Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Homo Children Are Confused by Gays
Posted by Paul Constant on Wed, May 20, 2009 at 4:39 PM
This has been circling the internet for a few days now, but I don't believe it has hit Slog yet. NOM's newest video raises the most important question in the gay marriage battle yet: What will happen to our incredibly stupid children if gays are allowed to marry?
If you're keeping track, "If my dad married a man, who would be my mom?" is the new "opposite marriage."
(Via.)
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3
Wow, god forbid this child should lose a parent. "Mom died, so now I have no mom, so I'm no better than the child of a sodomite."
4
That's awesome. I think we should expand this idea - let's not pass any legislation that can't be understood by a small child.
Of course, as most recent (faux) conservative debate seems to be developed around the theme of MINE! MINE! MINE! that would probably work out pretty well for them.
Of course, as most recent (faux) conservative debate seems to be developed around the theme of MINE! MINE! MINE! that would probably work out pretty well for them.
6
I think your mom would be who she always was.
Unless you're adopted, in which case you get two new parents, who may or may not be dads or moms.
But I remember when a poor child ran down the street crying after the robots from Mars killed his parents saying "Mommy! I wish the robots hadn't killed you!"
Then the robots killed him, cause whiny kids irritate invading extra-planetary robots.
Unless you're adopted, in which case you get two new parents, who may or may not be dads or moms.
But I remember when a poor child ran down the street crying after the robots from Mars killed his parents saying "Mommy! I wish the robots hadn't killed you!"
Then the robots killed him, cause whiny kids irritate invading extra-planetary robots.
7
Interesting point @ 5 but really children have never been confusing to me....other peoples (lack of) parenting skillz maybe..... but never the kids themselves and I've been gay all my life.
11
This actually isn't very new, I remember it airing in Wisconsin in 2004 (i think-maybe 06) when the ban on gay marriage was on the ballot. But it's still just as dumb now as it was then.
12
When I was about four or five I asked why a particular uncle wasn't married to a lady. My Mother explained that my uncle likes guys instead of girls. I said, "huh...okay." Then I asked if I could have a snack.
That is how you end confusion. Tell the truth and hand out a snack.
That is how you end confusion. Tell the truth and hand out a snack.
13
No, as I kid I had gays all figured out: Charles Nelson Reilly, Paul Lynde, Snagglepuss, Savoir Faire, I KNEW something was up with these guys. Velma, Endora, Peppermint Patty, I knew these three were friends somehow. And really, as a kid - I didn't care. They made me laugh, that's all I ask for. Next.
14
P.S. My parents were together until my dad died, nice and all. But we had divorces all over my dad's side of the family and get this: TWO of my aunts by marriage committed suicide (garage door + exhaust) within five years of each other and were married to the same guy, my uncle.
15
"If we change the definition of marriage, our kids will be taught a new way of thinking"
OMG whats next, a round Earth, reliable Anesthesia, the metric system?
OMG whats next, a round Earth, reliable Anesthesia, the metric system?
18
This is great! The bigots have scraped the bottom of the barrel when it comes to arguments against gay marriage and thus are reduced to this ridiculous "but it confuses the poor lisping children" approach.
19
I don't get why people are concerned about kids being confused, and therefore traumatized. My kids were around 6 and 8 when they saw couples lined up at the Keller Auditorium to get married, 2004 same-sex couples were allowed to marry in Portland for a brief window of enlightenment. They asked and I answered. The topic changed to what was for dinner. Both are fine now. I wish people would give kid some credit.
21
@2 Close.
The kid's appropriate question is: "If my mom was killed by my Dad in front of me, would it have been better to be adopted by a couple of fags?"
Also, if anybody has any children that they want in a commercial saying something like this, please...let me know.
The kid's appropriate question is: "If my mom was killed by my Dad in front of me, would it have been better to be adopted by a couple of fags?"
Also, if anybody has any children that they want in a commercial saying something like this, please...let me know.
22
"Mommy! Daddy! Jesus said to love your neighbor, and didn't mention the homersextual people. But people who call themselves Chrissans keep screaming about them and talking about the Old Testment. And we just ate some shrimp! Are we abominations!? ARE WE GONNA DIE NOW!!?" (Hysterical crying)
23
Wowzers! Christians sure do breed dumb kids! How about we implement that breeding license now? Seriously, somebody needs to dredge that gene pool!
24
Odd. Many of the same people who think kids will emotionally self-destruct if they discover gays exist are the same people who think it’s fine and dandy to tell them there’s a hell. Because it’s way more unsettling to think two women might marry than to imagine eternal torture for millions of people…
Christ, I’d rather believe the boogeyman is under my bed.
Christ, I’d rather believe the boogeyman is under my bed.
25
Well - actually I believe this is a conservative PAC using images of children to bend the opinions of adults to suit their particular agenda. I don't think it really has much to do with confused children. They don't have all that much to work with - got to give them credit from a 'marketing' standpoint.
27
@26: You need a throne from which to drip these sparkling witticisms so we can catch them in an extended metaphor that implies you are really smart and very witty, possibly involving a simile.
29
My bet is, all those children grow up and will support same-sex marriage, and deeply resent ever being used as pawns in such hateful bigotry and propaganda.
30
That's very sweet baconcat, but really, it's true. Children ARE always confused: How do I tie my shoe? Which hand is my left hand? Is a collins the one that's made with gin?
It can really start to wear on a person after a while.
Don't get me wrong: It's not that I don't like children - it's just that there were so many of them running around where I come from. Then they grew up and started having their own children, and it was impossible to keep up with all of their names. I had to get away.
It can really start to wear on a person after a while.
Don't get me wrong: It's not that I don't like children - it's just that there were so many of them running around where I come from. Then they grew up and started having their own children, and it was impossible to keep up with all of their names. I had to get away.
31
@27, don't mess with Catalina. She would demolish you in an instant. I'm talking your kneecaps bashed inside out, your fingernails pulled out and turned into a hatband decoration, and your genitals (if you have such a thing) chomped up and hucked out into a spittoon. Seriously. You need to back the fuck off, bitch.
32
i came out to my god-daughter when she was 16..( for you secular humanists out there.a godchild is a child somebody else's parents entrusts their spiritual well being to in case they die , cause shit happens..in this case it was the dad who died) they didn't want her to know since we were separated by distance none of them had ever seen me coupled..so it didn't come up. but when she was 16 i took her out to lunch and she asked and i told. she was surprised, mostly because her mom never told her. i asked her did did she care ? she said 'no'. she asked me had i found that special someone yet ? and i told her i was working on it. we ordered dessert and that was that. children ain't that stupid is what i'm trying to say..not even fundamentalist ones.
34
Yeah, I thought @26 nailed it. Kids are confused by everything, being confused about gays won't tip the scales at all.
But the real point is... who gives a fuck what kids think? I thought retarded people were aliens when I was a kid. Kids are fucking stupid, that's why they aren't given driver's permits or gun licences. They DO eventually grow up and formulate their own opinions, if they're confused as a kid, just give em a glass of milk and turn on the boob tube, they'll forget whatever it was they were confused about as soon as spongebob hits the screen.
But the real point is... who gives a fuck what kids think? I thought retarded people were aliens when I was a kid. Kids are fucking stupid, that's why they aren't given driver's permits or gun licences. They DO eventually grow up and formulate their own opinions, if they're confused as a kid, just give em a glass of milk and turn on the boob tube, they'll forget whatever it was they were confused about as soon as spongebob hits the screen.
35
@11 I live in Wisconsin and I don't remember this ad at all.
These children don't even know what they are saying/talking about. They are either reading a card or their shitty parents made them memorize their lines.
It is grossly pathetic.
These children don't even know what they are saying/talking about. They are either reading a card or their shitty parents made them memorize their lines.
It is grossly pathetic.
37
Shorter NOM: "If gays are allowed to get married OUR kids are going to be really confused when they realize WE'VE been feeding them a big steaming bowl of bullshit all these years. Don't make us look like even bigger idiots to our kids - outlaw marriage between same-sex couples."
40
Remember its "all about the children".
When the fuck did we become such child fetishists? Don't you have to earn your respect in our society? Why does being a "newbie" give you so much power/value. Get over it, kids are confused by most of adult behavior, they will deal with it, just like we did.
I like the old Chinese tradition of honoring your elders. Earn your stripes!
When the fuck did we become such child fetishists? Don't you have to earn your respect in our society? Why does being a "newbie" give you so much power/value. Get over it, kids are confused by most of adult behavior, they will deal with it, just like we did.
I like the old Chinese tradition of honoring your elders. Earn your stripes!
41
When I was a kid, I thought I was supposed to marry my sister. I had no idea what marriage was, what parenting was all about, or the nature of amorous relationships. I didn't care either. If anything, the best spoof would be to show future children asking their parents why their state is the last one to disallow the relationships they're seeing all over the country...
I mean, kids are more confused as to why people can't do things, as opposed to why they can. The ad is so stupid and pointless that it can't even see that millions of children around this country face the same confusion about their absent father, dead mother, or 'uncles' and 'aunts' that aren't mommy and daddy.
If it's difficult explaining that love doesn't respect sexual boundaries, imagine how difficult it is to explain your child why your relationship has been isolated and deemed 'not respected' by the community at large, and set aside for ridicule on the playground. In that commercial, the kid would have a big fat bruise and would be crying.
I mean, kids are more confused as to why people can't do things, as opposed to why they can. The ad is so stupid and pointless that it can't even see that millions of children around this country face the same confusion about their absent father, dead mother, or 'uncles' and 'aunts' that aren't mommy and daddy.
If it's difficult explaining that love doesn't respect sexual boundaries, imagine how difficult it is to explain your child why your relationship has been isolated and deemed 'not respected' by the community at large, and set aside for ridicule on the playground. In that commercial, the kid would have a big fat bruise and would be crying.
42
first conversation with the kids re: gayness went something like this -
kid, age 4: "girls marry boys and boys marry girls, right?"
me: "most of the time."
kid: "you mean that sometimes girls marry girls and boys marry boys?"
me: "sometimes."
kid: "why?"
me: "because that is what feels right to them. it's just the way they were born."
kid: "hmm. okay. can i go ride my bike?"
me: "sure. have fun - wear your helmet."
kids only freak out like it's a big confusing deal if the parents treat it like it's a big confusing deal.
question asked, question answered, follow-up questions welcome .... move on.
he's nine now, and the topic has been revisited many times over the years with him and his sister for one reason or another, and to them it's just as matter-of-fact as some people being tall or short or wearing glasses.
he had his first (pre) sex-ed lesson this week and they talked about the different kinds of families. they watched the video and then had to do this worksheet about which kind of family is like looking in a mirror and which kind of family is like looking through a window ... they talked all about gay families in his class, and he said that all the kids were totally relaxed about it.
just goes to show that the reactions of children are 100% learned on this topic ... they only flip out if they're told to.
kid, age 4: "girls marry boys and boys marry girls, right?"
me: "most of the time."
kid: "you mean that sometimes girls marry girls and boys marry boys?"
me: "sometimes."
kid: "why?"
me: "because that is what feels right to them. it's just the way they were born."
kid: "hmm. okay. can i go ride my bike?"
me: "sure. have fun - wear your helmet."
kids only freak out like it's a big confusing deal if the parents treat it like it's a big confusing deal.
question asked, question answered, follow-up questions welcome .... move on.
he's nine now, and the topic has been revisited many times over the years with him and his sister for one reason or another, and to them it's just as matter-of-fact as some people being tall or short or wearing glasses.
he had his first (pre) sex-ed lesson this week and they talked about the different kinds of families. they watched the video and then had to do this worksheet about which kind of family is like looking in a mirror and which kind of family is like looking through a window ... they talked all about gay families in his class, and he said that all the kids were totally relaxed about it.
just goes to show that the reactions of children are 100% learned on this topic ... they only flip out if they're told to.
43
I'm detecting a pattern here. With the exception of @42, kids ask about homosexuality and then want something to eat or drink.
45
@43, oh god, please don't tell that to the folks who made the video. They'll make it sound like kids risk dying of intense dehydration/starvation every time they hear the word "homo."
47
@46, Good point. Maybe we could use the rising concern over childhood obesity and the Right’s obsessive paranoia to our advantage. I can hear the doctor’s advice now: “Make certain your child cuts back on sweets and fast food. Say ‘gay’ in his presence three times a week, followed by a balanced meal. If he continues to gain weight, add a sparing dose of ‘homo’.”
49
I really, really wish some of these people supporting idiot organizations like nom (an acronym which always makes me think of a turtle eating lettuce) would try talking to some of us who grew up reared by gay parents and *gasp* turned out fine. Mostly-straight, even. I never asked the "why do you live with a woman" question because, well, your parents are just your parents. It never really occurred to me until years later, then I put things together and realized that my mom's friend shared a bed with her. And all their friends were women who lived in pairs. Oh. They were gay.
And then I went back to obsessing over Jim Morrison or whatever I happened to be into at that point in my life.
Parental sexuality is not really of interest to children, and parents should pretty much keep children free of overt reminders of it. I'm not talking about handholding or kissing, I'm talking about any reminder that parents are sexual beings. It's not appropriate for kids, whatever the parents' gender or particular orientations.
And then I went back to obsessing over Jim Morrison or whatever I happened to be into at that point in my life.
Parental sexuality is not really of interest to children, and parents should pretty much keep children free of overt reminders of it. I'm not talking about handholding or kissing, I'm talking about any reminder that parents are sexual beings. It's not appropriate for kids, whatever the parents' gender or particular orientations.
50
@40
Fetishizing children (and pets) is, in my humble opinion, a symptom of a bloated and decedent society. It never ceases to blow my mind.
Fetishizing children (and pets) is, in my humble opinion, a symptom of a bloated and decedent society. It never ceases to blow my mind.
51
The message of this ad is not to label kids stupid (that's your arrogant take on it) but to unmask the absurdity in redefining marriage so that adults (who want to act like spoiled children) can get their way regardless of the consequences and indirect indoctrination that action will bring to real children. This video is not is not new, but I'm glad it's being rebroadcasted again, if there ever was a time when it needed to be shown this is it.
52
You're absolutely right loveschild, those who want to deny the right of gays and lesbians to protect their families are acting like whiny, spoiled children.
By the way, I see you're still into your rat bestiality fetish. Way to be a rolemodel.
By the way, I see you're still into your rat bestiality fetish. Way to be a rolemodel.
53
51, A lot of people don't want their children indoctrinated into your narrow minded, hateful agenda. Maybe you should do something that actually helps children, especially since child abuse and neglect is so rampant in your demographic:
Oh right, to cite real statistics is racist. The real tragedy in all this is that you must at all costs ignore the problem, and pretend that it doesn't exist. So you become part of the problem because you refuse to acknowledge it. Instead, you pointlessly go after a group that really doesn't harm you or your children in any way.
Child abuse and neglect cases disproportionately involve children of color, particularly African American/Black children, both in the Bay Area and statewide.
http://www.kidsdata.org/topictrends.jsp?…
Oh right, to cite real statistics is racist. The real tragedy in all this is that you must at all costs ignore the problem, and pretend that it doesn't exist. So you become part of the problem because you refuse to acknowledge it. Instead, you pointlessly go after a group that really doesn't harm you or your children in any way.
54
Donolectic,
When reading her comments you should be aware of the following.
"I 've never attacked Mr Savage, light hearted jokes about him without any malice towards him and when serious I have commented on my values and beliefs regarding the most appropriate scenarios for child rearing that I think we as a society with our eyes set on the future should encourage and not go for the least of options from the onset just to please some groups of adults. That's not an attack on Mr Savage or his pairings, and only someone with a myopic understanding would construe it as an attack on children under such (custodials like the one he has become a surrogate for) in places where that has been allowed. Every single post of mine has involved at minimum one question (always left unansewered ) on the topic which I have sought to understand."
Posted by Loveschild on May 20, 2009 at 6:05 PM
Have a great and safe holiday weekend.
When reading her comments you should be aware of the following.
"I 've never attacked Mr Savage, light hearted jokes about him without any malice towards him and when serious I have commented on my values and beliefs regarding the most appropriate scenarios for child rearing that I think we as a society with our eyes set on the future should encourage and not go for the least of options from the onset just to please some groups of adults. That's not an attack on Mr Savage or his pairings, and only someone with a myopic understanding would construe it as an attack on children under such (custodials like the one he has become a surrogate for) in places where that has been allowed. Every single post of mine has involved at minimum one question (always left unansewered ) on the topic which I have sought to understand."
Posted by Loveschild on May 20, 2009 at 6:05 PM
Have a great and safe holiday weekend.
55
@34
"just give em a glass of milk and turn on the boob tube, they'll forget whatever it was they were confused about as soon as spongebob hits the screen."
Sign of the times, I guess. I always thought the solution to a child not understanding something was to instruct them about it in a constructive, unbiased way. If they are unable to do this, then it is their duty to find somebody who can. To park a kid in front of the television when one has a chance to illuminate part of the human experience to him seemingly contradicts the entire goal of parenthood.
I think this video is disgusting, but almost more disgusting is this idea (whether serious or not) that "kids are stupid". Kids aren't stupid, they just don't have the life experience or education of an adult. For fuck's sake, their brains haven't finished growing. In reality, if you spend some time with kids, you may find that despite their seeming experiential ineptitude they occasionally are very wise.
"just give em a glass of milk and turn on the boob tube, they'll forget whatever it was they were confused about as soon as spongebob hits the screen."
Sign of the times, I guess. I always thought the solution to a child not understanding something was to instruct them about it in a constructive, unbiased way. If they are unable to do this, then it is their duty to find somebody who can. To park a kid in front of the television when one has a chance to illuminate part of the human experience to him seemingly contradicts the entire goal of parenthood.
I think this video is disgusting, but almost more disgusting is this idea (whether serious or not) that "kids are stupid". Kids aren't stupid, they just don't have the life experience or education of an adult. For fuck's sake, their brains haven't finished growing. In reality, if you spend some time with kids, you may find that despite their seeming experiential ineptitude they occasionally are very wise.
56
Catalina @30: In agreement to what you said about children being confused, because they're children. Here is a link to an article at the Onion A.V. Club which underscores your statements:
http://www.avclub.com/articles/this-is-y…
http://www.avclub.com/articles/this-is-y…
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