Slog

News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

Friday, May 15, 2009

Matthew McConaughey, Kate Beckinsale, and Gary Oldman on His Knees

Posted by David Schmader on Fri, May 15, 2009 at 9:10 AM

That is the basic recipe for Tiptoes, the 2003 romantic comedy whose trailer will tempt you to think "This must be a joke" but it is not.

After watching the above, perhaps you require proof that this trailer isn't some amazing prankster art project, ala Francesco Vezzoli's Trailer for a Remake of Gore Vidal’s ‘Caligula’. So did I. Here's the NYT overview (which confirms the film had its U.S. premiere at the 2004 Sundance Film Festival then went straight to DVD) and here's a review from eFilmCritic:

You may have noted that Rolfe, a dwarf, is played by Gary Oldman, who is 5'10". This is achieved through the movie magic of having Oldman walk around on his knees. One scene has his lower legs digitally removed, which probably cost a lot but which looks embarrassingly fake. Another time, his lower legs are clearly visible through a glass coffee table that was supposed to keep them hidden. Most of the time, you just wonder, if he's a dwarf, why are his arms so long?

Tiptoes is available at Scarecrow and other fine video outlets.

Thank you, Slog tipper Mindy.

Share via

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Newsvine
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • del.icio.us
  • Email
 

Comments (24) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Fnarf 1
Before I was halfway through reading this I was waiting for "it's only the size of your heart that counts". Sure enough, there it is. The rôle of a lifetime indeed.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on May 15, 2009 at 9:28 AM
2
"Gary Oldman in a role of a lifetime"

Looks like Gary did the equivalent of going full retard.
Posted by tacosaladday on May 15, 2009 at 9:29 AM
Tina 3
@2 Exactly, dude you NEVER go full retard... that being said I kinda wanna watch Gary Oldman crawl for an entire movie...
Posted by Tina on May 15, 2009 at 9:44 AM
Il Porno Star 4
Holy. Shit. I need to see this movie. Does it have Schmaeder commentary yet?
Posted by Il Porno Star on May 15, 2009 at 9:44 AM
5
I'm a loyal (to the point of pain every time he pulls shit like this) Gary Oldman fan, and that was possibly the worst movie I've ever seen. Oh GOD it's bad. Please, let's not even speak of it. I want to spare others the dull monotonous agony of its boringness.
Posted by Miss M on May 15, 2009 at 9:46 AM
treacle 6
Stop me before I post links to bad bad bad movies again! AAAaaaaauuuuggghh!!!
Posted by treacle on May 15, 2009 at 9:50 AM
NumberOne 7
It looks pretty damned funny, I would play it in the background during a party. If I ever throw another party again.
Posted by NumberOne on May 15, 2009 at 9:54 AM
Pepper St. Tort Reform 8
I saw it years ago - I'd almost forgotten. Don't waste your time. It's not even funny-bad, just bad.
Posted by Pepper St. Tort Reform on May 15, 2009 at 10:09 AM
TheMisanthrope 9
I'll bet you were so focused on the star-studded-ness that you didn't even notice the kicker: director Matthew Bright condemned it before it was shown.

If you don't know, Matthew Bright previously directed the amazing Freeway, AND the abysmal Freeway 2. Also, the forgettable Ted Bundy. And, lets not forget his writing and acting credits for Forbidden Zone.

And, to think...now he's doing a rom-com. Neil LaBute, he's not.
Posted by TheMisanthrope on May 15, 2009 at 10:35 AM
Original Andrew 10
Mmmm... McConaughey would look even hawter with my balls resting on his chin.
Posted by Original Andrew on May 15, 2009 at 10:36 AM
Original Andrew 11
Oh and re: the movie

.... ???? W. T. F. ???? ....
Posted by Original Andrew on May 15, 2009 at 10:37 AM
rob! 12
Tim Conway did kneewalking much better as Derf.
Posted by rob! on May 15, 2009 at 10:48 AM
TheMisanthrope 13
@10 Ew. No.
Posted by TheMisanthrope on May 15, 2009 at 10:48 AM
Original Andrew 14
TheMisanthrope @ 13,

The kahk wants what it wants. Might as well roll with it.
Posted by Original Andrew on May 15, 2009 at 10:54 AM
levide 15
There are no small roles, only small actors. No, wait, um...
Posted by levide on May 15, 2009 at 10:55 AM
16
9: Freeway! Respect must be paid.
Posted by David Schmader on May 15, 2009 at 10:55 AM
The Amazing Jim 17
9: Ah! Forbidden Zone, one of my favorites. How do you go wrong with topless women whipping other topless women, Herve Villechaize and the very start of Oingo Boingo.

Pico & Sepulveda....
Posted by The Amazing Jim http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=100000076496291&ref=profile on May 15, 2009 at 11:08 AM
heywhatsit!? 18
Dammit @12, it was Dorf, not Derf. Have some respect.
Posted by heywhatsit!? on May 15, 2009 at 11:50 AM
Will in Seattle 19
The French did it better.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on May 15, 2009 at 11:54 AM
eric (the other one) 20
This movie was better than it had any right to be. When you turn to Kate Beckinsale to be the emotional core of your movie you're starting at something of a disadvantage.
Posted by eric (the other one) on May 15, 2009 at 12:10 PM
21
Holycrap! I bet Oldman did it just to put another notch on his belt. He has to have the greatest character resume ever.
He's been a Neo-Nazi, Sid Viscious, Rosencrantz, Lee Harvey Oswald, Julien Schnabel, Drexl(!), Stansfield(!), Beethoven, Dracula, Pontius Pilate, the Devil, Dr. Smith, Syrius Black, Comissioner Gordon and a Rabbi! Playing the dwarf twin brother of McConaughey is just par for the course.
Posted by knobtheunicorn on May 15, 2009 at 12:17 PM
MC Hamming 22
How about a double feature with The Idiots?
Posted by MC Hamming on May 15, 2009 at 12:58 PM
23
@20: while I agree with your sentiment about Kate's "emotional core" presence, I did feel a lil' funny upon seeing her look up at MM in the beginning of the clip...
Posted by mmm...beckinsale on May 15, 2009 at 1:29 PM
rob! 24
@18, jeez, you're right. What a nord I am.
Posted by rob! on May 15, 2009 at 8:15 PM

Add a comment

Most Commented on Slog

 

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use