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News & ArtsFriday, May 29, 2009
Sex Withdrawn
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, May 29, 2009 at 9:37 AM
An article in the June 2009 of Contraception calls for a reexamination of withdrawal as a birth control method:
Yet there is a general reluctance among health care providers and individuals alike to consider withdrawal as a viable method of contraception—even as a backup to more effective methods or as an alternative to not using contraceptives at all—which likely stems from misconceptions about its effectiveness at preventing unintended pregnancy. The article examines why this lack of enthusiasm persists despite the method’s relative effectiveness, as well as the consequences of the method’s lack of popularity.The best available estimates indicate that with “perfect use,” 4% of couples relying on withdrawal will become pregnant within a year, compared with 2% of couples relying on the male condom. More realistic estimates suggest that with “typical use,” 18% of couples relying on withdrawal will become pregnant within a year, compared with 17% of those using the male condom. In other words, with either method, more than eight in 10 avoid pregnancy.
Why not recommend withdrawal? Withdrawal provides no protection against STIs, for starters, and I'm not sure it's a good idea to promote a birth control method that encourages people to believe that they don't really need... an actual method of birth control. Withdrawal isn't birth control, it's orgasm control. But it's hard to argue with this:
[Withdrawal] can substantially reduce the risk of pregnancy for those who have difficulties using other contraceptive methods, including women who have trouble taking pills regularly and couples who prefer not to use condoms, and for those who have unplanned sex and have no other method available to them in the moment. In addition, it is free and requires no planning.
1
female orgasms greatly increase the chances of pregnancy because the muscle contractions draw the ejaculate farther up in to her body in a shorter period of time.
i wonder if they recommend women stop having orgasms as a means of birth control also?
i wonder if they recommend women stop having orgasms as a means of birth control also?
2
"In addition, it is free and requires no planning."
I think the guy is doing quite a bit of planning, considering the onus is on him to make sure he doesn't come too early.
I think the guy is doing quite a bit of planning, considering the onus is on him to make sure he doesn't come too early.
3
You're correct it doesn't protect from STI. That said, I'v used it on number of times. I can't take hormone therapy, and the box of Durex was empty or times when spontaneity got the best of us. I have to stress, that I am in a committed STI free relationship for the last 15 years, and we were prepared to accept a third kid if it failed. So, I think it is worth bringing up as an option, but it isn't the best method for those not in a committed relationship or for those who don't know for certain that they and their partner are STI free.
4
Cucumber and hand meet the same criteria provided you have a regular tea and would use the cucumber anyways.
5
I'm sort of terrified by the apparent 17% failure rate in the typical use of condoms. Are condoms so faulty? Or are people poking holes in theirs?
6
Yay withdrawal! It's accepted now! And I thought I was just being a selfish bastard for not wanting to wear a condom.
7
98% of the time I've used the withdrawal method. Never got anyone pregnant (but that might be due to one aof my testicles atrophying) and don't have any STI's that I'm obviously aware of - and I have been tested. I've never been one to spread my love around too indiscriminately (12) which helps with minimizing STI.
8
@5 im guessing that that percentage stems more from user error that faulty condoms. i know that, for me at least, when in the heat of the moment i don't stop to closely examine if the condom is on exactly right.
10
I have two lovely nephews as a result of the "pull and pray" method, and would encourage my other sisters to adopt this practice, as I would like a niece.
11
@5 If you use a condom, every time, and make sure it is on right, is not old/has been in someone's back pocket for 6 months (they don't like heat) the failure rate is 2 pregnancies out of het 100 couples *using them for a year*--which is actually quite a bit lower than a failure rate 2% of all sex acts, presuming they're all probably having sex more than once a year! It's that people don't use them all the time, or don't use them properly.
Male condoms aren't perfect, but they are the best we have for penis-in-anything sex.
Male condoms aren't perfect, but they are the best we have for penis-in-anything sex.
12
Everyone's heard that sperm can be found in pre-ejaculate, but is it true?
Given the anatomy involved (pre-ejaculate isn't produced anywhere near the testicles, nor is it released to the urethra near the testicles), I'm inclined to believe that it just comes from residual sperm left in the urethra and flushed out by a new arousal. If this is the case, having a clean penis (ie sperm-free exterior) and urinating since your last ejaculation would make pulling out a rather viable (non-viable?) method.
Given the anatomy involved (pre-ejaculate isn't produced anywhere near the testicles, nor is it released to the urethra near the testicles), I'm inclined to believe that it just comes from residual sperm left in the urethra and flushed out by a new arousal. If this is the case, having a clean penis (ie sperm-free exterior) and urinating since your last ejaculation would make pulling out a rather viable (non-viable?) method.
13
If you use a condom, the woman is on birth control, and you pull out right before you orgasm, you actually have negative babies... the vagina becomes a vortex that sucks in existing babies and their cells recombine into nothingness.
14
@8: I figured as much too, but it's still disturbing.
Once, my boyfriend put one on upside-down and it wouldn't roll down properly. He noticed, said "fuck!", and kind of rhetorically asked, "It's still OK, right? I can flip it over?"
I gave him a look, and we just threw it away and started again.
I do understand people's stories about being caught up in the heat of the moment, but really, I'd be so terrified of an unwanted pregnancy that I wouldn't be able to have a good time anyway. Maybe the sex we have isn't passionate enough?
Once, my boyfriend put one on upside-down and it wouldn't roll down properly. He noticed, said "fuck!", and kind of rhetorically asked, "It's still OK, right? I can flip it over?"
I gave him a look, and we just threw it away and started again.
I do understand people's stories about being caught up in the heat of the moment, but really, I'd be so terrified of an unwanted pregnancy that I wouldn't be able to have a good time anyway. Maybe the sex we have isn't passionate enough?
16
.."they don't really need... an actual method of birth control."
Be clear, Dan. Withdrawal is indeed a birth control method and so is abstinence.
Just because they aren't your favorite, or as effective, or as fun as other methods doesn't mean they aren't birth control.
Be clear, Dan. Withdrawal is indeed a birth control method and so is abstinence.
Just because they aren't your favorite, or as effective, or as fun as other methods doesn't mean they aren't birth control.
18
Not to get too personal, kim in portland, but, have you considered a non-hormonal IUD (Paraguard is the brand name in the US)? I wasn't even aware they existed until a couple of years ago. If you have insurance, most companies cover them fully and, since you've had kids before, getting it put in shouldn't be that big of a deal. Just a thought... :>
20
My wife and I have a second son 11 months younger than the first because of the withdrawal method. What does "perfect use" mean, anyway? I sure thought I had pulled out in time. A few weeks later we had the surprise of our lives.
22
@18 & 3: I actually got that after my first (and hopefully last) pregnancy and it's super great. I highly recommend you check it out.
Did anyone else know that in pre-wedding classes required by the Catholic Church they teach that withdrawal is 99% effective? And I thought lying was a sin.
Did anyone else know that in pre-wedding classes required by the Catholic Church they teach that withdrawal is 99% effective? And I thought lying was a sin.
24
23. The same could be said for the Parathyroid. What does it matter? it's not going to help anything by naming off obscure organs us men have no idea how to find.
25
@Julie in Eugene, anecdotally, I and every woman I know who has tried the copper-T IUD has had it removed within two years because of various weird problems. For me it was super bad menstrual cramps and my body rejected two them.
26
How can you spot a porn star at a gas station?
When they get done pumping the gas, they pull out the nozzle and spray it all over the trunk.
When they get done pumping the gas, they pull out the nozzle and spray it all over the trunk.
27
@ Julie in Eugene and Jen D,
Thanks for the information. My beloved decided on his own to get the V clip, because he didn't want to hassle with condoms or have us both worried he didn't pull out soon enough. So, it isn't an issue for us anymore. Now we get all the fun and none of the procreating. :)!
Thanks for the information. My beloved decided on his own to get the V clip, because he didn't want to hassle with condoms or have us both worried he didn't pull out soon enough. So, it isn't an issue for us anymore. Now we get all the fun and none of the procreating. :)!
29
@25 - I've had a copper one for about 2 years, and besides a few very painful days when it was first put in (and moderately worse cramping for the first few periods), haven't had any problems. If it works for your body, it's great (it was practically free for me, I never have to think about it, it lasts 10 years, etc.).
They used to only recommend them to women who'd had kids, but apparently in the past few years, they're now saying it's fine for everyone (though getting it put in is not as painful for women who've given birth).
They used to only recommend them to women who'd had kids, but apparently in the past few years, they're now saying it's fine for everyone (though getting it put in is not as painful for women who've given birth).
30
There's no sperm inherent in pre-ejaculate, according to Planned Parenthood, though it can push residual sperm out if the guy's come recently, hence "proper use" of the withdrawal method involves peeing between copulations, since urine will sweep the sperm (and is somewhat spermicidal, hence the need for pre-ejaculate in the first place).
cpt. tim @24 Since my first girlfriend, I've never had problems finding the clitoris. It's in the same (approximate) place on every girl. Are boys and girls these days less inclined to play with each others bits, to see what works and what doesn't?
cpt. tim @24 Since my first girlfriend, I've never had problems finding the clitoris. It's in the same (approximate) place on every girl. Are boys and girls these days less inclined to play with each others bits, to see what works and what doesn't?
32
We used to occasionally do the pull out thing, until one time pretty drunk on vacation, he just didn't pull out (was having too much fun). Guess what? I though it's difficult getting pregnant after 30. Apparently not so much... Ever since I have a new rule: no condom no pussy...
34
This is a good example of why public health interventions are so hard to implement. It would be great to tell people that withdrawal is better than nothing, but you have to design the message so that it's clear that condoms are better than withdrawal. And even then, a lot of people will just ignore it.
Personally, I like Dan's plan of reminding people that there are other forms of sex besides vaginal intercourse. Maybe we should design some "You can't get pregnant from a blow job" posters.
Personally, I like Dan's plan of reminding people that there are other forms of sex besides vaginal intercourse. Maybe we should design some "You can't get pregnant from a blow job" posters.
35
@1: Actually, no, female orgasm has nothing to do with increasing or decreasing chances of pregnancy, although that was the acccepted wisdom for a while. See Mary Roach explain in this TED talk:
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/mary_…
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/mary_…
37
@ 5; I've never heard the failure rate for condoms to be as high as 17%. One of the biggest errors in putting on condoms that increases the chances of failure is not squeezing the top as you roll it down. If the reservoir tip is full of air when it gets full of other stuff then the condom can either pop or the air can push the semen down the sides. All I can say is thank god for comprehensive sex education.
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