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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Film Hollywood Is Stupid

Posted by Paul Constant on Tue, May 26, 2009 at 4:47 PM

1.) Hey, I haven't written about that shitty new Terminator movie in almost four days! I got into an argument with a friend on Friday night about which one was worse: Terminator 3 or Terminator 4. I still think this newest one is the worst, and this interview with McG really points out why it's so awful: Because McG has no fucking clue how to make a movie. His original ending, and the one that's still obviously his preferred ending, involved killing the entire cast:

...he shoots everybody in the room. Fade to black. End of movie. Skynet wins. F—- you!

I swear to God McG must be a thirteen year old boy.

2.) Topless Robot says that they're remaking the movie version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Yes, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie that was a major flop until Joss Whedon remade it into a Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series (a series that really was one of the best TV shows of all time). They're going to remake that movie. Without any of the actors who appeared in either of the Buffy the Vampire Slayers, and without Joss Whedon's involvement. All this needs to become the dumbest movie of all time is McG at the helm. Get on it, Hollywood.

Comments (17) RSS

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Which is worse; Terminator 3 or Terminator 4? Which is worse; getting bit on the ass by a rattlesnake or getting bit on the ass by a pit viper?

Posted by crazycatguy on May 26, 2009 at 4:53 PM

Ok, so he is an adult, with a career, etc etc and he goes by the name McG. Isn't that sign enough that he is a fucking tool who one would be better off completely ignoring.

Posted by Frank Rizzo on May 26, 2009 at 5:02 PM

The name does not or should not equal doughy white boy, but alas McG is, indeed, a doughy white boy.

Posted by keshmeshi on May 26, 2009 at 5:22 PM

Which is worse; Terminator 3 or Terminator 4? Which is worse; shoving your head inside an elephants asshole or licking a corpse clean after an autopsy?

Posted by Super Jesse on May 26, 2009 at 5:22 PM

I would go see T4 if everybody died. That would have at least given me some vindication that I sat through this terrible movie.

Posted by TheMisanthrope on May 26, 2009 at 5:24 PM

#4, considering elephants have a fairly boring diet, I imagine their rectum to be quite clean. At worst it probably smells like that gross yard waste smell at the transfer station. Definitely would rather do that than lick a human corpse, known for doing shit like eating Taco Bell in their former lives

Posted by w7ngman

on May 26, 2009 at 5:29 PM

Artistic merits of T4 aside, put me in a room with Christian Bale and there'd be more banging than a screen door in a hurricane.

Posted by Original Andrew on May 26, 2009 at 5:32 PM

Makes Christian Bale's famous over-the-top rant seem even more ridiculous.

Posted by Dougsf on May 26, 2009 at 5:37 PM

@4:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytWgovxo3…

Posted by ak47 on May 26, 2009 at 6:31 PM

@9 - Holy crap! that's sooooooo funny! Could you imagine what was going through his mind at that moment. One second you're just shoveling away and then, ploop!, your head is surrounded on all sides by a warm moist butthole, you can breath, you can't see, you hear a distant bellow.

Fuck waterboarding, elephant butthole bobbing is the new torture.

Posted by Super Jesse on May 26, 2009 at 6:56 PM

Remaking a movie of Buffy - a real life movieland version of Ali G writing a book of the movie Lord of the Rings. How sweet it is to know that the world is mad, mad, mad...

Posted by ozchick on May 26, 2009 at 7:13 PM

@9

"This is one day neither he or the elephant will ever forget."

and neither will I ever again.

Posted by Simone on May 26, 2009 at 7:28 PM

Worse than T3? Damn...

Posted by disintegrator

on May 26, 2009 at 9:52 PM

Yeah, the thing I can't figure out is the rash of people surprised that a movie, directed by a man who identifies himself as McG, sucks.

Posted by Agent of Chaos on May 26, 2009 at 11:17 PM

I really miss Buffy.

Posted by very bad homo on May 27, 2009 at 12:45 AM

paul..
i wanna thank you for flogging the dead elephant booty. you managed to talk me out of seeing it twice. the first time the trailer kinda piqued me. the second time a friend had me almost talked into it and i remembered something about chirstian bale's mutter/growl and thought 'at least batman had heath ledger'...

Posted by reverend dr dj riz on May 27, 2009 at 1:13 AM

Why does everyone hate on the original Buffy movie? It wasn't the greatest film ever, but I've had many less pleasant 90 minute stretches of my life.

Posted by dwight moody on May 27, 2009 at 2:13 PM