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Monday, May 11, 2009

Books Two Literary Contests

Posted by Paul Constant on Mon, May 11, 2009 at 12:32 PM

9290/1242069974-image002.jpg Contest Number 1: Matthew Simmons is giving away rare hardcover copies of his upcoming novella A Jello Horse to two people who do the following:

SEND ME IMAGES OF YOURSELF PLAYING PINBALL. Or someone playing pinball. A pinball image of some sort. Just one of your own. I am going to collect them, rate the quality and ingenuity of the photo and create a sort of lottery. My favorite photos will receive higher scores and more chances to win the lottery and win a hardcover copy of A Jello Horse. I will post the photos (or whatever you do...an image, you know? Drawings are acceptable. Little movies, too) on the blog unless you don't want me to. I will pick winners the last week in May. So send them before that. Provide links to huge files if you have huge files.

Contest Number 2: This guy keeps sending me e-mails about his contest. Apparently, he has a book of poems being published by Tao Lin's publishing house, and to celebrate he is throwing a short story contest. People send him money and a short story and the winner gets 70% of the funds, with 30% going to the guy throwing the contest. He is pitching this contest like it is a daring, controversial thing to do because he makes money off of it, and I got the thirty millionth e-mail from him today, this time with the opening sentence:

Bro, it would be so sweet if you blogged about this. It has a high potential for shit-talking.

In conclusion, I hope you will send your pinball pictures to Matthew Simmons because, hey, possibility of a free book, bro. Sweet!

Comments (13) RSS

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Check it, bro. Contest #2 sounds fucking gay. Big-ups to #1, B. Shit D.

Posted by Mr. Poe on May 11, 2009 at 12:40 PM

Anybody who uses the word "bro" unironically should have their larynx cut out. Potentially those who use it ironically too, depending on how curmudgeonly I'm feeling.

Also, um, it's really not that brilliant or novel of an idea to make money off of a literary contest. Some people are stupid and will fall for it, sure. But, that was pretty much the whole idea of the Sobol Award and not enough people fell for that one to make it viable.

Posted by Julie in Eugene on May 11, 2009 at 12:47 PM

"Curmudgeonly" being the key descriptor here for ol' JiE

Posted by Stacey on May 11, 2009 at 1:58 PM

I like the cover of Matthew's booky wook.

Posted by Travis J. Knucklzz on May 11, 2009 at 2:23 PM

Tao Lin, the gimmicky self-promoter, has disciples that are gimmicky self-promoters. Big fucking surprise.

Posted by ak47 on May 11, 2009 at 2:28 PM

the other contest sounds pretty cool, though

Posted by ak47 on May 11, 2009 at 2:31 PM

Someone sent me a photo of a friend playing Guns and Roses pinball. Did you know that the Guns and Roses pinball machine was, when it came out, the loudest one ever made? I learned that on youtube. Thanks, Slash.

The hardcover has a special, alternate cover.

Also, I sent them out to Lulu, and understand that the kerning might be a little wonky. Sorry, winners.

Posted by the man who couldn't blog

on May 11, 2009 at 2:50 PM

bro you forgot to mention all the prizes

you can win matthew simmons' A JELLO HORSE in my contest too, as well as LIGHT BOXES by shane jones (same publisher)

seems sweet

there are like 10 other things you can win, too

Posted by lydia davis on May 11, 2009 at 3:23 PM

damn this is the message you get after signing up with 'slog':

"Sweet! Your account is now active! Please log in below to get started."

damn

Posted by lydia davis on May 11, 2009 at 3:25 PM

bro's name is brandon, he is a 'hipster'

Posted by chloe on May 12, 2009 at 9:04 AM

contest two sounds like everything small presses are already doing only super shady.

Posted by sarahlloyd on May 12, 2009 at 2:25 PM

I feel bad for the people who paid to be in Brandon's contest, and now will be embarrassed if they win it, because then everyone will know that they paid him money. I bet he's gotten a few requests to have entries withdrawn. ("Keep my money, bro. I just want out of this thing!")

Posted by Jackie on May 13, 2009 at 2:11 PM

yuh, transparency is super shady and people should feel 'embarassed' about it, totes.

Posted by paul auster on May 15, 2009 at 12:41 PM