a fixie gets nailed.
97
Aren't most CM'ers the same queer bait I see riding around in those spiffy cute, tight capri jeans held up by studded belts? Seriously, your butt cracks aren't that attractive boys. You must be the ones who think Seattle's hordes of ugly butch dykes are attractive because in pants like that I can't imagine how you get dates.
99
"That's always the downtown stick it to the man moment"
You are the man. You just think you're black and oppressed because you're on a fixie in queer bait capri jeans. Trust me, black folk think you're idiots too.
You are the man. You just think you're black and oppressed because you're on a fixie in queer bait capri jeans. Trust me, black folk think you're idiots too.
100
"I guess this is what happens to bored, middle class white kids who are angry at their parents for raising....well, boring, middle class kids."
roflmao. that pretty much sums up cm douches to a t. bored dipshits who need a struggle against "the man" to give their sad lives some meaning. i should know, i was one in college. seriously the only thing more pathetic than cm are the jesus freaks with giant signs yelling at people on westlake on the weekends. it's the same bullshit - bored, angry, dull-minded, useless people who think, nay, believe, that their life means something by annoying the living fuck out of other human beings just trying to go about their day.
roflmao. that pretty much sums up cm douches to a t. bored dipshits who need a struggle against "the man" to give their sad lives some meaning. i should know, i was one in college. seriously the only thing more pathetic than cm are the jesus freaks with giant signs yelling at people on westlake on the weekends. it's the same bullshit - bored, angry, dull-minded, useless people who think, nay, believe, that their life means something by annoying the living fuck out of other human beings just trying to go about their day.
103
"ored, angry, dull-minded, useless people"
Exactly. They are only worse than the self righteous, right wing crazies because I don't have to actually deal with them in Seattle. Instead I get the aggrieved, Daddy hating, white fundamentalist leftist screaming at us about how we should conduct our lives.
Seriously, my week's are soooooo much more fun when some helmetless, queer-bait in capri jeans on a fixie gets nailed. Life is so dull since Bryce Lewis stepped up for his Darwin Award. Any volunteers this week?
Exactly. They are only worse than the self righteous, right wing crazies because I don't have to actually deal with them in Seattle. Instead I get the aggrieved, Daddy hating, white fundamentalist leftist screaming at us about how we should conduct our lives.
Seriously, my week's are soooooo much more fun when some helmetless, queer-bait in capri jeans on a fixie gets nailed. Life is so dull since Bryce Lewis stepped up for his Darwin Award. Any volunteers this week?
105
@100
"bored, angry, dull-minded, useless people who think, nay, believe, that their life means something by annoying the living fuck out of other human beings just trying to go about their day."
"annoying the living fuck out of other human beings just trying to go about their day."
"annoying the living fuck"
"annoying"
lol 1/10 troll postan.
"bored, angry, dull-minded, useless people who think, nay, believe, that their life means something by annoying the living fuck out of other human beings just trying to go about their day."
"annoying the living fuck out of other human beings just trying to go about their day."
"annoying the living fuck"
"annoying"
lol 1/10 troll postan.
107
Dear Dan:
When I ride my fixie with CM, I like to wear super tight capri jeans so that my buttcrack sticks out, 'cuz there's this really kewl boi that I think is really kewl. The problem is that my weenis is so small that it makes me look like I have camel toe, and I'm worried he won't like me. What should I do?
When I ride my fixie with CM, I like to wear super tight capri jeans so that my buttcrack sticks out, 'cuz there's this really kewl boi that I think is really kewl. The problem is that my weenis is so small that it makes me look like I have camel toe, and I'm worried he won't like me. What should I do?
108
@12 - Just how does getting in people's faces screaming "fuck you" and threatening bodily harm equate to non-violent civil disobedience?
@all - Anyone else notice how each CM'er who posts has a different theory of what they are doing and why but NONE take any responsibility?
@all - Anyone else notice how each CM'er who posts has a different theory of what they are doing and why but NONE take any responsibility?
109
Seriously boys, where do you put your nuts when you wear those tight, little capri jeans on your bikes? Or do you have to leave them at home in a jar with your womyn?
110
It's a fair question @95. I'll bite.
I still think that organized sports are the basest form of entertainment. By and large, professional athletes are a bunch of pill-popping overpaid overdeveloped rapists engaging in sanctioned bloodsport for the drug addled masses. When cycling follows the same pattern, it's just as worthy of scorn. Iron Man wannabees in their embarrassing logo-plastered spandex? To Kent with them. The Tour de Wherever? You can keep it.
But Critical Mass is anything but organized and professional. It's one small step away from complete chaos, which is what makes it so volatile and so fun. You can show up when you want and peel away when you want. You can ride a thousand-dollar custom built bike or a $20 bike offa Craigslist. And for all the crap being thrown around "hipsters," that's only a small part of the demographic. In addition to the tight pants crowd, there's also plenty of professionals, jocks, stoners, high school teachers grade school kids, goof balls, nerds, moms & dads with their kids, and old people on 24-speed bikes like me. It's basically a welcoming and non-competitive scene. No one "wins" and the only losers are the jerks who lean on their horns while their blood pressure rises, or the sad sorry basement dwellers who live to show off their ignorance on blogs like this one.
I still think that organized sports are the basest form of entertainment. By and large, professional athletes are a bunch of pill-popping overpaid overdeveloped rapists engaging in sanctioned bloodsport for the drug addled masses. When cycling follows the same pattern, it's just as worthy of scorn. Iron Man wannabees in their embarrassing logo-plastered spandex? To Kent with them. The Tour de Wherever? You can keep it.
But Critical Mass is anything but organized and professional. It's one small step away from complete chaos, which is what makes it so volatile and so fun. You can show up when you want and peel away when you want. You can ride a thousand-dollar custom built bike or a $20 bike offa Craigslist. And for all the crap being thrown around "hipsters," that's only a small part of the demographic. In addition to the tight pants crowd, there's also plenty of professionals, jocks, stoners, high school teachers grade school kids, goof balls, nerds, moms & dads with their kids, and old people on 24-speed bikes like me. It's basically a welcoming and non-competitive scene. No one "wins" and the only losers are the jerks who lean on their horns while their blood pressure rises, or the sad sorry basement dwellers who live to show off their ignorance on blogs like this one.
111
"It's basically a welcoming and non-competitive scene."
No doubt that explains why so many of the women I saw in a CM last summer were so FUGLY. Seriously, not one looker in the whole chain that rode through Ballard while I sat out at Cafe Verite. We had to keep our dog on a short leash, though, he saw lots of potential in those non-competitive womyn.
No doubt that explains why so many of the women I saw in a CM last summer were so FUGLY. Seriously, not one looker in the whole chain that rode through Ballard while I sat out at Cafe Verite. We had to keep our dog on a short leash, though, he saw lots of potential in those non-competitive womyn.
112
I'll say this again. I'm a daily cyclist. I don't own a car. I ride all year.
Critical Mass is COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE AT BEST. I'm sure it's fun for y'all, but you're just annoying everyone. You're not doing civil disobiendence right. You don't make people think. You don't make people see the injustice of your position. Part of that is because you're acting like assholes, the other part is because you aren't suffering a terrible injustice. Mediocre bike lane just are not the same as being exploited by the British Empire or not being allowed to vote.
I about 14 miles a day on Seattle streets, plus errands. I know what traffic is like here. Drivers are by-and-large courteous but often a little oblivious. The worst (to me) are the drivers who insist on giving me the right of way when it is not rightfully mine. Messes up the flow of traffic for everyone.
I used to ride in Boston. Drivers were aggro, streets were narrow, it snowed a lot. Bicyclists in Seattle really have it pretty good, though frankly Boston drivers were a lot more predictable (they'd just fucking go, you could count on it). I rode in Portland Maine, even worse weather and the drivers were completely unused to bikes being around.
So, in summary: Critical Mass is a bunch of whiny twits who hurt cycling as a cause.
Also, bikes are allowed on the sidewalk and the road in Seattle. I only use the sidewalk on some shoulderless stretches of Lake City Way and other such streets.
Critical Mass is COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE AT BEST. I'm sure it's fun for y'all, but you're just annoying everyone. You're not doing civil disobiendence right. You don't make people think. You don't make people see the injustice of your position. Part of that is because you're acting like assholes, the other part is because you aren't suffering a terrible injustice. Mediocre bike lane just are not the same as being exploited by the British Empire or not being allowed to vote.
I about 14 miles a day on Seattle streets, plus errands. I know what traffic is like here. Drivers are by-and-large courteous but often a little oblivious. The worst (to me) are the drivers who insist on giving me the right of way when it is not rightfully mine. Messes up the flow of traffic for everyone.
I used to ride in Boston. Drivers were aggro, streets were narrow, it snowed a lot. Bicyclists in Seattle really have it pretty good, though frankly Boston drivers were a lot more predictable (they'd just fucking go, you could count on it). I rode in Portland Maine, even worse weather and the drivers were completely unused to bikes being around.
So, in summary: Critical Mass is a bunch of whiny twits who hurt cycling as a cause.
Also, bikes are allowed on the sidewalk and the road in Seattle. I only use the sidewalk on some shoulderless stretches of Lake City Way and other such streets.
113
"By and large, professional athletes are a bunch of pill-popping overpaid overdeveloped rapists engaging in sanctioned bloodsport for the drug addled masses."
Especially all those professional ice skaters, gymnasts, tennis and golf players, CYCLISTS, martial arts experts, blah blah blah... all pill-popping rapists. Thanks, Girldoggy, This explains so clearly the CM outlook on life, which is: Me (CM rider) = perfect beautiful free spirit just out to have fun; Everyone else = murderous drug-afflicted violent psychopathic yuppie butcher driving a death machine aimed directly at me while simultaneously raping the Earth.
Also, are the people trapped in hot, sweaty public transit because you're in the way part of the demographic you hate so much? What about those that can't cycle to work - disabled, elderly, people who've had medical procedures that prevent them from cycling, people who live too far in order to reach a compromise with their spouse who works in the opposite direction, because both of them need jobs that pay more than a barista at a shitty Capitol Hill "cafe", or perhaps those that, god fucking forbid, drive part of the time and walk or cycle or use transit part of the time, or jesus fucking christ people who drive because they want to and enjoy it?
You really need to spend some time getting the sand out of your vagina and realizing that not everyone wants to live your lifestyle. I know that's a *super* hard concept to accept. But a world where everyone does whatever the fuck they please because they think it's the right thing to do, and fuck everyone else, is a shitty place that most of us don't want to live. You can, by all means, fuck right off and move somewhere to you little utopia and live that way, and let the rest of us get on with life, you stupid bitch.
More...
Especially all those professional ice skaters, gymnasts, tennis and golf players, CYCLISTS, martial arts experts, blah blah blah... all pill-popping rapists. Thanks, Girldoggy, This explains so clearly the CM outlook on life, which is: Me (CM rider) = perfect beautiful free spirit just out to have fun; Everyone else = murderous drug-afflicted violent psychopathic yuppie butcher driving a death machine aimed directly at me while simultaneously raping the Earth.
Also, are the people trapped in hot, sweaty public transit because you're in the way part of the demographic you hate so much? What about those that can't cycle to work - disabled, elderly, people who've had medical procedures that prevent them from cycling, people who live too far in order to reach a compromise with their spouse who works in the opposite direction, because both of them need jobs that pay more than a barista at a shitty Capitol Hill "cafe", or perhaps those that, god fucking forbid, drive part of the time and walk or cycle or use transit part of the time, or jesus fucking christ people who drive because they want to and enjoy it?
You really need to spend some time getting the sand out of your vagina and realizing that not everyone wants to live your lifestyle. I know that's a *super* hard concept to accept. But a world where everyone does whatever the fuck they please because they think it's the right thing to do, and fuck everyone else, is a shitty place that most of us don't want to live. You can, by all means, fuck right off and move somewhere to you little utopia and live that way, and let the rest of us get on with life, you stupid bitch.
114
"Especially all those professional ice skaters, gymnasts, tennis and golf players, CYCLISTS, martial arts experts, blah blah blah... all pill-popping rapists,"
I don't know about rape, but drug/steriod use is rampant in cycling.
I don't know about rape, but drug/steriod use is rampant in cycling.
115
I do believe you're missing the point. Admittedly, the point is not well stated by CM, but I think you would do well to consider that their poorly-conceived PR department is, in fact, part of the point. The idea you have for a biking organization is a good one, but if CM takes your suggestion, then someone else will have to take their place. It's too bad that you're so annoyed by the brief monthly occurrence, but maybe you should take this as an indication that you should lighten up. Caught in the "chaos" of the mass? Breathe. It'll be okay.
116
I am a martial artist and I will kick all your asses if you keep saying shit about martial artists taking drugs and being rapists. Plus I ride bikes and I'm getting really mad. That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Get a car” bullshit that’s going one in Seattle right now. Bicycles deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Kerin bicycle in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even ride a backwards circle with my bicycle.
Japanese welders spend years working on a single bicycle and file it up to a million times to produce the finest lugs known to mankind.
Bicycles are thrice as efficeint as cars and thrice as awesome for that matter too. Anything a car can drive through, a bicycle can ride through better. I’m pretty sure a bicycle could easily beat a car in a race downtown.
Ever wonder why American car companies never bothered setting up business in Japan? That’s right, they were too scared to be shown up by the superior Japanese bicycles. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the bicycles first because their mobility was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Bicycles are simply the best form of transportaiton that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better laws in Seattle. Here is the legislation I propose for bicycles:
* Ignore stop signs and red lights (just like jaywalking)
* No speed limits
* Can go on any roads (INCLUDING FREEWAYS)
* $100 a month pay bonus for being GREEN
Now that seems a lot more representative of the riding power of bicycles in this city, don’t you think?
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I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Kerin bicycle in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even ride a backwards circle with my bicycle.
Japanese welders spend years working on a single bicycle and file it up to a million times to produce the finest lugs known to mankind.
Bicycles are thrice as efficeint as cars and thrice as awesome for that matter too. Anything a car can drive through, a bicycle can ride through better. I’m pretty sure a bicycle could easily beat a car in a race downtown.
Ever wonder why American car companies never bothered setting up business in Japan? That’s right, they were too scared to be shown up by the superior Japanese bicycles. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the bicycles first because their mobility was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Bicycles are simply the best form of transportaiton that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better laws in Seattle. Here is the legislation I propose for bicycles:
* Ignore stop signs and red lights (just like jaywalking)
* No speed limits
* Can go on any roads (INCLUDING FREEWAYS)
* $100 a month pay bonus for being GREEN
Now that seems a lot more representative of the riding power of bicycles in this city, don’t you think?
118
CM ="I'm going to do this because I want to have fun. If it inconveniences you, you need to lighten up or fuck off. If you're annoyed, you need to lighten up or fuck off. If you don't like it, you need to lighten up or fuck off. And if you don't do exactly as we say when we're illegally blocking the street or the intersection during multiple red lights, then our goons will come and beat you down."
119
@115:
Huh? Why?
The idea you have for a biking organization is a good one, but if CM takes your suggestion, then someone else will have to take their place.
Huh? Why?
120
"In addition to the tight pants crowd, there's also plenty of professionals, jocks, stoners, high school teachers grade school kids, goof balls, nerds, moms & dads with their kids, and old people on 24-speed bikes like me"
.....and 99.9% white. Just look at the photos.
I wonder why the African American community hasn't joined your civil rights struggle since cyclists, according to CM, are the new blacks? Does that make Lance Armstrong the new MLK?
.....and 99.9% white. Just look at the photos.
I wonder why the African American community hasn't joined your civil rights struggle since cyclists, according to CM, are the new blacks? Does that make Lance Armstrong the new MLK?
121
"Try that corking shit down in Holly Park, bitches"
Are u kidding? They're cowards. They head to neighborhoods filled with wobbly kneed white liberals who won't stand up to them. That way they get a captive audience for the CM mantra that cyclists are the new Blacks, an oppressed minority.
It's tough being white and middle class; you have to actively search for ways to get oppressed.
Are u kidding? They're cowards. They head to neighborhoods filled with wobbly kneed white liberals who won't stand up to them. That way they get a captive audience for the CM mantra that cyclists are the new Blacks, an oppressed minority.
It's tough being white and middle class; you have to actively search for ways to get oppressed.
122
are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding? are u kidding?
123
Bicycle is a vehicle. As such, we cyclists have same rights and responsibilities as car drivers. That means we have the right to be on the road any time, to occupy a lane, and also that we need to stop at red lights, etc.
Once per month, we get together to re-claim the city from the noisy, dangerous, expensive stinkers on four wheels that America has grown ever so fond of. This love affair, by the way, is what built and killed Detroit, and unless we change something in a big way, the rest of the country will follow suit. The trouble is that most people don't see that, but most people don't think long-term and don't see much farther than the tip of their nose. That is why I ride as much as I can; that, and because I love it, because it is good exercise, lots of fun, etc. And CM is full of wonderful people of all ages and kinds. So if once a month we inconvenience a few of you drive-thru-gimme-convenience-or-gimme-death bozos (or some cattle from Seattle) all I can say is - whatever. Cry me a river, or stay in your suburb with your car and I will stay in my city with my bicycle. You inconvenience and endanger us in a big way the rest of the month.
Once per month, we get together to re-claim the city from the noisy, dangerous, expensive stinkers on four wheels that America has grown ever so fond of. This love affair, by the way, is what built and killed Detroit, and unless we change something in a big way, the rest of the country will follow suit. The trouble is that most people don't see that, but most people don't think long-term and don't see much farther than the tip of their nose. That is why I ride as much as I can; that, and because I love it, because it is good exercise, lots of fun, etc. And CM is full of wonderful people of all ages and kinds. So if once a month we inconvenience a few of you drive-thru-gimme-convenience-or-gimme-death bozos (or some cattle from Seattle) all I can say is - whatever. Cry me a river, or stay in your suburb with your car and I will stay in my city with my bicycle. You inconvenience and endanger us in a big way the rest of the month.
124
"CM is full of wonderful people of all ages and kinds."
Yes, it's 99% white people but from the pinkish whites of Northern Europe, to the swarthy whites of Southern Europe, it's a veritable smorgasbor-ed of oppressed middle class, white kids with college educations, who think everyone should live like them.
Yes, it's 99% white people but from the pinkish whites of Northern Europe, to the swarthy whites of Southern Europe, it's a veritable smorgasbor-ed of oppressed middle class, white kids with college educations, who think everyone should live like them.
125
@123: "So if once a month we inconvenience a few of you drive-thru-gimme-convenience-or-gimme-death bozos (or some cattle from Seattle) all I can say is - whatever."
This myopia seems to be the only common characteristic in all the pro-CM commenters here. "The only people we inconvenience are selfish, dangerous, borderline-murderous, environment-killing slime."
What I'd like to know is how CM got their superpowers that let them inconvenience only evil people. Bitten by a radioactive narcissist?
This myopia seems to be the only common characteristic in all the pro-CM commenters here. "The only people we inconvenience are selfish, dangerous, borderline-murderous, environment-killing slime."
What I'd like to know is how CM got their superpowers that let them inconvenience only evil people. Bitten by a radioactive narcissist?
126
So how is someone with 2 young kids at separate schools (thanks for political correctness at the SPS), a spouse who works downtown, while I have contract work all over the county and state; how are hard working people like us who put in 50-60 hr weeks at challenging and interesting jobs, how are we supposed to do all this on tricycles...sorry, bicycles? Can you explain?
I remember when I was 24 and a barista too, it was a hoot, but it also wasn't work and also didn't contribute squat to the tax base.
I remember when I was 24 and a barista too, it was a hoot, but it also wasn't work and also didn't contribute squat to the tax base.
127
So how is someone with 2 young kids at separate schools (thanks for political correctness at the SPS), a spouse who works downtown, while I have contract work all over the county and state; how are hard working people like us who put in 50-60 hr weeks at challenging and interesting jobs, how are we supposed to do all this on tricycles...sorry, bicycles? Can you explain?
I remember when I was 24 and a barista too, it was a hoot, but it also wasn't work and also didn't contribute squat to the tax base.
I remember when I was 24 and a barista too, it was a hoot, but it also wasn't work and also didn't contribute squat to the tax base.
128
So how is someone with 2 young kids at separate schools (thanks for political correctness at the SPS), a spouse who works downtown, while I have contract work all over the county and state; how are hard working people like us who put in 50-60 hr weeks at challenging and interesting jobs, how are we supposed to do all this on tricycles...sorry, bicycles? Can you explain?
I remember when I was 24 and a barista too, it was a hoot, but it also wasn't work and also didn't contribute squat to the tax base.
I remember when I was 24 and a barista too, it was a hoot, but it also wasn't work and also didn't contribute squat to the tax base.
129
The last two CM threads features the perspectives of what fuels movements like CM, i.e. assholes whose M.O. is to make others miserable in the name of making a statement but is really about getting their philosophical rocks off.
These people, no matter what they tell you about how happy doing this makes them or how happy their lives are etc., hate themselves as much as they hate the people they think they're sticking it to when they block the road at 7-10 mph. This subconscious motivation is why they think doing this is totally acceptable.
The bottom line is that all of CM's actions are motivated by hate, and hate is a negative emotion than motivates negative actions that only produce negative results.
These people, no matter what they tell you about how happy doing this makes them or how happy their lives are etc., hate themselves as much as they hate the people they think they're sticking it to when they block the road at 7-10 mph. This subconscious motivation is why they think doing this is totally acceptable.
The bottom line is that all of CM's actions are motivated by hate, and hate is a negative emotion than motivates negative actions that only produce negative results.
130
I stopped riding a bike in Seattle about five years ago. Two reasons; the dumb guys on bikes of all ages who think they can cut people off that get in "their" way and the asshole drivers in the central area. Both groups make the streets and dangerous for cyclists and both groups can SUCK ON MY EXHAST FUMES!
132
@123 says they have the rights and responsibilities of cars, which is correct. Then says they "re-claim" the streets once a month. Uh-no, corking a street and blocking a freeway isn't re-claiming a right or responsibility. It's just plain illegal.
133
"Stupid White Man" is correct. There are white people on Critical Mass rides. Therefore, nothing we say is to be taken seriously. On the other hand, "Stupid White Man" himself is as black as night and his opinions should be paid the utmost respect regardless of how repetitive and childish they may seem. Thanks for keeping it real White Man!
135
"There are white people on Critical Mass rides. "
No, there are NOTHING but white people at these rides, 99%. That's why we can ignore them; a spoiled class or privileged, white middle class douchebags who just wish they could be oppressed and feel 'real'. Hence all the stupid tribal tattoos and facial piercings that give fat chicks lisps.
Seriously, this class of privileged white douche bags has to really make an effort to get oppressed by 'the man'.
No, there are NOTHING but white people at these rides, 99%. That's why we can ignore them; a spoiled class or privileged, white middle class douchebags who just wish they could be oppressed and feel 'real'. Hence all the stupid tribal tattoos and facial piercings that give fat chicks lisps.
Seriously, this class of privileged white douche bags has to really make an effort to get oppressed by 'the man'.
136
And how come Seattle's CM'ers have always head North to the safety of the Great White North above the Ship Canal?
137
I mean seriously, you have to work really hard to be this FUGLY and angry at your parents:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mookmonkey/…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mookmonkey/…
139
@123:
yes, you are only inconveniencing people from the suburbs who are on their way to a McDonalds drive-thru. no one else is hindered by your actions and no other people who live in the city have issues with what you are doing. and they do... fuck 'em! they're just part of the problem obviously!
yes, you are only inconveniencing people from the suburbs who are on their way to a McDonalds drive-thru. no one else is hindered by your actions and no other people who live in the city have issues with what you are doing. and they do... fuck 'em! they're just part of the problem obviously!
140
oh, Stupid White Man:
let's keep it realistic here. sure we can comment on the whiteness of CM'ers and all, how it purportedly damages the credibility of the movement, but as far as personal appearences? fuck that man. who cares if they're ugly or over-pierced or whatever, that's not the issue here.
let's keep it realistic here. sure we can comment on the whiteness of CM'ers and all, how it purportedly damages the credibility of the movement, but as far as personal appearences? fuck that man. who cares if they're ugly or over-pierced or whatever, that's not the issue here.
141
" but as far as personal appearences?"
Hey, if the women I saw at last years CM ride thru' Ballard had been attractive, I would have at least enjoyed watching them. Seriously, if you're gonna make me sit there and wait, give me some eye candy, not ugly chicks with bad tattoos and lisps from their lip hoops.
Hey, if the women I saw at last years CM ride thru' Ballard had been attractive, I would have at least enjoyed watching them. Seriously, if you're gonna make me sit there and wait, give me some eye candy, not ugly chicks with bad tattoos and lisps from their lip hoops.
142
138, Zardoz speaks to you, His chosen one. ZARDOZ is pleased with your boots. You have been raised up from Brutality, to kill the Brutals who multiply, and are legion. To this end, Zardoz your God gave you the gift of the Boots. The Boots are good!
143
@139, that's the crux of the problem. The typical CM rider sees the world like this:
CM rider: good; Everyone else: evil
The CM rider does not differentiate "everyone else". It does not matter to them if you are a cyclist taking transit that day, an elderly or disabled person who cannot ride a bicycle, a pedestrian, or god fucking forbid, someone who drives a car, but perhaps lives the rest of their lives greener than a CM rider can possibly comprehend. You are either with CM, or against. You are either good, or evil. You are either a savior, or devil. It is black and white. There is no in between, and no mercy. Ride with CM, or die.
Okay, a bit dramatic, not die, but you get the point. CM is a hardened core and there is no room for those who waver or dissent. With, or against. Repeat ten thousand times and you might almost believe it.
CM rider: good; Everyone else: evil
The CM rider does not differentiate "everyone else". It does not matter to them if you are a cyclist taking transit that day, an elderly or disabled person who cannot ride a bicycle, a pedestrian, or god fucking forbid, someone who drives a car, but perhaps lives the rest of their lives greener than a CM rider can possibly comprehend. You are either with CM, or against. You are either good, or evil. You are either a savior, or devil. It is black and white. There is no in between, and no mercy. Ride with CM, or die.
Okay, a bit dramatic, not die, but you get the point. CM is a hardened core and there is no room for those who waver or dissent. With, or against. Repeat ten thousand times and you might almost believe it.
144
BTW, if you ever hang out near Monorail Espresso, you'll see quite a few CM/messenger douches. These fuckwads could seriously give a shit about the environment, or society, or saving the planet. Their sole purpose is to get blasted (whiskey in flasks, beer, pot) and take out their aggression on anyone in reach. There are two in particular that frequent CM - one of them an Asian-Pacific Islander who smokes a cigar, and another white douche with dreadlocks, tattooos and what appear to be filed down teeth. These fucktards ride through downtown and environs up on the sidewalks, weaving through traffic and clipping corners to purposefully scare the shit out of pedestrians. Both of them are totally aggro and looking for a fight any time of day. CM gives them yet another excuse to bash passerby. This has absolutely nothing to do with saving the planet - they could give a shit about that - and everything to do with mob violence.
145
@119
The suggestion here is a good one. Someone should organize such an organization. That would be very nice. Very nice.
Do you understand the point of Critical Mass, though? It's not just a matter of a bunch of assholes having fun (and some of them are undoubtedly assholes). There is something there that merits your attention.
The fact that they have bicycles and that YOU have bicycles has nothing to do with it. Open your mind.
The suggestion here is a good one. Someone should organize such an organization. That would be very nice. Very nice.
Do you understand the point of Critical Mass, though? It's not just a matter of a bunch of assholes having fun (and some of them are undoubtedly assholes). There is something there that merits your attention.
The fact that they have bicycles and that YOU have bicycles has nothing to do with it. Open your mind.
146
Douches on bicycles merit attention? In the same way that Mad Rad or leopard-print spandex leggings or neon high tops merit attention? Which is to say, none at all?
147
142 - What about the tomato Diapers with the matching bullet suspenders? Does Zardoz think it is a bit much? My horse thinks they make me look fat.
148
Critical Mass is a lot of fun to participate in and that's the bottom line. There is safety in numbers, like a pack of animals in the savanna. Go ahead and run with the analogy. Call us unthinking animals. We're too busy enjoying the ride to care.
149
@148- that's exactly why it is dangerous- "unthinking animals" = mob mentality = acceptable because the idiot next to you did it first. of course it's fun.
150
"Critical Mass Rides Into the Aurora Tunnel"
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l \ . C ___) ______ (_(____> | /
l /\ | C ____)/ \ (_____> |_/
l / /\| C_____) | (___> / \
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l | \ |__ \\_________// (__/ |
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l /\ | C ____)/ \ (_____> |_/
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l | ( _C_____)\______/ // _/ / \
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155
man chicagofag, frizzelle got your number. you get like 150 messages and he's all like "FUCK CHI TOWN SEATTLE RULEEZZ!". his new thread already has a 100 more. pwned!
156
So happy people are threatening death in passive aggressive joke form. If it's not a joke, cool. Run over someone and have fun in jail. I'm sure your family at your trial will be real proud to have your indignant views enjoyed by the crying family of the human being you ran over in your car.
Be pissed. Do it. Kill. Watch someone's guts on the street #29.
Kill. Kill. Kill. Because that's what you do when someone does something to piss you off/disagree with you. Because when they don't do something to please you, they stop being a person.
Even better if someone does it to someone related to you.
I wonder how many people you know and love ride bikes? Know any 5 year olds on training wheels? Have a mountain biking 16 year old cousin who sometimes rides to their friend's house? Your best friend at the office?
Kill Kill Kill #29 and the rest of you wishing death on people. Go ahead.
I'll be at the vigil for the people that you hit. And I'll be at your trial waiting for a guilty verdict.
Be pissed. Do it. Kill. Watch someone's guts on the street #29.
Kill. Kill. Kill. Because that's what you do when someone does something to piss you off/disagree with you. Because when they don't do something to please you, they stop being a person.
Even better if someone does it to someone related to you.
I wonder how many people you know and love ride bikes? Know any 5 year olds on training wheels? Have a mountain biking 16 year old cousin who sometimes rides to their friend's house? Your best friend at the office?
Kill Kill Kill #29 and the rest of you wishing death on people. Go ahead.
I'll be at the vigil for the people that you hit. And I'll be at your trial waiting for a guilty verdict.
157
So happy people are threatening death in passive aggressive joke form. If it's not a joke, cool. Run over someone and have fun in jail. I'm sure your family at your trial will be real proud to have your indignant views enjoyed by the crying family of the human being you ran over in your car.
Be pissed. Do it. Kill. Watch someone's guts on the street #29.
Kill. Kill. Kill. Because that's what you do when someone does something to piss you off/disagree with you. Because when they don't do something to please you, they stop being a person.
Even better if someone does it to someone related to you.
I wonder how many people you know and love ride bikes? Know any 5 year olds on training wheels? Have a mountain biking 16 year old cousin who sometimes rides to their friend's house? Your best friend at the office?
Kill Kill Kill #29 and the rest of you wishing death on people. Go ahead.
I'll be at the vigil for the people that you hit. And I'll be at your trial waiting for a guilty verdict.
Be pissed. Do it. Kill. Watch someone's guts on the street #29.
Kill. Kill. Kill. Because that's what you do when someone does something to piss you off/disagree with you. Because when they don't do something to please you, they stop being a person.
Even better if someone does it to someone related to you.
I wonder how many people you know and love ride bikes? Know any 5 year olds on training wheels? Have a mountain biking 16 year old cousin who sometimes rides to their friend's house? Your best friend at the office?
Kill Kill Kill #29 and the rest of you wishing death on people. Go ahead.
I'll be at the vigil for the people that you hit. And I'll be at your trial waiting for a guilty verdict.
158
I didn't even want to begin reading the comments, but @1: your mother is very proud of you right now. Really.
@ ChicagoFan: YAY!!!
@ ChicagoFan: YAY!!!
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