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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Crime / Chow Headline of the Day

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Wed, May 13, 2009 at 1:25 PM

Eggs, Hashbrowns and a Gun?

...An early morning run for breakfast at the Waffle House on Paxville Highway in Manning turned terribly wrong for Crystal Samuel.

"I thought I was gonna get me an All-Star," says Samuel. A popular meal on the menu. "Grits, sausage, toast, eggs and a waffle," says Samuel.

She didn't get what she came for...

Nutty story here.

Thanks to Slog tipper Reggie.

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Comments (13) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

Every person in this article should be killed immediately. Jesus fuck.

Posted by Mr. Poe on May 13, 2009 at 1:33 PM

Wow. I find that story interesting because more, um, reputable news outlets must edit people's dialects in quotes. You don't often see word-for-word quotes like that.

The normal editing seems kind of condescending... and yet reading "How you want us to leave and we ain't paid for the food yet" doesn't leave such a great impression.

In conclusion: I'm a racist.

Posted by leek on May 13, 2009 at 1:34 PM

I love the comments, too - the alleged criminal "enjoys the company of women" based on her smile in her mug shot.

Yes, put me in jail so I may scissor fuck all the other ladies! I am so pleased!

Posted by Ziggity on May 13, 2009 at 1:37 PM

I done read it but I ain't gotsaknow whattid be da prollem?

Posted by Urgutha Forka on May 13, 2009 at 1:40 PM

Jesus, what happens if you don't tip?!?!

Posted by Tina on May 13, 2009 at 1:54 PM

I think Waffle House is the only thing I miss from Florida.

Posted by Jessica on May 13, 2009 at 1:57 PM

Well, it is the South, you know. The last time I checked, it was legal to shoot somebody for throwing food at you.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty

on May 13, 2009 at 2:02 PM

scattered smothered and covered

Posted by john cocktosin on May 13, 2009 at 2:07 PM

Bethany, that might be 'headline of the day' but I still think that Dom has the best sentence of the day from his closing line on the entry "WooHoo"

"The rest of the story, which begins at Home Depot and ends with the car on fire..."

Posted by Hyzenthlayk9

on May 13, 2009 at 2:38 PM

if your name is "Crystal", odds are good you're White Trash. like 99% good.

Posted by Max Solomon on May 13, 2009 at 3:05 PM

In a Pancake House you'd get beat down with a broom handle. Just a better class of people all around.

@11 - Sorry, care to play again? See the pictures.

Posted by The Amazing Jim

on May 13, 2009 at 3:14 PM

@10, I think you meant "black trash", except you probably didn't. The photo is right there in the article.

Posted by T. Shandy on May 13, 2009 at 3:28 PM

it's another amazing chance to celebrate the many wonderful benefits of diverSHITTY!

Posted by hooray for divershitty! on May 14, 2009 at 7:44 AM