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Saturday, May 30, 2009

Yesterday's Critical Mass Ride

Posted by on Sat, May 30, 2009 at 4:06 PM

Left Westlake Center around 6:00, did a few turns through downtown streets, funneled into the Pacific Place parking garage and out the other side, then down First Avenue to Safeco Field, and then there was some confusion while a couple cyclists started pedaling up the viaduct onramp. No way. Right? No way were we going up onto the freeway. Right? The girl next to me was visiting from Calgary. It was her first day in Seattle. Why'd she decide to vacation in Seattle? "Because you felt like riding your bike on the freeway?" I said, as it became clear that this freeway thing was on, we were doing it, we were moving up the onramp. "Yeah, because I felt like riding my bike on the freeway," she said, smiling hugely.



At the top of the ramp we waited until the group was dense enough to move out into traffic.


A car SCREEEECHed to a stop. Once we corked the flow of traffic, we were golden.


Deep thought: Could we just turn the viaduct into an elevated bike path? Wouldn't that be insanely cool? Holy expletive, it's beautiful up there. There were news choppers overhead.


The elevated freeway, of course, becomes an underground tunnel as it passes Belltown.



On the other side of that tunnel the freeway turns two-way, but there's a center divider to protect you from the traffic coming at you. And then the freeway becomes the Aurora Bridge, which has no divider.




The trip ended at Golden Gardens, with people swimming while the sun set.

Critical Mass happens at 5:30 at Westlake Center on the last Friday of every month. Anyone with a bike is encouraged to ride. The more people, the more of a chance you get to do things like RIDE YOUR BIKE ON THE FREEWAY. More info here. Photographs by Adam Shahan.


Comments (323) RSS

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That sounds epic. I would never dare to ride a bike on the freeway out here in Phoenix, no matter how many other bikers there are.
Posted by Zach Annon on May 30, 2009 at 4:15 PM · Report this
Vince 2
I'm all for biking. But going onto the freeway sounds like a dumb idea and a disaster waiting to happen. Why tempt fate?
Posted by Vince on May 30, 2009 at 4:22 PM · Report this
You guys are a-holes.
Posted by bitchetybitch on May 30, 2009 at 4:28 PM · Report this
It's not illegal to ride on the freeway?
Posted by hal on May 30, 2009 at 4:31 PM · Report this
Can we get a 50 miler and a double-the-loop century ride going on 99, I 90, 520 and I 5?

Would be beautiful.
A sunday in August perhaps.

Or do we only close freeways for blue angels and other carbon-emitter worshipping?

Posted by PC on May 30, 2009 at 4:31 PM · Report this
My first and only CM was Halloween 2007, and we rode on the viaduct while the sun was setting. I haven't been back since, because I can't top that.
Posted by teenage eagle on May 30, 2009 at 4:35 PM · Report this
What a bunch of fucking assholes. I always defend bikers to my boyfriend who has an unreasonable hatred of them. But shit like this makes me rethink my defense.
Posted by Chris on May 30, 2009 at 4:37 PM · Report this
You guys are fucking assholes. Durr let's ride bikes on a 50 mph freeway because bikes are cool! Fuck all of those people who need to get places on time. Go bikes! FUCK YOU. Jesus fucking Christ.
Posted by The CHZA on May 30, 2009 at 4:40 PM · Report this
road rage!
Posted by keith on May 30, 2009 at 4:50 PM · Report this
Idiots. There's nothing to be proud of. It's inconsiderate assholes like this that make people not want to share the road with bikers. CM is a disservice to the biking community. But it's a big party, so who cares right?
Posted by jinushaun on May 30, 2009 at 4:50 PM · Report this
I'd like to think that the ad hoc traffic jam delayed enough emergency vehicles by enough minutes to lead to at least one cardiac arrest goner. That would be a real swell outcome.
Posted by BLUE on May 30, 2009 at 4:50 PM · Report this
fixies are for douchebags. next month i'll hijack a steamroller and mow those posers down
Posted by hipsters! on May 30, 2009 at 4:53 PM · Report this
Reality Check 13

You guys are a bunch of Critical Assholes. Period.

I sincerely hope the WSP catches 50-75 of you trying that again sometime, arrests you on the spot, seizes your vehicles, and resells them for being used in the commission of a crime of disrupting interstate commerce. Hopefully they will think of something creative like that to put the smack down on your civil disobedience.

Better yet, I hope that some enraged driver decides on his own to make an example of all of you, and plows over a whole bunch of you, killing at least a few of you to make an example.

Yes it has come to that.

You Critical Assholes are anarchists now, and deserve to be treated as such. The general public may have been sympathetic to your cause in the past, but you have shown a continual pattern of trying to be assholes often enough that you no longer deserve any support or empathy for the "stated goals" you think you deserve.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Posted by Reality Check on May 30, 2009 at 4:54 PM · Report this
CodyBolt 14
Yeah this makes me really not want to share the road with bikers even more.
Posted by CodyBolt on May 30, 2009 at 4:54 PM · Report this
You all are idiots.
Posted by *rollseyes* on May 30, 2009 at 4:57 PM · Report this
So much fun. Made only more so by reading the reactions above. Out of curiousity, how many Sloggers out there were actually inconvenienced by CM riding on the Viaduct and 99?
Posted by Stop Hating on May 30, 2009 at 5:06 PM · Report this
Isn't there a bike only trail that runs up the exact same route starting around Elliot avenue and going by all the parks and water?

The whole thing seems really unnecessary and gives bicyclists a bad name.
Posted by The Unicycler on May 30, 2009 at 5:10 PM · Report this
lostboy 18
A car SCREEEECHed to a stop.

That should have been clue enough that what you were doing was a really bad idea.

CM causes at least as much grief for (the sane majority of) Seattle bicyclists as it does for drivers.  Does Reality Check's revenge fantasy @13 have to come true before this ass-hattery finally dies?
Posted by lostboy on May 30, 2009 at 5:17 PM · Report this
Ziggity 19
I've been to one Critical Mass. It was boring, and pretty stupid - at one point the riders in the lead went around the block and ran into the back of the mass - and it didn't do a goddamn thing to make anyone more comfortable or supportive of bicyclists sharing the road.

This looks like fun, but no less so than a legal bicycle parade, or road race.

I doubt the passive-aggressive pussy Slog trolls are actually that emotionally disturbed to run into cyclists as a result of seeing these pictures, but when it comes time to give more money to cyclists in Olympia, if anybody in the legislature was stuck in this clusterfuck, well . . . I'm just glad you enjoyed yourselves.
Posted by Ziggity on May 30, 2009 at 5:21 PM · Report this

We interrupt this thread for a much needed joke.

Question. Why don't Polish women use vibrators?

Answer. It chips their teeth.
Posted by Stanislaw Lebowski on May 30, 2009 at 5:22 PM · Report this
Well, 18, it already did, last year. And, I suppose the ass-hattery continues, despite people freaking out and getting angry over nothing.
Posted by b-lard on May 30, 2009 at 5:23 PM · Report this
Aw, da powr widdle cawrs hadda slow down for da eviwl, nawsty bicycwists! Boo-hoo! I am sooooooo mad at dem stoopid bicycwists for making me two minutes late to my dinner date at Dwagon Fwish!

I hate, Hate, HATE bicycwists!
Posted by Self-Absorbed Upper-Income Seattleite on May 30, 2009 at 5:27 PM · Report this
Agreed. It's a dick move. Maybe some perspective would help us understand how this is a good thing? Maybe? Anyone?
Posted by honestabel on May 30, 2009 at 5:31 PM · Report this
Fifty-Two-Eighty 24
Is it just me, or does Frizelle turn into a bigger asshat with every passing day?
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on May 30, 2009 at 5:32 PM · Report this
@22. Thanks now I understand. It really was a dick move.
Posted by honestabel on May 30, 2009 at 5:32 PM · Report this
Julie in Eugene 26
I think the thing that I sort of dislike about Critical Mass is that it paints itself up to be this high-minded thing about creating awareness of the biking community, bikers rights, sharing the road, etc. When, really, it seems like it's just a big social event.

If you want to have a social get-together, ride bikes, engage in some fun crimes & misdemeanors, fine. If you want to advocate for bikers rights and bike-friendly policies, fine. But any time anyone says hey, maybe you could do those things without fucking over a lot of other people, it's like you've just clubbed a baby seal or something.

Eh, but my experience is mostly from Chicago's CM, which I thought was sort of pointless (in terms of bike policies, anyways) because we had one of the most bike-friendly mayors around.
Posted by Julie in Eugene on May 30, 2009 at 5:32 PM · Report this
If there's any justice in this world, the Viaduct won't collapse until the next time it's overrun by Critical Massholes.
Posted by joykiller on May 30, 2009 at 5:32 PM · Report this
Reality Check 28
@18 I have no revenge fantasy. It is simply something of a slow motion collision that many can envision happening at this point.

One only needs to look at this past Memorial Day weekend's story about the commuter who shoved the suicidal person off the bridge for slowing up traffic as a sign that the general public is completely thru with putting up with Asshats impeding the orderly flow of traffic for their own selfish reasons. It is not much of a stretch to think that some angry driver who has had the "pleasure of experiencing" the ASSHOLE behaviour of Critical Assholes before, will simply say "enough" and take matters into their own hands.

And for you Critical Assholes who participated in such assholery, when it DOES happen, please do NOT come back here or anywhere else and whine how you were victimized and didn't deserve such an overreaction.

WHEN that day comes... and it definitely will... the general public will hold YOU responsible for your actions that incited the behaviour.
Posted by Reality Check on May 30, 2009 at 5:34 PM · Report this
Westlake, son! 29
It's actually legal to ride on 99 north of Mercer and south of the West Seattle Bridge. Y'all just got on too early.

Citation? Check out the WSDOT bicycle map in the Seattle area.
Posted by Westlake, son! on May 30, 2009 at 5:35 PM · Report this
devilsmoke 30
@13, Disrupting interstate commerce my ass. Next time you're sitting in a rush hour parking lot and there's not a bike in sight (happens twice every weekday), think about that statement again.

Freeways are tied up infinitely more by the selfish assholes who absolutely have to get to work and back by car every single day than by critical massers riding by for an hour each month.

Your point of view is predicated on the backwards notion that bikes are toys and are never used by people who 'have to get somewhere.' I have to get to work six days a week and unless I'm sick, it's by bike.
Posted by devilsmoke on May 30, 2009 at 5:37 PM · Report this
@30 People jam up the freeways to...dun dun dun...Go to work. Critical Mass jams up the freeway dicks? That's sure what it seems like, at the very least.
Posted by DoesntDrive on May 30, 2009 at 5:39 PM · Report this
devilsmoke 32
@31 knew that was coming; it's not a very good point. Half the people on the freeway are just taking it one exit to their grocery store so they can throw a gallon of milk in the back. Half the people on the freeway have alternatives to driving a personal vehicle to and from work.

Everyone's to blame, it's just easier for the vast majority of commuters (single-occupancy vehicles) to bitch about bikers than realize that they contribute to the problem as well.
Posted by devilsmoke on May 30, 2009 at 5:43 PM · Report this
Come on guys. They did it ONCE. Getting pissed about this happening one time in the last 50 years of highway 99's existence? Big fucking deal. This story sounds way more epic and fun compared to anything thats ever happened n the viaduct, ever. And I'm a fairly conservative guy...
Posted by JesseJB on May 30, 2009 at 5:43 PM · Report this
I bike everyday. I don't have a car.


Seriously, y'all fucking hurt bike advocacy. You're assholes who do shit the inconveniences other people and makes you feel powerful and does nothing to promote the cause.
Posted by dwight moody on May 30, 2009 at 5:48 PM · Report this
lostboy 35
RC @28, maybe "comeuppance scenario" would better fit?

b-lard @21, I read RC @13 as envisioning something more lethal than the incident last year.

I really don't want to see anyone end up a pavement smear, not even a CM rider.  It'd be nice if CMers gave a rat's ass about the people they disagree with, too.
Posted by lostboy on May 30, 2009 at 5:51 PM · Report this
mackro 36
I can understand having initial frustration from a driver's POV, if we only take into consideration a driver that accidentally hits a cyclist doing something the cyclist isn't supposed to do, and then the CM mob attacks the driver. (NOTE: *not* trying to stir up the last incident with the driver that acted all crazy when surrounded by CM riders)

But an every day car accident would cause a much worse delay than a whole gang of CM'ers. Are we going to get really angry at people who cause driving accidents too? GRRRR PEOPLE WHO GOT CRUSHED IN ACCIDENT, YOU DELAYED MY WEEKEND DRIVE. lol.

Maybe I'm more sympathetic to CM right this second because the pictures in this post are GORGEOUS. I was outside in Fremont near the Canal today, and remembered why I live here and love it here.
Posted by mackro on May 30, 2009 at 5:51 PM · Report this
The purposes of Critical Mass actions is to demand respect for bikers' right to be on the road, and open minds about the value of biking. The result of this action would do just the opposite. Taking over a patch of road feels amazingly empowering, but the political result is self-defeating. Sadly it seems like adolescent yahoos instead of effective political change.

Perhaps the Stranger has already done this story, but it would be interesting to interview biker groups who support CA and those who don't. My guess is CA actions do next to nothing for political change, and don't have much support outside those who participate.

Work instead for opening streets & areas of the city that are non-motor-vehicle on set days each month - as NYC is experimenting with. Work to get a real voice on the city council who bikes and knows about bike solutions that are being tried in other cities (Eugene, NYC, Amsterdam). Organize with employers who recognize the value of bikes - Adobe, Amazon, etc - and bike retailers to raise money to make political donations for politicians that support bike issues.
Posted by kitaj on May 30, 2009 at 5:52 PM · Report this
itsmarkmitchell 38
We wanna be free! We wanna be free to do what we wanna do. We wanna be free to ride. We wanna be free to ride our machines without being hassled by The Man!
Posted by itsmarkmitchell on May 30, 2009 at 5:54 PM · Report this
Carollani 39
Bunch of dickholes. Why STOP traffic? Do you really think that people in cars will be like, "wow, I'm going to ride my bike from now on!" WTF. You have no regard for anybody else's needs or agenda. Shouldn't you be wanting to promote a healthy side-by-side relationship? Safe cars + bikes = love? W.T.F.

Epic? Seriously? I don't think that word means what you think it means. It was bikes on the freeway.
Posted by Carollani on May 30, 2009 at 5:55 PM · Report this
lostboy 40
JesseJB @33, CM has ridden the viaduct at least twice in two years that I know of.
Posted by lostboy on May 30, 2009 at 5:56 PM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 41
This is exactly the kind of stunt that makes normally bike friendly folks enraged at asshole cyclers. Blocking all traffic on a major highway during Friday rush hour isn't going to sway many people to your cause.

It sounds like it was a fun, beautiful ride. But could you have maybe confined yourselves to one lane, rather than blocking all northbound traffic for miles? No. The only point I can see to blocking all three lanes is to make monumental assholes of yourselves.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on May 30, 2009 at 6:03 PM · Report this
Reality Check 42
@35 yes I'm envisioning somebody completely losing their mind, and mowing over 20+ cyclists with reckless abandon, killing at least a half dozen in the process....

Critical Assholes are completely wrecking any empathy from the majority of public who drive with their actions.

The problem with the logic of the Critical Assholes, is that it is one thing to "cork" a city street where speeds are designed to be safe in populated areas... it is a completely different scenario when Critical Assholes try bringing higher speed freeways/interstates down to their speeds. Highways are designed solely for vehicles designed to go a certain safe minimum speed limit. Washington RCW law mandates that vehicles have to be travelling 45? MPH at a MINIMUM to be allowed on those roads. Hell they ban mopeds that cannot do that minimum speed.

Tell me Critical Assholes reading this thread... what would your pathetic excuse have been, if that vehicle that screeched to a stop in surprise hadn't been able to stop soon enough? What if? Would you be all smug in your anarchy? Who would you hold to blame?

All it would have taken is one inattentive driver looking out across the water, or one driver who didn't see any vehicles ahead of them, and was partially blinded by the bright sun, and not LOOKING FOR BICYCLES on a HIGHWAY for a terrible tragedy to have occurred.

But then again.. you have never been known for being responsible in any fashion...

Tell me... was ECB a part of this ride?
Posted by Reality Check on May 30, 2009 at 6:04 PM · Report this
when people march on DC, the cops shut Pennsylvania Avenue and people WALK on the street for hours and hours.
is that also a problem for you critical mass haters, people walking on the street?
Critical Mass brings attention to the fact that we build roads to favor cars and no one else, not moms with their baby strollers, not people in wheel chairs, not kids trying to get to and from school.
Someday there will be far fewer cars in cities because there will be too many people..
Look at New York City 23% car ownership in Manhattan.…
hopefully you people who hate critical mass will support cycling and public transit in other ways
Posted by on May 30, 2009 at 6:05 PM · Report this
Why not one day a year for the huge Seattle bikeathon. If it's super popular start adding more days. You can get a nice 50 miles by going from Golden Gardens down to Myrtle and around Alki to Lincoln...and would be super cool to come back on WS bridge and Aurora...

Point is, live up to the goal, and get real masses, say 20,000 riders.
This would be on TV nationally. Set it up for some charity like bikes for kids who can't afford them or some disease. Maybe add in car free lake bridges?

This would let the masses participate, including folks who aren't into breaking the law, or can just do 5 miles and need to bring little kiddies and grandmas. Even our mayor could manage to go a few miles, I'm sure.

Something that's actually for the masses, not the tiny group of critical assholes.
Posted by PC on May 30, 2009 at 6:11 PM · Report this
@43 people on huge marches in DC get a permit.

This makes it inviting for the general public.

Then, the public supports them, instead of hating them.

Can you understand the difference?

Same thing in NYC, they shut down roads in the park for bikes LEGALLY and now they even shut down times square LEGALLY so peds make it a ped mall.

Can you understand the diff b/ legal and illegal??

Posted by PC on May 30, 2009 at 6:15 PM · Report this
The biblical literalists of the biking community.

Posted by FU CM on May 30, 2009 at 6:15 PM · Report this
Yeah, I'm sure I'll be hatin' on those CM'ers too, the next time some dick-wad in his car tries to run me down while I'm legally crossing an intersection, because they're running late to an appointment, and I'm "impeding the flow of traffic".

When it comes to asshattery, CM'ers got no monopoly over automobilists...
Posted by COMTE on May 30, 2009 at 6:17 PM · Report this
@32, no one takes the Viaduct one exit (at rush hour) to get a gallon of milk. This isn't a state highway in Bumfuck, WA -- this is one of the most congested highways in metro Seattle. People use it to get to and from work. And CM decided to inconvenience thousands of commuters for their own self-gratification. There's no justification for that.
Posted by joykiller on May 30, 2009 at 6:19 PM · Report this
lostboy 49 @43:
Critical Mass brings attention to the fact that we build roads to favor cars and no one else...

Does it really?  Seems to me to only prompt discussions about Critical Mass itself.

hopefully you people who hate critical mass will support cycling and public transit in other ways

We wholeheartedly do, and that's a lot of why we get so angry about how CM damages those causes.
Posted by lostboy on May 30, 2009 at 6:19 PM · Report this
MR. Language Person 50
Wow. Reviewing the comments here has made me think of several things.

@11 nailed it. Freeways are designed to separate fast moving vehicles from the rest of traffic--and for what? Safety. That's right, CM motherfuckers, so cars can go faster, and can do it without some potential disaster moving at 15 mph.

You want bike rights? Great, you can get them, but this type of self-righteous "protest" does nothing. All the commuters see is a bunch of kids having fun at everybody else's expense.

...and who cares if some idiots drive "for one exit to pick up a gallon of milk from the grocery store." You're willing to screw up everyone else for a couple of losers? Fine, let's ban alcohol because some people are drunken asshats. Let's stop selling bicycles because some people bike off trails in state parks and cause erosion.
Posted by MR. Language Person on May 30, 2009 at 6:20 PM · Report this
Reality Check 51
@47 Yeah I'll be hatin' too... the next time some dick-wad on a street corner decides to illegally step into an intersection against the light just because they are running late to an appointment, and thereby "impeding legal traffic" by pulling some assholery move. I have no sympathy for pedestrians or bicycles that don't follow the rules of the road the same way automobiles are expected to.

And we all know which one happens more every day in downtown Seattle now don't we?


Posted by Reality Check on May 30, 2009 at 6:24 PM · Report this
Baconcat 52
@43: Yeah, bike hobbyists really give a shit about pedestrians.
Posted by Baconcat on May 30, 2009 at 6:26 PM · Report this
Hey! Who's up for driving Hummer's down the Burke-Gilman? That would be such a blast, and the cyclists and pedestrians can just pull off to the side while we have our fun. It won't delay them long.

This attitude of "I want to do what I want to do, and other people are insignificant insects." makes you a jerk whether you are in an SUV or on a bicycle.

I get around entirely by walking and public transit if it makes any difference.
Posted by Chas on May 30, 2009 at 6:27 PM · Report this
Reality Check 54
@53 that is actually a heckuva good idea... Hmm...

Maybe on the last Friday evening of next month, we should organize some 4X4 clubs to come to downtown Capital Hill and have an impromptu parade down to the Burke Gilman? Maybe they can travel side by side 3 or 4 wide, and bully everyone off the trail for a few miles! We'll all have some laughs, take photos and pass out fliers for more off roading opportunities within Seattle City limits!

Sounds great!!

Hmmm I'm sure something along those lines can be arranged....

Might be the start of a new trend!
Posted by Reality Check on May 30, 2009 at 6:31 PM · Report this
I think this is funny, don't get me wrong. But I swear to Christ I wouldn't give a flying fuck if an accident happened and one of you died. I'd laugh harder. Especially if it were you, where your death would be mentioned in a Slog post with the comments turned off, and I'd troll my lulz on every post for the next 48 hours, just like I did with Erica getting busted for stealing a fucking $9 bottle of wine.
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 30, 2009 at 6:32 PM · Report this
@53 FTW
Posted by Jakey on May 30, 2009 at 6:37 PM · Report this

My asshole has more brains than that.

My dog's asshole has more brains than that.

The old PC-XT in my garage has more brains than that.
Posted by RonK, Seattle on May 30, 2009 at 6:37 PM · Report this
Few have been as effective at alienating the general public and sabotaging the environmental and alternative transportation movements as the douchenozzle ass-clowns that do Critical Mass. I would melt you all for biofuels if I could.
Posted by Halcyonic on May 30, 2009 at 6:43 PM · Report this
by the tone of these comments it sounds like most SLOG readers are straight out of los angeles. are your little cars really so sacred?
Posted by keith on May 30, 2009 at 6:44 PM · Report this
Banna 60…

Coming soon to a critical mass ride near you. Not a threat, just an inevitability.
Posted by Banna on May 30, 2009 at 6:47 PM · Report this
@59 troll harder
Posted by The CHZA on May 30, 2009 at 6:49 PM · Report this

I've never driven a car in my life. Bet you have.
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 30, 2009 at 6:49 PM · Report this
@59, like I said I get around on foot or on public transit. I have no love for cars. Many car drivers act like complete jerks. Convincing drivers to not act like jerks would make things better. Getting streets that were friendlier to bike riders and pedestrians would make things better. Encouraging bike riders and pedestrians to also act like jerks makes things worse.
Posted by Chas on May 30, 2009 at 6:55 PM · Report this

that's commendable and yes, i have driven one. i just don't understand how emotional folks get when their freedom to drive is threatened.
Posted by keith on May 30, 2009 at 6:58 PM · Report this
emor 65

you ever been to seattle?

as for the ride: it was epic and fun and I felt sort of queasy the whole time. my experience riding bikes every day has led me to believe that nothing any bicyclist does has any effect on how anyone is treated. crazy traffic blocking once a month or not.

interestingly, when you're on the rides you get more support than anything else. even from people stopped in their cars. people getting mad is actually the minority reaction. unlike the internet echo chambers.
Posted by emor on May 30, 2009 at 7:00 PM · Report this
@45 permit or not, Pennsylvania Ave is still closed to traffic which is a major inconvenience to most people in vehicles.
bicycling on a freeway is not the smartest idea, but it is perfectly legal to ride a bicycle on the road two abreast in most places. Overtaking vehicles need to be respectful of other vehicles in the roadway.
the difference between legal and illegal?
There are plenty of examples that demonstrate blatant disregard for the law. Let's start with GWBush's signing statements but move right into traffic law.
1) It is illegal to drive above the speed limit. Do you drive at or below the speed limit?
2) the law saws you are to prepare to stop when you see a yellow traffic signal light. Do you slow down when you see a yellow traffic signal?

People don't get anything from the government without asking/demanding it. Critical Mass is a demand on the government to do something about roads that suck for people not driving. Gandhi, MLK, and Susan B Anthony all demanded action from the government in a non-violent way. Those who write that they want to run over bicyclists should try to find inner peace and empathy instead of expressing their anger and frustration through violent speech.
Posted by on May 30, 2009 at 7:03 PM · Report this
@53 it is not legal to drive a motorized vehicle on a bicycle / pedestrian path
Posted by on May 30, 2009 at 7:05 PM · Report this
lostboy 68
shit.  lot of comments here from bicyclists who hate CM and arguments about CM being counterproductive.  don't have answers for those.

ok, think.  I know how handle this.

*  Ignore points I can't answer.  Pretend they weren't made.
*  Pick a straw man position and pretend it characterizes all who are opposed.
*  Tie the straw man to a bias against outsiders to invoke guilt by association.
*  Use mockery.  Provoke an emotional defensive response that will be easier to argue against.

ok, I've got it.

by the tone of these comments it sounds like most SLOG readers are straight out of los angeles. are your little cars really so sacred?

keith @59
Posted by lostboy on May 30, 2009 at 7:06 PM · Report this
geez, all this and - geez - they wern't even naked

let's face it, naked, it could be more pointed

what an excuse for getting rid of excess hormones. well, getting naked might be better viewing

Signed: Seat jammed into naked ass is cool
Posted by Jammed is Cool on May 30, 2009 at 7:10 PM · Report this

FTW and the lucky number on a totally wonder Sat. night

And, three cheers for mass naked ass. Bikers, who gives a shit
Posted by Slim or round, all good on May 30, 2009 at 7:14 PM · Report this
@67, but you just defended non-violent civil disobedience in @66. I'm sure we can find some 4x4 fans who would love to drive down the Burke-Gilman as a political protest to limits on off-road vehicles. I think they're crazy, but if CM can ride down the viaduct as an of civil disobedience, why couldn't the 4x4s drive down the Burke-Gilman as an act of civil disobedience?
Posted by Chas on May 30, 2009 at 7:14 PM · Report this
@32 besides what 48 said, a major difference is the bikers are blocking traffic DELIBERATELY. That's what makes them dicks. I don't think anyone goes, "I'm going to take my car to the store to get a gallon of milk and fuck up traffic for everyone else." Sure, a lot of people drive more than that should, but that doesn't change the fact that this was a stupid juvenile stunt, masking itself as some sort of political statement.

Also, i don't know anyone who has to get on the freeway to buy milk.
Posted by doesntdrive on May 30, 2009 at 7:23 PM · Report this

sorry if my comment was bad form.

my intention was to address comments like 7, 8, 10, 13, 14, etc, that see cars as owning the road. i think that is a major problem and like that CM draws attention to those of us who choose to bike and walk. so maybe going on 99 was excessive and maybe chas @63 is right in saying that it doesn't have to be so in-your-face, but still, the underlying problem seems to be this lust for and dependence on cars.
Posted by keith on May 30, 2009 at 7:23 PM · Report this
I hated bikes until I was held up by a CM ride. I saw the light and now I love them.

Children should all emulate them and grow up to be bike messengers.

Do not hate them, pity them.
Posted by abc on May 30, 2009 at 7:25 PM · Report this

I have no idea which happens more often, and I seriously doubt you do either. But regardless, there's a very good reason drivers are expected to adhere to a higher level of deferral when it comes to vehicle/pedestrian interactions - they're the ones driving the potentially death-dealing machines. A pedestrian walking against the light will delay the driver for a few seconds, perhaps a couple of minutes at-most; a motorist running a red light has the ability to kill someone outright.

Drivers who don't anticipate idiot moves by pedestrians simply aren't paying attention to their surroundings with the proper level of defensive awareness. Anyone with half a brain should expect some iPod wearin', cell-phone talkin', cracked out or whatever pedestrian to step out into the street when they shouldn't; that's what the whole concept of "defensive driving" means, but drivers tend to be just as distracted, just as unaware or their immediate surroundings as the hapless pedestrians that annoy them.

And that's how people die.
Posted by COMTE on May 30, 2009 at 7:27 PM · Report this

Why not a CM on the runway at SeaTac? Those airplanes think they own the airport.

The CM also held up buses, hate them too?

How about a CM at some swimming pools , on tennis courts, downtown sidewalks, on the light rail tracks...
Posted by abc on May 30, 2009 at 7:31 PM · Report this
stinkbug 77
I was at the start of mass, but sadly couldn't ride along as I had to get elsewhere. Which reminds me of a pet peeve...

It used to be that CM would *start* at roughly 5:30pm. This allows the riders to be on the road when there is still a fair amount of rush hour traffic around. Over time though, the starting time has slipped farther and farther back. People would rather chat and socialize than ride. Last night's ride didn't push off until after 6:15pm. Yeah, call me a grumpy person, but that's just annoying.

Anyhow, those complaining about CM blocking traffic should go outside and see how empty some of these streets are after 6:30pm on a Friday night. Often there's not a ton of traffic that's getting blocked. You should be happy they don't start the ride on time.
Posted by stinkbug on May 30, 2009 at 7:37 PM · Report this

No. There is no reason that drivers should be required to anticipate anything other than legal moves by pedestrians or cyclists. Note to idiots on the Hill: cars will kill you if you jaywalk, and they will not go to jail, but you will go to the morgue.

To return to the actual topic, rather than your pet issue, the last time I saw CM on the viaduct, I blasted right by, as they were illegally blocking traffic. Not recklessly, but nor did I wait while they acted like teenagers failing in the adult world.
Posted by Yo. on May 30, 2009 at 7:38 PM · Report this
stinkbug 79
Also, I've ridden on many rides and have waved at many passerbys who wave and smile back (and even say encouraging words). Despite what some above claim, there are many non-biking people out there that get a kick out of CM and don't mind it at all.
Posted by stinkbug on May 30, 2009 at 7:41 PM · Report this
south downtown 80
Way to go CM.

Too bad to all the car fans, quit you cryin'. And what are you doing sitting at the computer on a beautiful day? Not out DRIVING AROUND?

After years of CM in San Francisco, the freeways were an elusive dream. Thanks for the visceral thrills Christopher.
Posted by south downtown on May 30, 2009 at 7:43 PM · Report this
@45 -- Penn. Avenue is closed right near the White house only, it's not closed most of its length, people marching on it get permits.
MLK Ghandi and S. Anthony were expanding the vote; you've got it; go persuade people. Oh wait, you're failing at that, because you piss people off.
Critical Mass is a failure because you revel in pissing off people which reduces support for bikes (and transit and peds) so you can get a thrill. You get a small number of people to join your rides. There is no mass -- your name is a fraud. A true mass bike ride would be 20,000 riders, with kids and grandmas included, instead of the small clueless band that you are, the core of which is so deluded they dont' even see they are not welcome, and they create opposition, just like religious fundamentalist Christians at a NARAL rally. That's what you are like. Oh wait, we're supposed to pity you, I guess because you ride bikes. OK you are pitiable.


Posted by PC on May 30, 2009 at 7:51 PM · Report this
Julie in Eugene 82
I'd just like to point out that, at least in Chicago, CM inconveniences pedestrians at least as much as, if not more than drivers. Those CMs were huge, and it could mean a 5-10 minute delay if you were walking somewhere and needed to get to the opposite side of where ever the CM ride was going. And, at 5:30 on a Friday there were many more pedestrians than drivers downtown...

So, yeah, all of the "oh the poor drivers who were inconvenienced!" crap fails to acknowledge that everyone is inconvenienced, not just drivers.
Posted by Julie in Eugene on May 30, 2009 at 7:53 PM · Report this
Reality Check 83
@75 You said: "Anyone with half a brain should expect some iPod wearin', cell-phone talkin', cracked out or whatever pedestrian to step out into the street when they shouldn't; that's what the whole concept of "defensive driving" means, but drivers tend to be just as distracted, just as unaware or their immediate surroundings as the hapless pedestrians that annoy them.

And that's how people die."

So to follow your logic, we should be worried about distracted drivers right?

Hmmm.... sounds like a catastrophe waiting to happen by Critical Assholes driving onto the viaduct on a sunny bright day full of glare and distractions. I'm sure those vehicle drivers would never be distracted given the conditions that existed on Friday afternoon would they?
Posted by Reality Check on May 30, 2009 at 7:53 PM · Report this
@76 - CM can't ride on the tennis courts, silly. Dodge ball's played there Friday nights. And bike polo's on the basketball courts.
Posted by God damn all the fun-seekers on May 30, 2009 at 8:23 PM · Report this

funny but the difference between those and roads is that all your examples were built for specific purposes. roads are different: they've been around for a much longer time and, until the car came along, were used by pedestrians, carriages, horses, bicycles, an as a place to socialize, promenade and play. cars took them over and i commend CM for challenging this notion. (obviously the viaduct is an exception in that it was built solely for vehicular traffic, but i'm talking about the downtown streets).
Posted by keith on May 30, 2009 at 8:45 PM · Report this
Damien 86
Holy shit! Look at the angry little Sloggers. Geez guys, you're SUCH assholes for riding your bikes on the freeway. I mean really, it's SUCH an asshole thing to do.
Posted by Damien on May 30, 2009 at 8:47 PM · Report this
Catalina Vel-DuRay 87
Eighty-four comments in little over four hours on a beautiful Saturday afternoon? Even I, the most pale of people and certainly not an athletic soul, got out and enjoyed the sunshine today. I think maybe some of you should have followed my lead - it would probably done wonders for your grumpiness to get a bit of fresh air.

People rode their bikes on the viaduct. The world didn't end, and life goes on. Calm yourselves, darlings.
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay on May 30, 2009 at 8:51 PM · Report this
josh 88
sounds beautiful and empowering, if not a bit illegal and politically ineffective.
Posted by josh on May 30, 2009 at 8:52 PM · Report this
HelpMeJebus 89
I guess I can kind of see why people would be so bent out of shape. Once a month, they might be inconvenienced by encountering a 20 minute delay. Oh the humanity!
Posted by HelpMeJebus on May 30, 2009 at 8:56 PM · Report this
It's not about the general inconvenience, it's about CM self-entitlement and willingness to fuck things up for everyone else just because. It's stupid, and only builds animosity toward bike riders, which, I thought, was not the goal of CM.
Posted by Unashamed Dork on May 30, 2009 at 9:01 PM · Report this
elenchos 91
Figures Frizzelle goes out and rides with these backasswards fucks.

Mr. Poe is right, as usual. It would be a big laugh if some of them got killed doing this stupid crap. Doesn't bike activist Allah give them 32 (or 36?) virgins in bike activist heaven if they are martyred for the cause?

And, yes, if you retards want to have a flamewar over how many spokes a bike should have, please do.
Posted by elenchos on May 30, 2009 at 9:03 PM · Report this
i'm bummed i missed out. awesome pictures.

most bicyclists are very friendly. at least to other bicyclists. i wish cars were as nice to me as bicyclists are.

cute girls on bikes will say hello to me. cute girls in cars never say hello. where's the love?
Posted by datajunkie on May 30, 2009 at 9:07 PM · Report this
Critical Mass is a major pain in the ass and not in the good way. They fuck up everything bikers strive for and as a biker I hate CM with the passion of Christ. Fuck off and die you only make things worse.
Posted by Fuck the Critical Masses on May 30, 2009 at 9:24 PM · Report this
N.B.: I walk to work and cycle frequently. I own a car and seldom use it.

What have these guys done? Going on an illegal joyride on a highway is just stupid. It would be tragic if someone had to be hurt to keep this from happening again.

CM is one thing in city streets (though even then it's stupid). But on a highway? You block tons of traffic on a high-bandwidth road with infrequent ramps. People a mile back have no option but to putter along at 5 mph (because that's the top speed of most of these poseur hippies) until the next off-ramp, which will certainly be swamped.

Net result? Miles of cars sitting there burning up fuel and spewing out emissions, cars which—unhindered—would have gotten where they were going more efficiently (both temporarily and ecologically) without these morons.

The comment about inadvertently blocking a legislator is spot-on. You never know what unintended consequences such rash actions will have.

Can someone tell me what this was supposed to accomplish?
Posted by Jason Petersen on May 30, 2009 at 9:31 PM · Report this
Reality Check 95

Catalina that just shows you how pissed off and angry people are about the Critical Assholes and their monthly assholery.

It is time they move on. How long have they been trying to push their agenda now? How many more months of assholery does the majority of the population have to put up with this childish behavior? Is there an endgame to their anarchy?

I for one think it is time for wiser heads to prevail and call for an end to this ineffective and increasingly backfiring tactic. Cascade bicycle club and other similar orgs need to take back their cause from this group of misfits.

The damage to the average bicyclist's image has already been done and will take years to repair with the majority of the public.

The problem is the bicycling community who are not organized and are not are part of this are the ones who are going to suffer the repercussions of voter rejection until this is solved and Critical Assholes' events are put to an end.

Plus the egos of those organizing the Critical Asshole events won't allow their little bit of infamy each month to die peacefully. Rather they would like to continue raising hell irrespective whether or not it is the best path to achieve their goals.
Posted by Reality Check on May 30, 2009 at 9:37 PM · Report this
HelpMeJebus 96
The haters really need to STFU.

Critical Mass has a total duration of about 3-4 hours one day per month. It slows car traffic down for maybe 20 minutes in any given area.

I love the irony of people who drive cars complaining about cyclists' sense of entitlement. It really doesn't get any better than that.
Posted by HelpMeJebus on May 30, 2009 at 9:39 PM · Report this
Bruce Garrett 97
Wow... I was wondering why people in Seattle seem to hate bicyclists more then folks in other cities. Now I know.

You folks in Critical Mass...why do you even bother wearing a helmet? I get a serious head injury and it's not like it's going to really impact the quality of your life or anything...

Posted by Bruce Garrett on May 30, 2009 at 9:40 PM · Report this
HelpMeJebus 98
@95, you're not making any sense. Critical Mass needs to stop so that you won't judge all bicyclists by its participants?

Does that mean I'm free to judge all car owners by that fuckstick who pushed the jumper off the bridge?
Posted by HelpMeJebus on May 30, 2009 at 9:41 PM · Report this
@37 you do not demand respect you earn it. Bikers are not entitled even though they think they are.
Posted by entitled on May 30, 2009 at 9:46 PM · Report this
I think most people on here have already said what I want to say. I really, really love The Stranger, Seattle and the liberal ideals I see here. But when I see bullshit like this, like illegally impeding freeway traffic (the minimum speed on that road is much, much higher than you can go, and cars can be pulled over in Washington for going too slow on a freeway), pisses me off. I want to fucking punch hipsters in the face when I see this. And I kind of wish the car hadn't screeeeeched to a halt but actually slammed into the first 100 of you.

It's disrespectful. It's stupid. And it's fucking stuck up and spoiled. You kids on Capitol Hill are spoiled bitches and it pisses this kid from a conservative state off. We fight every day for what you already have. Stop being so fucking stupid.
Posted by Sam on May 30, 2009 at 9:55 PM · Report this
HelpMeJebus 101
@100 is a great illustration of the entitlement mentality. He actually wants to see 100 people die for having the temerity to delay car traffic for a few minutes. What a fucking tool.
Posted by HelpMeJebus on May 30, 2009 at 9:59 PM · Report this

Seeing all the people biking to work on Dexter does more than CM could ever hope to do. You see, most people work 8-5 jobs, and are inspired only by seeing others who work similar jobs using a bicycle to get there. You and your shot-pulling, document-messengering, bar-tending friends mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO 99% OF SEATTLE. Get a real life, and maybe you'll see why Critical Mass is for self-absorbed suckers.
Posted by Yo. on May 30, 2009 at 10:06 PM · Report this
Worth noting for out of town readers is that what they road on is not a freeway, it's a highway. Large parts of it are regulated at 40-45 miles per hour, not the 60 of a freeway.

It's even legal to ride your bike on it North of downtown (so not on the viaduct or through the tunnel).
Posted by doceb on May 30, 2009 at 10:16 PM · Report this
elenchos 104
It would be funny to see them out there all teary-eyed trying to put 100 white-painted "ghost bikes" up on the light poles along the freeway, traffic whizzing by as the hoist them up, attaching those sweet little notes and bunches of stolen flowers.

But you know, when you start with the absurd idea of bicycles on the freeway that logically leads to one absurdity after another one.

Next time they should ride naked on the freeway. To make a POINT. You know?
Posted by elenchos on May 30, 2009 at 10:16 PM · Report this

So, you know, pretty much nowhere that the post discussed. Thanks for your insight.
Posted by Yo. on May 30, 2009 at 10:21 PM · Report this
Reality Check 106
@98 HelpMeJebus you must be a Critical Asshole right? Of course I'm not making any sense to you. You don't seem to comprehend much of the logic that has been discussed here tonite, and instead twist the conversation down your path of logic. It would seem that you are now invoking @68's argument?

This isn't about me. Critical Assholes (it is no longer being called Critical Mass by the general public) need to stop because they are doing a disservice to the bicycling public. The public (the majority of which do not bike in traffic) ARE judging ALL bicyclists based upon interactions they have with them. When the non-bicycling public sees behavior that the Critical Assholes display during their rides "corking" intersections and traffic as they see fit, blatantly disobeying traffic law and generally making fools of themselves, it DOES REFLECT on ALL cyclists.

You can twist this all you want, but it is what it is.

With your logic that "it only last 3-4 hours one day per month blah blah blah", I have to ask... Can a group of automobile drivers decide to simply ignore the traffic laws for a few designated hours each month, and maybe drive in any lane, against normal traffic, jump out of their vehicles, and let their buddies pass thru red lights in an intersection, etc etc? Heck maybe you wouldn't mind if we organized a group of car drivers to intentionally disrupt next month's Critical Asshole event and give you a taste of your own medicine?

Fair is fair right?

You think automobile drivers have entitlement issues because they are legally driving on roads designed for automobiles? That is truly rich.

I think it is fucking ironic that bicyclists make the claim that roads were first designed for buggy's, foot travelers etc.. sure that may have been true for old trails in days long past, but we are talking about modern roads within cities, both local streets and high volume fast highways. To insinuate that you have a right to take up any lane at any time is pure folly, and a classic liberal spin.

I think it is time for bicyclists to receive a bit of a smackdown with tougher extremely restrictive laws as to exactly where and when they can drive. Bicyclists have decided to push the envelope and proverbial pendulum far past acceptable limits, and the resulting bad legislation that has resulted, has created a confusing myriad of various laws for car drivers and bicyclists to have to deal with.

I think HelpMeJebus that maybe it is high time to restrict all bicyclists to the curb's edge on streets, and no longer allow them to play in large vehicle traffic. Bicyclists should need to yield to all other forms of traffic including cars and people, as they are far more agile than either, and they have the ability to be far more aware of larger noisier, faster, and less agile cars to avoid them at all times.

Furthermore, I think that it is far time we hold bicyclists who want to travel on major arterial streets to have to abide by a strict set of laws, complete with a bicycle driver's license that has the ability to be revoked for breaking traffic laws. Citizens need teeth in these laws to ensure that asshole law breaking bicyclists start obeying EVERY traffic law.

And most importantly, a law needs to be created that anyone "corking" or "using corking to proceed" thru an intersection illegally, and/or any group of 5 or more bicyclists that intentionally impedes vehicular traffic without pulling off to the side, is punished by a $1,000 fine and 30 days in county jail, no passing Go, no Get Out of Jail Free card allowed.

Until we restore law and order to our public streets and make everyone abide by traffic laws, confusion will reign.

Enough is enough.
Posted by Reality Check on May 30, 2009 at 10:24 PM · Report this
Reality Check 107
@101 I think the concensus here is that YOU are the tool buddy...

Nice try though...

Great spin ability you have...
Posted by Reality Check on May 30, 2009 at 10:26 PM · Report this
Hey, if we tear down the viaduct and do surface-transit, what will the CMers do?!

(CM has always confused me--and I don't own a car, and bike pretty much everywhere. I don't really get what 'advocacy' or 'awareness-raising' goes on. Call a spade a spade: it looks like a really fun ride, and being a dick in traffic can be awesome fun. But let's not cloak it in some faux-progressive verbage.)
Posted by Cow on May 30, 2009 at 10:28 PM · Report this

The Aurora bridge is certainly north of downtown. If I have their route figured out (going from SODO up to the viaduct, then on 99 to the first exit on the Ballard side of the bridge), they were riding for 2 miles illegally, and 2 miles legally.

So shove it.
Posted by doceb on May 30, 2009 at 10:29 PM · Report this

I should shove it because the last portion of the ride was legal? So if I break into your house and steal your iWhatever, so long as I walk on the sidewalk and obey the law all the way back to my house it's OK? Let me live in your fascinating world!
Posted by Yo. on May 30, 2009 at 10:34 PM · Report this
Where did I say that the ride was okay? If they were going to ride on 99, they should have gotten on after Mercer Street.

My original post was trying to give some out-of-town readers some context as to the road this was on.

So yeah, shove it.
Posted by doceb on May 30, 2009 at 10:38 PM · Report this

As far as you go in that last post, agreed. No need to tell me to shove it to make your point, but your first post was toned to make it sound like the whole ride wasn't a big deal.
Posted by Yo. on May 30, 2009 at 10:39 PM · Report this

Well, I don't think it's that big of a deal, at least compared to riding on an actual freeway. I mean, imagine if they went on I-5 through downtown, and up to Greenlake.
Posted by doceb on May 30, 2009 at 10:43 PM · Report this

Although I would pay to see that, you're bringing up the false slippery slope argument. They did what they did, and it was illegal and idiotic.
Posted by Yo. on May 30, 2009 at 10:48 PM · Report this
@114 - the only reason I bring it up is that the article keeps talking about highway 99 as "the freeway," and it might give people unfamiliar with it an incorrect mental image.

But yeah, they really ought to just ride where bicycles are allowed. I mean, blocking traffic down Aloha or whatever while some cyclists go by is one thing - riding in a place where you are specifically forbidden (and for good reason) is another.
Posted by doceb on May 30, 2009 at 10:55 PM · Report this
Thanks for making me hate bicyclists. Nice work there. I am sure that since you are a whopping 3-5% of the population alienating the rest of us won't hurt efforts to improve bike infrastructure.

At this point I say ban them from the streets.
Posted by giffy on May 30, 2009 at 10:59 PM · Report this

Scrolled back to CFrizzelle's post way back up there, and I see your "freeway" point. But it's still a limited access highway, and as we have agreed, not a place for bicycles. Fair enough.
Posted by Yo. on May 30, 2009 at 10:59 PM · Report this
Catalina Vel-DuRay 118
I really don't get all the anger. I've no dog in this fight - I haven't ridden a bike since the Reagan administration, and few things irritate me more as a motorist than dumb bikers. But why do people get so worked up by this? Why is it that any sort of protest these days gets people so worked up? What's "disrespectful" about a bunch of cyclists taking a ride on a state highway, and even if it is "disrespectful", who cares? Nobody guarantees you respect in life. (The who "respect" thing seems to be a bigger deal with the younger generation. I blame Marlo Thomas)

I've been reading about the George Jackson Brigade - they were a gang of radicals who blew stuff up in the Seattle area back in the 70's - and I can't imagine how today's high-strung Seattleite would cope with something like that if we totally lose our pearls over a bunch of bike riders who get together once a month to annoy people.
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay on May 30, 2009 at 11:08 PM · Report this
just don't know man. i look at a bike, i dont really get this worked up, or at a car. mostly i look at the internet and it gets me worked up

Posted by Montdidier on May 30, 2009 at 11:09 PM · Report this
I forwarded this story to the SPD and asked that they crackdown on this kind of bullshit. I would suggest others do the same. The more complaints they get the more likely they will take action.
Posted by giffy on May 30, 2009 at 11:12 PM · Report this

I suppose. I just keep hoping that this group will come to their own senses without requiring SPD to waste time on their lame hipster asses. Maybe they could all volunteer an hour or two at a homeless shelter, food bank, or boys & girls club instead of feeling cool because they rode their bike on the highway.
Posted by Yo. on May 30, 2009 at 11:16 PM · Report this
@118 maybe because its already hard enough right now to get to work, take care of errands, and have time for your family without some useless hipsters causing trouble so they can feel self-important.

Maybe drivers should just start ridding in bike lanes, or board busses and take up as many seats as possible just ridding from one end of the route to the other.

We are all trying to get where we are going and to take care of our buisness. Doing so requires we all respect each other and try to not make each others lives more difficult.
Posted by giffy on May 30, 2009 at 11:17 PM · Report this
Fred Phelps approves of your monthly bike ride.

Posted by CM = biblical literalist on May 30, 2009 at 11:22 PM · Report this
brian 124
This looks like fun, maybe when the viaduct is closed to traffic for it's semi-annual inspections WSDOT could let bicyclists and pedestrians use the top deck.
Posted by brian on May 30, 2009 at 11:52 PM · Report this

Anticipating the unexpected is one of the most basic, most fundamental precepts of Defensive Driving Technique. It's precisely because you are operating a potentially deadly piece of machinery that you are expected to maintain a higher level of vigilance. "Assume the worst situation" is Rule One. "Maintain Presence" is Rule Two. Any driver of a motor vehicle who doesn't have the capacity to pay attention to their surroundings and anticipate potential hazards, whether it come from pedestrians, bicyclists, or other vehicles, probably isn't fully qualified to operate a motor vehicle in the first place.

And even if technically you're not at fault for the stupidity of others, that doesn't automatically get you off-the-hook legally, not if there's any reason for the authorities to believe you could have prevented the accident from occurring. If you seriously think, "well, they shouldn't have been there in the first place, they got what they deserved" is a successful defense strategy for mowing down a few asshole CM'ers, well, let's just say I wouldn't want you representing me under any circumstances.


Your rant doesn't even make sense. Everyone SHOULD be worried about distracted drivers, including pedestrians, cyclists, AND other drivers.

If you're inferring the CM'ers themselves were a distraction, that is, an occurrence that momentarily pulled drivers' attention away from what they were doing, I would have to say they were exactly the opposite, since their presence would actually have forced drivers to become HYPERaware. I imagine that's why they've adopted some of the techniques they use, in order to maximize their presence, which in turn makes it pretty darned impossible for drivers NOT to notice them.

I'm not saying I agree with what they did, but if they're going to pull off a stunt like riding on the viaduct, doing so in a way that makes it difficult for vehicles to pass them at a high rate of speed would seem to be a sensible tactic in order to minimize potential injury. Sure, not riding on the viaduct in the first place would be an even better tactic in that regard, but they're going to do what they're going to do.

People do stupid things all the time. Smart people anticipate the stupidity of others and act to minimize negative consequences all around. It's called "taking responsibility", and it's a really good thing to do, most especially when the other people around you aren't.
Posted by COMTE on May 30, 2009 at 11:53 PM · Report this

Your "if you seriously think" goes beyond anything I said. And I know you need it to make your point. So fuck off, and have fun in la-la land. No court would ever require a driver to anticipate drugged out wanna-be actors wandering into the street. I know, because it's my job. Nice try. And once again, your post has nothing to do with the SLOG post at hand. Rock on!
Posted by Yo. on May 31, 2009 at 12:01 AM · Report this
Knocked Dan off of most commented pretty fast. The slog mob has spoken. Down with bicycles.
Posted by datajunkie on May 31, 2009 at 12:05 AM · Report this
stinkbug 128
I love how people here who have never ridden in CM are experts on CM's "agenda". Thanks for the laugh.
Posted by stinkbug on May 31, 2009 at 12:09 AM · Report this

I've gone on multiple rides, and realize that it's designed to avoid having an "agenda." But that's a technical point, and we all know why the ride exists. And we all know what your tight pants are doing to your junk.
Posted by Yo. on May 31, 2009 at 12:11 AM · Report this
Wait until you kids run into a trucker on the freeway that's up against a deadline, gets corked behind you while you ooze up the street at 7 mph, realizes his 20 ton wheeler is far bigger than all of you combined, and just slams on the gas.

You can't file charges when you're dead.
Posted by Gomez on May 31, 2009 at 12:13 AM · Report this

That's the best idea I've ever seen on SLOG.
Posted by Yo. on May 31, 2009 at 12:20 AM · Report this
Okay guize, enough is enough. At this point, you're all just canceling out each others faggotry. Everybody needs to just calm down, and take a look at this.

You're welcome.
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 31, 2009 at 12:32 AM · Report this
Nice work, Mr Poe! I think we've found a new mascot for CM!
Posted by Gomez on May 31, 2009 at 12:33 AM · Report this
oh my fucking god, those bicyclers thought they could get away wi- wi- with USING the roads.. oh my god again...

that pretty much sums up what a lot of the shit-for-brains types in the first part of the comments had running through their little pitiful pea brains, doesn't it?
Posted by jw36 on May 31, 2009 at 12:36 AM · Report this
Who is brainwashing you, Christopher?
Posted by Houston Collins on May 31, 2009 at 12:44 AM · Report this

I know, right?! It's Shitting Dick Nipples time to shine. I'll make a poster and see if wisepunk can get some high-quality prints for me to staple all over Capitol Hill for lulz.
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 31, 2009 at 12:47 AM · Report this
@132, 136:

You're a fucking idiot wannabe artiste/literary commentarian. Go away.
Posted by Yo. on May 31, 2009 at 12:54 AM · Report this
SchmuckyTheCat 138
For the idiots who want to claim they were legal after Mercer and on the Bridge: .
Keep Right Except To Pass Claiming all lanes for your power trip was the dick move and was illegal on 100% of the freeway.
Posted by SchmuckyTheCat on May 31, 2009 at 12:57 AM · Report this
stinkbug 139
So if the riders had a permit from the government you wouldn't have minded the delay?

Are those of you who are complaining about being delayed several minutes by CM also upset at the protest march that went through downtown on Saturday afternoon?
Posted by stinkbug on May 31, 2009 at 1:02 AM · Report this

I have no idea what your job is; for all I know you could be unemployed, or in the sixth grade. See that's the caveat with posting anonymously - people can make up any identity they want, and the rest of us have no way to verify its truthfulness. So, you'll excuse me if I don't accept "because I say so" as proof of your expertise in this matter.

If the cops believe you could have prevented the collision, they WILL cite you (and I DO know, because it's happened to me under a somewhat similar circumstance), and you CAN be held criminally liable as a consequence, if it comes down to that. IF you're who you claim, you know cops regularly ticket people based on perceived ratios of culpability. If you could have swerved but didn't, they'll assign you with 50% of the blame, and you'll get a ticket or court summons same as the person who stepped out into the street in the first place (Oh, and nice try with the ad hominum, but thanks for upping my hit-count anyway.)

As to the relevancy to the post at-hand, uh, well, gee, I hadn't realized you were the designated arbiter of what are or aren't appropriate topics for extended comment threads on the SLOG. I guess in future you should really make a point of setting the ground rules for the rest of us, so we'll know what we're allowed to discuss right off the bat., okay? Can you make sure and do that for us?

And while what you say is true @130, it's important to remember that the spouses, children, and parents of all those dead cyclists CAN file charges, and presumably, with an event like CM there are going to be a whole bunch of witnesses available to present sworn testimony to the effect that said trucker deliberately ran down a bunch of cyclists, for no good reason other than he was late, and they pissed him off. Granted, the CM'ers might not constitute the most sterling eyewitness pool in a case like this, but then so many convictions have been secured with the testimony of far less reputable individuals than some uppity bicyclists.
Posted by COMTE on May 31, 2009 at 1:05 AM · Report this

Commentarian? Awesome. Also, you might want to consider going away, as nobody knows or cares who the fuck you are, "Yo." (l33t handle, bra)
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 31, 2009 at 1:05 AM · Report this

A permit would at least mean that we all assume responsibility - not agree with it, but state our collective appreciation for your right to have one - for the "protest." And CM has never, to my knowledge, bothered to acquire such a permit. I've never understood the CM aversion to get one. Are you libertarians? If so, why aren't you carrying guns on your rides and refusing to pay taxes on your Uptown Espresso paychecks?
Posted by Yo. on May 31, 2009 at 1:11 AM · Report this
Oh, you are just making friends right and left here on SLOG, aren't you Yo? Usually, it takes the newbies a couple of months before they feel like they "fit in" here, but not you - you're just Mr. Personality!

And "meh" to the shit-squirting dick nipples, Mr. Poe. I've seen worse. Check out this link, if you want to see some seriously fucked up imagery (but, seriously DON'T CLICK THIS LINK, unless you're truly ready to see some totally hard-core fucked-up shit. 'Cause that's what these evil bastards do for FUN.)
Posted by COMTE on May 31, 2009 at 1:16 AM · Report this
Oh my, an anti-libertarian extremist with something to prove...on a the comments. This "Yo." guy is fer realz intense, yo. Wrote the doctrine'n evrythin'. You best be listening. M-hm.

Face it, "Yo." (more like "yo" a douchebag, amirite?) the attention you're acquiring here isn't going to make your small dick any bigger.
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 31, 2009 at 1:16 AM · Report this

I made up a word for you, and you don't even appreciate it. As for the rest, who cares who YOU are? I never claimed the same about myself. Get a job.
Posted by Yo. on May 31, 2009 at 1:17 AM · Report this
Oh big deal, COMTE. Do you really want to get into this with me? That link is zzzzzzzz. Click this. I win.
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 31, 2009 at 1:19 AM · Report this
Oh, I'm sorry Yo. Was that "off topic"? See, this is why you really need to set the agenda early-on, and make us stick to it. We're sooo undisciplined. Truly, we need the firmness of your masterful, no-dicking-around-with-unrelated-postings hand around here.

And the latex. Can you PLEASE wear the latex?
Posted by COMTE on May 31, 2009 at 1:19 AM · Report this

I have a job. I'm sorry you're retarded and think that I should be at that job at 1AM on a Saturday. I guess janitors such as yourself have a tough time understanding what 8 to 5 monday thru fry is. It's that thing we all do that gives us more money than you.

Everybody cares about me. Everybody loves me, especially you. You're obsessed with me. When people try to display a disdain for me, they're only showing just how much moar they love me than everyone else.
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 31, 2009 at 1:22 AM · Report this
*Sunday. Whoa, I should go to bed. DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 31, 2009 at 1:23 AM · Report this
Also, I'd like to point out that I said "awesome," which would show, one would think, some appreciation for your word, "Yo."
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 31, 2009 at 1:24 AM · Report this

Noted. Grr. Argh.
Posted by Yo. on May 31, 2009 at 1:27 AM · Report this
Wow. My worlds collide. Shitting dick nipples on Slog.
Posted by Jason Petersen on May 31, 2009 at 1:28 AM · Report this
Eh, I've seen most of that shit on prior TIDNNTST Imagethreads MONTHS ago (I'd forgotten about "Mr. nose-picker", which was rather amusing), although I admit, the furries hentai always creeps me out a little.

But, I really wish you'd warned me about that LAST image. I just know I'm gonna have nightmares now...
Posted by COMTE on May 31, 2009 at 1:28 AM · Report this

I am a product of that of which we do not speak. We are brothers, you and me.

But really, where the fuck else do you think someone like me would come from? /rules1&2/
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 31, 2009 at 1:30 AM · Report this
COMTE, shut up. If you've seen half of that shit, you wouldn't of posted that lameass link with such a heavy stress of how inappropriate and shocking the content is. Do I need to throw down some CP in this bitch? Will that do it?
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 31, 2009 at 1:32 AM · Report this
Not that I have any CP. Just sayin', ya know, I know where to find it. I know evrything OTI.
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 31, 2009 at 1:33 AM · Report this
Everything on this site of yours is either completely bog or jacked from 4chan. Or worse, taken from 4chan and the lulz have been stripped. Every page is lacking some serious dog pr0n, legit incest, and I'm not seeing any genital mutilation. In other words, I'm not getting hard.
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 31, 2009 at 1:38 AM · Report this
i like whats happened here.
Posted by note to self: dont read slog comments on May 31, 2009 at 1:42 AM · Report this
Ah, but how far did you actually LOOK, Mr. Poe? Some of the really GOOD stuff doesn't start until around page 28. I particularly recommend the cyclist near the bottom of page 29 - very apropo to the subject at-hand.
Posted by COMTE on May 31, 2009 at 1:47 AM · Report this

Yeah okay.


I'm actually still looking. There's some good stuff in here. What's really fun is most of these pix haven't been tampered with, so I'm saving them in my Pokéball for future Photoshop lulz. I give you props.
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 31, 2009 at 1:51 AM · Report this
From you sir, truly a compliment!

BTW, where did our little friend Yo run off to? Wonder if mom had to come in and make him log off? Probably way past his bedtime anyway.

Speaking of which, it's been fun kids, but tomorrow is an early start for this one.

Don't get into any mischief while I'm gone...
Posted by COMTE on May 31, 2009 at 1:58 AM · Report this
Oh, I should note: the thread restarts fresh at the beginning of each month, so there's always new fun in store!
Posted by COMTE on May 31, 2009 at 1:59 AM · Report this
Definitely past his bedtime. I hope he dies.
Posted by Mr. Poe on May 31, 2009 at 2:08 AM · Report this
lizzie 164
So, anyway, back to ranting.

You shouldn't be outraged at Critical Mass using up our roads' capacity for a couple hours every month. You should be outraged at car drivers clogging up our roads on a daily basis. If you find you CAN'T get out of your car because of a lack of safe bike routes and infrastructure, that's what Critical Mass is helping to fix. They are showing YOU how difficult it is for bicyclists to use Seattle's car-centric infrastructure.

Fuck the critical mass of car drivers on the street every single day. Car drivers are still the #1 killer of young people (under 45) -- more than guns, more than drugs, more than suicide, more than any disease. Law-abiding car drivers are the ones impeding traffic and killing people and polluting the air, not Critical Mass.
Posted by lizzie on May 31, 2009 at 2:45 AM · Report this
MR. Language Person 165
I think I'm gonna blockade the freeway and demand a one dollar toll for everyone who wants to pass. It won't harm anybody too much, but it will sure empower me.
Posted by MR. Language Person on May 31, 2009 at 3:38 AM · Report this
I can't wait until one of you CM fuck ups gets hit by a car and dies. Then you will probably no longer do stupid things for at least a year or so.

Man I wish I was at the front of that pack of slowed cars on 99. The horn and middle finger would have gotten a great workout as I dialed the SPD (hands free of course).
Posted by Swearengen on May 31, 2009 at 5:02 AM · Report this
"So if the riders had a permit from the government you wouldn't have minded the delay?"
Exactly right, didn't you read the posts?
Witha permit, EVERYONE WOULD FEEL LIKE RIDING AND YOU WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE A BROAD BASED MASS of thousands of riders and a damn fun bike ride.
By mass I mean 20,000 riders. The annual Seattle bikeathon on our beautiful Viaduct. Shut it down all day. There are even organizations out there that promote 100 mile rides for cancer and all kinds of things, why not have one up Aurora then down I 5 then across 520 then back over I 90 and over thru Beacon Hill and across I 90 (tricky part there) and over to Lincoln Park and then back around Alki to downtown, the central waterfront? Could be huge. Sunday on Labor Day weekend would be good. Would be shown on national TV creating huge pro bike publicity. Would allow kiddies and families who do parts of the ride. And frankly, I don't like celebrating carbon emitting hydroplanes or the Blue Angels, but they shut down the freeways for that stuff. Make this legal bike ride part of Seafair and those who wish to make a pro environment pro earth antiwar kind of statement (most of us in Seattle frankly) would join in specifically to NOT be part of the Blue Angels and hydroplanes thing. the ride could even include 4 dips in Elliott Bay and Lake Washington or some kind of iron man triathlon thing.

How about it Cascade Bike Club?
Posted by PC on May 31, 2009 at 6:24 AM · Report this
Posted by HURRRRRRRRRK on May 31, 2009 at 6:34 AM · Report this
No, let me explain.

Most people are pro fun. Most people in Puget Sound want more transit and to some degree are okay with bikes, just not biking assholes.

CM is hurting other people's fun, and their lives, with this kind of ride. This also hurts the general cause of biking and alternatives to the automobile. that's what makes most people angriest. CM is counterproductive. Look it up if you can't get the meaning. The kind of ride CM did makes people hate bikers with a passion. CM is not fun. CM is blocking other people's fun and their lives. CM is stupid and deluded, like a religious cult. Don't ride on 99 or on freeways unless you get a permit and everyone can join in safely.

Got it?
Posted by PC on May 31, 2009 at 6:54 AM · Report this
They're so luck we didn't know they'd be in that tunnel or we'd have been behind them with a line of V8 cars blowing out their ear drums in that tunnel and they'd have been stuck there for a while getting blasted from one end to the next.

Hope they do it again, cause we'll be waiting!
Posted by Stigmartyr on May 31, 2009 at 7:16 AM · Report this
4f...sake 171
I love the sound of critical mass! Does that apply to dancing too?!
Posted by 4f...sake on May 31, 2009 at 7:30 AM · Report this
Whatever. Traveling on 99 could be a clusterfuck at any moment. It only takes one accident to jam that thing up anyway, and it happens all the time. Am I to think that none of these people in the comments have been stuck on 99 for 20 minutes before? Or stuck by a freight train? Traffic delays happen all the time, all over the city. You may have noticed. If not, make a note of it now. I wish I had known CM was going to be that awesome this month, I wouldn't have missed it.
Would all of you people threatening violence say the same things in front of a police officer? You're all pretty tough in your faceless comments. Also, whatever to the "bicycle advocacy" of Cascade. Is this the same group of people that for years has allowed the BG trail to dump out into a deathtrap of concrete trucks and railroad tracks in Ballard? They were scraping people off the road over there all day yesterday. Do we have Cascade to thank for the new patches of flaking green rubber and all the "sharrows" on the pavement? Keep using hand signals and looking in your rear view helmet mirrors, guys.
Posted by seattlebikeguy on May 31, 2009 at 7:50 AM · Report this
NEXT TIME A BUNCH OF CARS ARE IN THE BIKELANE IM GONNA RUN THEM ALL OVER AND KILL THEM ALL, THATS HOW MUCH I HATE THEM. Seriously motorists, you all sound like a bunch of whiney assholes. You probably spent more of your precious time thinking of what to write in this thread then how much you were delayed by CM. Or maybe you entered it on your iphones while on the Viaduct in mass illegally to "prove a point." Passive aggressive assholes.
Posted by weekend nachos on May 31, 2009 at 8:24 AM · Report this
Why did they take all three lanes? Couldn't they have left the passing lane open for people who wanted to, you know, pass them?
Posted by ridia on May 31, 2009 at 8:29 AM · Report this
Cars veer in and out of bikelanes ALL FUCKING DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY. Bikelanes, JUST LIKE YOUR GODDAMN FREEWAY, are meant for only one type of vehicle. You are all a bunch of selfish babies. Go fucking cry about how it took you an additional 20 minutes to get home from work on a friday and then waste your beautiful saturday complaining about it on this slog, douchebags.
Posted by weekend nachos on May 31, 2009 at 8:41 AM · Report this
Cracker Jack 176
In NYC we have the 5-Boro bike ride, which gives bikers the opportunity to take the usually off-limits routes and enjoy the views. Works for everyone.

Why couldn't CM have taken ONE lane and really shared the road with cars? Maybe y'all don't really know the meaning of the word share?
Posted by Cracker Jack on May 31, 2009 at 8:46 AM · Report this
reverend dr dj riz 177
Posted by reverend dr dj riz on May 31, 2009 at 8:53 AM · Report this
Jigae 178
If we accept that Critical Mass does absolutely nothing to improve most people's views of biking, it becomes clear that it's a massively antisocial behavior: This action said "Our fun "protest" is more important than the lives of the hundreds of people stuck behind us."

@82 also made a great point: CM can be hell for pedestrians. I got stuck in the snarl more than once in NYC and it did not make me think "Wow -- bikes are a really great transportation alternative." If you want to get people on your side you need to revise your tactics.
Posted by Jigae on May 31, 2009 at 9:02 AM · Report this
dude, topher, man, you are like soooo kewl, you rlly stuck it to the man and shit. saturday i rode my machine and all of a sudden all the motorists in seattle were all deferential to me, giving me friendly waves, and letting me go first, because they heard what you did, and now they're all giving mad props to all the cyclists. also i read that all the motorists have promised that they wont take the viaduct one exit to buy milk. you guyz srsly ruuule.
Posted by ur sooo kewl, topher on May 31, 2009 at 9:04 AM · Report this

Sharing the road is what they do every other day. CM is about taking ownership of it.

Not that I think riding on the viaduct and in the tunnel with traffic is a very good idea.
Posted by doceb on May 31, 2009 at 9:05 AM · Report this
Jigae 181
@176: And that's a beautiful thing that everyone supports and even sets up chairs to watch. I used to watch the parade of bikes over the BQE and think "I should really get one."

That's a great example of a productive action -- if you had gotten a permit to do this, I think everyone here would be celebrating you even though it would have shut down traffic for much longer.
Posted by Jigae on May 31, 2009 at 9:05 AM · Report this
Jigae 182
@180 "taking ownership of" ... what exactly?
Posted by Jigae on May 31, 2009 at 9:07 AM · Report this

Oh please, their "lives." More like their 20 minutes. Again, I don't get how ridiculously outraged people can be over this. I mean thinking "well, that's dumb and runs counter to your goals," certainly, but actual outrage is pretty silly.
Posted by doceb on May 31, 2009 at 9:08 AM · Report this
@182: The road.

Also: there is a tendency on here for people to assume one is endorsing something if you state facts about it. See also: my row with Yo through posts 107-117.
Posted by doceb on May 31, 2009 at 9:12 AM · Report this
Jigae 185
@183: I'm just saying -- they were saying THEY were more important than EVERYONE ELSE. I'm not saying it was a huge disruption, but it was a completely self-involved choice. CM decided the needs of the few outweighed the needs of the many.
Posted by Jigae on May 31, 2009 at 9:14 AM · Report this
I would also like to thank critical mass for their consistently unthinking and irresponsible behavior. I, too, ride my bike on seattle's streets and bike ways and I try hard to follow the rules, not because I like them, but because that's how we keep our city running smoothly. my understanding of 'share the road' is that means everyone shares the same space to make it work. we're all paying the taxes, we're all subject to the same rules and enforcements in order to keep us all safe. you are selfish, self-righteous, and spoiled assholes and I would like to thank you for every driver that cuts me off, yells at me, and runs me off the road, and every proposal to make this city more bike-friendly that gets struck down. please stop, you're doing more harm than good and pleasing no one but yourselves in the meantime.
Posted by we're all in this together on May 31, 2009 at 9:14 AM · Report this
@185 - how is that a new thing for critical mass, heh
Posted by doceb on May 31, 2009 at 9:18 AM · Report this
@183, try the hour-long traffic clusterfuck that caused me to be late to my hourly job. My boss screamed at me and I got docked pay for being late. I drive because there is no bus stop near my work and I can't bike the distance because I had my right knee replaced two years ago. I would gladly live closer to my job, but my wife works equally far from our house in the opposite direction. Outrage? You bet.
Posted by David Thomason on May 31, 2009 at 9:20 AM · Report this
@188 I love how their bicycle utopia generally ignores the disabled, elderly, sick, and uncoordinated.

@167 yeah I would be cool with that too. Put it on a weekend, give people plenty of notice, have it organized. There is a fun run on the viaduct every year that is not a big problem. Gets tens of thousands of people.

There is one thing about an event that is designed to minimize disruption while getting the most people possible involved. There is another things with a hundred douchebags fucking things up at the worst possible time.
Posted by giffy on May 31, 2009 at 9:24 AM · Report this
Jay Jansheski 190
First of all, this looked like a blast, and I wish (with a big caveat) that I had been there.

Second, and I say this as someone who commutes by bike from Ballard to Capitol Hill five days a week, I do wish Critical Mass would shut up.

I took a look at their web page to see if I could track down a mission statement. What are they trying to accomplish? Here it is:
on the last friday of every month in over 100 cities around the world cyclists congregate together to ride in demonstration and in celebration. critical mass has no leaders and no set agenda and people come together to ride for many different reasons. just a few of those reasons are... to assert cyclists right to the road, to promote bikes as a fun, healthy, viable alternative to cars, to build a greater sense of community, to get more folks on bikes, or simply to celebrate bike love and ride in solidarity with other like minded individuals and have some fun! overall the ride is what you make it!
Translated: We don't really have a mission or a point to make except, Yay! It's fun to ride on the freeway with our friends! Also: fuck you, motorists!

I'm all for civil disobedience, but this isn't exactly a civil rights issue. This is about divvying up public assets (between cyclists and motorists) and about encouraging people to behave better (i.e., to bike instead of drive when they can), and on that point Critical Mass not only fails spectacularly but drives people in the other direction. A bike is my primary means of transportation, and even I, had I been stuck in traffic behind this mob, would have said, "What's happening up there? Oh, it's those fucking cyclists again." Why? Because it's what people are thinking about any obstacle when they're driving in traffic, because they're cranky, because driving in traffic sucks.

Motorists might react differently if the cyclists took up only one lane of traffic, or if they did this sort of thing only once a year instead of once a month, or if (as many here have suggested) it was an organized event with some publicity and some attempt to invite people who otherwise wouldn't bike. Granted, this might take away from the fun, lawbreaking vibe of Critical Mass, but in return it might actually accomplish something in the way of bicycle advocacy.

If the goal of Seattle Critical Mass is to have fun while giving the finger to Seattle, job well done. If it's to encourage motorists to take up cycling, they need to rethink.

It does look like it was fun, though.
Posted by Jay Jansheski on May 31, 2009 at 9:25 AM · Report this

You had an hour-long clusterfuck on Aurora and you weren't used to it by now?
Posted by doceb on May 31, 2009 at 9:25 AM · Report this
Scientific fact: Participants in Critical Mass had significant problems as children. Three separate studies found that CM riders were children who lacked friends, were unable to understand the concept of sharing, performed poorly in school, and had serious behavioral problems. 72% of CM riders as adults have substance abuse issues and 64% have been unable to hold a steady job for longer than 12 months.
Posted by Marjorie Dawes on May 31, 2009 at 9:26 AM · Report this
I wish you had all been run over and killed.
Posted by FREEWAYS ARE FOR CARS on May 31, 2009 at 9:28 AM · Report this
Look at all the smug smiles on all those fucking hipsters.
Posted by I hope an earthquake destroys Seattle today on May 31, 2009 at 9:31 AM · Report this
Have you ever seen anyone get run over and killed by a car? I have.

It is REALLY VIOLENT AND GROSS and very traumatic for other people to see. Especially when there are broken necks and spilled intestines like the ones I have seen.

However, in the case of CM specifically, I will say:

"It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it is a lot funnier."

Keep it up, CM. I look forward to the lulz I will have at your expense.
Posted by hope ya get run over on May 31, 2009 at 9:36 AM · Report this
Dear commenters who keep harping on a 20 minute delay:

that's not the point.

The point is you are setting the pro bike anti automobile (or more reasonably, the anti unduly-dominant automobile) movement BACKWARDS and for YEARS. Not minutes. This is what I'm talking about: "Oh please, their "lives." More like their 20 minutes. Again, I don't get how ridiculously outraged people can be over this. I mean thinking "well, that's dumb and runs counter to your goals," certainly, but actual outrage is pretty silly." Our outrage is silly, but yours isn't. Got it. You think it's silly trying to actually make a healthier planet, trying to get more space for bikes, trying to get the auto demoted from its king-of-the-hill position? Fuck you. You're just playing for your own entertainment and you don't have a clue as to how to make social progress.
If you show me WSDOT just won't allow an organized bike ride on Aurora and I 90 let's set up a MASS-ive civil disobedience ride six months in advance -- and invite everyone -- kids too -- we'd get 10,000 riders and many of us would join you. But otherwise go get a permit. In NY the guy said they have a 5 borough ride. Why not do that here? Too much work, and CM would be too lazy to organize it and wouldn't be the star of the show?
Posted by PC on May 31, 2009 at 9:36 AM · Report this
@191, it normally takes me 30 minutes max to get from my house to my job on Aurora/Viaduct. On Friday night it took almost an hour and a half. By the time CM cleared Aurora, traffic was backed up so badly that it took forever to make it up the road. I'm just a guy trying to get to my shitty hourly job that at least pays the bills so my wife and I can live in a tiny house in a crappy neighborhood in south Seattle. It's really weird that CM riders seem to think that anyone with a car is a self-serving yuppie burning fossil fuels so they can drive to Whole Foods to buy an overpriced gallon of organic milk. I guess that's why CM exists - it's for people who can't see beyond their own interests, and who are too dimwitted to do something constructive about their cause. I have yet to see when throwing a big public tantrum has ever affected societal or policy change. CM is about as effective as anarchists burning dumpsters at WTO, or black rioters trashing their own neighborhoods in Compton or Oakland. All CM riders do is shit where they sleep, and then stand around wondering why they get no respect. It's just not very intelligent.
Posted by David Thomason on May 31, 2009 at 9:38 AM · Report this
I bet that ride smelled awful from all the poopy diapers.
Posted by CM=crying babies on parade on May 31, 2009 at 9:41 AM · Report this
OK someone pointed out they close the viaduct for a run every year.
And don't they shut down the I 90 floating bridge for the dumb war jets...why can't we ride bikes on it at that time? OK here's the deal: CM, go organize a super Seattle bike day with routes up and down I 5 and Aurora and over the lake and back and from Lincoln thru Aliki to downtown. Invite kids and parents and grandparents. Invite the mayor, challenge him, challenge the council, challenge every politician to do it. MAke it a signature event for Seattle. Station life guards and have people dip in the bay and the sound and the 2 lakes. Call up the cancer groups and sickness groups and invite them to integrate it with their century rides. Work with Cascade and Sierra and Fuse and say it's a ride for health and bikes and active transportation.

How about it CM, are you up to it?

Posted by PC on May 31, 2009 at 9:44 AM · Report this
Next CM: Ride to QFC and everyone steals a bottle of $8.99 red wine. Remember, corporate grocery stores are the motorists of the retail food industry.
Posted by Pitiful Ass on May 31, 2009 at 9:44 AM · Report this
Julie in Eugene 201
@183 - Granted the delays caused by CM would almost never be life or death... but, there were plenty of times where I was walking somewhere downtown Chicago at 6 pm on a Friday, and a 10 minute delay would have seriously fucked up my evening (e.g., catching a scheduled train, going to a movie/show). And, plenty of times when it would have been a inconvenience (moreso than just the lost time) -- restaurant reservations, meeting a friend somewhere, etc.

I'm not outraged by this, but I think the CMers and supporters have a tendency to just completely ignore how much their fun ride can affect other people. It's a dick-ish thing to do.

Oh, and to the people saying, "but car accidents fuck up the road just as much as CM, are you going to get mad at car accidents?!".... Car accidents are just that. Accidents. Nobody is saying, I am going to deliberately inconvenience everyone else who uses the roads. Which is exactly what CMers do.
Posted by Julie in Eugene on May 31, 2009 at 9:44 AM · Report this
Wow, you inferred a lot from my post. Maybe you should re-read it at face value this time.
Posted by doceb on May 31, 2009 at 9:46 AM · Report this

It was absolutely dickish, agreed. I just think it's bizarre how severely people react to it.
Posted by doceb on May 31, 2009 at 9:49 AM · Report this

Do you like walking with all your stuff in a Red Flyer Wagon?
Do you hate all the hustle and bustle of cars and bikes, and prefer the slow easy ride of a Red Flyer Tricycle?


For too long, wagon-walkers and trike riders have been segregated to the sidewalks.


Next Friday we take to the streets. Let's show Seattle that everyone should slow down to our pace. Westlake at 6 PM.

Posted by Dykes on Trykes on May 31, 2009 at 9:49 AM · Report this
Julie in Eugene 205
I think @197 made my point better than I did. For some people, CM is just an inconvenience, for others, it actually affects their lives.

Also, it's good to hear some facts about the actual delay in traffic that happened. Stuff like this has an exponential effect on traffic delays - a 20-minute "corkage" can cause an hour delay for the people who are far enough back. And, as someone else pointed out, think of all the extra carbon that was emitted from all those cars sitting in traffic that you caused...
Posted by Julie in Eugene on May 31, 2009 at 9:49 AM · Report this
Hey CM, take 2 more steps to the left and you can officially become members of the evangelical christian movement.

I would be money that many of your current followers will snap at some point later in their lives and become right wing fundies.
Posted by Just switching your fundamentalist drug on May 31, 2009 at 9:53 AM · Report this
Your words at face value make no sense -- you state it's a 20 minute delay when we now know it's an hour...which fucks with people's fun, their lives, maybe with their attempt to get home and take a bike ride.

"Again, I don't get how ridiculously outraged people can be over this. I mean thinking "well, that's dumb and runs counter to your goals," certainly, but actual outrage is pretty silly." No, it's fairly normal and sensible for people who want social change to be angry at idiots who profess to be for change but whose actions cause massive reaction. People who are anti bike constantly say the pro bike movement is anti car and you give them reason to think that way. On a bigger scale, when we had weathermen and riots in the 1960s it led to Nixon and Reagan and conservative dominance for decades. Social change is not a silly goal, it's a fundamental goal and you guys are fucking it up.
Posted by PC on May 31, 2009 at 10:05 AM · Report this

Posted by CARS ARE PERFECT & NEVER DO ANYTHING WRONG on May 31, 2009 at 10:08 AM · Report this
Hey look at all those cute trust fund hipsters! Gee they sure are "helping" their "cause"!
Posted by Trust Fund Hipsters = "The Seattle Way" on May 31, 2009 at 10:12 AM · Report this
look at all those trust-fund hipsters!
Posted by trust fund hipsters = "The Seattle Way" on May 31, 2009 at 10:14 AM · Report this
@207 - why with all the "yous?" I never claimed to be involved in CM - I even said that what they were doing was a silly way of solving the problems that they want to solve. Like I said before, CM events like this run counter to their supposed goals.

You're too angry to actually read what I am posting. In fact, had you read my post directly below the one you keep quoting, you'd realize that.
Posted by doceb on May 31, 2009 at 10:27 AM · Report this
cars are the source of most of the evil in this world. This motivated me to join CM next month. Most of these comments come from people who are so immersed in the norms of this society that they can't even see straight. Go back to school.
Posted by Car Hater on May 31, 2009 at 10:37 AM · Report this
yucca flower 213
Riding a bike on the freeway sounds dumb and dangerous....but Critical Mass only does these bike rides once a month. They advertise is advance the event is going to happen, right? Isn't it the same as a parade route or marathon blocking off traffic for a couple of hours? I don't hear this much ranting and raving when the Fremont Solstice Parade blocks traffic for awhile. I don't hear this much vitriol when the Rock 'n' Roll Seattle Marathon takes up the streets. Yeah, Critical Mass rides can be annoying but are they any more annoying and selfish than other traffic blocking/detouring events? Not really.
Posted by yucca flower on May 31, 2009 at 10:38 AM · Report this
Posted by hipster biker guts are neato on May 31, 2009 at 10:39 AM · Report this
@213: I would fully support Critical Mass getting permits just like those other events do. Unfortunately their goal (well, their misguided means to a goal anyway) is to clog up the streets and make getting around a pain in the ass for everyone else, so that's not going to happen any time soon.
Posted by doceb on May 31, 2009 at 10:46 AM · Report this
Jigae 216
@213: They also didn't announce ahead of time that they were planning to drive on the highway -- people like @197 could have planned around that but he wasn't given that choice.
Posted by Jigae on May 31, 2009 at 10:48 AM · Report this
@211 I said "you" because you invited me to take your words at face value. Then you complain, when I do and do the typical Seattleite wussy wuss move -- "you're too angry, waa waa waa, I'm not going to talk with you" -- basically running away. Because you have no answer. **You** were wrong to say it was 20 minutes when it wasn't, and **you** were wrong to say being angry is silly, and now **you** are wrong and dodging and lying when you say **you** said CM was silly, when **you** actually said people being angry at CM are silly.

You and CM are blocking and retarding progress. You're just like the right wingers who lie and dodge and then retreat to this position where all you can say is your adversary is the "angry left" -- avoiding the reasons why -- on which you have no answer.

Posted by PC on May 31, 2009 at 10:51 AM · Report this

no running away here - I've replied to all of your posts directed at me. How about this:

Yes, I was wrong to say 20 minutes when it was an hour, but we only discovered that after my post (I think, anyway. If not, I'm quite sorry for the error). You are aware of how time goes forward, but is difficult to get to go the other way, yes? I couldn't find an "edit post" option, so we're stuck with it.

I meant to say that CM "dumb," not "silly" in a recent post, to maintain consistency with my previous post where I called it dumb. My bad. I can understand how confusing that must have been for you.

For the record, I can understand being angry at CM to some degree, I just think the amount of virol thrown their way on here is a bit ridiculous.
Posted by doceb on May 31, 2009 at 11:01 AM · Report this
Also, I find it odd that you are pissed at me, someone who more or less agrees with you (I think, anyway) that:
Critical Mass's goals of getting more people aware that bikes are a viable means of transport are good, but the way they go about getting there is dumb and causes net harm to the movement.
Posted by doceb on May 31, 2009 at 11:05 AM · Report this
Glad you agree. The pissiness was because you said anger is silly and it's not.

The anger is because CM doesn't cause minimal "net harm" but causes great harm to the goal.

But in any event, CM ought to organize a huge Seattle Bikeathon the same day they shut the freeways for the warplane and hyrdroplane worshippers during Seafair so we who want more biking can use the freeways then, and actually have a critical mass including kids, grandmas and grandpas and about 10000 riders. A real critical mass not the fake tiny group CM gets.

How about CM, are you up to it?
Posted by PC on May 31, 2009 at 11:21 AM · Report this
Catalina, re: the anger. For me it's that I truly support people trying to get out of their cars and bike more or use rapid transit.

And while it works for me, not everyone can take advantage of those things for a variety of reasons, and the Critical Mass protests are a ridiculous way to try and convince people that it's a viable option, in my opinion. It seems what I see is motorists simply getting pissed of at kids on bikes who most likely are doing it because it seems cool to do and the novelty of it excites them more than the act of biking to help slow the increase in carbon emissions on this planet.

That's why I'm angry. Because I think there are more productive measures to get people out of their cars and on to bikes, most especially when it involves these assholes on the viaduct.
Posted by Sam on May 31, 2009 at 11:23 AM · Report this
not to change the subject but i thought this was relevant: it's car-free day at alki today so bikers and peds can take over the streets without worrying about cars.
Posted by keith on May 31, 2009 at 11:25 AM · Report this
Friday afternoon at The Stranger:
Dan: Okay, guys, we're getting low on hitz this week and I have a mortgage to pay and vacations to take, so we need to ramp it up.
ECB: I could steal some wine, but I'm banned from QFC, and Safeway is too far to walk.
Jonah: I thought you ride a bike?
ECB: No, only in my driveway. I ride the bus so I can have something to bitch about.
Dan: C'mon, guys, focus...
Dominic: I did that piece on the brothel.
Jonah: Hey!! I wrote half of that, and I'm the one that had to interview cops.
Dan: Not enough hitz, guys, but at least you tried.
Bethany: I could write about foie gras. I would LOVE to write about foie gras. The last round still didn't get Anthony Bourdain's attention, and I'm really trying to star-fuck him.
Dan: Foie gras is a bit played, but see what you can do with some other meat-porn angle.
Christopher: I know! Critical Mass! We haven't done a CM/bike/car flame war for a while.
Dan: Sounds good... sounds good... But try to get up front and get them on the Viaduct or something. Terry is bitching at me about the Bahamas. And make it good - I want a minimum of 250 posts on this one. And Megan, for god sakes, stop fucking writing about cupcakes - you're taking up space and getting like zero hitz with that shit. And everyone - lay of the drugs this weekend. I want you back here on Monday with some fucking ideas for a change.
Posted by fly on the wall on May 31, 2009 at 11:28 AM · Report this

I was speaking mostly to people who posted things like "I can't wait until one of you CM fuck ups gets hit by a car and dies," though that intention wasn't as clear as I thought it was.
Posted by doceb on May 31, 2009 at 11:30 AM · Report this
Jigae 225
@223: I'm a little nervous that's true. I always try to comment on noncontroversial stories and try to "vote with my page views."
Posted by Jigae on May 31, 2009 at 11:34 AM · Report this
@224 - you are wrong. Let me correct that for you - I believe I wrote something like:

"I can't wait until ALL of you CM fuck ups get hit by cars and die."

Just so you know what we really think about you.
Posted by I really mean it too! Get hit and die! on May 31, 2009 at 11:41 AM · Report this
I don't know why people keep confusing me with a CM rider.
Posted by doceb on May 31, 2009 at 11:45 AM · Report this
ok douche, oops I mean doecb, you are not a CM rider.
Posted by Shittyful Ass on May 31, 2009 at 1:01 PM · Report this
Got it thanks.

I don't hear any CMers saying "great idea, we'll organize the huge Seattle Bikeathon day on the viaduct so 10000 riders can participate."

Seems like Critical Mass, ain't into getting an actual critical mass.

Posted by PC on May 31, 2009 at 1:12 PM · Report this
Meanwhile, those comical brown people (oops, sorry PC liberals, I mean the "colored people", oops, so sorry again, I meant to write "people of color") in Seattle are up to their usual antics. Check the centraldistrictnews website or the rainiervalleypost website for details on the usual suspects and their TNB.
Posted by Let's all ride bikes and listen to Emo and ignore TNB on May 31, 2009 at 1:25 PM · Report this
lets plan a "critical Bash" where we lay down tack strips in the path of these douche bags and listen to there tires pop like rice crispies
Posted by benxer on May 31, 2009 at 1:26 PM · Report this
michael strangeways 232
#223 FTW
Posted by michael strangeways on May 31, 2009 at 2:00 PM · Report this
Cracker Jack 233
@231 -- that would be wrong. wrong I say. wrong. :|
Posted by Cracker Jack on May 31, 2009 at 2:20 PM · Report this
These people are hydrocephalic and when I get a bitchin' Camaro I'll make donuts out of 'em
Posted by CRO on May 31, 2009 at 3:24 PM · Report this
CM, if you're listening, I love what you do, but you're not being very socially, racially or economically diverse. For your next ride I suggest Rainier to Holly Park. There are tons of gangstas that drive giant Cadillacs down there who give cyclists zero respect, and it would be awesome for you to cork the road and ride real slow in front of them to teach them how to share the streets.
Posted by I double dog dare you on May 31, 2009 at 3:41 PM · Report this
Reality Check 236
After reading ALL these posts since my last one, it is definitely @ 235 FTW!

I triple dog dare you to take his idea for next month's ride.

Put your fucking moxie where your mouths are. Go ride down in those hoods and try your fucking antics!

Posted by Reality Check on May 31, 2009 at 3:57 PM · Report this
yes #230 and #235!!!!!

Go enlighten da negro buhuruthaz, all you trust-fund fixie-riding white privilege enjoying hipsters!!!!

Oops my bad, reviewing the photos I do see one black guy participating. Celebrate divershitty!
Posted by celebrate divershitty, CM whities!!! on May 31, 2009 at 4:07 PM · Report this
Thanks for making all of us cyclists look like major league assholes. I absolutely despise Critical Mass.
Posted by seattleeco on May 31, 2009 at 4:10 PM · Report this
#223 excellent but you forgot

Chuckles Mudayday (looking up woefully like an abused puppy in his messy cubicle): "uh Mad Rad? White Wimmenz? my Movie?"
Posted by Critical Muhdik on May 31, 2009 at 4:20 PM · Report this
Hey where did all the Shittical Ass defenders go?
Posted by reason infinity in the long list of Seattle suckitude on May 31, 2009 at 5:00 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 241
I miss walking across the Aurora Bridge.
Posted by Matt from Denver on May 31, 2009 at 5:03 PM · Report this
Clearly you out-debated them and they left. You won the internet.
Posted by doceb on May 31, 2009 at 5:37 PM · Report this
They're all outside riding their bikes.

What does it say that you're still sitting in your mom's basement on a day like this trying to win teh internetz?
Posted by Get a LIFE Moran on May 31, 2009 at 5:46 PM · Report this
learn how to spell moron and I just might...
Posted by I'm up in yer mom's "basement" on May 31, 2009 at 6:01 PM · Report this
wilbur@work 245
critical mass has a critical lack of intelligence. i tried to cross the street downtown ON FOOT during your 'ride' and none of you motherfuckers even bothered to slow down. a few of you issued threats.

Why do you hate on pedestrians?

Die in a double-tanker gas fire, fucktards.
Posted by wilbur@work on May 31, 2009 at 9:17 PM · Report this
Violet_DaGrinder 246
Y'all need a pot brownie and a hug, fer reals.
Posted by Violet_DaGrinder on May 31, 2009 at 9:40 PM · Report this
kim in portland 247
Thank you for the laugh, # 223.
Posted by kim in portland on May 31, 2009 at 9:50 PM · Report this
I don't usually condone this, but, #223 for the win.
Posted by seattlebikeguy on May 31, 2009 at 10:02 PM · Report this
Donolectic 249
It's sad but as much as I hate critical mass and their stupid stunts, I hate Reality Check more. It's such a douchenozzle.
Posted by Donolectic on May 31, 2009 at 10:04 PM · Report this
Critical Mass is for smug fucks. I don't own a car, I bike everywhere, and I fucking hate you people.

What a bunch of assholes.
Posted by jerkwad on May 31, 2009 at 10:16 PM · Report this
Reality Check 251
Go Fuck Yourself Donolectic

You need a good dose of Reality....
Posted by Reality Check on May 31, 2009 at 11:22 PM · Report this
Gurldoggie 252
You people are such a bunch of BORES. I was on that ride, and it was super fun. It was a gorgeous day, with a few hundred people all laughing and enjoying themselves in the sun for a few hours. ...Then followed by two days of WHINING from old farts like "Reality Check." Given the choice, I will always party with the former and avoid the latter. Ultimately, THAT'S what Critical Mass is all about. Never mind the vague political agenda, it's about having fun on the road and getting under the skin of humorless freaks like Reality and PC. See you next month suckers!

Posted by Gurldoggie on June 1, 2009 at 8:49 AM · Report this
Hope you get run over and your guts spill before you die, Gurldoggie
Posted by evil troll on June 1, 2009 at 9:12 AM · Report this
Thanks for the evidence. Any arrests yet?
Posted by TwentySides on June 1, 2009 at 9:26 AM · Report this
Greg 255
Die in a fire, massholes.
Posted by Greg on June 1, 2009 at 9:57 AM · Report this
Gurldoggie 256

...Could happen. Although statistically speaking, my cyclist buddies and I are much more likely to maintain healthy weight and blood pressure well into our seventies. On the other hand, you and your car driving brethren are probably already gaining some extra pounds around the middle and showing signs of hypertension. And if all that fat in your arteries doesn't kill you, a head-on collision with a drunk SUV driver just might.

According to the Federal Highway Administration, car collisions kill an average of 46,000 people each year in the U.S. and car emissions kill another 30,000. Around 700 cyclists are killed, or just under 2 percent of all traffic fatalities

Remember me in your will tough guy!
Posted by Gurldoggie on June 1, 2009 at 10:32 AM · Report this
Good Grief 257
I don't drive very much so I have never been caught in one of these, but even the posts (of course, it's Frizelle, so go figure) that are supposed to make them seem really "great" make them sound mostly like self-congratulatory circle jerks.

@252: Fuck you -- Take your trust fund and run home to daddy before someone runs you over.
Posted by Good Grief on June 1, 2009 at 10:37 AM · Report this
@256: that's not a fair comparison. If you are a bike commuter, you have to look at how many fatalities occur per mile in both a car and on a bike, since you are going the same distance either way. The fatality stats are about twice as high on a bicycle per mile. That shouldn't keep people from bike commuting (I ride from Seattle to Kirkland for work all the time), but don't try to claim it's a safer mode of travel - as it stands today, it's not.

If the CM crowd would focus efforts on actually getting people to switch from cars to bikes instead of selfishly pissing people off for fun (I don't have much of a problem with CM when it's just tooling around downtown or whatever, but this was dumb [though it also looked fun]), the roads would get safer for everyone. As it is, a bunch of people are getting more pissed at cyclists.
Posted by doceb on June 1, 2009 at 10:58 AM · Report this
from 252: "getting under the skin of humorless freaks"

this attitude perfectly encapsulates everything I hate about Shittical Ass
Posted by go masturbate to your Che poster on June 1, 2009 at 11:09 AM · Report this
pro-critical mass. pro urban bicyclin'.

always smile when i see a car driver post a angry thread... cause i regularly have a smile ear-to-ear riding my bike. feel sorry for 'em, i do.
Posted by on June 1, 2009 at 11:15 AM · Report this
"always smile when i see a car driver post a angry thread" from 260.

Again, this attitude perfectly encapsulates everything I hate about Shittical Ass.

Posted by go masturbate to your Che poster on June 1, 2009 at 11:27 AM · Report this
Julie in Eugene 262
What ran through my head after reading @252: Critical Mass is the new "freaking out the squares".

Interpret that however you like.
Posted by Julie in Eugene on June 1, 2009 at 11:41 AM · Report this
"Critical Mass is the new "freaking out the squares".

Actually, it would be far more accurate to state that "Critical Mass is the new "pissing off everyone who is not in Critical Mass."
Posted by fappin to Che on June 1, 2009 at 11:56 AM · Report this
ha. now i'm smiling looking at my computer. thanks, 261 ! made my day.
Posted by on June 1, 2009 at 1:14 PM · Report this
265 - I hope you get run over and your guts squirt out your asshole
Posted by that would make my day on June 1, 2009 at 1:42 PM · Report this
Posted by on June 1, 2009 at 2:06 PM · Report this
schmacky 267
I've chuckled at and enjoyed this entire thread, even the deranged violent bits. But Gurldoggie @252, you take the cake (FTW! or whatever). I give you credit for being least you acknowledge the true goal of these rides: inconveniencing, even endangering, other people for no reason except to provide you with a good time. You rightly point out that the political agenda, whatever it may be, is a distant second to the cause of your own individual enjoyment. Congratulations! That air-headed detachment from reality perfectly encapsulates why almost the entire world hates you and your spiritual ilk (a diverse group that includes hippies and Paris Hilton, as well as militant bicyclists).

Your fantasy land of childlike reverie--"oh, we're just free spirits having fun and healing Mother Earth, and you squares who need to pick kids up at daycare, or get to the hospital, or whatever it is you do when you have a 'job,' need to chill out, man! La la la look at the pretty view!"--justifiably makes most of us want to puke.

But who cares, right? You're having a blast! Woohoo! I salute you and your grotesquely immature friends. Your blasé contempt for actual adults with actual responsibilities is a shining example for us all!
Posted by schmacky on June 1, 2009 at 3:16 PM · Report this
Cochise. 268
devilsmoke @30.....please read @267.

and devilsmoke @32, bigot please. provide links to the studies that support your statistics.
Posted by Cochise. on June 1, 2009 at 3:39 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 269
As a taxpayer, I'm glad that other taxpaying cyclists reminded people they pay for the roads too.
Posted by Will in Seattle on June 1, 2009 at 4:29 PM · Report this

I believe you've been pwned.

You FAIL the Internets...
Posted by COMTE on June 1, 2009 at 4:50 PM · Report this
The BTB 271
Memo to the haters: your squeamish denunciations have turned me on to CM's work. You are worse than the state Dems. Besides, being vehicle-less on the viaduct is ALWAYS a good thing.
Posted by The BTB on June 1, 2009 at 4:53 PM · Report this
Shorter CM: "All Your Road Are Belong To Us"

Shorter Everyone Else: "Hey you punks, get off my road!"
Posted by In A Nutshell on June 1, 2009 at 5:00 PM · Report this
Posted by first post! on June 1, 2009 at 5:47 PM · Report this
i just ate an entire tub of hummus
Posted by derrickito on June 1, 2009 at 7:07 PM · Report this
Scalpel 275
Douchebags On Parade!
Posted by Scalpel on June 1, 2009 at 7:35 PM · Report this
fourfingersdown 276
Here we go again.
Posted by fourfingersdown on June 1, 2009 at 8:11 PM · Report this
SlogChan 277
i love this site, very informative a++!
Posted by SlogChan on June 1, 2009 at 8:18 PM · Report this
fourfingersdown 278
Also, what does riding a bike have to do with being a "hipster" or "trust fund" kid? Defaulting to the "hipster" insult is pretty fucking lame.
Posted by fourfingersdown on June 1, 2009 at 8:19 PM · Report this
SlogChan 279
@278 do you wear queer-bait jeans? does your buttcrack show when you ride your fixie? please post pics.
Posted by SlogChan on June 1, 2009 at 8:38 PM · Report this
I saw 278 riding his fixie to Linda's this evening. He was wearing queer-bait capri jeans and his buttcrack was showing. His tiny weenis barely made a bulge in his pants. It was vv sad.
Posted by look at that stupid fucking hipster on June 1, 2009 at 8:47 PM · Report this
fourfingersdown 281
My fixie? My fixie has 27 gears, front AND rear brakes. I don't think I really qualify for hipster-dom.
Posted by fourfingersdown on June 1, 2009 at 9:13 PM · Report this
GOd it JUST SUCKS that someone had to SIT in TRAFFIC on 99! It's like every morning, there they are, just sitting in traffic. THE HUMANITY. WE SHOULD BAN BIKES.
Posted by leighzbohns on June 1, 2009 at 9:16 PM · Report this
@281, sorry, I confused you with someone else. I saw two cyclists with really tiny weenises this evening. I guess you were the other one.
Posted by ur bike had the girl seat, right? on June 1, 2009 at 9:36 PM · Report this
fourfingersdown 284
@283 PDC!
Posted by fourfingersdown on June 1, 2009 at 9:41 PM · Report this
i went on a cm ride once. all the guys had small weenises. i know because they showed them to me after the ride. they wanted to do a whole bike/bukkake thing at golden gardens. i agreed, but when they started going at it, it looked like a bunch of sewing machine needles - skinny and fast, and i just started laughing. the first dewd came in like 40 seconds but missed my face and shot on another cm-er, and they all like freaked and started fighting each other on the beach. tru story.
Posted by bike slut slag whore cunt bitch fuckfest on June 1, 2009 at 10:40 PM · Report this
Massengil should use CM riders as examples of that not-so-fresh feeling. And then instead of a mother and daughter walking on the beach, a giant douche comes out of the sky and washes all of them away.
Posted by Blasphemous Ass on June 1, 2009 at 10:44 PM · Report this
When Chicago CM tries to do this, the cops following the mass ride up to the front and cuff the first guy to drive onto lake shore drive. Everyone turns around or they arrest the rider.
Posted by Daniel on June 1, 2009 at 11:27 PM · Report this
Michael of the Green 288
Damn, I don't have enough time to read more than the first page of comments, but, holy shit, you guys have no clue about the point of CM, nor the fun of it, nor any sense of humor, nor the self-awareness to -- if you're caught in traffic for a few minutes behind some bikers on the last Friday night of the month, AFTER WORK -- to consider that you should maybe take your vitriol as a sign that your life's priorities are badly skewed. It's unlikely that you like rock-n-roll (the real spirit of it, I mean), and would be well advised to find a career that keeps you safely in the well-controlled bubble of your homes, and stop popping your blood vessels all over the rest of us.

Honestly, there are things in this world more worthy of your wrath. I'm not a biker, but I'm inclined to bike now on Final Fridays, if only to piss you assholes off. Maybe after enough times, you'll get it. You'll see that it's not a selfish thing on the part of the bikers, but a gift to your sorry asses.
Posted by Michael of the Green on June 2, 2009 at 12:20 AM · Report this
SlogChan 289
Last summer I was riding my bike in the Philadelphia Critical Mass, we were having a bunch of fun and it was really cool - lots of different people out on bikes as well just having a good time. Traffic was pretty light until we got across the river on Parkside. This was my old neighborhood where I grew up and it's gotten a little rough. I was corking when suddenly these five dudes jumped out of their SUV and started beating the shit out of me. I don't know why they were so pissed but they were throwing me around and hitting me, it got pretty bad - I was just glad they didn't have pull out guns. Anyhow, I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo, holmes to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo holmes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.
Posted by SlogChan on June 2, 2009 at 12:24 AM · Report this
Cochise. 290
@288 "It's unlikely that you like rock-n-roll (the real spirit of it, I mean)"

That's all you needed to say. Thx.
Posted by Cochise. on June 2, 2009 at 7:39 AM · Report this
All this really makes me want to eat a ham sandwich. Great big one with mustard and pickles.
Posted by Polvo on June 2, 2009 at 9:59 AM · Report this
Stupid White Man 292
My weeks aren't complete until I hear some Darwin Award case on a fixie has been nailed!

Who's stepping up to be the next Bryce Lewis guys?

Come on, slip into those tight capri jeans, get that studded belt, hope on your fixie and zoom down Fremont hill! I love those silly shrines they build for you.
Posted by Stupid White Man on June 2, 2009 at 10:24 AM · Report this
SlogChan 293
Posted by SlogChan on June 2, 2009 at 10:40 AM · Report this
seattlejenny 294
equally baseless assumptions are going back and forth. those about the bikes seem to think that traffic sitters were all instantly annoyed after 5 minutes. the idea of them being stuck for only 10 minutes is an arbitrary fantasy. the only actual example from that day reports being an hour late for work. going to work, hear that @288?(you talk of self-awareness?). just cause you already started your weekend... i am often also obligated to be somewhere, even at night, and would probably smile happily at the bikers for a good 20 minutes. but i'd probably still be sitting there after that. and if i had been inside all day and was finally getting to go play outside it could generate some real anger.
that is the line right there- your fun interfering with mine. nobody else intentionally inflicts their fun on other people. at least not without some warning that the area should be avoided.
i go out of my way every day to make the road safer for cyclists- while in my car. just yesterday i held a turn that i could have safely made in front of a couple bikes and let them pass first- so that the guy behind me wouldn't try to turn in front of them too. something i also do for pedestrians. i happily go slow behind a bike on a blind turn. i like to see people riding, especially if they can weave past the standing traffic. by the way it is legal to ride on sidewalks and in crosswalks. get in the way of a pedestrian though and i'll be the first to glare at you.
i ride my bike almost every day and commute to school. i often feel the misplaced rage from drivers. i get the finger and wonder for blocks about what i might have done. yes, i read the reports from others here that this is fictional. probably has to do with your looks. try being young and tattooed. it's difficult enough getting where i want to go without the added danger.
newsflash- some people are selfish jerks. when a biker endangers themselves with illegal behavior it does affect the cars that almost kill them. sorry, most of us don't want to watch you die with the kids in the back seat. when a driver abuses their power the danger is immediately obvious.
the cm community, with their actions, lumps all the drivers with the selfish jerks. leading the drivers to lump all the bikers with the selfish jerks. vicious circle anyone?
both sides- don't be so quick to lump people together.
Posted by seattlejenny on June 2, 2009 at 10:40 AM · Report this
Stupid White Man 295
So how is someone with 2 young kids at separate schools (thanks for political correctness at the SPS), a spouse who works downtown, while I have contract work all over the county and state; how are hard working people like us who put in 50-60 hr weeks at challenging and interesting jobs, how are we supposed to do all this on tricycles...sorry, bicycles? Can you explain?

I remember when I was 24 and a barista too, it was a hoot, but it also wasn't work and also didn't contribute squat to the tax base.
Posted by Stupid White Man on June 2, 2009 at 1:11 PM · Report this
SlogChan 296
So how is someone with 2 young kids at separate schools (thanks for political correctness at the SPS), a spouse who works downtown, while I have contract work all over the county and state; how are hard working people like us who put in 50-60 hr weeks at challenging and interesting jobs, how are we supposed to do all this on tricycles...sorry, bicycles? Can you explain?

I remember when I was 24 and a barista too, it was a hoot, but it also wasn't work and also didn't contribute squat to the tax base.
Posted by SlogChan on June 2, 2009 at 1:15 PM · Report this
CM isn't just hipsters. There are plenty o' lawyers, techies, other professionals and family persons who ride CM. If you read the Stranger's coverage of last July's ride, you'll see that one of those interviewed about being run over by the driver was a lawyer.
Posted by just splayin' on June 2, 2009 at 1:21 PM · Report this
So, if the one-hour traffic backup is caused by say, an idiot driver who did something stupid, like, oh, trying to cross three lanes of traffic to get to an exit or something - do all of you who end up late for work manage to squeeze as much bile out of your gall bladders for them, as you do for CM'ers? Does their stupid, reckless behavior cause you to generalize about the behavior of all other operators of motor vehicles? Do you indulge in revenge fantasies wherein you envision yourself plowing down scores of cars in response to the inconvenience they've caused you? Do you find yourself hating them for their rampant idiocy and inability to follow the rules of the road? Do you even bother to wonder WHY you've been sitting motionless for 30 or 40 minutes at a stretch?

Just trying to figure out why bicyclists are the particular objects of your spleen-venting, when 99.99% of traffic backups AREN'T caused by someone on a bicycle.
Posted by COMTE on June 2, 2009 at 1:27 PM · Report this
seattlejenny 299
hey 298-
it's not that normal traffic jams aren't also annoying. the fact that it's so common anyway is exactly what is angering about people causing it for their own pleasure. it's just rude. being rude unintentionally vs. intentionally really is different.
Posted by seattlejenny on June 2, 2009 at 1:53 PM · Report this
Stupid White Man 300
":. There are plenty o' lawyers, techies, other professionals and family persons who ride CM"

Yes, so many shades of white middle class people.
Posted by Stupid White Man on June 2, 2009 at 3:36 PM · Report this
298. As stupid as the hypothetical driver is to do that, he wasn't intentionally trying to clog up traffic to make some sort of sociopolitical statement. He was trying to get to point B and got too reckless and impatient.

The hypothetical driver accidentally causes a backup. The blockage CM causes is no accident. These are two completely differnet scenarios caused by different intentions, even though the traffic outcome is the same.
Posted by Gomez on June 2, 2009 at 4:07 PM · Report this
i'm pro-science and i vote 302
Wow. I've been on the fence about joining critical mass rides, I know for sure if I was part of one heading onto that viaduct, on 99 I would not join in. I no longer believe in disrupting traffic that severely just because riding a bike is cleaner, better than driving. For a very similar reason that I disagree with anti-abortion protesters blocking entrances to abortion clinics.
That said, the global warming autos contribute to is um.. probably a bigger outrage than this bike ride on the viaduct. Much worse things have disrupted the traffic on that highway. Like, you know, CAR ACCIDENTS.
Posted by i'm pro-science and i vote on June 2, 2009 at 4:30 PM · Report this
@300 don't forget white-ass former barista-turned-contractors
Posted by the toilet calling the urinal white on June 2, 2009 at 4:35 PM · Report this
Stupid White Man 304
"global warming autos contribute to is um.. probably a bigger outrage than this bike ride on the viaduct."

Actually buildings are the leading cause of CO2 emissions. But I guess even a smart CM'er isn't smart enough to figure out how to protest a dwelling.
Posted by Stupid White Man on June 2, 2009 at 4:36 PM · Report this
SlogChan 305
The SLOG comments proudly present:

"SLOG Commenter Falling Down a Well"


Posted by SlogChan on June 2, 2009 at 5:04 PM · Report this
@298, to answer your questions, Yes. Yes. No. No, wait, I mean Yes. Yes. No.

Bicyclists are not the object of this particular round of spleen-venting. CM is. There is a difference.
Posted by Sandy V. Agina on June 2, 2009 at 5:48 PM · Report this
Michael of the Green 307
seattlejenny, I'm so excited for you! I wish I could time-travel back to when I was like that. You have a very beautiful moment in your near future (I'm guessing, based on how smart I think your comments are). Open up, and please share, when it happens. Yay!
Posted by Michael of the Green on June 2, 2009 at 8:52 PM · Report this
Michael of the Green, and I'm excited for you! I wish I could time-travel back to when I was a clueless twit, just like you. Your comments are SO insightful and SO interesting. Please do be sure to rush back and share with all of us the next time you have such a BRILLIANT idea to share. It is so REFRESHING and THRILLING to read a comment like yours. Please, hurry back and report to us the next EXHILARATING thing that pops into your head.
Posted by I'll be waiting with baited breath, you fount of knowledge on June 2, 2009 at 9:26 PM · Report this
Michael of the Green 309
Good argument, J. I'll consider.
Posted by Michael of the Green on June 2, 2009 at 10:14 PM · Report this
seattlejenny 310
am i the "j" in 309?
wasn't me, although i do appreciate the sentiment.
my response would be more like... was that supposed to make sense? (307)
i'm to share the moment when i'm disillusioned that everybody will suddenly stop making baseless assumptions?
i've obviously read this long list of reasons to not believe that.
and you don't even bike?
why are your panties in such a bunch?
at least i comment the same way i'd talk to my many friends that ride with cm.
just can't get behind pissing people off.
unless it's you.
Posted by seattlejenny on June 2, 2009 at 11:35 PM · Report this
Michael of the Green 311

No, you misunderstand. Sorry (it's your panties, BTW), but I am excited for you!

I agree that there is too much generalizing going around. I've only referred to the first page of comments.

Didn't mean to "piss you off". I wasn't being sarcastic; your vitriol is weird, but it is valid.
Posted by Michael of the Green on June 3, 2009 at 12:01 AM · Report this
SlogChan 312
chick with tattoos and bunched panties?

this thread is just starting to get awesome!
Posted by SlogChan on June 3, 2009 at 12:26 AM · Report this
seattlejenny 313
cool cause i like your insight. the reason i come here is to hear viewpoints, including yours.
Posted by seattlejenny on June 3, 2009 at 12:27 AM · Report this
seattlejenny 314
@312- oh, slogchan, just so you know people hear you- i enjoy your viewpoint too. and i am a smokin' hot babe with tattoos.
Posted by seattlejenny on June 3, 2009 at 12:35 AM · Report this
SlogChan 315
bamp! tune in to see if LURVE can flourish on SLOG
Posted by SlogChan on June 3, 2009 at 10:06 AM · Report this
SlogChan 316
what happened to the racist misogynist homophobe dude? he was good lulz!
Posted by SlogChan on June 3, 2009 at 3:09 PM · Report this
SlogChan 317
bump for epicness
Posted by SlogChan on June 4, 2009 at 1:36 AM · Report this
If i were 50 of us, yes, we would be assholes.
There were what, 500-600 maybe?
Believe it or not auto-motors, us bicyclists pay our fair (or more) share of taxes for road usage (esp. considering wear/tear, enviro damage.
ONE thing CM forces to the forefront is discussion, with a real minimal impact (at least here in Seattle) on day to day life...being forced to wait an extra light is NOT an earth-shattering event....
And if in that discussion, all that can be offered by motorists is "Fuck you...wish someone would plow into you (killing maiming hundreds), want you as a hood-ornament....etc....."
Wow.......not sure what else to say.....

Posted by Vfalorn on June 6, 2009 at 12:11 AM · Report this
Ahhh...this ride was wonderful! Riding the Viaduct in the open air was amazing. I've never really been able to appreciate the view in a car. To the CM'ers, let's ride again soon!
Posted by ep on June 11, 2009 at 11:06 PM · Report this
The problem I see with the Critical Mass rides is that it creates an 'us against them' feeling. I am a cyclist but I also have a car. I ride when I can but sometimes have to carry a lot of gear, so sometimes I drive.

I feel like the people that are making positive changes are those planning and supporting increased public transport and safe bike routes. Critical Mass seems to be missing the point.

Posted by Marra on June 27, 2009 at 12:43 AM · Report this
Critical mass entirely missed the point.
"Share the road" is the mantra I hear by CM.
Motorists share the road every day with cyclists - however on a CM ride cyclists do not share the road with cars. The hypocrisy is astonishing.
Posted by Cyclists against CM on August 31, 2009 at 4:31 PM · Report this
Critical mass entirely missed the point.
"Share the road" is the mantra I hear by CM.
Motorists share the road every day with cyclists - however on a CM ride cyclists do not share the road with cars. The hypocrisy is astonishing.
Posted by Cyclists against CM on August 31, 2009 at 4:33 PM · Report this
I have a better idea; lets have CM protest airline travel by riding on all of the runways at SeaTac Airport during regular ours of operation. Just imagine how much fossil fuel is consumed by those selfish bastards who choose to fly on a filthy, polluting airplane instead of taking a more earth friendly mode of transportation. I'm sick to death of some cyclists using the fig leaf of environmentalism to shield themselves from criticism stemming from their own unacceptable behaviour. Lets have them go to a Harley Davidson dealership on a nice clear week-end and try to block all those polluting HOGS; then snivel and whine when the bikers beat the crap out of them.
Posted by A Modicum of Reason on March 9, 2010 at 12:15 PM · Report this

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