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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Life Need a Reason to Worry Less About Swine Flu?

Posted by Eli Sanders on Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 2:22 PM

Here's one: While we're now at LEVEL 5 (which, in the terror alert scale we're all most familiar with, is the top) there is in fact STILL ANOTHER LEVEL LEFT TO GO on the World Health Organization's pandemic alert scale before you can officially freak the fuck out.

Phase 6, the pandemic phase, is characterized by community level outbreaks in at least one other country in a different WHO region in addition to the criteria defined in Phase 5. Designation of this phase will indicate that a global pandemic is under way.

Plus, Charles Mudede, still wearing an inside-out shirt, contends there is a seventh, secret level that we will find out about in the event.

Level 5: not as scary as what's coming!

Comments (24) RSS

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DEFCON uses an inverted alert scale. DEFCON 5 is normal. DEFCON 1 is the "top."

Posted by No fighting in the war room! on April 29, 2009 at 2:25 PM

Can you please link to some other source besides fucking Drudge, in 2009?

Posted by fuck you I almost clicked on that link on April 29, 2009 at 2:30 PM

@1: D'oh. Fixed. @2: Sure. Done.

Posted by Eli Sanders on April 29, 2009 at 2:30 PM

Of course, it really goes to 11. That level involves preachy zombies selling time shares.

Posted by Zander on April 29, 2009 at 2:39 PM

Eli, thanks; I take it back

Posted by no need to fuck yourself now on April 29, 2009 at 2:40 PM

Finally, finally something I agree with Mudede about!

Posted by I Got Nuthin' on April 29, 2009 at 2:42 PM

I trust Charlie's thought of a secret level 7 about as much as this flu is part of the end of the world and the start of the second coming of Christ. Actually, I'd believe Christ was coming back before I believed in a secret level 7...

AND I'M AN ATHIEST!!!!

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on April 29, 2009 at 2:42 PM

@4: At level 9, Loveschild marries three goats and professes lesbian desires for ECB.

Posted by Baconcat on April 29, 2009 at 2:43 PM

@ 8, that would have been better if you said Kim in Portland rather than ECB.

Posted by everyone's a critic on April 29, 2009 at 2:48 PM

@9: I wouldn't wish that on Kim, that's terrible.

Posted by Baconcat on April 29, 2009 at 2:49 PM

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!1!

Posted by oh yeah- my panties? WADDED. on April 29, 2009 at 2:54 PM

Here's a great site that will tell you if you have swine flu: http://doihaveswineflu.org/

Posted by Medina on April 29, 2009 at 3:02 PM

Level 7 is where the villagers chase you with torches and pitch forks if you cough or sneeze in public.

Posted by stella on April 29, 2009 at 3:13 PM

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!

(But I voted Yikes, just to be clear.)

Posted by Enigma on April 29, 2009 at 3:13 PM

@12 I prefer this one: http://doihavepigflu.com/

Posted by N on April 29, 2009 at 3:14 PM

The useful thing about the scale, according to my Scientist Friend, is that it makes governments actually pay attention, so the WHO monitoring scientist people can actually do what they need to do. According to her, normally it's irritatingly difficult to get governments to allow them to do their jobs.

Posted by Abby on April 29, 2009 at 3:16 PM

i don't know about the swine flu, but there's already a lot of whine flu in the air...

Posted by michael strangeways on April 29, 2009 at 3:37 PM

@13

Do any of them have sacks on their heads, and chainsaws?

Press A to not die (of pig flu).

Posted by balderdash on April 29, 2009 at 3:41 PM

Level 5? Does this mean I gain one Daily Attack Power?

Posted by Celestine on April 29, 2009 at 3:43 PM

God, this is dumb. My newspaper reports that a 30-year-old woman in Victoria picked it up in Mexico last week, but now she's perfectly fine. Health officials here say there is little threat through casual contact. It really isn't a big cause for concern for most people up here.

I know Canadians are supposed to be boring, but the current hysteria in the US news kinda makes me thankful for it.

(Not that I'm criticizing. I know most Slog readers aren't suckers.)

Posted by Irena on April 29, 2009 at 4:07 PM

@20: You have to realize that the next major battle in this country, politically, will be over health care. The economy has lost traction as a concern, so now we're pulling up those planks and moving on to health matters.

Posted by Baconcat on April 29, 2009 at 4:17 PM

@21: Good point. And I tend to forget that health issues are pretty scary when you don't have insurance. Sorry if I sounded smug.

And just to distance myself further from the Will in Seattle-ishness of my last comment, I'll suggest that Canadians are sometimes too complacent. Here's a stereotypical quote from the CBC:

"I appreciate the change in news stories, even if it is over a flu, as I have become tired of the Olympics and elections."

Posted by Irena on April 29, 2009 at 4:25 PM

Perhaps the mysterious Level 7 of a pandemic (if there is such) has to do with the later stages which are more virulent. I'm guessing this is due to the mutation of the virus.

Here is one mention of it:
http://susiemadrak.com/2009/04/26/12/37/…

Posted by Oh that on April 29, 2009 at 4:51 PM

Holy crap, I know what it is. There's SOMETHING ON CHARLES'S SHIRT THAT PREVENTS SWINE FLU. That's why he's wearing it inside out, to ward it off! Quick! Rip his shirt off and rub yourself on it!

Posted by Fnarf on April 29, 2009 at 5:09 PM