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News & ArtsWednesday, April 29, 2009
Chow / TV Washington State's Best Burger
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 4:31 PM
...as determined by the mighty Food Network, is: Lunchbox Laboratory's dork burger.
christopher h in Stranger reader-reviews agrees:
The "dork" burger, a mixture of duck and pork, is a revelation! Its inventor should be beatified and celebrated. While the malevolent richness of the dork is my favorite offering, all the burgers are deep and toothsome, made all the better for the host of cheeses, freshly made condiments, and fried sides available. These are the burgers I think of in those precious minutes before falling asleep and that haunt me whenever I buy a bag of Dick's serviceable brand of cheeseburger.
"Malevolent richness"—well played, sir. And its inventor, Scott Simpson, should indeed be beatified and celebrated: His (totally bizarre) story is a triumph of the human spirit.
Thanks, Matt Hickey!
1
Taken literally, a dork is a whale's penis, which makes this burger seem much less delicious than a deep and toothsome combination of pork and duck.
No, I have never taken a dork, literally or otherwise.
No, I have never taken a dork, literally or otherwise.
2
I've had the Dork Burger before, it's pretty awesome. Too bad it costs the wife and I $42 for two burgers, fries and shakes at LL.
3
Doesn't a hamburger really have to be primarily beef in order to be considered a burger, let alone "the best burger"? Undoubtedly, duck and pork are great together, but it's like asking what the best cake is and saying it's some fabulous tarte tatin. Which isn't a cake.
5
Coincidentally, I ate there for lunch today.
It is probably the best burger I've ever eaten, but I believe I have lost some years from my life. It is probably a 3000 calorie lunch.
It is $14 for a 1/2 burger and fries ($12 for the 1/4 lb, but only available in beef -- no 1/4 lb dork). I'd say this is overpriced, except it's a very small place, it's crowded, and I'll go back again, so maybe they know what they're doing.
It is probably the best burger I've ever eaten, but I believe I have lost some years from my life. It is probably a 3000 calorie lunch.
It is $14 for a 1/2 burger and fries ($12 for the 1/4 lb, but only available in beef -- no 1/4 lb dork). I'd say this is overpriced, except it's a very small place, it's crowded, and I'll go back again, so maybe they know what they're doing.
6
wow, it is tasty, but for those prices...sheesh it is a sandwich right? I hope you all enjoy the expensive street food you shit eaters.
7
@4,
The word hamburger is named after Hamburg, Germany, not because it has ham in it. It was first called a Hamburg steak.
Robble Robble
The word hamburger is named after Hamburg, Germany, not because it has ham in it. It was first called a Hamburg steak.
Robble Robble
8
Meanwhile, people are dying and billions of tax dollars are being spent because you can't stop eating pig and bird carcasses. Fuck you conservative douchebags.
9
I'm glad this place exists for some reason, but I've been twice I can't say I really enjoyed it. Everything is too rich, too... something. It's like taking a bite of your fish and chips to discover the fish is Chinook salmon. (true, and disgusting, story) Quality is nice and all, but there's a burger-to-fanciness ration that has to remain in balance before we're just talking about weird meatloaf sandwiches.
The owner seems nice, however, so good for them on the accolade.
The owner seems nice, however, so good for them on the accolade.
11
@7:
I always thought the word was coined to honor Hamburg, NY, where one story says the 'burger was invented in the late 1800's.
In any case, who really cares whether a hamburger has beef, pork, chicken, duck, or whatever? So long as it's ground, fried and slapped between two pieces of bun, that's good enough for me.
I always thought the word was coined to honor Hamburg, NY, where one story says the 'burger was invented in the late 1800's.
In any case, who really cares whether a hamburger has beef, pork, chicken, duck, or whatever? So long as it's ground, fried and slapped between two pieces of bun, that's good enough for me.
12
While I'm still an ardent supporter of Lunchbox Laboratory, the last time I ate there I have to say I was overwhelmed by the excessive portions of bacon on their "Tribute to Dick's Special" and another special burger whose name escapes me (offered on the aforementioned heavenly Dork). The bacon was almost thicker than the substantial meat patty, and I just had a moment of what I'll call meat-shock-- as if my very cells were oversalted and served confit. Despite this, there's really no substitute for a LL burger when I'm craving it and overall my experience with their burgers, sides, condiments, and everything else has been worthy of hyperbole.
So while my Lunchbox Laboratory zealotry has mellowed, I'm remain excited about eating there at any opportunity-- I just might hold off on the bacon.
So while my Lunchbox Laboratory zealotry has mellowed, I'm remain excited about eating there at any opportunity-- I just might hold off on the bacon.
13
Also, folks should ignore the glossy Food Network site and check out George Motz's book and documentary Hamburger America, which profiles a wide array of hamburger joints that offer diverse techniques (steamed hams! 100-year old grease! 1lb. of butter burger!) as well as nice portraits of the family traditions and local history that have shaped those small businesses.
The documentary is just a lovingly done mash-note to hamburgers, and is a great example of how much better it is when a documentary filmmaker chooses to stay out of the picture and let his subjects tell the story.
http://www.hamburgeramerica.com
The documentary is just a lovingly done mash-note to hamburgers, and is a great example of how much better it is when a documentary filmmaker chooses to stay out of the picture and let his subjects tell the story.
http://www.hamburgeramerica.com
14
I guess there are different versions of the origin of the word hamburger, and it could be both.
http://whatscookingamerica.net/History/H…
http://whatscookingamerica.net/History/H…
15
Hilarious, but of course there will never be a soybean plague.
I hope none of you ever take your kids to burger joints to consume the bodies of cows, pigs or birds. Not only are you cutting their lifespans by 7 years (on average) and dramatically increasing their chance of getting heart disease, strokes, several cancers, diabetes, and obesity - you are priming their generation to deal with even more severe, mutated pandemics.
I hope none of you ever take your kids to burger joints to consume the bodies of cows, pigs or birds. Not only are you cutting their lifespans by 7 years (on average) and dramatically increasing their chance of getting heart disease, strokes, several cancers, diabetes, and obesity - you are priming their generation to deal with even more severe, mutated pandemics.
16
lunchbox laboratory should be renamed shitbox suckass.
the food is overpriced and not tasty. it literally tasted like someone shat on my burger and called it pate.
i tried three times cos all my friends rave, but there is no way i'll ever feel this place is a great burger joint. not even in the top 10 for seattle.
the food is overpriced and not tasty. it literally tasted like someone shat on my burger and called it pate.
i tried three times cos all my friends rave, but there is no way i'll ever feel this place is a great burger joint. not even in the top 10 for seattle.
17
@16: Morrissey, stop posting on blogs. Don't you have a new album that is decent enough but not as good as earlier work to promote?
18
@15 There's a pretty wide spectrum of meat-eaters. It is possible to occasionally enjoy a burger and not have a fast-food habit. Most, if not all, of the medical conditions you listed are related to obesity, not meat products specifically.
As for the pandemics you describe, there are responsible ways of producing meat. For example, the subject of this post, Lunchbox Laboratory, uses only organic meat, and they grind it on-site. Please explain how that is bad.
As for the pandemics you describe, there are responsible ways of producing meat. For example, the subject of this post, Lunchbox Laboratory, uses only organic meat, and they grind it on-site. Please explain how that is bad.
19
There's that whining noise again. Stop it now, I'll bet you're adorable when you're mad. Fourteen year old girls usually are.
21
If I really wanted to eat another salty greasebomb like the Dork, I'd go somewhere where it didn't cost 12 fucking bucks.
This place is only great if you have no clue what things should cost - or don't care.
This place is only great if you have no clue what things should cost - or don't care.
22
Very tasty burgers, but too greasy, expensive, and the establishment was DIRTY. I'm surprised they haven't been cited for health code violation.
24
@16:
I'm afraid I can't accept the culinary criticism of someone who admits they know what real shit tastes like.
@21:
Yeah, a Double McCheese Burger only costs $1.29, so it MUST be better, 'cuz it's cheaper, right?
I'm afraid I can't accept the culinary criticism of someone who admits they know what real shit tastes like.
@21:
Yeah, a Double McCheese Burger only costs $1.29, so it MUST be better, 'cuz it's cheaper, right?
25
Is their buffalo burger also really greasy? It seems like buffalo is less fatty than other meats. I've been tempted to go, but I don't think my stomach is physically capable of containing that much food.
26
Seriously now, a hamburger, under any definition, can only be so good, yes? Let's not get too excited about something that almost always begins with too much bread. And it looks like this one is no exception.
27
You just have to google salmonella to see how many vegetarian foods have sickened and killed people. Not to mention all the stress and depression caused by vegetarian diets. Plus I don't want to have the waxy, pallid vegetarian complexion.
Meanwhile, I'll have the occasional burger, and be happy because it's natural for us to be part of the food chain. It's good to be at the top of it. (well except for shark, and grizzly attacks.)
Meanwhile, I'll have the occasional burger, and be happy because it's natural for us to be part of the food chain. It's good to be at the top of it. (well except for shark, and grizzly attacks.)
31
I don't think "malevolent richness" is well-played, it is a failed attempt to find an adjective other than decadent, which has some positive connotations relating to self-indulgence. Malevolent has no positive connotations.
Main Entry: ma·lev·o·lent
Pronunciation: \-lənt\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin malevolent-, malevolens, from male badly + volent-, volens, present participle of velle to wish — more at mal-, will
Date: 1509
1 : having, showing, or arising from intense often vicious ill will, spite, or hatred
2 : productive of harm or evil
Main Entry: ma·lev·o·lent
Pronunciation: \-lənt\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin malevolent-, malevolens, from male badly + volent-, volens, present participle of velle to wish — more at mal-, will
Date: 1509
1 : having, showing, or arising from intense often vicious ill will, spite, or hatred
2 : productive of harm or evil
32
@31 The negative connotations were exactly what I was getting at. As a lapsed vegan, I have a muddled relationship w/ meat eating. Having grown up in a pleasure-phobic predominantly Protestant culture, I also generally view anything as decadent as LL's offerings as negative, guilt-inducing, and thereby potentially malevolent. So there's that.
And anytime someone needs to bring a dictionary into a conversation to try and understand the context and meaning of a word-- well I think that person is the one demonstrating a lack of understanding of language.
And anytime someone needs to bring a dictionary into a conversation to try and understand the context and meaning of a word-- well I think that person is the one demonstrating a lack of understanding of language.
33
and @32-and-elsewhere, it's your subtle/unusual use of it that's so good—especially considering the chef's muddled relationship WITH FOOD ITSELF.
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