I suspected it would happen eventually, but I never thought my first time sitting in a room full of people watching a man being sodomized on stage with a 12-foot pole would be in Texas. Thanks to the Fuse Box performance festival in Austin (where I've been for the last few days) for the surprise.
The poling (with a dildo on the end, theatrically slathered in Crisco) came courtesy of the Rubber Repertory, an Austin company. The rest of the show, Mr. Z Loves Company, was unfortunately thin, a dirty but repetitive vaudeville. (They're salacious! They're eating fake poop! They're kuh-raaaaaazy!) It was Marquis de Sade lite, with the actors (the pervy Mr. Z and his "naughty maids") building little sex machines and playing organs in minor keys. They went for quick and easy titters and they got them—but nothing more.
A better Rubber Rep show, apparently, was last year's Casket of Passing Fancy, in which the company offered an audience of 30 different "experiences." People would raise their hands when they heard an offer they liked: "Who would like to go on a road trip to Mexico leaving right now?" "Who would like to be blindfolded and dropped off in a part of town they don't know?" "Who would like to have his or her name tattooed on this actor's ass?" "Who would like to experience 'magical thinking'?" (That offer landed one game critic in a locked bathroom for two hours while she listened to her friend, who accepted a different "experience," arguing with three actors about why she shouldn't feel obliged to give them her underwear.)
The show happened last fall, but people keep bringing it up—it left a deep impression in the town's memory.

Best in show at the Festival so far: the Rude Mechs—another Austin company—with The Method Gun, an awesomely tragic and occasionally goofy show about a 1970s acting guru named Stella Burden. She disappeared, but her company soldiered on, rehearsing their experimental production of A Streetcar Named Desire for nine years: a production of Streetcar without the characters Stanley, Blanche, Stella, or Mitch. Just everyone else.
Theater about theater, like writing about writing, is usually a solipsistic disaster. I assumed The Method Gun would be a chore.
I've never been more wrong. (Again.)
Plus, it stars this tiger.
Somebody had better bring this show to Seattle.
When I was posting Your Daily Muppet for the Morning News this week, someone requested the following video, but it didn't seem like a morning video to me. Instead, it seems like the perfect just-got-home-from-the-bar-and-too-restless-to-sleep evening time video:
Goodnight, drunky.
If you want an open forum to talk about that beautiful, beautiful soccer game, here you go.
Before she was a TV star... Bea was a Broadway star.
RIP Bea. And, yes, the fact that Angela didn't play Mame in the film is one of the great tragedies our of time
UPDATE: Oh. My. God.
Thank you so much, Slog commenters, for this treat. Thank you. The tuba, the banjo, the LYRICS. Good God, the lyrics. And the tuba! Who wrote this? Who orchestrated it? And was Amyl Nitrate ever some guy's name? And this was on TV?!?! Genius. And the banjo! God know what your grandpa's huffin'? I have to go sit in a dark room for a day or two now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

...that the earthly existence of Bea Arthur has come to an end.
(As Entertainment Tonight reports, she was 86, at home, and had been battling cancer. Thanks for the breaking news, Slog Tipper Reggie, and while Bea Arthur's death makes me sadder than I would've imagined, I can't wait for the impending avalanche of posthumous tributes to her lifelong bad-assery.)
Detroit takes QB Matthew Stafford with the first pick in the 2009 NFL draft.
I'll sporadically update. Discuss/gripe away in the comments.
T Jason Smith is a St. Louis Ram
The Kansas City Chiefs make the first surprise pick of today's draft, picking up DE Tyson Jackson.
The Seahawks are on the clock
Monster LB Aaron Curry is a Seahawk!
The Jets trade up for the Browns' 5th pick and take QB Mark Sanchez.
Cincinnati takes Alabama OT Andre Smith.
Oakland makes a crazy pick and takes WR Darrius Heyward-Bey way higher than he was projected.
OT Eugene Monroe is a Jaguar.
DT B.J. Raji is a cheese head.
Due to technical issues and catastrophic car stereo installation problems, I'm going to direct you to Fieldgulls for further draft coverage. I'll be back later to assess things. So far, I'm excited about the Curry pick. I know a LB probably wasn't our biggest need, but taking a low risk pick when we need to rebuild seems to make some sense.
During his campaign, Obama said he'd finally (finally) recognize the Armenian genocide, in which nearly 1 million Armenians disappeared from the public record between 1915 and 1916. But he danced around the topic in a recent speech commemorating the killings.
Barack Obama was unequivocal during the campaign: As president, he would recognize the nearly century-old massacre of Armenians in Turkey as genocide.In breaking that promise Friday, the president did the same diplomatic tiptoeing he criticized the Bush administration for doing.
Like George W. Bush before him, Obama did not want to alienate vital ally Turkey by declaring the slaughter of an estimated 1.5 million Armenians to be genocide - especially with Turkey and Armenia now exploring reconciliation.
Turkey objected to the speech anyway.
Armenians around the world are pissed. Slog reader Nevdon—an American citizen—writes from Germany:
It took almost 100 days but I am over Obama. My Obama New Yorker cover and button is coming off the wall of my studio. We are really depressed (really, my wife started crying when she heard) that he has reneged today on his campaign promise to recognize the Armenian genocide. In Armenia, no one expected him to follow through as the last four US presidents have also lied about doing this. But I thought he'd be differant and it is a little heart breaking to be wrong. I would appreciate it if you posted something to Slog about this. It is a big deal, but doesn't seem to be getting much press.
Christopher Hitchens covers why and how it's a big deal—for Armenia, for Turkey, for America, for Iraq, and for the struggle of secular vs. theocratic Islamic states—here:
It is for the Turks, whose bravest cultural spokesmen and writers take genuine risks to break the taboo on discussion of the Armenian question. And it is also for Americans, who, having elected a supposedly brave new president, are being told that he—and our Congress too—must agree to collude in a gigantic historical lie.
Music
A night of excellent food (by Jason Wilson of Crush) and eclectic, cutting-edge music? Sounds delicious. The menu features all locally grown, organic produce(rs): avant-funk masters Foscil, who have a new release, Collaborative Efforts Vol. 2, due soon with sotto voce rapper supreme Specs One; techno/IDM fun-maximizer Jerry Abstract; and deft hiphop turntablist DJ Introcut. All contain natural ingredients, seasoned with savory spices, and prepared for those with epicurean tastes. (South Lake Union Underground, 611 Pontius Ave N, 607-9027. 9 pm, $6 plus food, 21+.)
DAVE SEGAL
Three events and an open mic today.
Brenda Miller reads at Elliott Bay Book Company. Here is a synopsis of her book, Blessing of the Animals: "A new dog leads Brenda Miller to explore the blurred edges between the physical and the spiritual, to probe the connective tissues of magnetism, memory, and mysticism." Sounds ruff!
The Hugo House hosts an event tonight with the poets Keely Isaak Meehan, Linden Ontjes and Christian Swenson. Here is the description of this event: The three poets "will perform one poem in multiple mediums; then you'll be asked to translate it back into a poem." This could be terribly fun or terribly lame. One way to find out, I guess.
And at the library, Steve Scher hosts a forum titled “Political Spin: A Conversation about Frost/Nixon and the Role of Media in Politics." Sarah Palin's disastrous Katie Couric interview will also be discussed. This is clearly the reading of the day.
The full readings calendar, including the next week or so, is here.
...by our murder-for-hire plots.
A Baltimore pastor who worked with developmentally disabled people was charged Friday with befriending a blind and disabled man in his care, then paying a hit man $50,000 in church funds for an execution so he could collect life insurance money.Police say Kevin Jerome Pushia, 32, who worked for four months as an operations manager for the Arc of Baltimore before abruptly quitting in January, confessed to plotting to kill Lemuel Wallace. Pushia told police he persuaded Wallace and "numerous" other mentally challenged individuals to list him as a beneficiary on insurance policies.
Post by News Intern Alexander Brown
Nyah, Nyah, Nyah: Democrats fast track Obama health and education plans.
Dear World, Bite Me. Love, NK: North Korea resumes nuclear weapons project.
The Other White Meat Based Virus: CDC puts together vaccine in case of pandemic.
Now Go Sit In The Corner Until You Can Play Nice: King Co., cities fight over Justice Dept. stimulus money.
They Grow Up So Fast: Teen to be tried as adult in south area shooting.
Unlike Tinkerbell, You Don't Have To Believe In It For It To Be Real: Woman latest in light rail accidents.
Are We There Yet?: Viaduct plan heads to governor's office.
We Really Do Care, Just Not Right Now: World's poor being forgotten in recession.
And It's Local: Lawmakers look to trim budget by culling health care for poor.
I Need A Fix So I'm Going South, East: Florida is booming national market for prescription drug abuse.
Introducing Bigotry Classic; Same Flavor, Less Understandable: Pat Buchanan reduced to using archaic terms to express ire.
Your Daily Muppet, Weekend Edition: